Just couldn't Hold on...

Hi

I only found out on tuesday of this week (26April) that we were pg for sure (+ve BT) - the first positive test dated back to the previous wednesday, and i was so excited but it is gone already now. I was in here on thursday looking at some of the other posts because i was terrified of loosing it and was looking to see if anyone had any warning it was about to happen... (i guess i had a premonition or something). My blood test HCG lebel on tuesday was really low 68- i thought that really odd at the time but was trying to be very positive, we all celebrated and told our immediate families and then yesterday morning i got up and everythin was fine then i had terrible cramping and lower back pain. When i went to the toilet next there was a lot of blood.We went up to the hospital - there was no point in doing a scan - took a blood test - level at 6.. and then just went home to cry for the day. One of the hardet things was having to ring everyone again to tell them.

This has been the year from hell - first the fertility issues - then our dog dies and now this. One thing is that it is making DH and I a stronger couple, and i know everything happens for a reason - but why does all the ****ty things have to happen to us and all at once.

Awww AJ, I am so sorry for your loss. Seems that you are really having a hard time atm. :hug: for you sweety.


Take care
Trish

AJ, I was so sad to see your name in this forum this morning. I'm so sorry for your loss, you really are having a bummer of a year aren't you. :hugs: :hugs:. I truly hope that things pick up for you soon. Don't forget that we're always here for you any time you need a cyber-shoulder to cry on.

Oh AJ :hug: I am so sorry to hear about the loss !!! Thinking of you all.

Love

AJ I am so sorry for your loss. I hope things start to feel better for you real soon.

AJ I am sorry to hear of your sad news :hug:

You are in my thoughts.

:hug: I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Aj i'm really sorry for your loss
big :hug: for you sweetie

AJ...I am so devastated to hear about your loss; I couldn't imagine the disappointment and pain you and your family are feeling.

I guess all I can say is that whenever you might need us...we're all here for you! :hug: :grouphug:

Awww AJ, sweetie, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. HUGE :hug: If you ever need to talk you can email me.

I am thinking of you and DH at this terrible time.

Sorry to hear of your loss.

:hugs: and :smt058

Nat

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you are taking care of yourself & am sending hugs your way.

AJ - sorry to hear of your loss. Hugs to you and your family.

We're here for you AJ. Thinking of you

Im so so sorry for your loss. Take it easy and give each other lots of support and talk when you need to.

Dont forget the BB girls are here for you 24/7.

Chin up darl

Oh darling, I was so sad to see this after being so happy that you'd concieved. JUst know that lots of use are thinking about you, and are real sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

K

Oh AJ, I am SO sorry to hear about the loss of your little one. You must be heartbroken and devastated.

We are all here for you, so if you want to chat, then we will do our best to support you at this difficult time.

Thinking of you........

Oh AJ darlin' I'm so sorry for your loss angel. :hug:

You and DH are in my thoughts now , I am here for you like we all are. :grouphug:

AJ, it sux big time and it is not fair at all. My thoughts are with you xoxo

Oh AJ I'm so sorry to hear this. Big :hug:

:cry: AJ we are all here for you sweety :hug:

AJ, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. :hug:

We are all thinking of you.

Thank you so much to everyone. I don't know what i would do without you all. I cannot imagine how you cope with losing a baby later in the preganacy - i hope that is something i never have to face. DH doesn't understand why i am spending so much time on the computer right now... But he isn't a talker - i need to get it all out and of course Belly belly is one of the best places to do this.

One good thing - i am having a few glasses of wine tonight - first time since TTC so about six months!!- gone straight to my head if i am honest.

I thought that it would hurt more, that there would be more blood - more physical stuff - i guess living with Endo for so many years this isn't that hard and it was only 5w and 1d so very early.

For those who say - why test so early - well i am glad i did - i knew i was pregnant anyway but having it confirmed meant a lot. Hopefully i won't have to go through this again but if i do as long as in the end i get a healthy baby i don't mind. This wasn't our time obviously.

I feel like that over the last two days after losing the pregnancy has made me grow up a lot more than becoming pregnant did and i do not think that is necessarily a bad thing....

AJ, so sorry to hear about your loss.

AJ, i am so sorry to hear of your loss.

So Sorry about your loss AJ. Thinking of you .

Oh AJ, I'm so terribly sorry that you've had to experience this. Huge hugs to you!!

Take care.

Angel.

AJ, this is just terrible.... BB helped me an enormous amount and I hope it helps you too.

Feel free to belt the first (and second and third) person to say "it must have happened for a reason".

Dear Aj
I am so sorry for your loss. I have been there and though I can't imagine your pain - I know how emotionally painful the loss of a :hug: precious wanted baby is. Thinking of you and hoping you find support here.

I hate seeing new posts in here, So sorry for you and your DH's lost AJ.
Be strong and keep positive.

AJ - you were on my mind over the weekend sweet heart - I was so sorry to hear or your news this morning. :grouphug:
We are all here for you to listen when ever you need us.

Sending hugs your way
Belinda

I am terribly sorry for your loss AJ, my thoughts are wiht you at this difficult time.

Take care of yourself,

AJ, Oh I feel awful for you at this time... I hope you gain some strength from talking & sharing in this site, it really helped me...


Gab, love ya ticker!

Thanks Trace, same to you!!

Aj, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. Please feel free to vent whenever you need.

We're all here for you, :grouphug:
I'll add your little one to my prayers.

AJ,

Sorry to hear of your loss, you are in my thoughts.

Take care Leah

Dear AJ,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss... :hug:
You are in my thoughts.

Please take care sweetie...