Struggling after m/c

I didn't think this would be so hard :( I've had one loss already, but I was much further on and in all honesty, I think I was so in shock, I barely remember the whole experience. I've blocked out so much of it at the time, I am still going to see my psych about it. This time it's different. I am really aware of everything. I think because I didn't let myself relax fully, and I was almost half expecting for something to go wrong, it hit me hard but not that hard that I was in shock and in a daze itms????? The thing is, I am really struggling with the fact that I am not pg anymore. I should be around 10 weeks along. I still have that really bloated belly, the boobs are still a lot bigger that my normal size, so I look pg. Except I'm not. I struggle with little bellies, not big ones, because they remind me of what I had and still have, but no baby is in there anymore. I can cope well with big bellies, newborns, other babies, birth announcements, but if someone tells me they're just found out they're pg, or they're almost finished their 1st trimester, or even another bloody celebrity on the magazine announces "I'm pg!!!!", it's like a stab in the heart. I just want to feel normal again :( I miss being pg so much, it's unbearable sometimes. No need to reply, just feels better to get this out. Thanks for listening.

:comfort:

Thinking of you, I know when I had my miscarriage about 4 weeks after it I had a breakdown at work when someone said something to my pregnant collegue. It is so hard an so few people understand the emotions that come with a miscarriage.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: :heartbeat::heartbeat:

Miss B I can't express how sorry I am. Big :hug:

Hugs ;-(


Cat xox

Miss B, I'm so so sorry :hug:
All I can say is let yourself feel everything you're feeling. Cry, break down, be devastated and don't try to feel "normal" before you're ready.
Thinking of you x

Missb here is another of my hugs for you. I am so sorry you have to go through this again and hopefully in time the pain will ease a bit even though it will never go away completely.
We are all here for you to blurt out your feelings and talk about it.
Hope you have been able to get some rest as that is important to help you cope as well, cry whenever you need to, it always makes me feel a bit better xo

Go easy on yourself hun :hug: you're entitled to find it hard, to struggle, to grieve all that you have lost :hug: I wish it wasn't so, and I wish I knew the right words to say to help ease the heartache you're feeling xx

Oh Miss B :(

You've always been there for others, and I'm so sad to see you once again in here. It really is tough... And I am truly sorry for your loss.

Big love sent your way, ok?

Take care.
Telly x

:hug: it's so hard. And I get the pregnancy announcement thing because I still struggle with them and I'm 30weeks pregnant!
Be kind to yourself in this difficult time in your life.

Sweetie I am sorry you are in this place. I remember the feeling and it's awful xx

It's just not fair is it? This journey should be full of joy not heartbreak. It's normal to feel like this, you are in a state of grief and loss so take the time to mourn the loss of your pg and baby
Sending you another warm hug and a big box of tissues as it's ok to cry as you get through it, give that DS of yours a big squishy hug, little ppl hugs are very therapeutic x x


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It is just ****. I was always shocked at how badly I handled my losses. Until I came to realise that it really is tragic and earth shattering so why shouldn't it knock me for six :(

Please be gentle on yourself.

missb- i'm sorry its so hard, it just is and theres no way around it. Please take it easy lovely lady xx

I'm so sorry :hug:

Lots of hugs for you, I am so very sorry you are going through this. Make sure you let all your emotions out.:hug::hug:

Thanks everyone :grouphug:. It's hard ATM because just before we found out there were problems we were planning my LO's birthday. Then everything sort of came to a stop and now I have so little time to prepare everything, so just no time to myself, let alone to grieve properly. It's good to have a distraction I guess, but then the real issue gets put to the side and it's really better to deal with it I think.

Thinking of you :hug:

So very sorry for your loss hun, sending you love and strength and a big warm embrace :hug:.

Regards,
Dianne

My heart goes out to you during this time. Surround yourself with people who love you and understand whats going on.

Big hugs to you and your family and all the best for your little mans party :comfort:

Oh B, my heart just broke for you reading that. Tegam got it I think - it is an earth-shattering thing, so it is ok to be not ok. :comfort:

I know what you mean about the little bumps. I'm exactly the same - still. Good friend of mine is the same gestation that I would have been... And every time I see her, my heart aches. Every single time. I can only imagine that it will continue, for some time... But I hope it will get easier. I hope.

I'll keep you in my prayers, dear B.

Oh, Miss B. :hug: I wish I was lucky enough not to understand what you're going through, but man- do I. It's ok to feel ripped off and flat out devastated. I too wish I wasn't back in here. It sucks. My recent chem was such a shock, and over so quickly that I have found myself questioning that it really happened. Stupidly, I still have the positive test to prove it. I don't want to throw it away. I should be almost 9 weeks. "Should." There you go. I have a bad case of 'the shoulds' right now. It doesn't help that a close friend is pg, at the same gestation I was supposed to be. Every milestone is a reminder, but at the same time I don't want to miss out on her journey either.

IT SUCKS! My only advice is to allow yourself to feel whatever you want, and don't push yourself to 'return to normal' before it's time. I wish I could take my own advice, but alas....... DP doesn't share the same sadness I do. Again. He never grieves or understands or even cares about our losses. I would've hoped he would at least care that I am hurting, but I can't even tell him. I don't want to share that part of me with him again for him to shoot me down and tell me our baby was 'nothing'. Well, it sure didn't feel like nothing when I held it in my hand and said goodbye, while blood and tears and despair all mix together.

Sorry, what a massive downer that was.

I guess that's my way of saying I'm right here beside you, feeling ripped off and not knowing where to turn. I'm so so sorry for your loss. :hug:

:hug: thinking of you :comfort:

Massive :hug: :hug: and love huni. xxxxxxxxx

Big hugs Miss B - you are such a great support to everyone else - hope that we can all help you out now with a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen.

Janie xxx

I am sorry to read this MissB, it is not an easy path at all. It's more difficult when the world continues to move at such a fast pace and you are not able to be still and be with what is being asked of you. May you feel supported as you walk this journey xx

:hug: - Im so sorry you are struggling. I wish I could take your pain away, but I cant, all I can do is say that I understand, fully, and that I am here to support you whenever you need. :hug:

I am so sorry :hug:

Thanks ladies, it's sad to know others have been through this too. I wish no one had to endure it :( Thank you for your beautiful hugs and messages xox

:hug: Have another one.

I wish there was something I could do... but I know all too well there is nothing.

Happy birthday to Cameron for tomorrow, I hope immersing yourself in whatever celebration you have planned for him eases your pain if only for a little while. :hug:

Hi hun, I've been thinking of you. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this - it's just not fair.
Wishing your little Cam a happy birthday tomorrow (as my Cam celebrates his) - he won't care about any party plans, he'll just be happy with his mummy's cuddles.
Take care, xx