I didn't think this would be so hard I've had one loss already, but I was much further on and in all honesty, I think I was so in shock, I barely remember the whole experience. I've blocked out so much of it at the time, I am still going to see my psych about it. This time it's different. I am really aware of everything. I think because I didn't let myself relax fully, and I was almost half expecting for something to go wrong, it hit me hard but not that hard that I was in shock and in a daze itms????? The thing is, I am really struggling with the fact that I am not pg anymore. I should be around 10 weeks along. I still have that really bloated belly, the boobs are still a lot bigger that my normal size, so I look pg. Except I'm not. I struggle with little bellies, not big ones, because they remind me of what I had and still have, but no baby is in there anymore. I can cope well with big bellies, newborns, other babies, birth announcements, but if someone tells me they're just found out they're pg, or they're almost finished their 1st trimester, or even another bloody celebrity on the magazine announces "I'm pg!!!!", it's like a stab in the heart. I just want to feel normal again I miss being pg so much, it's unbearable sometimes. No need to reply, just feels better to get this out. Thanks for listening.