Don't know what to feel

Hi guys,


Found out yeaterday that I was about five weeks pregnant but have lost the baby (details are in general conception discussion). I'm not really sure what to feel at the moment and just want to vent I guess.

I only found out that I was definately pregnant yesterday, but by then it was too late. I've had a bit of a cry over the whole thing but am now confused. I know that on the good side I didn't get to become emotionally attached, but on the bad side I know that I was pregant, that there was a baby there, but that now it is gone. I feel a bit lost really.

I really wish that I just didn't know about it at all and that I could have just been left thinking that it was just an unusual period. The "Ignorance is Bliss" kind of thing I guess. I hope it's not wrong to think like that.

Thanks for listening :(

I'm so sorry about your loss. Unfortunately I have had a M/C too and I know how much it hurts. There is nothing I can say that will make it better, but just know that I understand, as do many on BB and that we are here for you to vent as much as you need. Take care.

My ectopic pg ended two weeks ago, today......I don't know how to answer you, sorry. My DH has basically said that he doesn't want to talk about it because it upsets us both and we have to "carry on" for DDs sake.

I wish you all the very best.

Oh Curious, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I have suffered from 2 m/c, so I unfortunately know how very difficult this time is for you.

I tend to believe that it doesn't matter how long you have known you are PG for, there is an immediate bond that forms, and you consciously or unconsciously start making plans for your future as a family.

I really don't think it's wrong to have any of the feelings you are having either. How you feel about this and react to it really does differ from person to person, and the most important thing is that whatever you are feeling, you acknowledge it and try to talk about it....it really does help. Feel free to vent here and just get it all out if you think it will help....we'll try to support you as best we can.

Take care.......

Sheree,

A huge hug to you. I am so sorry. It must be hard not being able to talk about it at home (not that I'm faulting your DH, because I know some people need to deal with differently than others), but as iris said to me, the people at BB are here for you anytime you need to vent.

All the very best for the future,

Curious

Hi Curious,

Sorry to hear of your M/C.
Big :hug:

Hi Curious,

I am so sorry to hear of your m/c. :hug: to you. I know all to well what you are feeling atm, and it doesn't matter whether or not you found out yesterday or weeks before, it does still hurt and you do need to grieve, it was still a part of you.

If you ever want to talk please remember that we are all here for you whenever you need to vent. Also you are more than welcome to email me at any time to vent aswell.

Take care

Huge hugs to you, Curious.

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious little bub.

Take care.

Angel.

Sorry to hear of your loss - I also lost one at 5 weeks - I had known for a week. I know it doesn't seem like it but you will feel better after a while. :hug: and :smt058

Curious - I am so sorry to hear of what you are going through. What you have to try to remember is that there is not right or wrong way to feel about it all! You will feel what is right for you no matter what anyone says. Listen to yourself and make sure you can talk to your partner about it, it may seem as though he doesnt understand but he is going through his own pain too. The fact that you only found out yesterday must be making it so hard for you at the moment though. As you said, sometimes ingorance may be bliss.

Please know that we are all here for you, many of us have unfortunately experienced m/c too. I know I couldn't have got through mine without the girls on here!

Curious, sorry for your loss. you will definately find a lot of support from the BB girls. I know I did when I lost my twins.

Curious, honey Im so sorry for your loss.

Huge massive :hug: 4 u darl.
Take care.xx

Hi Guys,

Well I've had a very strange last few days and on Friday at my follow up blood test it got stranger. My hormone levels, instead of going down like the doctor said they would, have almost trippled.

So what does this mean? Basically the doctor said it could mean two things -

1. That I am having complications from the miscarriage

OR

2. That I am STILL PREGNANT (but only a few weeks, instead of the 5 that they thought) and they just missed it on the two untrasounds that they did.

I have been told to stay home for the long weekend and then go back to the hospital on Tuesday and have another blood test and ultrasound to see if they can see anything this time. (Looking for Ectopic or normal)

OH MY GOODNESS!! My brain is scrambled right now
:boggle:

I will let you know either way what happens as soon as I can.

Curious :flower:

I'll be praying for you Curious....whatever happens after the long weekend though, just remember we'll all be here to support you!

Oh my gosh Curious that must be so hard to deal with. Fingers crossed you get some good news on Tuesday.

Curious, you must be so confused at the moment. Good Luck for Tuesday I hope it`s good news for you.

Take Care

Deeanne

Big hugs, Curious. Will be thinking of you on Tuesday & hoping for some good news for you.

Take care.

Angel.

Hi Curious,
Thinking of you at the moment and am [-o< that all is ok with bub and you get great news next week. Take care, and if at all possible try and relax or at least put your feet up. We are all here to support you no matter what. Hoping we will be celebrating next week

Oh Curious, HUGE :hug: I am thinking of you and [-o< that everything will be ok with you and bubs. Please let us know how you go on Tuesday.

Take Care

Hi Curious

Here's hoping you get some news one way or the other tomorrow. I hope that maybe they did get it wrong & you & your precious little one are okay. Please let us know how you get.

Curious - good luck with everything tomorrow! I will be thinking of you.

Curious, how did things go today?

Angel.

OMG Curious, how are you, what has today brought for you?

Curious, how did you go today?? Please know we are all thinking of you. :hug:

Just popping in to see how you went today Curious. Did you get any answers??

Am thinking of you & look forward to hearing how you went.

How did you go curious?

Hello,

Thanks so much for all of your warm wishes. Unfortunately it was an ectopic pregnancy. I went to the hospital on Tuesday and had all of the tests done again and at first they couldn't see anything on the ultrasounds. But they got the head guy in for a second opinion and he did find something in my tube. So they told me to call my husband because we had some decisions to make. Do we have surgery and have it removed, with a 9/10 chance that they take my tube as well, or do we try a method using an injection of Methotrexate? This leaves your tube, but slightly increases the chance of another ectopic.

After discussing it we decided to try the injection. I had my appendix out in January this year and couldn't face any more surgery. So after explaining all of the possible side effects of the medicine they gave me the injection on Wednesday and after watching me for an hour they said I could go home. So here I am.

Feeling a bit sad, but mostly relieved that I know. I'm not feeling many of the side affects from the injection yet, mainly soreness and a bit of an upset tummy. They said the side affects could happen anywhere in the next week, if they happen at all.

I have to go for a blood test every two days for the next week and then an appointment on Thursday. If my hormone levels are coming down then they assume that the Methotrexate worked. If they don't then we have to make another decision - Do we have enough time to try it again? Or do we have surgery?

After that we have to be very careful, because we have to wait another 3 months before TTC again.

Thankyou guys so much for listening. Between you and my great friends this experience has been much less scary and confusing.
:flower:

All my love,
Curious

Hey Curious,

I'm so very sorry to hear that it was an EP. Huge :hug:

Fingers crossed that the Methotrexate works for you. Please do keep us updated on how you're going.

Take care.

Angel.

I am so sorry to hear it was an ectopic, however I am glad to hear that you are receiving treatment & I hope it works well for you. Good luck with all your blood tests & whatever the future holds.

Please let us know how you are going from time to time.

Take care of yourself.

Hi Curious,

I am so sorry it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy :hug:

Hope everything goes well for you both in the future.

Take care Curious. We are here for whenever you need us

I`m so sorry Curious to hear that you`ve had an ectopic pregnancy :hug:

Look after yourself.

Take Care

Deeanne

Hi Curious,

HUGE :hug: I am so sorry it ended up being an ectopic pregnancy. I really hope the injection worked for you.

Please let us know how you get on.

Take Care

So sorry to hear hat you are going through. Big hugs to you and your DP. Please know that we are all here for you.

Curious, I am sorry for your loss - :hug: It is heartbreaking to have your hopes lifted then crushed with even more devatating news of an E P. I hope your treatment works and you can be back TTC after waiting Dr's recommend
Remember we are here for you - you can join us in trying to concieve after m/c or loss thread when you feel ready anytime. Take care.

Awww, curious, so sorry to hear of your news. Fingers crossed the injection works for you the first time.

Hello Everyone,

Thanks for all of the warm wishes. I've been feeling quite good for the last few days. Only a slightly grumbly belly and a small amount of pain. No bleeding, vomiting or cramps thank goodness.

One blood test down and two more to go. I can't wait for my appointment on Thursday so I know if it has worked or not.

Take care,
Curious :flower:

Here's wishing you nothing but good results on Thursday.

I too hope that you get good results at your appt on Thursday. Let us know how you go.

Hello everyone,

Some positive news! I went to my appointment on Thursday and Although my Friday hormone test went up, as did my Monday...my Wednesday test was slightly DOWN. So it was back to gribbles for another blood test on Saturday and that too was slightly down. So things are looking good.

I still have to have another test tomorrow and if all is still looking good then it should be another week before they have to suck out any more of my blood. (I feel like a pin cushion) After that they just keep an eye on me until my hormones are back to normal.

I feel very relieved. I was pretty sure that because I didn't have many side effects that the injection hadn't worked. But it seems that it has. Now it is a 3 month wait before we can TTC. I'll be counting down the days!!

Thankyou guys so much for your support all of the way through this, it has made me smile a lot more that I would have thought under the circumstances.

Big Hugs,
Curious

:flower: