Bringing Baby Home

I'm so much more worried about coming home with a newborn baby than the actual birth itself. I have no experience with newborns at all.

So what I'm wondering is what did you do when you first got home with baby? The first few days.... Do things continue on as normal, cleaning cooking etc plus all the new baby stuff? Or is it all totally different?

I'm guessing the type of birth you have is a factor too right? After a c-section it's harder to lift things etc so that would make a big difference. Wouldn't it?

Sarah, with my first 2 I came home and had to still do everything. With Joel I walked in the front door and but him down. Mum had picked me up from hospital. The house was a mess and I went and put a load of washing on straight away. With Brandon I only stayed in hospital over the w/end he was born fri night and I came home Mon evening. Mum had been to my house and cleaned it and done all my ironing and stuff. When I got home my ex had decided to move the furniture around and had the loungeroom trashed. I felt like turning around and walking straight back out. I guess it really depends on your partner too. How much they do around the house etc.

With Noah because I'd had a c section Mark had to do alot. I relied on him to do so many things like taking out the washing and bathing the baby. I know that he will be a great help this time too. It helps if you have someone that will cook or do some cleaning for you just til you feel 100%.

You will be right you have your mum right next door and I's sure that Aaron will be a great help too. If all else fails you can always call Aunty Trish for a hand :)

Take care
Trish

Well living with my mum i have it pretty easy. Don't have to cook or do washing etc. But when i first got home, i had no idea what to do with her. She was so content in hospital but when i brought her home, that night, she was sooo unsettled and had a bad case of the runs and then a few days later she got an infection on 3 of her fingers. I felt like a bad mother and thought if id done something different she woulda been a happy bubby. But i soon got over that! Also she has pretty much slept the whole night through since day 4, so she's been pretty nice to me!

Yay for Aunty Trish being close by ;) I can imagine I'll be coming online quite often asking all these crazy questions from you guys.

Thats normal too!! I was wondering what to do with Matilda as well.... but you keep pretty busy at first! The first few weeks are generally dictated by your baby, or hopefully are dictated by bubs. When you sleep/eat/bath etc.... after that things settle down a little bit but it all comes in time. Its crazy. But know that it only lasts a short while & make use of all the support you can get!!! I'll be in Sydney in May!! :)

Yay Aunty Christy & Matilda can come visit ;) We'll have to organise a meetup!

I am sure you will be ok Sarah. I wouldn't worry too much about the household. Just spend as much time with your baby as you can and I have heard that when baby is sleeping that you should have a shut eye too, this way you will be much more relaxed and refreshed when baby awakes.

I have not had a baby myself, and I am sure it is very different then being a nanny to a newborn, but if you ever need any advice or help, I am also in Sydeny, and I don't work so am always available.

Where abouts in Sydney do you live?

Nadine.

I had a week with Kimberley at the hospital but was lucky because when i went home we lived with MIL and i did not have any housework to do other than our room and washing. But after two months we moved out but did everything okay.

Not sure what it will be like this time but i am hoping that i have someone around for the first 5 weeks to help me out.

Things were waaay different for me when I brought Aidyn home.
I was way to tired to cook, and the only sort of cleaning I did was laundry.
I was so completely exhausted and lacking in sleep, so every time Aidyn napped, I tried to as well... - just forget about any housework that needs doing - especially in those first couple of weeks!

Try to make you come home to a tidy house (resort to bribery if need be) cos I totally agree with Trish about coming home to a trashed house.

Apart from that just play it by ear, the first few days can be such a whirlwind I think it is better to go with the flow than fight it by having expectations. Enjoy the ride! Bringing home baby is my most favorite thing in the world. Actually seeing bubs in the bassinett you prepared makes everything so unreal and amazing. (me very clucky again!!)

DH lined up a house cleaned to come the day I was coming home so it was clean when I got home :)

I have told Aaron I want the house nice & tidy when I get home so I don't need to worry about that too much. Mum has also offered to clean if I need it.

Another thing which I think is going to sound totally stupid 8-[ Ok, Aaron has gone back to work, I get up in the morning, bub is awake & I want to have a shower - what do I do with him????

You have 2 choices girl. You either go for one while he's asleep, and yep you can bet your bottom dolloar he will wakke when your in there but thats ok, he can't go anywhere and even if he does start to cry it won't hurt him. OR you can take his rocker in the bathroom with you while you have your shower. Oh yeah, there is a 3rd option. Don't shower til Aaron gets home or have on before he goes to work :)

Your lucky you don't have to protect him form his big brother. Can you imagine Noah if he were left around while I had a shower. I am going to put a lock on the outside of my bedroom door so I can lock Noah out and the baby in.

Take care
Trish

Can you tell I'm starting to freak over the little things 8-[

Sarah I was really worried about this as well and am finding that I am slowly adjusting. At first It was so weird having someone to care for that not much got done. Now I am trying to stay on top of things by doing bits and pieces whenever I get the chance. I try to get up just before she does to shower, and then do so really quickly with the monitor turned up LOUD. The best advice I have had though is sleep when she does, not always easy but a short nap here and there makes the housework etc seem not so much of a problem. Also if you can afford to we get our house cleaned every second week so its only basic maintenance and washing etc that needs doing.

oohh - it's exciting - about 3.5 weeks left ??? could happen any day ...

I was glad to be home, after five days in hospital, I'd had enough.

* Sleep when they sleep is a good idea.
* Don't cry more than they do.
* If you don't like your mums advise, try the 24 hour maternal line. I had trouble getting breastfeeding and all my mother could say was how she starved my brother trying to feed him and that I should use formula

You'll be surprised what you can do.

Barb.

More like 2weeks 2 days Barb 8-[

I didn't know about a 24hr maternal line - is that like the Parents Helpline?

Hey Sarah - you will be amazed at how showers become really short freshening up things. I have babysat for my sister before with her 9month old. Was dead to the world when I got into the shower in the ensuite, 2 mins later when I have shampoo in my hair, this child is SCREAMING!! So needless to say, face didn't get washed, hair didn't get conditioned and was knotty for the day, but baby was happy they weren't alone.
My suggestion would be have a short shower when home alone, and when baby is asleep, and save the good showers where you get to feel clean for when Aaron is there.
Also - shane and I have agreed there will be a time out period everyday when he gets home from work (obviousl a littl bit of flexibility here....) He's promised from 3:30 to 5ish is MY time, and he wil take care of everything except feedng of course. I'm allowed to just walk out of the room when he gets home if I need to. I think this will be fantastic for my sanity! Is there any time Aaron can promise you like that? I'm supposed to use the time to go for a walk, do some sewing, catch up on housework, cook dinner, have a nap.... whatever suits me at the time.
I think I'm a bit lucky!
Fi

yep Sarah there is a place in Sydney called Tresillian which has a 24 hour hotline for parents to phone up....believe me I did with the one in QLD all the time! They can be really helpful. From anything from feeding to sleeping etc, the are a bit old school at times but I would take what they said and decide what to do from there... I often was on the phone to them with Matilda screaming in the back ground...saying"HELP!!!"

Might try that Fi - the time out thing...

Thanks Christy, I think I might track down the number & pin it to the fridge.

Good idea for a post, Sarah! I am pretty much the same - I feel more daunted by the idea of bringing the baby home more so than the actual labour. I am terrified that i don't have all the stuff that I need (though I know I have got more than enough!!).
I had a little tear in my eye with what you said, LuLu - about finally seeing a baby in the things you have prepared. I bet that is an excellent feeling!
I worry about visitors too. I am kind of a home-body and I don't always like having people around. I really enjoy being alone at home for some of the time. I know that when bubs comes, that is going to be impossible! What I mean is, having Neil and bubs around is ok but there's only so much I can tolerate visitors and I just worry that they are all going to stream through the door in the first few days. I don't care about the house being a mess (they can just get the hell over that!!). I dunno... I just wanna be alone with my family for a while. Kwim? I have a sign ready for the door: "Shhh... mother and baby are resting. Please come back another time" so I will use that.
I'm also hoping that I don't get too many visitors at the hospital. I sound like a social-phobic, don't I? Close friends and family I can handle but I don't want people from work turning up! Especially if I am getting the hang of breast feeding etc.
In saying all of this, I know it will probably all go flying out the window and I will wonder where everyone is!
The whole thing is rather daunting!!

I cooked extra meals like casseroles in the last few weeks of pg so I didn't have to bother cooking
I was so excited about bringing Mason home that I cried when we pulled into the driveway. I was more paranoid about Angus being smothered by Mason that I didn't think too much about the homecoming part. I hardly put him down for weeks!
Chill out about the housework. Nobody expects you to be superwoman. I found myself apologising for the mess and my visitors would say What mess don't worry.
DH could take holidays for both bubs so that was fantastic.

Mason woke up while I was in the shower on the 1st day DH went back to work. He must have cried for most of the time I was in there. I got a portable rocker and took him into the bathroom with me and he was fine in there as I could talk to him if he got the grizzles.

Stuff the house work! Although it does bother me when things are messy, so I kept one room of the house that was reasonable enough for visitors, and the rest was trashed until I got to it.....actually I'm still getting to it.

Try not too worry about too much, there is only a certain amount you can control, anyway you might find it easier than you think.

Enjoy the rest of pg, it won't be the two of you for much longer. Then when baby is born jump in headfirst, enjoy the ride, do things your way.
Don't forget you still have time to be rude to people and behave badly, cos they will blame it on being hormonal!

LOL at behaving badly & blaiming it on hormones - I like that ;)

Sarah, I think everyone worries about the shower issue....I use to pop Jack in his pram and wheeled him in with me when I had one.

Bugger the housework.....I say now! At the time, I was in a state as I was trying to run around doing all the normal thngs i use to do and look after Jack. there is no way that you can go back to your normal routine in those first few months unless you are a millionare and have a cook, cleaner, nanny, secretary and chef. Just kick things under the bed for a few months and cook lots of meals to pop in the freezer, also pop some long life milk in the pantry in case you run out and can't face the trip to the shop.

When anyone offers help TAKE IT don't say, no I can manage, every little bit of help, helps iykwim?

Debbie- I understand where you are coming from with your concern about people visiting. They should really phone and make an appt, iykwim? Sometimes they would rock up to see me and Jack at the most inappropiate times that I just felt like crying. It wasn't that I didn't want to see anyone, I just wished there was a little space in between them, and that they would ring first. Having everyone rock up on the same day is a big no no.

Oh and get used to eating cold food.....actually your pretty lucky Sarah, it will still be warm and you can make salads!!!!

One last thing, once you have found your "baby legs" prepare dinner before 2pm, it makes the world of difference, and I'm still doing it now.

Again I have to say how lucky I am that Shane is the clean one out of the two of us. When I clean, I clean really well - skirtings, behind doors, under things etc, but Shane is a sensational quick cleaner.
Thats probably another reason I'm not too stressed is that I know he will look after that side of things. He does now, so nothing will change there!!
Also I love to cook, so I'm looking forward to being able to do baking/cooking for him. And packing his lunch.....
I'm not trying to brag about him - there are so many things we dont do right, but I guess cause I'm that stressed about the labour and anxiety etc, it feels really good to know when I get home he will look after me. There has to be something going for me here, and it certainly aint the neurotic mess I am regarding labour! I'm pleased we have something semi-under-control, and even that is cause his oldest son is 21, and he;s done it all before. With the bad comes the good I guess?

That was a great suggestion about the long life milk!! Maybe I'll put some bread in the freezer too just in case. Times liek these I really need a deep freeze!!
Fi

I stocked up on some food from work before finishing, but I like the idea of the long life milk in the cupboard & bread in the freezer. I have things like lasagnes & family size pies which are really easy to heat up.

I got caught out by the visitors (evil visitors) when Yasin was born but I've thought about it a bit and I think that a good solution is to copy the hospital and have visiting hours. So all visitors are welcome but only at the specified times.

Deb, IKWYM about visitors as I am the same and am experiencing the nightmare now. I know it is nice of people to want to come over but all to often Emily is due to be fed (and I'm not comfortable feeding in public just yet, particularly with family) or has just gone to sleep and I would like to join her etc. I have also found that they love to work out that she is hungry and make noises about leaving but don't actually do so - its like they like to see her fussing more. Fortunatley I have developed an ability to be rude and now say "i'm going to go and feed her" and disappear off to my room. 9 times out of 10 Kev will come down 5 minutes later to say they have left. Another big plus is caller ID on your phone - cause if you don't want to let people know you are home you don't have to answer it.

Ha ha Scarlett on caller ID - I have an answer phone so I'l just screen calls I guess!!
And great idea popping off to your room to feed. That would work relly well except our bedroom is by the front door..... I can imagine people popping in their head to say goodbye on the way out! I can't see why a sign can't go in the front window saying "Visting Hours" so people would have to be reall silly or rude) to knock!!
Fi

Just found a really good article on the main BB site, that might interest you guys that will soon be mummies - Things You May Lose When You Have a Baby.

sarah, with the showering thing, do you have a monitor? that way you wont have to disturb bubs to put in a rocker if they are already in cot, just take the monitor in with you.

i worried as such about bringing Jackson home, because DH is mega domesticated, and i know he will do everything that needs to be done (also because i am having c/s) Also my sister lives a couple of streets away, and my mum doesnt work and i am sure she will be there every minute she possibly can be so that DH doenst have to do all the house work, and has time to enjoy his time off and get to spend if with me and his boy. i have such a helpful and supportive family, is great!

I tried the monitor next to the shower thing, but mainly I would wait until Matilda had been asleep 10 minutes and then go to it... sometimes I would strap her in the pram or rocker if we had to go out somewhere & its okay it just means you have to rush & I love my showers... the other thing is when they can sit up you can take them in with you if necessary :) I love my shower space but if I really need one and have to get out its a good alternative....

My DH is really into his organic vege gardening...and he does it for an hour every morning (6am) and every afternoon (530pm). I love the fresh veges, but I'm not much of a green thumb, and I think he's looking for someone to share his passion with...so we've agreed that he will take bubs out in the sling (gonna get a hug-a-bub) to share the gardening experience with her during these times, and I can have a shower etc. then. Gives him some daddy/daughter time and he can bore her with all his explanations of all his different mung bean varieties etc!

I'm also going to get a professional cleaner in just before bubs is born, and save up enough money to get someone in once a week for the first month or so. Then I can focus on learning to be a mummy!

Hopefully visitors won't be too much of a problem. We moved to the country almost 2 years ago, and haven't made many friends up here. Our house is 20k out of town anyway. Just DH's family up here, and my family will probably come up from Brissy. I'm actually a bit worried I'll be lonely and isolated more than anything...

Juliette, why don't you check out the Networking The Mother "Hood" article HERE on the main BB website if you're worried about being isolated. It might give you some ideas of where to find support once your bub is born....

I think the first few days/weeks at home do depend on the type of labour you have. I was very sore and tired, thank goodness DH was home to do the cooking and washing. I wouldn't have done it otherwise!

We haven't had many visitors luckily and those that have come have called first. When DH goes back to work next week I am going to use the 'Mother and Baby resting... please do not disturb' sign on the front door when I don't feel like seeing anyone.

With the showers, I can't decide whether to have one before DH goes to work in the morning or not. Maybe it'll depend on whether Matthew is awake or not then wanting a feed. Otherwise I think I'll take him into the bathroom with me in his bassinette (it had wheels) when he is sleeping.

You'll get sick of everyone saying,' sleep/rest when the baby sleeps' but that really is the best advice. I find that after 2 weeks I am still quite exhausted during the day and need my rest. Housework can definitely wait and if anyone complains, then I'll hand them the vaccuum!