Do you co-sleep?

Okay so I never thought I'd ever let my child sleep in my bed. My first 2 daughters didn't but then I believe that every child has different needs. Regan is a restless sleeper and I tried putting her in her cot but she never ever slept through the night. She always slept better in my bed and never got distressed. I refused to control cry. Every one "tuts" and tells me that I should have her in her own bed. Other people tell me how their "good" baby sleeps in their own cot etc etc. I just feel so alone co-sleeping with my daughter. But she never gets distressed and she sleeps so wonderfully and honestly it isn't a problem for me or my partner. Why is it people make me feel like I'm doing something so wrong but yet it feels so right for me. I try not to listen to the well meaning advice from friends, family & professionals but it can be hard when I feel so bombarded. For those who co-sleep/slept with their babies what age did you make the transition to their own bed?

FOr a start don't listen when they give you advice.Every bub is different like you said. I to never thought I'd be into co sleeping but like Regan, Gemma is a restless sleeper. That said only now at 12months has she started sleeping in her own bed again. Gemma has co slept since she was 6months. It was always something, teething, gastro and it was easier when she was sck for her and us for her to be close. Even now she may sleep in our bed from about 3am onwards, but only when teething or sick now not so much just for cuddles!!. So your not alone. I couldn't do the c/c thing either. It made me anxious and sad.

lee-ann i have co-slept with all my bubbas from when they are newborn until they decide they would like to move into their own bed. usually this is around 2 and a 1/2 to 3. my middle son still sleeps on a mattress in our room because he only feels safe there and he is 8. i go with the flow. well done on listening to your child's needs. it is so lovely to hear with all the crap about CC and 'sleeping on their own' and 'self settling/soothing', that's what mumma's are for. good on you.
beckles

We co-sleep with Maggie. Most nights she starts off in the cot and I will normally bring her to bed with the first waking after I have gone to bed. I do actually enjoy it, especially when DH is away. It is nice having her there. Saying that though we are thinking of when and how to move her. She really hates the cot, I can only put her in there once she is asleep, so we are thinking of a junior bed. We might pick one up in a few months and see how she goes.

Yasin had his hammock beside our bed but he finished most nights in our bed until he moved into his own bed when he was about 15 months old. We got a double so that even though he had his own bed we could still co-sleep with him when needed. Most nights that DH is home he will sleep in Yasin's bed from about 3am onwards. So now he's 2 (in about a week) we still co-sleep with him but in his bed not ours.
Imran sleeps in our bed for his night sleeps and the plan is that he will stay there until he moves into his brother's big bed and then they will co-sleep with each other. Its one of those trio bunks with the double on the bottom (really low and close to the floor in case of falls) and single on the top and the plan is that when they get older and don't want to share a bed we will put the ladder on it and one of them will have the top bunk.
I love co-sleeping and I'm going to miss it so much when my babies don't want to sleep with me any more.
It seems like the most normal and natural thing in the world to me that a couple should want to keep thier babies close to them. Of course its not for everyone but it seems so silly that those who do it should be criticised for it.
I agree that Sleeping Like a Baby is great book (even though I don't 100% agree with Pinky's opinions on dummies - then again I've never read a book that I agreed with 100% lol). It has heaps of interesting information about co-sleeping and gentle options for settling babies and toddlers.

mine still come into bed with me every morning chloe, even the 11 year old for a snuggle. i love it.
beckles

It's a pain isn't it when everyone thinks our doing something wrong or strange! We gathered heaps of info about co-sleeping to throw back at them but I can't rember any of it now.

We put DS down for naps in a cot and we then would put him in his cot for the first few hours and bring him into bed when he woke for his first feed. When he was 1 we put him into a single bed with a rail and we would go in and lie down with him there, he would usually call out and as he got older wander in about 1-2am. At 3 we would let him settle with us and then carry him back to bed and he would wake up in his own bed, now he occassionally comes in abou 5:30 - 6am and lies with us before we get up. There is a great book called the no-cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantly which is excellent at tackling sleep issues with cosleeping and attachment parenting

We only co-sleep now when she is unsettled. She has had a tummy bug at the moment, so if her being in bed with us (and us being kicked as a result!) is how we can all get some sleep, we go with it.
Generally she is good til about 2-4am, and then DP will take her into the spare bed which is a queen, and they sleep there.
As a newborn to about 6m he slept with her all the time cuase he just loved it. I admit now I wish I'd done it a little more when she was little cause she doesn't wriggle anywhere near as much as now!

My sister had big sleeping issues with hers, but I dont think that was through co-sleeping, more the fact they grew up in Japan where they all slept in one room on the floor. The girls at 7 and 4 had never really slept in beds, so when they moved back to NZ at the start of this year they had a terrible time for about 3-4 months.

I dont feel bad about co-sleeping, but I do wish she would sleep through without us more often. Its slowly getting better though.

Kynan cosleeps with us when he needs to, quite a lot when he was little but he doesn't need it so much now. Whenever he's sick or unsettled it's into bed with us and he sleeps so much better. He also snuggles up in bed next to me for his morning BF and we often fall asleep together then too. I think it's just beautiful! And at 16.5 months old he still sleeps in his cot in our room too.

Oh yeh I should ahve said thats the reason why Gemma sleeps better in her own bed now, its in our room!LOL!

Hi Leeann,

Of my three babies, I found it absolutely necessary to co-sleep with my second. The others were all in the cot from day 1 with no problems, but she was a 2 hourly feeder - through the day and night - and it just exhausted me to continue to get up. So, she would sleep on a pillow, snuggled up against my body. It was lovely - and she would sleep much better - and so would I. We moved her into the cot in her own room the day after she turned 1 - and she never looked back!

People can sometimes be very judgemental when it comes to parenting - you need to do what works the best for you - after all - she won't be sleeping with you by the time she is 13 - be rest assured!!!!!! They are only little for such a very short time!!

xx:)

I didn't co-sleep with Lilly when she was a baby, but ever since we moved into our new house just before she turned 1, she has slept with me. It just works for us. Her bedroom is a distance away from mine and i would have separation anxiety if she was in there! LOL I just find she sleeps better and i rest well knowing she's there and if for some reason she wakes and is upset i'm just there and can easily cuddle her up and comfort her.

i co-slept with xander the first six weeks after birth.
than i put him in his own bed in his own room, because neither me nor him could sleep when we both were together in one room.. :doh: let alone in one bed:p

till this day i bring him back to his bed when he felt asleep in my bed or i had take him to my bed if he woke up in the night.

but if you and your bub WANT that, DO IT!
its just your decision and everything's fine if you both are lucky

We have never co-slept at all since day one, Tayneesha went into her cot since we arrived home form the hospital, she has been fine and never not likedit. Lucky i think!

If it works for you though do it. Don't let people tell you what you should do and Bla Blah Bah. Just do what is right for your family at the time.

Hope this helps.

Jen
x :hug:

Talia co-slept with us til she was 8 months, then she was happy to sleep in her cot for the next 4 months. When she turned 1 she started teething terribly so back into bed with us as it was the only way to keep her settled. Stayed there till she was about 20 months old. And went straight into a single bed. She is now in a double bed as it is easier for me to sleep in there with her in case she is sick or upset. Some nights she creeps into our bed and I will wake up a couple of hours later and take her back to hers. I like it. If it makes her feel safe then I have no problems with it. When I was a kid I used to glue my curtains together as I was so scared of what was outside my window in the dark. So if it makes her happy and she sleeps better then its all good with me.

I used to inadvertantly co-sleep...lol. I'd fall asleep feeding and wake up with him still laying next to me. When he was sick he wanted to sleep with me..like when he had chicken pox. Now, even though he's 13 he likes me to lay down in bed with him and have a chat or just lay with him before he goes to sleep.

Hey - a definate yes from this family. WIllie Jack has slept with us from the start (now 15m). He is a high-maintenance kid and this is the easiest way for all of us to get sleep. I gave up listening to what everyone else said with the whole BF debate - it still smarts when it is said as if you are a freak though.

I think it just comes down to different strokes for different folks, but I am glad to have him in with us. It feels much more family and anything that strengthens the whole family thing is a positive as far as I am concerned.

We LOVE co-sleeping in this family as well. With my first, Chloe, she slept with us until 8 months, when she moved into a hammock (which she loved and took to straight away). She stayed in the hammock until she leared to do a sort of front somersault-dive out of it (time for new arrangements) and she went straight into a cot at around 13 months and began sleeping all night. We are sharing our bed at the moment with our other little angel who is 9 months old, but she can already do "the dive" out of the hammock so I think she will just stay with us until around 14 months. It is sometimes a little challenging to get good rest, particularly when bubs are teething (like at present) and where she wants my nipple in her mouth ALL NIGHT!! But we love it overall and I know just how quick they grow up and move into their own space and that precious time is gone forever. I feel sad even thinking about her moving out of our bed!! Enjoy. Listen to what feels right and again......ENJOY.

Hi Lee-Ann :)

Yep we co-sleep. We really don't have a choice! DS loves to be in our bed, and it's easier for me when it comes to b/f him when he wants during the night.

He is however an extremely restless sleeper. Drives us insane. But I love having him in with us. And he loves being there.

To the people who have something to say about it.... well it's not their choice it's mine :)

I was just wondering, if you dont mind me asking, how you co-sleep? Obviously in the same bed, but DH leaves for work at 5am and around that time im up with Jesse feeding. It would be so much easier if i could then bring him back to my bed and get some more sleep but ive always worried id pull the blankets over his head while im asleep or roll onto him or something and suffercate him..

We've only just started co-sleeping, coz I get sick of getting up thru the night, and he seems to sleep better with us at the moment.

Kellxx - I really struggled with co-sleeping when Tallon was really small. I couldn't sleep coz I was worrying about blankets and things too. It's only now that I'm able to sleep with him between us, and he slept so well in the cot for the first 6 months, only waking for feeds and going straight back to sleep.

I haven't been against co-sleeping, but I've never been particularly pro co-sleeping either, simply because I worry about the transition back to the cot. So our co-sleeping only really happens if I can't resettle Tallon in the middle of the night, I just pop him in our bed and he sleeps straight away.

I also think this horrible changable weather is making co-sleeping easier, coz I think I'm just not getting him rugged up right his cot. It starts of hot, so he's unwrapped or in a sleeping bag, then it turns cold through the night...yada yada. Much easier to regulate warmth in our bed. heh.

kellxx there are safe co-sleeping 'guidelines' - google should bring up some info.

Kell, its unlikely that you would roll on your baby. How many times have you fallen out of bed recently? Even while we're asleep we retain most of our sensory preception unless we're under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. They do warn about co-sleeping if you have very long hair or are obese (I'm not quite sure why - I geuss that the hair could get tangled around bub's neck).
When Imran was a month old I put him right up against the headboard and I usually put blankets on him so we were't sharing doona. These days if I do that he kicks me in the face so now we share a doona and I just make sure his face is level with mine.
The SIDS and Kids website has safe co-sleeping guidelines.

oops i thought i had already answered this thread.
i started co-sleeping fulltime when my baby was 3 months, before that it was just in the night when she first woke(basinett in our room). one day she slept through - i wanted her to co-sleep cause all the research id read pointed out thats what she should do as a mammal, and breastfeeding through the night was alot more beneficial to her than not.also emotionally i feel it is so good for her - and it has been wonderful in promoting a trusting relationship with her and her dad:)(sometimes breastfeeding makes them 'wary' of dad;)
it certainly wasnt a decision i was forced into because i had a baby who didnt sleep:p

we started co sleeping after zac got sick. it was great as we slept more and so did he. he is now 14 weeks old and trying to stop co sleeping as he will now not sleep byhimself. we had people telling us not to and this is our own fault but it worked for us then and i would not change that. it saved our sanity

Yeah, I love other people's opinions on co-sleeping...like a hole in the head! My GF has just announced her pregnancy and it must be an immaculate conception...because her boy slept on his own for the first time last week!
And the amount of people who don't own up to it because of their fear of public opinion - more of us co-sleep than admit to, anyway.
Routine - I don't have a 'routine' in the common sense of the term, as in, things don't happen by a timeframe, rather by cues, no matter what the time is. Bedtime can be anytime, but it is always going to the same bedroom, same family bed, a feed and if a feed is finished before sleep arrives then either a burping to sleep session in a sling, or just lying with my eyes closed, arm around Oscar, gently patting his body (often with my boob still in mouth) and he follows suit. Mornings are varied in that he wakes, I feed, he goes back to sleep. I try to wait until he is properly asleep before removing myself from the bed and then have a shower and get some things done (prioritising the things I CAN'T do with him in the sling...like wax my legs, blow dry hair, boil eggs and eat them!). Sometimes, however, I fall asleep again so I just wait for the next hungry waking, feed and try again! Very, very rarely he won't go back to sleep in the morning so I just suck it up and spend the rest of his awake time unshowered...sometimes I just don't get round to it, but since he was born I have been able to manage a shower 99% of the time. Again, there's no time for being up and about, it's the cues that I provide him and that he provides me. I am happy and unstressed, enjoying my baby like I would never have believed possible AND unless he has been unwell, I always wake feeling rested.
Good one for choosing co-sleeping :) That and BFing are the two loveliest things, huh?

We co sleep and have done from birth with our daughter, she is now 2.5. We have just this week bought a single bed and have it between our queen bed and the wall. We think this will help in a gentle transition to her own bed and room and will give us more space in the heat of the summer. She sleeps now in her big girl bed but is welcome to still lie all over me when she is getting to sleep!

When I got those comments I told people it was a deliberate, conscious and well researched parenting decision and asked them their grounds for disapproval. It all boiled down to sex and spoiling!

Kaitlyn has been coming into our bed the last two weeks at about 4am and sleeping with us (about 1/2 dozen times). And man oh man does she sleep so much better!. She is sick and teething so I think she needs that little bit of extra comfort and I am ok with that.

I think every child and parent are different.

I never thought I would give co-sleeping a try before I had kids!!:)

Then along came my DS and he is a high-need child and he also fights sleep like anything. It has been a struggle most nights to get him to sleep and then to keep him asleep. Also when he was a newborn he needed to nurse every 2 hours just about around the clock and I was just getting really exhausted from the whole thing.

My dad and step-mom were visiting from the states in April and it was actually my dad who first suggested that I co-sleep with James and I really can't thank him enough for the suggestion. That first night was bliss and both James and I actually got a decent night sleep.

So our routine now is that James starts the night in his bed (which is right next to my side of the bed anyway) then whenever he wakes during the night I make the decision to re-settle him in his bed or to take him to bed with me. It always depends on how tired I am and whether or not James will settle back into bed on his own. Sometimes he snuggles right in and goes to sleep and other times he decides he needs his own space and doesn't settle until I put him back in his bed. We just go with the flow.

Early this morning was precious... I was feeding him in our bed and was still enough awake when he finished nursing to witness him detach, roll over (away from me) and cuddle up to my DH which was just sweet to see.

I have had a lot of guidance from Dr Sears website, Pinky McKay's book and also Elizabeth Pantley's book and I know this is what is best for our family. I think the most important thing for people to decide as far as co-sleeping is concerned is whether it is something they want to do, and it is also important to be in agreement with your partner as to whether or not to co-sleep, where and for how long. I'm thankful that my DH is understanding of James and his needs and is willing and happy to have him sleep in our room and also in our bed for as long as he needs.

So although there are MANY people out there who disagree with co-sleeping and are very willing to share their opinion with you - ignore them and decide to do what you feel is right for your child and your family. We are emotionally attached to these precious little angels we have been given and so we have to take that into account as well.

I'm just glad that there are websites, books, and chat rooms or forums out there that are supportive of our decisions and that we can seek out information, support and advice. In the grand scheme of things they are only babies for such a short time. I really can't believe that James is nearly 9 months old and sometimes I feel like I've missed out of really special, precious moments with him that I can never get back because I've been too busy sweating all the small stuff!!