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This thread is open to those who are either going through or have experienced an ectopic pregnancy in the past. There are a number of complications that can affect an ectopic compared to other pregnancy loss. It is a shock to deal with and the long-term effects can be traumatic (eg, potential risk to life, loss of tube, increased risk of future ectopics).
This can be a place to share how those affected have dealt with an ectopic.
Hi PP - sorry you're going through this. I've been meaning to start this for a while but finally got onto it.
My story:
I've been through a number of losses, from early losses to stillbirth and neonatal death. Last year, I had 2 losses. A chemical in August and an ectopic pregnancy in October. The chemical, whilst disappointing, didn't really phase me as I figure it's Mother Nature doing her job. The ectopic was unbelievable.
The ectopic pregnancy was conceived on my first & only clomid cycle. Apart from having serious depression side effects from the clomid, the ectopic felt like an insult after injury. I started feeling pain about 4wks. I called my FS office and was told it was just stretching pain. I didn't think so. I've been pregnant enough times to know what early stretching pain is. However, when I felt full on stabbing pain and 4+4wks, I thought it may just be a gluten reaction. Happily, I had a GP appointment scheduled for 2 days later. By then, the pain radiated from my right thigh up to my ribs. She referred me to a scan & called the office to let them know I was coming, but also told me to call my FS and he'd get me in to scan me. I called him but he said to call him back the next week. As there was no bleeding, it was probably nothing. I can still remember standing at the tram stop, trying to work out what to do - go home or go to the ultrasound place. I was so scared it was ectopic and that it could rupture at any time. It was late Thursday afternoon and I didn't want to go through the weekend with that pain, not knowing what was going on. My Dh was interstate but he finally called me back and told me to get the scan. Friends told me to get the scan.
I jumped on the tram to the ultrasound place. An hour later, the pregnancy was found in my right tube. Apparently, the rib pain was from internal bleeding. The OB at the clinic called my FS and I was scheduled for surgery the following day. I was 5wks pregnant when my right tube was removed via a lap. I was seriously ****ed off with the universe. Surely, we'd already been through enough horror without my fertility being reduced even further. In recovery, my FS dared to ask me in recovery if I had my dates right...this is the guy who was monitoring my cycle and told me when to trigger! We found another FS. He gave me a photo from the lap - showing the blood clotting out of the tube and the huge mass that was an embryo.
I kept thinking, after all we've been through, what if this baby was finally a healthy one and my dodgy tube stuffed everything up. I was so bloody angry.
Recovery took a few weeks. I was surprised, but later realised, removing an organ is a big thing. 3 of the 4 lap scars have faded but the one above my right tube is still quite red and can feel sore sometimes. It's healed, but i feel it.
I was lucky I'd read some tips the night before the lap about how to deal with it, so I took things very easy. I have a wedge pillow so I was able to sleep sitting up for about a week. A week after surgery, I felt a heap better, so I went and overdid it and ended up flat out exhausted and in pain again. For pain management, I alternated between panadeine forte and ibroprofen.
I'll come back when I think of more. I hope reading this can help others who have been through or are currenty dealing with an ectopic.
Just subbing so I can come back later
PP thinking of you xxx Thanks L&B for the thread it couldn't have come at a better time. I'll add my story when I have time to write it. It's pretty long. So here I am 4yrs later still affected by my ectopic. Other then a few months we have been ttc for over a year now although only seriously since I weaned my 2yr old 3months ago. I'm just so disappointed that I haven't been able to conceive in a normal fashion. I expected it which is why we didn't use contraception after Jay was born early 11 but I still had hope this time would be different. I know take out breast feeding it's only a short time but considering my cycle retuned 18months ago and I know I was ovulating even when BF It certainly feels over a year of ttc and not a hint of another pregnancy. I hate that having a part of my reproductive track removed has now reduced my chances further of falling pregnant again. This time I promised myself I wouldn't get disappointed if it doesn't happen but as time goes on I'm getting more and more depressed about it. I don't want to feel like but I do and find myself wishing I had 2 normal tubes as we know that's what the problem is :(
I'm sorry that we are here after experiencing such a loss.
I had mine nearly 10yrs ago when I was still married to my daughters dad. We had had a mm/c at 12.5wks in the February of '03 and then the ectopic, resulting in the removal of my left tube in August of '03. I don't remember a lot - I remember it being a sunday and going to visit my friend but before I got to her house I felt 'wrong' and came home to use the toilet. I only had a little bit of blood, no real pain but a strange sensation in my right hip.
I don't know what to write - my tube was removed, I have a scar that looks like a C section scar that sometimes itches, I have this fear that I will have another ectopic and lose my last chance of natural conception. This last week I experienced an early m/c and have been frightened that my levels wouldn't drop and the Dr would suspect an ectopic. I didn't think having my tube removed would have such an effect on me but it was the straw that broke my unstable marriages back. I lost the plot - got all my hair cut off. Started staying late after work and drinking with co workers. I resented my husband not being there when I woke from surgery. I have no memory of who looked after my daughter in the days and weeks following the surgery - I assume it was my parents but I don't know. I was angry. So angry. And I ran away from everything and everyone.
I felt like a failure. I enjoyed the physical pain because it was all I could feel and without the pain I would be numb.
Sorry to be such a negative nelly but I can't put it into sentenances that make sense about how I felt regarding that time of my life.
Don't be sorry PP. I've been having a woo is me week after a few BFN. Everything was perfect with timing, I O'd from my tube side etc just rubbing it in that this is going to take time. I'm trying to look forward to other things besides having another baby to distract me from the fact it's not happening. I always get down around 12DPO when I realise I'm not pregnant again but on the bright side I'm happy when AF arrives as its on to a fresh cycle
My bleeding post surgery didn't really ramp up until day3 but lasted for 10days. It was just bright red not clotty like my normal AF is. I do remember ovulating on day17 post surgery and felt very fertile like my body wanted to be pregnant again. We couldn't ttc again straight away as my surgery showed my remaining tube was damaged from PID and endo and I needed more surgery to try and fix it (I had that 10weeks later)
Yes bleeding is completely normal as your uterus lining will shed. With ectopic you get a thickened lining but not like you would with a uterine pregnancy as the beginnings of the placenta develops in your tube also so you usually wont get all the tissue passing like you would get in a m/c.
I was on my ipod so couldn't keep writing.
As for pain relief I used nurofen and panadol. I am allergic to codeine so couldn't have anything stronger prescribed. I had pain relief for the first week and then 3weeks later for another week. I was also on large doses of antibiotics for 3weeks which is what they think contributed to my bowel abcess which became a problem 3weeks post surgery (that was horrific) The abcess definately slowed my physical recovery down substancially.
I was really surprised to ovulate so quickly after the surgery (day 17 and it was confirmed on day21 when I had a scan on the abcess. I normally ovulated on day17 anyway so was surprised my normal cycle returned so quickly)
Not that you asked about this but I couldn't DTD with DH until 1month post surgery and when I finally did I bawled my eyes out and was completely shocked about how it made me feel. I think we even stopped without finishing if that makes sense. We had been ttc for close to 18months and to finally have to prevent and still not have a baby or feel close to getting one was really awful. I have always had a high drive in that area and it took several months to feel ok about doing it again (although I made myself) but during the act was not something I enjoyed. That was really hard on our relationship as that's an area that's really important to me.
After my 2nd surgery we start ttc again straight away at the Drs orders (to make the most use out of his handy work with repairing my remaining tube) he said if we didn't conceive within 6months to try IVF which we were very keen to do. When 6months came around I still wasn't pregnant but by the time we had appointments (allowing for waiting times for appointments) it was 9months of ttc. On the next cycle (10months or 10cycles post 2nd surgery) we conceived our youngest DD naturally the very cycle before our first stim cycle. We were very very lucky as the FS almost put me on the pill for that cycle but decided not to.
I cant remember how long they suggest not lifting things. Probably when you feel ok to do it. Your body is the best thing to tell you if your able to do it and when.
I don't know how long it takes each person to feel normal again. I know for me it was a really long time. Probably when I was mid pregnancy with my baby I had after my ectopic a year later. Having her definitely assisted the heeling process. A lot of how I felt was related to infertility, my losses and the difficulties I had with our ttc journey and feeling ripped off that I was one of the unlucky ones. Unfortunately although we are going ok now DH and I were not a couple that grew stronger through what we went through and it did put a real strain on our marriage for sometime. I had days even a year later and even now when I cry on and off due to my ectopic but then again that is more because of the fact it was a big event in my fertility journey so when I don't get pregnant and there are numerous pregnancy announcements and others can decide to have a baby and have one in their arms less then a year later it just highlights the fact that now that's not going to happen for me which comes back to having the surgery as I do think its been the major contributer in me not been able to conceive again at the moment. I took 8weeks of work and changed my job as a midwife to a theatre nurse as I just couldn't be around pregnant and birthing women at that stage. I did go back to working as a midwife at around 5months post surgery but it was really hard. I'd hid away in the toilet or pan room crying but that did get better with time.
Just wondering what peoples bleeding was like with their ectopics? I am currently been monitored for another ectopic pregnancy and started bleeding on Sunday night. Its now very heavy and very clotty (not like the bleeding with my ectopic were my right tube was removed) I thought I must of been having a chemical pregnancy instead but I just did another HPT and the line came up quickly and is darker then it has ever been so of course I am worried the pregnancy is ectopic again but I am surprised that the bleeding is more typical of a normal m/c.
Yes but not until Friday. They wont give me methotrexate until my HCG is several hundred and on Saturday evening they were 32. Even if they double which I highly doubt they probably wont give me the injection on Friday anyway. Ive been reading on the ectopic pregnancy trust and my bleeding sounds too heavy and clotty to be a progressing ectopic so I can only hope that the HCG is from some tissue I haven't passed. Trying to be more positive and not think the worst.
I hope so PP. The urine I used wasn't FMU but it was concentrated. My line on Saturday was similar to todays in shade but todays come up way faster. On Saturday HCG was only 32 so going on the urine I'd say its still well below 100 but high enough to show a convincing BFP. My bleeding isn't even as heavy as my normal AF but I have had a lot of pain (like my uterus was full of cement and something is tugging hard on my ligaments down there on both sides and a weight on my back) and overnight I had a lot of big clots. So hopefully that's more convincing of an early m/c. Only time will tell I guess.
I didn't have any physical pain when DH and I DTD for the first time after my surgery but it was a month later. I was looking forward to it but when we finally did was shocked at how upset I was about it but that was because for the first time in 1.5yrs we had to prevent and I wanted to be pregnant more then anything in the world at that time so it was a huge reminder that the one thing that could help me get pregnant was not going to do any good if that makes sense.
How is everyone going? For me, those first 4-6 months after the ectopic were really hard. I was so angry and couldnt deal with other people's pregnancies or babies. My EDD for that short pregnancy recently passed. Whilst not really grieving, I still feel angry about it. That baby could have been healthy and born by now.
Something recently occurred to me about a possible cause to my ectopic. I have no idea if it could be related and it's irrelevant now. Anyway, in December 2011 I had pain on my right hand side that grew and grew. My GP sent me for a scan for possible gallbladder problem. That turned out to be ok but the scan was only on the upper quadrant of my abdomen. A month or so later I felt a sharp pain that subsided and that right sided pain never reoccured. In October 2012 I did a Clomid cycle, grew 2 dominant follies on the RHS, triggered, conceived and it implanted in the right fallopian tube. Which was removed through surgery.
In December 2012, we started down the IVF route and had counselling and basic tests in Jan 2013. A scan showed my right ovary was polycystic. Left ovary normal.
What I'm now wondering is, did I have an ovarian cyst back in 2011 that may have burst and damaged something, like my tube? Is that related to that ovary being polycystic? Could a burst cyst cause an ectopic? Would it have made any difference if I'd known?
i dont know. I just sometimes think about it.
This pregnancy was from an OI cycle. Though the instructions said to inject FSH all over the abdomen, I only injected on the left hand side and had 2 large follies there. None grew on the RHS. So maybe that made a small difference.
Hope you conceive again soon PP and have a long and boring pregnancy IYKWIM :)
Yeah clomid increases the chances of ectopic but my understanding was that it was only for that cycle so wouldn't affect your tubes later on. What I find interesting is the majority of tubes removed from ectopic are the right side. I cant remember why that is but there is a reason for it. Most of the people I know have lost their right tubes (including me)
L&B I had this disagreement with the Ob recently as I almost never ovulate from my tubeless side anymore. He reckons I wouldn't know but the times I have had an ultrasound I have never been wrong. I once read somewhere that the tube supplies the ovary with a large percentage of blood supply so once its removed the working capacity of that ovary is reduced so to me it would make sense that as a result you would then ovulate more frequently from the ovary with the tube bearing in mind both ovaries start growing follies and the leading one takes over with the rests been reabsorbed. To me that would make sense that the ovary with the best blood supply would win the race almost every month. I know the tube isn't connected to the ovary so I am sure how the blood supply from the tube also feeds the ovary but apparently somewhere along the line it does.
As for your theory I would imagine a cyst could damage a tube. You would think there would have been some tissue or fluid that could have been left behind in your tube and combined with the clomid cycle may have increased the chances even further.
Anyway no luck ttc for us. Its getting a bit disheartening. I hoped after having a hint of a pregnancy in May I might have been one of these freaky people who conceived the very next cycle. Im now about to O again but both DH and I are unwell and although have DTD don't hold much hope of anything surviving in my body. We have been really struggling with what to do as to ttc again or not. I wish I could give up trying but I know if I don't atleast give it our best I will always feel someone is missing and wished for another baby. I just hope if it doesn't happen I can move on and have closure that it was never meant to be. I hate the thought of my ttc days ending with a few m/c or another ectopic and another few years trying. I'd much prefer to close the book on ttc with the birth of another baby. But apart from that and feeling very unwell I am going well :)
I had a ectopic in dec 2010 I had been bleeding on and off for 3 weeks first I thought it was just af but after 3 weeks it was time to see the dr (didn't have time before as ds4 was only 3 1/2months old) I seen the dr on the 15/12/10 (day before my 24th birthday) she asked if I could be pregnant and told her no we had been using protection and had only dtd a few times (ds4 was a c-section) she asked if I had any pains or anything I said I had had a little crampy feelings twice on the right side just above my hip she asked to do a pregnancy test just to rule it out so we done it and the + came up straight away she said she wants to send me to hospital cause she thinks it's a ectopic but they can do scans and stuff at the hospital so go to the hospital and wait around for 4hrs they do bloods the nurse comes back and says we are keeping you in we can't get a ultrasound now (4:30pm) so will have one in the morning but results have come back and levels put me at about 10weeks so get taken to a ward and nurse up there says they will keep doing more bloods to see what my levels are doing and do a u/s in the morning and go from there the next morning 16/12/10 my 24th birthday I get bloods dne again at 6am them results come back lower then the night before about 11:30 I pass a clot the size of a small orange and end up double over in pain I get pain killers and they do more bloods at this stage I'm still waiting for u/s and they won't let me eat in case I go to theatre 2nd sets of bloods come back higher again dr came and said they are keeping me in again to keep checking levels if they go down in the next 2 lots I can go hme next day 3rd lot of bloods get done at 2:30and they are about the same as 2nd set 4th lot get taken about 6pm and they have risen a little I get told dr will see me in the morning and let me know what's happening Friday morning I get bloods at 6am finally get taken to u/s at 9:30am u/sshows a mass in right tube get another 3sets of bloods done during the day at 5pm head ob comes and see's me and says he wants to operate and remove the tube because his not happy with how my levels are (he was hoping it would pass on its own) he then said his not happy with me having any more kids as I have had 5c-sections in 6yrs and he doesn't like doing anymore then 4 he said he recommend having my left tube cut and tied while his in there so finally the morning of the 18/12/10 I was taken to theatre I remember much after that till the next day I do remember having the worst shoulder tip pain that night finally I was discharged on the 20/12/10 after spending 5days in hospital (felt so much longer ) I had no pain killers from the day of discharge back doing usual thngs day I got home as dh couldn't take time off work at that time of yr and had no family to help
Puzzle solved PP. Your left tube can pick up the egg from the right side or vise versa. As your tube isn't connect to your ovary it is possible for one tube to collect the egg from either side. The tube itself moves slightly and the fimbria (hairy things on the end of the tube closest to the ovary) create a vacuum which basically suck the egg in the direction of the tube. So despite it coming from one side the other side can get it anyway. Also it is very possible that the embie can make it to the uterus but decide to implant in the tube anyway. This is why having no tubes or having IVF does not prevent ectopic pregnancies. Actually with IVF the chances of ectopic are higher still.
Amazing really. That's why they say your chances of getting pregnant following an ectopic aren't reduced by 50% as it is possible for the remaining healthy tube to collect eggs from either side :) It didn't happen for me. My DD3 came from my tube side.
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Hi everyone,
I am new to this thread, having just joined a few minutes ago. I wanted to add my experience to help process everything that's happened over the past 3 weeks. I did an at home pregnancy test one week after a missed period but it came back negative. I went to my Doctor who said I was pregnant but that the development wasn't normal and I had to expect a miscarriage. 2 days later the bleeding started and went on for a further 10. Back to the doctor who was worried I may have an ectopic pregnancy. I was admitted to hospital for 3 nights as my bleeding was heavier and I had shocking pain in my lower left side. But I was discharged after thinking something had 'passed' and my hormone level slowly dropping. However 2 days later, after going back to the hospital for another monitoring blood test they told me my hormone level remained the same and I needed to have a d&c, with a possible laparoscopy (or however it's spelled).
The following day was very traumatic, particularly as I had to have my uterus widened with a suppository beforehand and wait 3 hours before the procedure could happen. My husband wasn't able to wait with me which was also distressing. After I woke up the Doctors told me they had done the d&c and during this accidentally punctured the top of my uterus, as well as undergoing the lap and having found a 'big' fetus in my left tube. I was really lucky that my tube stayed in however the Doctors cannot tell me why it happened in the first place or how functional it will be in the future. They looked in my right tube as well and said it looked perfect which was a relief.
I have been home for 2 days now and go between floods of tears at the drop of a hat, sleeping often in the day and continuing to experience pain. I'm on ibuprofen as I have a strange reaction to panadol.
I'd like to mention that I am living in Germany so am not sure if people's experiences are different with the medical system and their treatment. Though I have to say that the Doctors here did a great job. They just aren't hearts and flowers kind of people. My husband and I had only been trying a short time to get pregnant and are upset about our loss. I think the shock of having the surgery effected me a lot more than what I'd thought. If I only had to have a d&c I feel like I would have been OK. We have no children and I feel really nervous about trying again. We were told to wait a minimum of 3 months before ttc again, so that the lining builds up again. The Doctors were all really positive about us conceiving correctly in the future but still.
I got in touch with a psychologist while I was in hospital and received information about contacts in the community. Even though my German is rather good I feel more comfortable discussing this in English. It's really helped reading all your posts and hearing your experiences.
Wombat I am really sorry for your loss. What a horrific thing to go through.
I also had an ectopic pregnancy back in 2009 and fell pregnant 2010 again and went on to have my daughter in 2011. My tube was removed and the remaining one was damaged from the outside (cant tell what the inside is up to) so that's great news your other tube looks good. Combined with the fact this time it didn't take too long to get pregnant fingers crossed when you feel up to trying again things happen quickly and smoothly. It wont stop the pain from this time but it does help to move forward IMO when you have another baby. Like you I had to wait 3months in which time I had a second surgery to repair my remaining tube and flush it and then it took 10months to get pregnant when we started trying which was pretty good for us as we have fertility problems prior to the ectopic anyway.
:
Thank you Mildez. It's posts like yours that give me hope. I am off to the doctor this afternoon to get my stitches out. Hoping the discomfort settles down soon.
I have had 4 pregnancies.
I was diagnosed with endometriosis in 2011 and had a surgery to correct it.
Anyway
I had 1 m/c in 2011 at estimated 4/5 weeks
1 live birth in 2012 at 37 weeks
1 abortion may 2013
Just had my first ectopic and am going to get methotrexate injection today. With this one my progesterone and hcg levels were very low. Should be about 8 weeks today had my first ultrasound and had a gestational sac measuring about 5 weeks in my tube. Hoping the methotrexate works....don't want surgery
Sam I am sorry to hear about you needing the methotrexate I hope it worked for you and you were able to avoid the surgery.
Wombat how are you going?
Hello everyone, do you mind if I join in?
I've had quite the ride over the past year, which somewhat pinnacled this week.
Last March, I was 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I noticed that I hadn't felt bub move for a little while. I didn't think much of it as we had just had a scan and Doppler the day before and everything was tracking along perfectly, and I'd had zero complications throughout the pregnancy. I was healthy and so was bub. I was in the "waiting game" zone of my pregnancy.
When I woke up the next day and I noticed no movement again, we decided to go to the hospital to get checked out. There began the most difficult year of our lives. With a few small words, a room full of people and a long uncomfortable silence, our lives shattered into pieces and I faced the reality of giving birth to my daughter still.
48 hours later, after a 5 hour labour, she was born easily and we cried many tears.
Since her death, the last year has been somewhat of a blur of highs and lows. I've had cervical laser treatment, I've been in and out of hospital and doctors to have every test you can think of, all of which came back perfectly, we've organised a funeral, and landscaped and built a memorial garden, we've fundraised for SIDS and been introduced to heartbreak beyond anything we could imagine.
So you can imagine, we were pretty excited to get some happy news when finding out we were pregnant a few months after we were given the all clear after cervical surgery for an abnormal pap, in December last year. After feeling a bit anxious for a few weeks, on Xmas day, I spent the night in hospital after the bleeding began. Boxing Day (my birthday) my miscarriage really ramped up and I toasted the year 2013 away with a lovely bottle of red, after losing our second bub.
January was a mix of emotions but with a second loss came a sense of resilience, perspective and strength. I reconnected with nature, with food, with painting and with the joy of life. After 9 months since our stillbirth, I finally felt like a stuck back together, better version of myself again.
Excitedly, we became pregnant again in February (seems we don't have trouble with that bit!), and I felt a lot more confident and calm this time. My symptoms were strong and this reassured me! I felt better than ever for the journey ahead, and felt like I was in a good place to handle the pregnancy ahead of me.
On Tuesday morning (I was six weeks pregnant), I lay in bed feeling pretty ordinary with what I thought was morning sickness. Then the dull pain started in my right abdomen, and I automatically knew. I called hubby when I couldn't move off the bathroom floor as I tried to bring my fever down on the cold tiles. I asked him to come home and pick me up and take me straight to hospital, which he did worriedly and they found I was bleeding internally and my tube had ruptured. My blood pressure was 70/49 and they rushed me straight into surgery, which extended to a two day stay. I'm home now and feeling pretty resilient after everything we've been through, but also quite aware from our past losses that things will come up later, unexpectedly, and probably amplified by the approaching 1 year milestone of losing our daughter.
What a story! Sometimes I read it and think "is this really my life? What a bloody great movie this would make!"
We have gotten through these hurdles with a lot of hard work, love and support around us, determination to not let the enormity and anger take over, tenderness for each other, hours of counselling and journaling and really tough self development and some more hard work :) I forget how hard I have worked to get here. It's not easy staying on track and stay strong whilst letting yourself feel the devastation and all the other emotions and reactions that come up when you get thrown so many curveballs.
I'm told my fertility shouldn't be affected and my other tube looked healthy, as did my ovaries. I have endometriosis so that's a slight issue, but I'm being referred to my specialist again and we'll tackle the whole Summery story :)
I was just talking to hubby about it, asking how he is (he got a real fright this week) and he said he feels like now this is our normal, and so it's not shocking anymore when we have to deal with something. Repeated exposure to trauma and disappointment over a year has made us super resilient and maybe abit numb. We know what to expect, what sort of feelings that approach and leave, and we are good at measuring our energy and observing our bodies and minds as things come up.
Can anyone relate?
There's no real point to my post other than to reach out and say hello, and share my story. I have a strong urge to share my story now, I feel like a wealth of knowledge and experience on all things womanly and challenging now! Funnily enough, I'm in a line of work that sees me building others capacity and resilience so it seems fitting that my journey has been full of hurdles.
Thanks for listening :)
Wow summary. What a story or should I say what a reality. I'm a bit lost as to what to say. My journey with ectopic and loss is different to yours however I just wanted to reassure you that I have conceived twice after losing my right tube. Once the egg was from my right ovary, the drs reassured me that the body was an amazing machine and that it's wasn't as two dimensional as we grow up believing and that yes one tube can just flip around and catch an egg from either side!
Hugs for your many losses and the pain of not being able to hold your tiny loved ones. Your husband sounds amazing and I am glad that you are in this together. I do hope that you are holding your rainbow baby as soon as possible
Thanks Tegam...losses are all relative, and are all hard no matter what we all experience. Hugs to you for your losses too, I'm so sorry we have to meet under this circumstance. I'd be really keen to hear your story if you felt like sharing.
Almost a week on now! The last week has been a blur but my recovery has been really good and today, I almost feel normal again. I very very luckily got a cancellation appt for my specialist on Wednesday, which is so good as if this didn't come up I would be waiting until September. He'll hopefully come up with a care plan for next pregnancy and explain some things to me, answer some questions. My pain is gone now and I feel 2grams lighter on the right! Hehe.
Hi summery,
You asked for my story but I'm unsure it will be very sensitive.... I have four healthy bubs and one on the way. I had a missed miscarriage at 12weeks after DD1 that I still to this day am shocked at how badly I took it, the devastation will never leave me, but now I feel that I can better relate( in a small way) to people that have had losses.
My ectopic was after my third child. It's was poorly managed by nearly everyone involved, I had to discharge myself from one hospital and present to another only to rupture as I went into theatre. Again at the time I didn't understand why but now after a few years I can see how it changed me.
Again I am so sorry for your losses, I wish there was someone that could take away your pain and more then anything I wish you could fast forward to the day you have your take home baby in your arms. I do understand that feeling of 'I don't want to be that person' but if there is any place that you can be yourself, and talk openly its here on Bellybelly, use the support here, tell your story. Tho only give of yourself what you can, sometimes you can get Beverly bogged down in everyone else's sad stories. So at this precious time, be selfish, take what you need and give only when you can!
Always an ear here too if you want to pm me :)
Hugs
Ps I tried to send this as a PM but your inbox is full
Thanks Tegam ;)
Again, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. It really does make an impact when things aren't dealt with right medically. My experiences at our little local hospital have been so positive, but I've heard some horror stories! It doesn't make the pain of losing a pregnancy any easier to feel isolated in your experience and to feel like people aren't listening to you. It sounds like you had a really disappointing experience :(
Thanks for the offer of support! Not to worry, we've been in counselling (and am very open and proud of the fact!) since my daughters death and SIDS and Kids gives me unbelievable support too. I don't know how people go through any level of loss without some really structured support and therapy, it's too much to bear and to deal with alone. I come on the forum to reach out too, but I'm well supported with an amazing hubby, really sensitive supportive friends and the best family I could hope for that rally around us always. The ectopic has been such a weird, crazy blow that we weren't expecting that I find comfort in hearing other people's experiences as this is still a new phenomenon for me! I'm also in full research/reading mode on my new favourite topic, so anything I can learn from women who have walked in the same shoes is a good thing!
So thank you for sharing your story, I really appreciate it ;) xxx
I put a lot of benefit of my good fertility down to acupuncture if you want to give something new a try :)
Thanks Tegam! I'm already onto it! If anything, during this pregnancy it really helped just keep me calm and release tension. It's quite amazing, isn't it? I have no idea how it works but it works!
I'm booked in again for a few weeks :)
Summery I am so sorry to read what you have been through. Tegam congratulations of your pregnancy. Hope everything is going along perfectly. I just found out I am pregnant again for the 9th time. Given my history I don't know how things are going to pan out. I'm nervous and want this baby so much but am so worried/scared it will be ectopic again. I haven't tested again since 12dpo (only 14dpo) today. I am not home so thought I'd test again when I get home on Sunday. I have a Dr appointment on Monday. I have a lot of left sided pain already. It's the right tube I am missing and I know my left tube is damaged. I don't know what to do with a scan. Do I book in as early as I can to try locate where bub is knowing I won't see a HB or do you wait another week to see a HB and risk not diagnosing an ectopic early?
Hi guys, hope everyone is well! Congratulations mildez! All going well for you?
I'm wondering if any of you experienced longer cycles after your ectopic...before my daughter, I was 35 days. After birth, I went back to 30 days, give or take 1 day. Since the ectopic, it now looks like I'm 34-35 again (just waiting for my period to arrive now, on CD 33)
Did anyone experience this too?
No summary I just returned to normal. Hope someone has a better answer for you...