Enlighten me please

I am currently having another stupid argument with my SIL (again!)

She is of course an experr as she is already a mother, and of course I know nothing.

Now basically, I am not going to do anything to put Junior's life at risk.

She however says that this is not an illness and I should not do anything differently. She says it is perfectly safe to p lay contact sports, go jetskiing, skiing, etc. :eek:

There is no way I would do any of those things, nor will DH let me.

Would love your opinions please.

I agree that it's not an illness, but I don't think I would go jetskiing!!!

I agree with Kelly it's not a illness you just have to do somethings a little different.

I wouldn't Play contact sports, go jetskiing, skiing but then i don't when I'm not pg LOL
So do you do contact sports, jetsking and skiing ?
Also with contact sports what kind of contact sport are you talking about ?


I know some girls play netball when pg.

another point is, she is saying that babies cant die from being hurt. They is nothing you can do to lead to miscarriage and nothing you can do to prevent it.

I agree with your sister - but we are all different and our acceptance of risk is different.
Generally the rule is you shouldn't do anything that you weren't doing before you fell pregnant with regards to exercise. So I completed a pretty tough and rigourous preseason for netball this year, so I had no problems playing netball competively this pregnancy till I was 12w. I umpired to 19w.
So my body was used to it - it didn't have any problems keeping on going, and when I did have problems, I sure knew about it!! (Strained ligaments, out of breath etc).
I personally wouldn't do anything that exerted extra forces on my body like skiing, water or snow, fast boating or an extreme sport. Thats just a little risky in my mind - but everyone is different!

ETA - when I had my m/c my GP told me a friend of hers who is a dr lost her baby at about 10w the day after a tough netball game. Its pretty true that you can't cause a miscarriage by playing netball (unless you get a good thump in the guts in your secnd tri) but apparently even that dr couldn't stop blaming herself for it. You just gotta be sensible andknow when enough is enough. Everyone is different.

Yeah I agree. I have a very physical job with heaps of lifting & restraining animals and sometimes I just "know" that it is too much for my body. When I was pregnant with Matilda I was sitting on top of large rottweilers worried about what would happen if I fell off while we were trying to do something. BUT I think you have to be the one to judge what your body is capable to handling. In one sense you can't predetermine whether or not you will m/c. But in another you do need to protect your babies life & yours ;)

I went riding while I was pregnant with Yasin before my bump was showing but I took it easy and I love riding so I was fairly confident of my ability to saty on a quiet horse.
I think that you should stick to doing what you're comfortable with. Your SIL obviously has a differant comfort zone than you and its knid of insensitive of her to try and push you into her zone.
Its great to get some excercise while you're pregnant but you should stick to the options that aren't going to stress you out. I found that a round of golf was a nice gentle option for excercise when I was pregnant.
Your SIL isn't quite correct that there is nothing you can do that can lead to miscarriage - a blow to the stomach would definately hurt bubs and it could casue placental abruption. Raised body temperatures can also cause problems.

I played netball when pg with Paige until 13 weeks and then the comp ended anyway. I have also water skiied when pg with Lindsay at 27 weeks pg, but again I was damn confident in my ability not to fall off or get hurt. Around the farm I have also still actively helped out with livestock and again I was confident and knew what my limitations were. I wouldn't reccomend to everyone to do what i have done, but trust yourself and your instincts and you will be fine.

If you didn't play contact sports, do jetskiing, etc before you were pg then obviously it would not be wise to start them up while pg! But if you did play sport or do other exercise beforehand then it is ok to continue, or maybe continue but take it a bit easier. My sister has always worked with horses, ridden horses, been in comps and all that and when she was pg she continued to ride as her doctor told her it was ok. Obviously she took it easy and didn't take any unnecessary risks. Myself, I have never been sporty or horsy so I don't do these things while pg either!

I am not sure about the m/c thing - I have read of instances where m/c has been caused by something, usually out of the mother's control, like a car accident or being injured, but then of course there are the cases where there is no reason - it just happens. I will always worry in the back of my head about it happening, can't help it even though it has not happened to me before, but at the same time I do not want to wrap myself up in cotton wool either.

I wouldnt do those things either, whether theyre perfectly safe or not. Theres still a risk involved and i dont want to be the one feeling guilty if something was to go wrong. Its the same with the foods you have to avoid during pregnancy. I maybe a little anal but id rather be for 9 months of my life and know that my baby is perfectly fine that do or eat something and my baby to be harmed because of it. If other people see differently then thats my choice and thats their problem.
Thats my opinion anyways ;)

Well it may not be an illness, but this week it certainly is feeling like one! :(

I was quite willing to keep playing soccer when we were discussing TTC, but once I was actually pg, I felt very different about it. I play physically and have copped more than a couple of hits to my tummy in my time playing so I wouldn't have continued playing after all (an ankle injury put an end to those thoughts anyway).

On the other hand, we're going to Tokyo Disneyland in two weeks and I'll be going on everything. There are no rides that give impact to the tummy, the worst I'll get is a bumpy ride, which is really no worse than my bus and train ride home!

oh, well a lot of rides (even moderate rides) say pregnant women should not ride. Hence the reason we are cancelling our trip to qld :(

Danni we recently went to Seaworld and every ride bar the kids ones says "It's not recommended to ride if you are pregnant". They have to say that to avoid litigation. Of course I am not suggesting that every ride would be perfectly safe, I certainly avoided the rollercoaster but I did go on the tamer ones. Of course at the time my belly was not as big as it is now, I think if I had a big belly I wouldn't have gone on anything, because I wouldn't have been comfortable if I could even fit!

Danni, you decide what your comfortable with...

I didnt know with Maddy that I was preg til about 15ish wks & I was gewtting all around bali on motorbikes & did a pushbike riding tour with annoying yanks (but that's another thing).. With Maddy it kinda happened that i was preg & well as it happened so easily I took it for granted that I was gonna have a healthy baby (never thought anything other than that).

Til trying for over a year to make a baby & then a miscarriage made me really realise it can happen for no reason & so once I was carrying Indah i felt like I did wnat to be wrapped up in cotton wool til I was holding a healthy baby again...
I was super over protective of my tummy & I wouldnt do anything that jeopardised my baby...
Even though I had a bad fall a day after her due date & she still wouldnt come out, that is besides the point, she's still stubborn!

But you do what's in your comfort zone... And yep having just come back from QLD, most of the rides did say unsuitable for pregnant women..... ETA: SNAP Bon!!!!!

I remember I went jetskiing when I was prob 3/4 mths pg with Joshua. I had a little bump cos I remember I got sunburnt a bit on my belly. I didn't go crazy on the jetski, just kinda puttered around.

In normal day to day activity there is nothing you can do in your first trimester to cause a miscarriage. This includes intercourse, lifting, physical activity (as long as it is within the scope of what you were doing pre-pregnancy and your doctor hasn't banned them for specific reasons). The uterus sits below the pubic bone. It is a thick, muscular organ at that stage and stuck behind a bone for additional protection. Many women feel guilty that they have done something to cause a miscarriage but this is rarely the case. It is true there is nothing that can be done to prevent an imminent miscarriage.

In the second trimester and beyond, the uterus thins as it stretches and pops above the pubic bone. Direct trauma at this stage can result in yucky things happening (placental abruption, uterine rupture etc) but they are still relatively rare.

Physical activity should be done to your comfort zone ie don't start running marathons at this stage if you weren't before but your body will also let you know what you can and can't do. I was going to the gym while pregnant and found as I progressed my level of comfort changed and so did the activities I did. The seated bike became a no go due to the movement of my knees near my belly. You just need to keep your pulse rate below 140bpm. One of my friends was going to the gym and doing weights the day before she delivered (she is slightly mad and is very physically fit so this was not new to her)

BUT for my next pregnancy I have no idea what physical activity I will be comfortable with. Just say to your SIL that while what she says may be correct you need to do what will make you comfortable during this pregnancy. Thank her for her advice but let her know that for you the best thing to do at the moment is X, Y and Z.

Totally agree with what the others have said, and just wanted to add, I got the feeling that this was a very much wanted pregnancy for you guys? So I think it is perfectly fine for you to want to take precautions, and she should understand that.

Dannii, I think that you can look at this a number of ways and ultimately it is your personal decision what you do. They say it's ok to keep up a level of exercise similar to your pre pergnancy activity, so if you were pretty fit and active before getting pregnant then it's ok to keep it up - although you may feel you need to take it easy anyway. However it is hard to say what activities may be risky in terms of harming the baby. For me personally I was reasonably active previously - gym plus trained in martial arts pretty seriously. When TTC I told my instructor I wasn't going to do anything involving contact - esp sparring and now I am pg I've decided to only do very low impact stuff, do some teaching and pretty much not train till after 12 weeks and then I'll only do non contact stuff at a less intense level. I still plan to go to the gym but doing shorter and less intense workouts. That's my personal decision.

Now as far as your SIL goes - it's hard to say what is correct. Often m/c's are unforunately due to some problem with the baby although some medical conditions can predispose a person to having them. However I don't think I would want to cop too many knocks to the stomach or do something where there is a risk of serious falls. However you've heard froma number of women who played competitive sport, went skiing etc with no problems. A girl at work who is a snow skiing addict went skiing in the first trimester and is now 34+ weeks with a healthy baby.

I think that it is ultimately up to you what you choose to do and it's got nothing to do with what your SIL says. I agree with Michelle's post esp the last paragraph, Talk to your SIL about what you feel and make your own choices for your pregnancy.

ok she doesnt know how long we have been trying for this baby. She has taken all of her pregnanies for granted and her children have been "accidents". theres the first difference.

Im not sitting on the couch wrapped in cotton wool but im certainly not looking for risks.

thanks everyone for your replies.

Danni, I can understand where you are coming from. We have all had different experiences while we are pg and it is only natural that you want to protect that little baby inside you. I probably wouldn't do the water skiing again, but it is not something I would even have attempted had I not already been experienced at it.

Do what feels right for Danni and you will be OK.

With #2 we had a full on summer at the lake water skiing, I can't ski anyway only biskit so I stoped that for a summer and drove the boat instead,The last trip we did that summer I was three weeks off my due date the worst bit was trying to get comfy at night.
Most people know their limits if your body say yes then I see no reason to stop its each to thier own.

I personally would never do anything risky. I just errr on the side of caution. It took us along time to get pregnant with Gemma and there was NO WAY i was doing anything like water skiing!

Everyones different though and I know it has been a long bumpy road for you guys ttc Danni and you'd expect that you'd be cautious!

Danni - Listen. You've waited a long time for this precious little baby, and I completely understand that you would never do anything to put it's life in harms way. Do what you think is right for you and the baby. If you do that, that's all you need to know.

Love Celsie. xoxox

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I agree with your sister - but we are all different and our acceptance of risk is different.
Generally the rule is you shouldn't do anything that you weren't doing before you fell pregnant with regards to exercise.

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But Im a kickboxer and we regularly get kicked in the stomach (behind a kick sheild of course but you still feel it). This concern me as when we start TTC I would be worried about injury but I dont want to stop if Im not pregnant :confused: Just sticking my two cents anyway cause Im no expert ;)

Check my previous post but until the second trimester the uterus is in the pelvis and protected by the pubic bone. Women manage to do many amazing things before they know they are pregnant with no adverse outcomes.

Danni - when we take so long to get the baby we desire and are on the verge of IVF etc we are bound to be more cautious. Whatever you choose to do will be the right thing for YOU and that is the only person who matters. If people say you can do X but you don't want to just say yes I know I can but I choose not to. Not everyone will understand your position but that is their problem.

Danni, Just adding we are goin to the gold coast in November and im not cancelling it, im not a big ride person anyway but remember this may be the last time in a long while before you get to holiday alone with DH, you should go if not to just relax and enjoy each other's company, its not all about the rides, there is lots to do!!!! think about it hun!!

Danni, I have to butt in too. I do believe that miscarriages can happen with you doing the whole "perfect" resting thing and, although MiL is convinced hers occurred after moving a nest of tables, I managed to help fit a bathroom when I shouldn't have been. Although I wouldn't recommend it!

I also still do the odd bit of running, although no more hi-impact aerobics or kick-boxing exercises (not even against other people, just the exercises); but bear in mind I found out at 7w5d and at 7w4d was doing sit-ups because I thought I was putting on a little bit of fat around my stomach and still doing all my exercises.

However, that's my comfort zone. I would say DON'T take up things like running or aerobics if you don't already do them and it's your pregnancy, you decide what to do.

I ruled out horse-riding and skiing as soon as I found out (and still went to Austria!), other people may not have but I didn't want to take too many risks. If you're not comfortable going running, then don't. The stress you'd feel over the running is probably just as bad as anything else you can throw at the baby, so sit back and chill all you want. My DH would be wrapping me in cotton wool a lot more if he could, I know that, but I also know what my body's saying to me and pay attention to that: I'm sure all women do the same!

Hi,

There is absolutely no way i would do any of those things either.

Danni, basically :p to your SIL - you do what you are comfortable with. I'm sure you're not just lying around going "ooh I'm pregnant I can't do a single thing" but at the ohter extreme I'm sure you weren't planning on jetskiing either! Do what you feel comfortable with - if that's just gentle walks, watching what you eat & enjoying every second of it, DO IT! Sadly as soon as you fall pregnant everyone is an expert & you'll be stuk with oodle of unwanted advice like this.

LOL, I've fallen over helping at my church youth group playing a game, I'm just too competitive! :o (I did win the game I fell over in though)

My dr said no to bike riding, but that's because I'd only got my bike for Christmas (concieved early Jan) and my skills were definately at a level that put me at risk :p I don't think I'd really ridden since year 8?

Honestly, ditto to what everyone else has said. The baby is pretty well cushioned in there, but that's no invite to take up Russian Stick Fighting (okay, I just made that sport up). Just do what you're comfortable with, and check with your dr or something if you're not sure what's safe.
All the best! :)

I agree with Sarah - I'd tell your sil to #@!* off!! hehehe.

I'm very protective of my belly as soon as I find out I'm p/g and I think whether you've accidentally conceived or it's taken 2y as soon as you have the knowledge that your p/g you would do anything to protect your baby.

In all of those sports you listed you have the potential to really hurt yourself and therefore harm your baby. I wouldn't be doing any of them.

I do respect everyone elses responses though in which they've done some sports etc because they were experienced and very comfortable in that sport.

Don't let her make you feel bad about it! (sounds like a very troublesome sil to me...)

Danni,

Your SIL has to remember that this is your pregnancy and you decide what's OK and where the boundries are.

I'm only about a week ahead of you and my little bub is already making us change our next 2 holiday plans (SCUBA in the Carribean in October and Skiing over new year). I would never risk having a fall at 5 months and rupturing something trying a tough run but with diving, there's no eveidence that it can harm an unborn baby, they have no air cavities after all, but there's not been any research in the area either, so it's better to be safe than sorry and just snorkel the reefs.

Pregnancy is only 9 months of your life (per baby) so how hard is it to sit out a few of the riskier activities for that time and resume them in the future....geez I'm going to miss diving!!!!

I think each women should do what she thinks is best for her - and be informed of course as well. I know most men and women think I am mad when I tell them I continued to run almost every day up until my son was born - I also lifted light weights, and cycled and swam a bit too. But I am a very fit athlete and although I did not run any marathons I was comfortably able to run 6 days a weeks up to 80kms a week - of course this was down to maybe 30kms by the time I was 36 weeks pregnant. I also did a 5km 'fun run' when I was 35 weeks in a very resonable time and felt just fine - much to the disbelief of spectators.

I gave birth to a very healthy little boy. I took care of myself and IF I EVER felt I was starting to overheat or just too out of breath, I stopped and walked.

10 days after giving birth I was ready to start slowing running again. It is just a part of my lifestyle - I am a competitive athlete. Now I have discovered triathlons and our home is a typical triathlete one - bikes parts everywhere, swim gear hanging in the shower constantly, windtrainer in the spare room, smelly running clothes ready to be washed EVERY DAY as well as the constant question from my son ' are you sweaty again mum?'
and I would not have it any other way!!

I wouldnt do anything that i didnt do before.I was riding a bike but i stopped around 4months as i did get the bit of the guilts and it was hard with DD on a bike seat on the back.She'd wriggle and then id get the wriggle ups!!

Hi Danni - I agree with the othe girls, it is your body and baby, not your SIL, so tell you where to go (possible where the sun doesn't shine??)
I have it a little different to the others, whereby I am restricted to activity from the word go.
(I wont go into detail, but have had alot of trouble with all past pregnancies with going into preterm labour, and bleeding etc) But that is just me, and it has been restricted on my obgyn's orders.
I can still exercise, but only the gentler options like walking, swimming etc without problems, but kicking the ball around the backyard with the kids, and running about, have all had to slow right down , as I get pain, and get really short of breath already.
As long as it is your regular excercise, and you feel comfortable, making sure you are well hydarated regularly, there should be no problem. However, I would really think hard about wether you are willing to risk anything that is body contact.
You know what you are comfortable with in your heart, so dont take your SIL too much to heart hun. :)

Trust your instincts and listen to your body, recognising your own abilities. My last horse ride was at 27 wks. I know my own horse, I rode in a fenced arena, stopped jumping, no paddock rides (cos less controlled environment) and only stopped then because I then diagnosed SPD - mounting and dismounting became untenable, but had I been lifted on I would have been fine! My belly wasn't very big and never got in the way.
My point is that on some level you ought to know when you've reached your limits for you and the baby.
I copped a lot of flak for turning out to a car accident with my fire brigade because I was about 7 months pregnant. I had stayed home for other jobs and figured that if there weren't enough members there to crew a truck (it was Easter Sunday) then I'd get on and be of some sort of use. I actually did a couple of things at the scene that were non-physical and often overlooked aspects of car accidents (offering counselling to witnesses), and the knockers were all people who weren't at the scene to judge my suitability for the job anyway. The crew on the truck all said that they weren't worried because they figured if I felt up for it, who were they to judge unless I was being reckless?
Listen to yourself - and trust what you hear!