Not all OBs are terrible

[LuluHB]

Had an OB appt yesterday. Told him that I had been up all the night before with pains, and that bubs has slowed down. He's hoping that's a sign that I'm close. Told him that I'll believe it when I see (feel) it, but that I am so ready for this to all be over. He asked if I wanted an induction over the weekend and I said no, not that far over it yet that I'm quite ready to go down that road. He has told me that after last week's "practice run", if I go to hospital again with suspected labour then he won't let me go home provided he can do an AROM without needing to use gels first. He knows that I will happily have an induction if AROM is as far as we need to go, but not if I need a drip etc. He's worried about my mental wellbeing, which I can't say I blame him for - I'm a little worried about it myself I'm starting to really struggle with the lack of sleep, constant sickness and pain level, as well as anxiety of getting to the hospital in time if I have another speedy birth.

Having spent time with him yesterday, it really annoys me how much of a bashing OBs get in general. I accept that there are some bad ones, as with any profession, but mine is so fantastic. He is extremely low intervention and genuinely believes women are designed to birth babies, and they should be left to it most of the time. He takes the time to get to know ME, to remember what has happened with previous pregnancies so he knows that I'm not my normal self this time around. He's not pushing anything on me, just giving me options and then supporting my decision, and I'm so grateful for that.

[leckert]

It's great you've found a great obs! I've had a good one too


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk so may be slightly confusing

[~TT40~]

I am often over care professionals getting labeled as evil. People seem to forget that midwifery and obstetrics are actually 2 seperate areas. Obstetrics are taught the bad stuff, they have the 'unnatural' drilled into them because it is their job to fix it. IF something goes wrong they are the ones expected to fix and save the day. so thats what they know. very little of their education is on 'normal' and what happens if things actually go right. Unfortuantly the line between midwifery and obstetrics is blurred, which is why they are involved when they might not need to be.

but yes I agree with you, they aren't all terrible. I'm glad you guys are on the same page about what you need and want =)

[Miss.September]

I love my ob too. So does DH. He's a wonderful, caring provider. I get sad when I read or hear all of them get hit at as a whole. Not all are terrible.

I hope you get to meet your baby over the weekend, Lulu.

[PumpkinZulu]

It's good you've found an OB you feel cared for by and connect with. Everybody is different. Personally, I wouldn't be happy with being told if I present at hospital again I won't be leaving and my waters will be broken, BUT you are totally over it and in a completely different situation, and it seems like your OB gets that and is willing to do what needs to be done to keep your mental well being on track, which is just as important as physical IMO. At the end of the day we have to feel comfortable with and trust our caregivers, and if that's how you feel then you're already winning!

[BellyBelly]

There are definitely good ones out there. And thank goodness we have them, we really need their expertise some of the time. However there are many people having bad experiences, and like any profession it creates feelings about things. How do you feel about politicians? Salesmen? Telstra?! Hearing problems over and over again, bad service, bad products... all produces bad feedback and a general/common feeling about it. Would you trust an Ob who works in a hospital where they do 80% c/s? Or would you worry that you'd end up with one too? Hopefully you've done your homework, picked a good one (not just who your neighbour thinks is good - someone aligned with what you want and actually listens) and checked out their intervention rates, but not many people do this.

These people are venting disappointment over what they felt would be a very memorable moment of their life, for good reason... but with c/s rates like we have, with Obs not following evidence based care, there are going to be unhappy people. All you can do is keep telling the good stories of the good Obs and people will go to them. No point to get upset or angry about people who have had a different experience than you - they are hurting and some have trauma too. As you would know, keeping those feelings down just blows up eventually. And without people kicking up a fuss, nothing changes.

[LuluHB]

Such a pity something positive can't be said about OBs - really in this case one particular OB - without the negative getting thrown in! You are absolutely entitled to your view Kelly, but I really don't think this thread was the place for it. People are allowed to vent their disappointments about their OBs, and I would never go into one of those threads and lecture them on how they maybe should have researched their OB more, or how they shouldn't vent because there are good OBs out there, so please don't now tell me that I should never feel the need to say something positive because others have legitimate reasons to be negative.

FWIW, my OB does work in one of the highest rated CS hospitals in Perth. And yep, I trust him notwithstanding that fact. Nope, I have absolutely no concerns that I'll end up with a CS unless something goes terribly wrong, in which case I'll be even more relieved that I have my incredibly qualified, professional, understanding OB on hand.

PZ - his comment about me not going home again stems from what happened last week, when I stayed for hours and then went home - at his direction. We have discussed my feelings on induction v. natural - having had both he knows that spontaneous is my first preference by a long way - but knows I have lots of other concerns about waiting ITMS.

[BellyBelly]

I wasn't saying you can't be positive, I am saying keep posting about the positive Obs, then they will get more attention, more business and maybe the not so nice/supportive Obs will start to notice.

All you can do is keep telling the good stories of the good Obs and people will go to them.

I'm only allowed an opinion in certain discussions? Really?

ETA: There is a forum especially for venting if you want to start a discussion to vent about people venting You can add a prefix so people know you're venting and you just want to say what you want to say without a discussion as to why this may be. But forums are exactly that - topics for discussion. If you just want people coming in here agreeing with you, then you'll have a thread bashing ob-bashers. Seems counter-productive, but like I said, its the general forums where people wont always agree with each other (even though I think I was agreeing with you that there are good Obs out there. I love some of them!). When I post, I don't expect people to agree with me, that's how I learn - from what other people think, feel and believe. I have spent the last 9 years on here hearing people vent about all sorts of things, its a good opportunity to learn about them and myself.

[PumpkinZulu]

Totally Lulu! That's what I mean! He knows how you feel, so many caregivers (not just OB's) aren't in tune with their patients wishes and needs. He knows how you feel, so he acts accordingly. Like I said, everyone is different, and wants different things. I assume if you said you wanted to go back home, are happy to wait, not in much pain distress etc etc he'd back that too. Sorry of I came across the wrong way, I was agreeing with you

[Miss.September]

However there are many people having bad experiences, and like any profession it creates feelings about things. How do you feel about politicians? Salesmen? Telstra?! Hearing problems over and over again, bad service, bad products... all produces bad feedback and a general/common feeling about it. Would you trust an Ob who works in a hospital where they do 80% c/s? Or would you worry that you'd end up with one too? Hopefully you've done your homework, picked a good one (not just who your neighbour thinks is good - someone aligned with what you want and actually listens) and checked out their intervention rates, but not many people do this.

I took Lulu's post to be a positive thumbs up to her ob, saying that there are good ones out there. And others, including myself, have come in to say, hey that's great, I have a great/good ob too. And then the above statement is made, and the negativity is there, and a debate will begin, when all it was to begin with was a "Woo hoo" on a good experience she is having.

If I started a thread about a fantastic experience I had with a Telstra representative, would the following posts be about bad experiences with Telstra? Or that you could have a bad experience with Telstra? No. There'd probably be a bunch of "That's great" and "I had a good experience too." But because this is about an OB, the negativity will be thrown in.

We know that you CAN have a bad experience with an OB. Everyone is well aware of it. Reminding everyone of that when Lulu is sharing a good experience that would be generally considered outside the norm, well that doesn't really sit well with me.

[nothing2lose]

I agree that OBs generally get a bad rap because of the actions of a portion of them. What that portion is, is open to interpretation. I can only go by my own experience, which was overwhelmingly positive.

I think it's wrong to generalise about any group due to the actions of a few. I wouldn't do it for a race, so why should I do it for a profession (with a few exceptions)???

I also get concerned by the 'us and them' mentality that exists in some quarters towards OBs. Surely to have a good experience with any medical professional, it is better to come at it from a position of partnership and common purpose, rather than combative suspicion.

[LuluHB]

I'm only allowed an opinion in certain discussions? Really?

I think its a common courtesy to actually keep our opinions to ourselves at times, depending on the thread. I type a heap of posts that I never actually submit - I'll read a post and maybe have a differing view so type out my response. Then I'll re-read it and think, you know what? She's entitled to her view and while I disagree, this isn't the place to debate it. So the good old cancel button gets pressed and on I move to something else.

You say that the good OBs should have more said about them, so that maybe they'll get more business and the bad ones will pull their socks up. That's all I've done here, but if a simple thread about how reassuring my appt was gets turned into another attack on OBs in general not much progress will be made.

[LuluHB]

Ok. My "Like" button has disappeared. Am I being punished?

ETA: Apparently not - just impatient.

[Junglemum]

I love my OB. He's a legend. I felt 100% confident in everything that he did. I loved seeing him and felt supported and respected through all three pregnancies and births.

Some of the midwives on the other hand, I was not so impressed with! There are good and bad caregivers in all professions. And yes I agree, I think often the generalizations and sweeping statements about Ob's are unwarranted.

Fantastic that you feel confident that your OB has your best interests at heart. It's a great thing to feel that confidence and support. Where ever you find that, at home, with a midwife, your husband or with your OB it certainly helps the birthing process in my opinion. All the very best for your impending birth.

[nothing2lose]

Ok. My "Like" button has disappeared. Am I being punished?

ETA: Apparently not - just impatient.

At 39 weeks and four days, we will forgive you your impatience

[BellyBelly]

I've not attacked Obs, just stated some facts and reasons as to why these people [the "bashers"] might feel and act the way they do, if anyone is interested in delving deeper than deciding to be annoyed and think all people who don't like Obs are nasty, horrid people. Easier to make peace with it when you understand people and why they do and say the things they do. They are upset/angry - thats their story/journey to sort out. So what makes you upset/angry about it? Why does it irritate you, really, how does it affect you? You have an Ob who you think is awesome, which is wonderful, I am so happy you'll have a great, trusting journey with him... I wish everyone could. But its just not reality, which is why we have enough complaints going around for you to notice - and no other means for these women to debrief in but places like this online community. We can only ever make it better by saying YAY to the great Obs. Unfortunately because so many Obs tried to sue me for members comments on their experiences with me, we no longer have a recommend an Ob forum.

Society creates an 'us and them' mentality, its a widespread thing people do, hard to shift. I never support Ob bashing or would allow it to go on here, but I support being real and having facts - and being understanding and loving to people and their views, even when they're not being so loving. Because s the saying goes... everyone is fighting some kind of battle.

[feeb]

I had an awesome OB and I trusted him 100%. Yes I had a CS but I guessed myself before he told me as I am educated and a mw. Anyone can empower themselves with all the info in the world but not everyone gets their dream birth.

[nothing2lose]

Kelly, I think what is upsetting people are the generalisations about OBs. The idea that ALL obstetricians are somehow bad.

It's an irrational argument. Even a woman that has suffered during her birthing experience due to the actions of one, maybe two OBs cannot, based on her experiences, say ALL OBs are bad.