Not all OBs are terrible

Had an OB appt yesterday. Told him that I had been up all the night before with pains, and that bubs has slowed down. He's hoping that's a sign that I'm close. Told him that I'll believe it when I see (feel) it, but that I am so ready for this to all be over. He asked if I wanted an induction over the weekend and I said no, not that far over it yet that I'm quite ready to go down that road. He has told me that after last week's "practice run", if I go to hospital again with suspected labour then he won't let me go home provided he can do an AROM without needing to use gels first. He knows that I will happily have an induction if AROM is as far as we need to go, but not if I need a drip etc. He's worried about my mental wellbeing, which I can't say I blame him for - I'm a little worried about it myself ;) I'm starting to really struggle with the lack of sleep, constant sickness and pain level, as well as anxiety of getting to the hospital in time if I have another speedy birth.

Having spent time with him yesterday, it really annoys me how much of a bashing OBs get in general. I accept that there are some bad ones, as with any profession, but mine is so fantastic. He is extremely low intervention and genuinely believes women are designed to birth babies, and they should be left to it most of the time. He takes the time to get to know ME, to remember what has happened with previous pregnancies so he knows that I'm not my normal self this time around. He's not pushing anything on me, just giving me options and then supporting my decision, and I'm so grateful for that.

It's great you've found a great obs! I've had a good one too


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I am often over care professionals getting labeled as evil. People seem to forget that midwifery and obstetrics are actually 2 seperate areas. Obstetrics are taught the bad stuff, they have the 'unnatural' drilled into them because it is their job to fix it. IF something goes wrong they are the ones expected to fix and save the day. so thats what they know. very little of their education is on 'normal' and what happens if things actually go right. Unfortuantly the line between midwifery and obstetrics is blurred, which is why they are involved when they might not need to be.

but yes I agree with you, they aren't all terrible. I'm glad you guys are on the same page about what you need and want =)

I love my ob too. So does DH. He's a wonderful, caring provider. I get sad when I read or hear all of them get hit at as a whole. Not all are terrible.

I hope you get to meet your baby over the weekend, Lulu. :hug: :hug:

It's good you've found an OB you feel cared for by and connect with. Everybody is different. Personally, I wouldn't be happy with being told if I present at hospital again I won't be leaving and my waters will be broken, BUT you are totally over it and in a completely different situation, and it seems like your OB gets that and is willing to do what needs to be done to keep your mental well being on track, which is just as important as physical IMO. At the end of the day we have to feel comfortable with and trust our caregivers, and if that's how you feel then you're already winning!

There are definitely good ones out there. And thank goodness we have them, we really need their expertise some of the time. However there are many people having bad experiences, and like any profession it creates feelings about things. How do you feel about politicians? Salesmen? Telstra?! Hearing problems over and over again, bad service, bad products... all produces bad feedback and a general/common feeling about it. Would you trust an Ob who works in a hospital where they do 80% c/s? Or would you worry that you'd end up with one too? Hopefully you've done your homework, picked a good one (not just who your neighbour thinks is good - someone aligned with what you want and actually listens) and checked out their intervention rates, but not many people do this.

These people are venting disappointment over what they felt would be a very memorable moment of their life, for good reason... but with c/s rates like we have, with Obs not following evidence based care, there are going to be unhappy people. All you can do is keep telling the good stories of the good Obs and people will go to them. No point to get upset or angry about people who have had a different experience than you - they are hurting and some have trauma too. As you would know, keeping those feelings down just blows up eventually. And without people kicking up a fuss, nothing changes.

Such a pity something positive can't be said about OBs - really in this case one particular OB - without the negative getting thrown in! You are absolutely entitled to your view Kelly, but I really don't think this thread was the place for it. People are allowed to vent their disappointments about their OBs, and I would never go into one of those threads and lecture them on how they maybe should have researched their OB more, or how they shouldn't vent because there are good OBs out there, so please don't now tell me that I should never feel the need to say something positive because others have legitimate reasons to be negative.

FWIW, my OB does work in one of the highest rated CS hospitals in Perth. And yep, I trust him notwithstanding that fact. Nope, I have absolutely no concerns that I'll end up with a CS unless something goes terribly wrong, in which case I'll be even more relieved that I have my incredibly qualified, professional, understanding OB on hand.

PZ - his comment about me not going home again stems from what happened last week, when I stayed for hours and then went home - at his direction. We have discussed my feelings on induction v. natural - having had both he knows that spontaneous is my first preference by a long way - but knows I have lots of other concerns about waiting ITMS.

I wasn't saying you can't be positive, I am saying keep posting about the positive Obs, then they will get more attention, more business and maybe the not so nice/supportive Obs will start to notice.

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All you can do is keep telling the good stories of the good Obs and people will go to them.

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I'm only allowed an opinion in certain discussions? Really?

ETA: There is a forum especially for venting if you want to start a discussion to vent about people venting :) You can add a prefix so people know you're venting and you just want to say what you want to say without a discussion as to why this may be. But forums are exactly that - topics for discussion. If you just want people coming in here agreeing with you, then you'll have a thread bashing ob-bashers. Seems counter-productive, but like I said, its the general forums where people wont always agree with each other (even though I think I was agreeing with you that there are good Obs out there. I love some of them!). When I post, I don't expect people to agree with me, that's how I learn - from what other people think, feel and believe. I have spent the last 9 years on here hearing people vent about all sorts of things, its a good opportunity to learn about them and myself.

Totally Lulu! That's what I mean! He knows how you feel, so many caregivers (not just OB's) aren't in tune with their patients wishes and needs. He knows how you feel, so he acts accordingly. Like I said, everyone is different, and wants different things. I assume if you said you wanted to go back home, are happy to wait, not in much pain distress etc etc he'd back that too. Sorry of I came across the wrong way, I was agreeing with you :)

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However there are many people having bad experiences, and like any profession it creates feelings about things. How do you feel about politicians? Salesmen? Telstra?! Hearing problems over and over again, bad service, bad products... all produces bad feedback and a general/common feeling about it. Would you trust an Ob who works in a hospital where they do 80% c/s? Or would you worry that you'd end up with one too? Hopefully you've done your homework, picked a good one (not just who your neighbour thinks is good - someone aligned with what you want and actually listens) and checked out their intervention rates, but not many people do this.

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I took Lulu's post to be a positive thumbs up to her ob, saying that there are good ones out there. And others, including myself, have come in to say, hey that's great, I have a great/good ob too. And then the above statement is made, and the negativity is there, and a debate will begin, when all it was to begin with was a "Woo hoo" on a good experience she is having.

If I started a thread about a fantastic experience I had with a Telstra representative, would the following posts be about bad experiences with Telstra? Or that you could have a bad experience with Telstra? No. There'd probably be a bunch of "That's great" and "I had a good experience too." But because this is about an OB, the negativity will be thrown in.

We know that you CAN have a bad experience with an OB. Everyone is well aware of it. Reminding everyone of that when Lulu is sharing a good experience that would be generally considered outside the norm, well that doesn't really sit well with me.

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I'm only allowed an opinion in certain discussions? Really?

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I think its a common courtesy to actually keep our opinions to ourselves at times, depending on the thread. I type a heap of posts that I never actually submit - I'll read a post and maybe have a differing view so type out my response. Then I'll re-read it and think, you know what? She's entitled to her view and while I disagree, this isn't the place to debate it. So the good old cancel button gets pressed and on I move to something else.

You say that the good OBs should have more said about them, so that maybe they'll get more business and the bad ones will pull their socks up. That's all I've done here, but if a simple thread about how reassuring my appt was gets turned into another attack on OBs in general not much progress will be made.

I agree that OBs generally get a bad rap because of the actions of a portion of them. What that portion is, is open to interpretation. I can only go by my own experience, which was overwhelmingly positive.

I think it's wrong to generalise about any group due to the actions of a few. I wouldn't do it for a race, so why should I do it for a profession (with a few exceptions)???

I also get concerned by the 'us and them' mentality that exists in some quarters towards OBs. Surely to have a good experience with any medical professional, it is better to come at it from a position of partnership and common purpose, rather than combative suspicion.

Ok. My "Like" button has disappeared. Am I being punished? :lol:

ETA: Apparently not - just impatient.

I love my OB. He's a legend. I felt 100% confident in everything that he did. I loved seeing him and felt supported and respected through all three pregnancies and births.

Some of the midwives on the other hand, I was not so impressed with! There are good and bad caregivers in all professions. And yes I agree, I think often the generalizations and sweeping statements about Ob's are unwarranted.

Fantastic that you feel confident that your OB has your best interests at heart. It's a great thing to feel that confidence and support. Where ever you find that, at home, with a midwife, your husband or with your OB it certainly helps the birthing process in my opinion. All the very best for your impending birth. :)

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Ok. My "Like" button has disappeared. Am I being punished? :lol:

ETA: Apparently not - just impatient.

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At 39 weeks and four days, we will forgive you your impatience :lol:

I've not attacked Obs, just stated some facts and reasons as to why these people [the "bashers"] might feel and act the way they do, if anyone is interested in delving deeper than deciding to be annoyed and think all people who don't like Obs are nasty, horrid people. Easier to make peace with it when you understand people and why they do and say the things they do. They are upset/angry - thats their story/journey to sort out. So what makes you upset/angry about it? Why does it irritate you, really, how does it affect you? You have an Ob who you think is awesome, which is wonderful, I am so happy you'll have a great, trusting journey with him... I wish everyone could. But its just not reality, which is why we have enough complaints going around for you to notice - and no other means for these women to debrief in but places like this online community. We can only ever make it better by saying YAY to the great Obs. Unfortunately because so many Obs tried to sue me for members comments on their experiences with me, we no longer have a recommend an Ob forum.

Society creates an 'us and them' mentality, its a widespread thing people do, hard to shift. I never support Ob bashing or would allow it to go on here, but I support being real and having facts - and being understanding and loving to people and their views, even when they're not being so loving. Because s the saying goes... everyone is fighting some kind of battle.

I had an awesome OB and I trusted him 100%. Yes I had a CS but I guessed myself before he told me as I am educated and a mw. Anyone can empower themselves with all the info in the world but not everyone gets their dream birth.

Kelly, I think what is upsetting people are the generalisations about OBs. The idea that ALL obstetricians are somehow bad.

It's an irrational argument. Even a woman that has suffered during her birthing experience due to the actions of one, maybe two OBs cannot, based on her experiences, say ALL OBs are bad.

LOL PacRak I could get started about Telstra, I have very poor mobile service here in the country, I am in a Telstra blackspot which they are investigating :p

If the title would have been worded differently I may not have posted, for example, I have a great Ob, or I love my Ob. But since it was 'Not all obs are terrible' its implying an issue of an ob bashing mentality. The whole BB is an anti-ob, anti-formula site mentality exists with some, and I am trying to convey the message that we do very much appreciate Obs here, they save lives, but also without alienating those who have had trauma with their births. I now understand that the OP was all about being happy about the choice of Ob, but the wording used wasn't clear that it was only asking for posts in agreeance - but that is foreign to me like I said, I don't post just so people will all have the same belief, support or experience. Could have also been just as easy for a response to say, 'Yes I can see how they could be hurting, must be difficult to have a bad experience. I am so lucky! I'll definitely be telling all my friends' etc etc...

n2l - I see what you mean, but I don't get that impression at all, I see that there are people who are pro-midwife, pro-freebirth, pro-ob. And also the anti- of all of those. I just don't see it as being a massive thing? We all just have our preferences with care and can have bad experiences in all those settings. I know homebirth stories where the mothers weren't happy with the care too... just as anywhere else. Maybe I am not looking in the right places... and maybe thats a good thing. Negative energy isn't a great place to be, groups like that sap the life out of you!

Lulu I agree that there are some great ones. The team I am under both ob's, endocrinologists and middies at My hossy have been amazing. They know me by name (yeah ok I am there alot lol) and are always willing to spend as much time as I need with me. While I am pushing for an induction due to pelvic pain that is getting unbearable they are taking every precaution that they can so that is my only intervention if possible. It really is great when you know you have a supportive OB or even medical team cheering in your corner.

Obs are just people, some are rubbish, some are awesome and all shades between, I'm glad you have an awesome relationship with yours Lulu. I have a mostly great relation ship with mine too, but i have seen threads elsewhere from women who have had massive issues with her. I find the generalisations hard too.. but i have not walked their journeys nor they mine.

I don't understand your post to be honest.

You're saying this OB offered you an induction and you said you're okay as you're not that overdue yet, but your ticker says you haven't even reached your due date? Then the OB went on to state that you would be given interventions regardless next time you're in hospital.

But you think this OB will only give you a c-sect if things go wrong and you need it. Well yeah, that's often the case but it's a question of why did things go wrong?

I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what part of his practice you are trying to convey was good? He sounded overly into unnecessary interventions and in a power position over your body to me.

I AM glad you're happy though. Because a good match between the mother and the care giver is important :D

I personally am happy with my ob. I've had to have two in this pregnancy and both have let me call the shots and feel like I have control over the experience.

I agree with Lulu about the bad generalization a lot of ob's get and I don't doubt it's because most women can vent on here where they normally could not and it is healthy to have a medium to express yourself. I think the difficulty arises when you feel negatively viewed for wanting and liking your ob. Everyone who has a good ob should be able to voice that without being slammed by others, the same as I would not judge a woman who feels comfortable with not having a professional involved.

Like others have said every doctor is different and some arent worth their qualifications, but for those of us who have found one we trust completely it's a good feeling, no doubt like a proud home birthing mamma who achieved all she wanted.

Personally I think everyone needs to respect and be happy for eachother, in how they choose to birth and support everyone's personal decision. We should be all on the same team

And hey it doesn't hurt to have something positive to say about a group of people occasionally :)


At the end of the day we all deserve to have a comfortable and happy birth! :)

Just goes to show that our perceptions are often moulded by our beliefs.

Nowhere have I said that my OB has pressured me into anything. He knows ME. He knows MY history. He knows that my last child was delivered in slightly under 20 minutes, that I now live at least 40 minutes drive from the hospital plus whatever time I need to organise my two children here and my Mum to care for them, and am terrified that I will deliver in the car. He knows that my trip to hospital at midnight last week left me completely shattered emotionally. He knows that my fears of losing this baby are sky high. He knows that I don't want an induction if it can be avoided, but that I am smart enough to know the risks and that I am smart enough to understand that sometimes my mental and emotional health is more important than getting the spontaneous labour I would choose in better circumstances, or an ideal world.

This is an OB who saw me during my last pregnancy when I was 41+1 and said "see you in a week" because he saw no need to do anything other than let nature take its course. He is not high intervention. He is high care. He knows that what I want is to go into spontaneous labour, have a lovely slow build up to allow me to get to hospital on time, and then deliver naturally, drug free as I did last time under his care, and that's what he wants too. Fortunately for me, he also wants me to actually stay sane throughout the process and so provides options when I tell him that its all geting too much for me. His comment about breaking my membranes if I end up in hospital again is to reassure me that whatever happens it will be ok (I asked for an induction last week and he agreed to do it for me, but also told me all the reasons why I should hang out longer if I could. One of those apparently mystical OBs who doesn't reach for a scalpel or a drip at a moment's notice. So his remark about not "letting" me go home next time was not said as a threat that hey, you'd better get it right next time or else I'm taking over.

Maybe I should have been far more detailed in my original post and included a whole heap more of my personal history as I've now done. I thought it was enough to say hey, I've got a great OB. Lucky me.

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Maybe I should have been far more detailed in my original post and included a whole heap more of my personal history as I've now done. I thought it was enough to say hey, I've got a great OB. Lucky me

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It should be enough and you shouldn't feel a need to explain yourself or meet anyone's expectations but your own.

I see you live in Perth, because I could have sworn we are talking about my OBS in Melbourne!

I am extremely comfortable and happy with mine too. He was my OBS for my DD and I decided after much careful thought into what type of model of care I wanted (I chose private hospital again) that I'd see him again & I am so glad I did. I too don't get rushed in any of my appts, he went through my birth notes and his notes when I saw him for my DD. We talked about the decision I had to make in relation to where I wanted to give birth (which hospital) and how I wanted to give birth (I had an emerg. c-sect with DD). We talked about risk of VBAC (uterine rupture etc..) and repeat c-sect. Told me I had plenty of time to decide or change my mind (I have chosen VBAC). If I change my mind & decide c-sect he said that is my choice, however is cheering me on for a VBAC and as he said if I don't give it go, I won't know. I also talked about my choices in hospital being respected by him & the midwives & that they are all on the same page (in as many circumstances as they can be) and what the % of successful VBAC is at the hosptial I have chosen - all answered honestly & frank.

I wish you all the best for your upcoming birth & it sounds like you are in great hands!

I have a very similar ob, and will go with him and the same private hospital when we decide to have number 2!
We had a wonderful experience from all caregivers, and made an experience which I was completely freaking out about wonderful and empowering! (I was so scared about it all, I had convinced myself I would never ever be pregnant again, now I cant wait!)

I am so grateful to have found a "good" one!

Good luck with your upcoming birth, looking forward to reading your BA!


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Yay for good Obs and more to the point, having a good relationship with your ob where he knows what's on your mind and vice versa.

I'll say I was very glad to have my ob there when it all started to go pear-shaped during DS's birth and am grateful for all his expertise and assistance that kept me from needing a c-sect in the end.

My OB is awesome too. Just saying :)

LuluHB, you're happy with your OB and the care you're getting. I'm glad to hear it.

I don't think you need to justify this at all. I do think maybe the title of the thread made it seem like you wanted to have a go at the haveagoers, and may have invited some comment.

When i was pregnant with DD3 I had a terrible OB at our local hospital, would end up in tears every time I seen her, it was her way or no way. However when I went in to have DD3 I had a wonderful OB. I ended up having a c-section which was hard after 3 VBs but I know the OB did all he could and waited as long as he could before talking c-section. I had my midwife and student midwife with me plus the 2 midwifes from the hospital who all agreed with the OB so I know he didn't just jump into it lol. He gave me a chose and listened to what I wanted. I'm glad you got a good OB. It will all be over soon and you will be holding your beautiful baby. :hug:

I love my Ob, I'm glad you've got a good one also! I think my ob was one of the ones cheering the loudest after DD2's smooth drug free arrival, she said I should get a crown and a gold star and I should tell EVERYONE how well it went :)

I also think that tarring all Obs with the same brush is unnecessary and unhelpful. These are very highly trained professionals with years of experience that we can't assume to replace with some reading on the internet. I think we can research and compliment that years of training but not replace it.

But I can definitely see how they get a bad wrap. Of course there are the Obs that are the bad seeds.
I was a private patient and hand picked an Ob who was I was going to work well with and help me get what I wanted, but I can totally see that many women going through a public system mostly see midwives (which is a good thing!) and only see an Ob when things go pear shaped. And no one is going to feel warm a fuzzy about the person who had to take action when things have gone pear shaped. Like another poster has said, they are the ones trained to handle things when they go wrong, so by virtue of that they are going to handle a lot of situations where things haven't gone to plan and there is a lot of ill feeling.

I'm glad your OB is great. :) sounds like he knows what he's talking about and knows you really well. :)

I have a good OB this time, after having a nightmare of OBs last time, I know how important a good one is.

Can't wait to see your BA and will be silently stalking.

All the best for the coming days/weeks.
xx
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I'm glad you're happy with and trust your OB LuLu. Yay for all the great OBs out there.

I'm sorry some people in this thread have made you feel like you have to defend and justify your trust in your OB. Overall this is a pretty open minded and respectful forum but it's certainly not perfect.