My kids in care

I have PND and have had my children taken away. They have not been abused and I sought out help. I have to prove that I can be mentally stable for upwards of 6months before they will consider giving them back. My 4yr old is constantly begging them to come home and my 6month old is so sick from the formula that they are giving him that he has had to be hospitalised. What can I do to get my babies back sooner?
All the data they have collected about me being unwell is from my 6week hospital stay and all other data says that I am a brilliant parent, even they admit that. I'm so worried for my boys, they need to come home.

I am sorry but I can not help, I just wanted to send you some :hugs: and say good luck xxxx


From Queens IPhonio

I don't have any advice, but i just wanted to send you a hug.
I hope you can sort it out soon.

I hope you can get some help with your PND and that your two little boys are back home with the mum they love as soon as possible.

Engage with DOCS. Do everything they say. Make sure you take your medication and engage with your mental health professionals.

That's all you can do.

Best wishes.

I second what Divvy mentioned. Make sure you work on yourself to get your self better so that you can get your boys back. It seems like you have done the right thing (although it may not feel like that at the moment) by asking for help. Continue to ask for help and you will find the light at the end of the tunnell. :hug:

I think you really need to put yourself first for the next six months. It will be sooo hard but it's what you need to do. Concentrate on getting better. Do it for your little ones and yourself.

As Div said, work with DOCs and any other professionals you are with. I am sure they will give you a plan to follow. Stick with your medication. Keep talking to people and asking for help - and hugs - when you need them.

It will seem impossible but YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!! You are a strong mumma and this will be worth it in the end.

Maybe you could try writing a little letter to your boys every night, telling them how much you love them and your plans for your future together. It's not to send to them, but later, in years to come, it might be something you want to share with them.

You have shown such courage reaching out here. I admire you :)

Stay strong x

Oh my gosh I can't believe this...I am so sorry but it's so important for you to get strong for them, this is so shocking and such a wake up...for me included. Oh hun, you have my number xxx

Listen to Divvy. She is most wise.

Omg - Im so sorry. No advice jut huge hugs, love and support x

I went through this last year took 6 months to get the first 2 back another month for the next and then another couple for the last cos hes the hardest, set up a meeting with docs and talk to them about what you nee to do in order to get them back

GL

I've done everything they've asked, all they seem to want me to do right now is to just wait. The referrals for reunification was supposed to be sent off weeks ago, as per the Signs of Safety (SOS) meeting but they still haven't done it.
I'm going to try and write my eldest a book so that he understands a bit better why he can't come home just yet.

Writing a book, or letter sounds like a good idea.

I've seen way too many episodes of Jeremy Kyle and seen so many kids have questions for their parents later in life after being in care. Writing would be a great way to show how things are, how you feel, and what you feel for them. It could maybe even be a bit of therapy for you too.

Writing always helps me.

Good luck, I really hope it turns around for you soon.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The other posters have all given you wonderful advice :hug: I hope that you get your babies back with you soon. It is hard on them now, but they will understand when you tell them you need a little more time to be better :hug:

My heart breaks for you.......I am so sorry you are going through this. Please take the advice of the other posters. Xx

I can't give you any advice, and the ladies in here hve been wonderful. I just wanted to give you so many hugs. xxoo :hug::hug:

:hug: You have done the right thing asking for help. Are you able to express milk for your DS2? I would hope that delivery of your milk can be facilitated if you are able to provide it. There are plenty of AD's you can take whilst BF or expressing. I hope your boys are home soon.

I'm so sorry to hear you've been in such a bleak and hard place. :hug:

Concentrate on getting yourself better. Healing yourself from such a low place takes longer than 6 weeks in hospital. Please make sure you are fully well before you get them back. I can't imagine how hard it is to be away from them, but you need to be in a better place to be able to care for them properly.

What the others have said - work with DOCS and other professionals you are dealing with. It may feel like everything is taking a really long time, but hang in there. I have known of some mums in your position who have gotten their children back sooner than they expected because of all the work that they did with DOCS and on getting themselves better. So do all that you can. You will get there.

Ask about getting EBM to your little one. Ring the ABA Helpline if you need help with this, as unfortunately some professionals and DOCS workers don't understand the importance of breastmilk for a young baby, and may not think this is a priority, but if you can do this, then I recommend that you do. Actually, if you are able to, expressing BM may help with your recovery because of the hormones that your body produces during let down.

GL. :hug:

I don't have any advice about being reunited with your little ones. Only what Divvy & the OP's have suggested. Make sure you get well yourself, I hope you don't have to wait too long to be back with your boys.

I was going to suggest what Starfish said, can you provide EBM?

Best of luck, I feel so sad for you

There are a couple of lovely books aimed for children in foster care.

One that looks really sweet and gentle is called: "Mama One, Mama Two". there are sellers on Amazon that have them second hand super affordable (the original prices are terrifying lol). but i saw a few for only $2 +PH. Also, "Abebooks dot co dot uk" have a few for sale. it's a golden oldie book, but sounds as though it would resonate with your son (about a child that has to live with a family while his mama is in hospital).

HTH and many many :hug: It is a lonely path, but you are not alone xx

Thanks for the names of the books and for the hugs, I really need them right now. I get EBM delivered to him every two days because I'm not producing enough to do so more often. He was up at the hospital again last night because of breathing difficulties and they suspect that he is allergic to cows milk.
Doing what I can to increase my supply and keeping him on the boob. He is breastfed most contact visits (that's why I get so many) to keep the milk adapting to his needs and to keep up supply.

My thoughts are with you.
I hope you are well again soon and the speedy return of your babies oh and the person doing the paper work gets a wriggle on.

Oh hugs hun so sorry things have got so bad for you. Keep doing all you are asked by them and take care of yourself to show them you can do it. Well done on keeping expressing that is a big effort xoxo

I am very sorry that you have found yourself in this position. As a parent I can imagine how difficult this must be for you.
The only other suggestion I would make is that you attend every single scheduled visit.

I'd never miss the chance to see my babies :) Only time a contact had to be cancelled was when I was in court fighting for them

Have u got any family they can stay with, i got to move into mums when she had the boys, and then i did most of their care which also showed well for my mental health improvment


Sent from my iphone, so may not make sense

I hope you are back with your babies really soon. :hugs:

Unfortunately I have no family capable of looking after my boys. If they're not with me, they are best off in foster care. I've been more accepting of things this week. Still hoping to move things along as quick as possible because me and my babies need them to.

I hope so too Dampyre. Thinking of you.

Thinking of you hun, so proud of you xo

I wish there was more foster carers in my area. My poor guy is getting moved from one place to another, away from his Mother and Brother.

How are things going?

How are you going Damprye? Hope you are doing ok.

Just wanted to check in and see how you are going?

Sorry I haven't updated in ages. Reunification is finally starting. They wanted to see me mentally stable for 6 months before returning my kids. It's stupid as the problem was pnd but nothing can be done about that. At least they are finally starting to come home. First visit at home will be Monday.

That's great news. Hope Monday comes quickly for you!

Fantastic!

I'm glad you are finally getting your babies back :hug:. I don't know how they think taking your kids would improve PND, it doesn't make sense. hope they are back with you full time asap :hug:.