There's going to be 19 months between DD and Beez... I'm a bit overwhelmed and nervous.
Anyone else had this kind of gap??
How did you cope?
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There's going to be 19 months between DD and Beez... I'm a bit overwhelmed and nervous.
Anyone else had this kind of gap??
How did you cope?
I'll tell you in a few months! There will be 20 months between my 2.
In pregnancy, as i am getting towards the end, DD is finding it difficult to fit on my lap for cuddles (and feeds). When she kicks her legs (e.g. if she doesn't want her nappy changed), i have to protect my tummy or it really hurts. I am hoping to get a pram with a toddler seat cos my LO is a runner if she can get away with it, she is just too little to understand dangers.
DD been climbing over me and kicking me in the boobs, which are in pain normally, without a 1yo kicking them.
There's the whole thing of "Do we buy a bed or another cot" "Do we need another baby monitor" "Do we need another pram"
It's pretty scary!!
I have 17 mths between mine, so it was pretty hectic. DD fell in love with DS the minute he was born and is a pretty independent kid so I found the early days fairly easy - she was happy to chat and play around me while I fed, or she would sit and feed her dolls at the same time!! Cute! I have actually found it harder when they were older, especially when they were 2 and 3. That year from when DS was 2-just recently was really tough in behavioural stuff for both of them really but we are coming out of that now and I am loving that they are such great friends! As for what you need, once you have had one I guess you really realise how little babies actually need and how much is just nice to have stuff. I didn't really get organised until I was on mat leave which was at 36 weeks and that is when I set up the nursery and bought what I needed. Good luck I am sure you will be fine and one thing I reminded myself of both times because sometimes I lost sight of it was that shops are still open once the baby is born :rofl: So if you DO need something you don't have once they are here, you can go and get it! :D
ETA: My DD had a low bed in her room from 14 mths and from 15 mths decided to sleep in it all the time, DS was in a hammock until he was nearly 12 mths anyway but we had the cot for some nap times as well.
We moved my DD in to a king single bed with a side guard at 18 months, but she never liked the cot and never slept in it as a 4 sided cot (she started in a hammock, then co-slept, then the cot next to our bed with only 3 sides). If your LO is happy in the cot, i would look for another cot for the new bub.
Oh yeah, sore boobs is tough when you have a little person who just wants to get close, and doesn't understand 'gentle' yet.
I have 17 mths between my first two, it is my favorite gap :D
They are now 15 and 16 and still get on really, really well.
It is a little hard at first but i found once we settled into a routine things went quite smoothly.
A double pram or pram with a toddler seat is a good thing to have but when bub is tiny a sling and pram works well too.
I put DD1 in a bed at 15-16 mths before her brother was born, he went into the bassinet for the first 4.5mths and then into the cot. She was well and truly in her bed and didn't see it as him taking it of her.
It is close but I found it a great gap, the 11 mth and 13 mth gap now that was to close! :lol:
You will be fine and BB is always here to help :D
There are 22mths between my kids.
You cope because you have to. There is no other choice. And yes it can be hard. But the good moments make up for all the tough ones.
I have 18 months and 4 days. Its hectic and full on for 12 months but does get easier!! But its also fun seeing them grow up together and kiss and cuddle.
DS1 was not walking when DS2 was born so that made things difficult as we have no off street parking so was exercise just to get to car!
DS1 didnt move to a bed until he was 2 as we had a bassinet for DS2 (not that he used it much).
You will cope because you have too there is no hard and fast rules!
I have 16 months between my youngest two and I also had an older son so I had 3, 3.5 and younger when dd was born.
I bought a cradle, dd slept in it until 7 months old. Ds2 stayed in a cot until 2 and was then moved straight into a bed and dd moved into the cot. Dd slept in the cradle in out room so never needed to buy a new monitor.
I carried dd until recently and just used an umbrella stroller for ds2 but it has got too hot for little miss too be carried and she is rebelling against it so I have recently bought a double pram.
Nights I find are the hardest thing with kids so young together. Ds2 was still night waking when dd was born and both still are so I am up a lot of the night. But other than that you manage. I was super overwhelmed at the thought before dd was born but it's be fine.
I have a 19mth gap between my first two (all those years ago now :rolleyes:) but I from what I do remember it was a case of "I have to do this, there is no point wondering the hows"
My DS14 wasnt overly fussed or put out when his brother arrived so that certainly made things alot easier.
We bought him a bed a few months before DS13 arrived and started off with daysleeps in it and slowly over time progressed to full time so no need for another cot. We had a sling I used for the first few weeks until I found a double pram I liked.
Lots of stuff was eased up on until I had some kind of routine down ie housework, washing, trips out, social life - love life! And that was just my personal routine :p I didnt bother trying to get the boys into one. The rules kept changing so I just went with the flow for a long time as I found that was the best way for me.
As a survivor :lol: I can say it is not going to be a piece of cake but you can do it!
My c section is booked for exactly 2 weeks today and there will be 14 months and 13 days between my boys. I'm also scared how I will cope as ds1 isn't all that independent and can be quite clingy and demanding! He does love little babies but so I'm hoping he likes his little brother even though he's gonna take up lots of mums time.
I like that we have him in a very good routine but so hoping that makes adding a new one a bit easier. He's still in the cot that's now in the nursery, he does have a toddler bed that's in his room and he has his day nap in that just to get use to it. I figure bub will be in the bassinet for at least 3/4 months so it gives us that long to get ds1 to sleep in his bed all the time. The way I see it I don't have a choice and as hard as it's going to be I cannot wait to see my baby boys grow up together and be really close due to their age.
:bump:
Anyone else got any experiences?
Yes 21 between dd1 and dd2 then 18 months between dd2 and ds. I found going from 1 to 2 pretty easy, once dd2 was home we were out and about straight away. We got into a good little routine she was grumpy at night but great during the day. It was harder with ds as he had reflux and I found it hard to cope at first but it's much easier these days. I love having a close gap between them all the kids play together and will be going off to school all within a few years and are doing the same activities.
hi i have 15 months between mine.
it was lovely to start.
it got difficult when DS was 2-3 and DD was 3-4 years as there was alot of frustration, jealousy and lack of communication skills but now that they are 3.5 and 4.5 it is getting easier.
x
Personally i found the first 2 years the easiest! and the first 12 months especially - when DS started moving about and DD realised she couldnt determine what he played with etc then it got interesting! then once DS found he could fight back and declare some independence and confidence much harder!.:
It was this 3yr old and 2 yr old and public outing that got difficult too as they were old enough to be interested and too young to understand they cant run in different directions on me! Once they were 3 and 4 got easier again as the eldest understood more and ds' hormones calmed downa little
We have 16mths between our first two. I found it pretty difficult for the first 6mths in particular, but up to a year was pretty tough. I suffered with AND and PND, which made it all the more difficult. My children are terrible sleepers, and having two that don't sleep well, a very frequently feeding breast fed baby, a DH who worked 12+hr night shifts, and having to return to work part time when #2 was 5mths old was really difficult.
But now looking back at it all I love how close they are to each other. They are a bit like twins in how close they are and they miss each other terribly when they are separated. I love their relationship and how close they are to each other. They do drive each other (and me!) bonkers sometimes, and are now getting to the stage of tormenting each other (at 5 and 3 1/2), lol. But that is what siblings do and I don't really think it would be much different if they were any further apart in age. Their adoration for each other far outweighs how they torment each other, lol.
I wouldn't change it at all now. Had you asked me in the first year, I would have said I would have preferred that they were further apart. But that was in the think of my depression and struggling with work ect. It was all circumstantial and mostly due to lack of sleep. As I got more sleep, I felt better. I love how it is now.
As for sleeping when they were tiny, we had DD (eldest) in the cot and DS1 int he cradle for about 4mths, and then we brought DD a big girl bed. by then she was pretty much too big for the cot anyway. She transitioned really well into the bed, and DS1 ended up cosleeping full time anyway!
There was 16 months between DS1 and DS2.
Luckily for me DS2 was an 'easy' baby. He didn't cry lots and only woke up once or twice a night.
Once they were both mobile shopping could be a bit crazy because they would both take off at top speed in opposite directions at least once every time we went to the shops.
I had 15 months between my DD and DS....it is easy peazy lemon squeezy I reckon. I'd go another yesterday! :)
Every day is different. Some days are good, others are great, and others you want to forget about. Same as the weeks. For me, the second baby was a breeze, I was more natural and followed my instinct, and baby did the same. You will be fine, and you know you can say when you're not 'fine'.
Your DD will love the new addition, love works in wonderous ways.
xxxxx
DD is a great sleeper. She generally sleeps 10+ hours at night.
She's currently 'difficult' as she's transitioning herself from 2 day sleeps to 1.
But, surely, by the time Beez turns up in 14 weeks she will have sorted her day sleep/s out.
DH works from 7.30am to 5pm. I hate him leaving early, but it's great to have him home early.
He works different hours depending on the time of year. Oct-March he works 5 days a week, and is on standby (for bushfires) every second weekend.
April-Sept he works 10 days on, 4 days off.
And all year around he can be called away for an entire week with only 4 hours notice.
DD was already in a routine when she finally came home from hospital. The biggest thing for me will be learning how to deal with a newborn (full term, without medical issues).
And learning to breastfeed. DD was too sick and I was too stressed so after 2 months of expressing she was switched to formula.
I'm really looking forward to July and seeing how DD copes with the new arrival. She loves our cat to pieces so hopefully she's as gentle with the baby.
DD is still so tiny at only 8kg and is a 'sleep crawler'. So we won't be putting her in a bed this year. She's just too little. We will review it around Christmas when she turns 2.
She finally started walking and is walking everywhere! In only a few days she has gone from a step here and there, to not crawling at all.
I love it. I was worried she wouldn't be walking by July.
I have 12 months 1 week gap and the first few months were a blur, now at 1.5 & 2.5 they are like twins in some ways same food, same bedroom, same night routine! And call me crazy but just got my BFP for #3!
LOL, Milka, you're not crazy, I have a 29mth gap between #2 and #3. That meant 3 kids 3 1/2yrs and under. I really loved the gap between my boys. Still small anought that they're close in age, but big enough that DS1 was more mature and able to understand more.
My boys are 18 months apart. Some days are easy, some days the only thing I can do is sit on the floor and let them both climb all over me.
We let DS1 decide on the bed transition as we had both set up. In the end we had to buy a second cot as DS2 was too big for the co-sleeper basinette and DS1 wasn't interested in the bed. I felt like I was running a nursery with both boys asleep in their cots.
I have and still find it really full-on. The actual age difference between DS and DD is 21 months. DS is developmentally delayed by about 9 months to 1 year, so it is the equivalent of having a 10 month age gap in this house. It is hard, but as a previous poster answered, you just have to do it. You can stress and get upset or you can just realise that you don't have a choice. I wouldn't have had such a small age gap if DS had his diagnosis earlier, but that is neither here nor there. DD is 10.5 months old now and I still can't leave them together without being in arms reach to get DD if DS gets rough or tries to cuddle her to death. It is exhausting. I have no parents here and my in-laws aren't very involved. Fortunately I have an Aunty who helps me out, but that's about it. So it is really hard, but if I can do it with such a small "adjusted" age-gap and very limited help, then you should be just fine. Think about all of those parents who have twins and triplets :) My hat goes off to them. Best of luck - you will cope JUST fine :D
I had 16 months between my youngest 2 and my eldest was only 3.5 when his sister was born so 3 under 4. Honestly the first 6-9 months where tough. My middle child has never been a good sleeper and neither was bub early on so I felt like I never slept. People have asked me certain things about that time period and it's more of a blur for me, I don't remember much. But I love it now. They are all sleeping much better, they play with each other. I struggled with 2 in nappies but ds2 is toilet trained now which makes it easier. Some days are full on but mostly we manage quite well.
Eta for sleeping arrangements we bought a cradle which bub slept in for 7 months and then ds2 moved to a big bed just before 2 and she went into the cot. I have a double pram but mostly we used a baby carrier and stroller.
I have 12 months and 5 days between my girls and TBH it was very, very hard but DD2 was unwell and extremely high maintenance. I found things easier when I threw out the idea of schedules for DD2 and just took each day as it comes. Lots of times with all three of us sleeping together in my bed because that was the only way anyone would sleep during the day. Probably too much tv on some days for DD1 if DD2 was having an especially bad day. I definitely needed a double pram, even though DD1 had been walking for a couple of months. I found it so much easier to be able to go out knowing that both girls were secure and safe in the pram - nothing worse than one going in one direction and one in the other.
As PPs have said, you manage because you have to. Some days you'll wonder how you'll get to the end of the day but other days will be amazing. I love the age gap now (and have done for a couple of years). My girls are so incredibly close and loving with each other and I'm sure so much of that is because they really have truly grown up together. Having said that, I'm really looking forward to a 4 and 5 year age gap with my new bub. Will be lovely to have some one on one time with her while DDs 1 and 2 are at school/kindy.
I think you will find lots of advantages in a smaller age gap though, and you will all survive it!