Recurrent miscarriage

I hope you guys don't mind me posting here. I am feeling really lost and am not sure where to go from here, even though I have only had 2 miscarriages.

The first was 14 Oct, it was a missed m/c and I should have been 8w 4d but it only measured 7w. I had misoprostol twice over a week as I couldn't handle having a D & C. I got pg again in Dec, and should be 5w 2d today. I knew something wasn't right and have just had it confirmed. My HCG last Fri was 182 and yesterday only 73, and my symptoms are now diminishing. I am not bleeding yet and just wish it would start to get it over with.

I just got back from the doctor's. He told me to get another BT to check on HCG levels, and I have a form for another one for a week's time if I am still not bleeding, and I may have to get a scan done to see if there are any 'products of conception' still there, and then maybe a D & C. I tried asking him why this is happening and what I should do now, what all my hormone levels were, etc, and he said he didn't know and could refer me to genetic counselling, but there would be a long wait, and that he wasn't going to answer my questions because 'this is a fit-in appointment and I don't want my schedule to be out all day'.

I told him I am very sorry I took up his time and will go elsewhere next time and slammed the door on my way out. I couldn't even drive home I was crying so much and now I don't know what to do.

I had the BT and have to phone for the results later today, but the last thing I want to do is speak to that ***** again. I can't believe someone can be so horrible in what is such an awful situation. Now I don't know what to do, what the answers are and where we go from here.

I just can't stop crying and I can't get through to DH.

I had 13 vials of blood taken after the last m/c as I demanded tests be done. All came back normal - no ANA problems, no lupus, and I don't even know what else he tested, but it was heaps and all was ok. Of course I don't know if anything was borderline, as he doesn't have time to answer my questions.

I just don't know what to do. We want a family so badly and I have no idea what to do now. Deb - thanks for all the info you have posted, I have read it all and had so many Qs to ask my dr about it all, but obviously I have gotten nowhere.

What do I do now? How will I ever have the family I have always wanted?

I am young, fit, healthy, not overweight, don't smoke or drink, no family history of anything, and I did all the right things through my pregnancies. We fell straight away with both pregnancies so obviously have not trouble conceiving, so what do we do now?

Hi Bun - I am sorry to hear what you are going through :hug: Unfortunately I cannot offer you too much advice because I am not sure what happens in this situation. Maybe a way to start would be to see a different GP for a second opinion, or possibly even get an appointment with a private OB to see if they can help you find out what is going on. I mainly wanted to say that I think the way the dr spoke to you was inappropriate, and everyone deserves to be treated with a lot more respect than he gave you, and you are entitled to that respect and care regardless of whether you are a "fit-in" or not as he is still being paid for his services. If you do see another GP, they could always request a copy of your test results so that you wouldn't have to ring that clinic back. They are your records and therefore the pathology company must release them to another health care provider upon your request.

All the best,

Mel

Sorry for your recent losses.

I just wanted to second Mel, the treatment you recieved was deplorable! I would definately be seeking a different medical opinion. Maybe in the local forums someone in WA could suggest a good gp/ob in your area. I would actually go so far as to report this doctor to the AMA.. part of the required role of any medical professional, doctor, nurse, etc... is to educate and inform their clients.

Bun, I'm so sorry about the treatment you received. How awful for you, with everything else you're going through.

I know you're waiting on your health insurance to kick in, so i would definitely go and see a well-respected OB and have your records transferred to him/her. This way if there's something else they want to test they can, if not at least you will feel that everything under the sun has been checked, and can go into your next pg hoping and believing that everything will be okay. And you can start to build a relationship with that Dr, who will hopefully be your OB throughout your next pg.

I have been seeing My OB as my gynae for over seven years now, and it's so lovely to see someone who knows me so well. He was wonderful when we miscarried and I was so thankful that I have him. I think you will feel better next pg if you have a Dr you can really trust on your side.

I know that Kelly and Jayne seem very happy with their OBs, maybe you could see about getting a referral to one of them? Or both, and then decide which you feel most comfortable with. Or if you prefer someone else, I'm sure they (Kel and Jayne) have friends who could recommend other OBs.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best. I know you will get through this terrible time, and go on to have your happy and healthy bubba.

Hi Bun,

I am sorry for your loss.

WRT the appalling treatment you have recieved case you do want to report the docrot, you need to report him to the Medicial Practitioners Board, rather than the AMA.

If you google Maternity Coaltion (or there might be a link on the amin site) they can advise you on this.

I joined after an really bad experience with an OB, and they are advocating on my behalf for the complaint.

Hi Bun,

Hun, I am so sorry that you are going through this tragic loss again so soon. My heart breaks for you. I too followed all the rules, DH and I don't smoke, exercise didn't drink didn't even have a coffee and life still wanted to mess with us. There is no reason (well no reason that is good enough) for why this happens to anyone. As Deb says, babies don't just die, and you need to find a respectful Doctor who will help you exhaust all avenues so that you will have that family you desire so much. I just want to give you the warmest :hug:

I am disgraced at the actions of your Doctor. He is obviously in the wrong profession and should be ashamed with himself. I know you have many other things on your mind at the moment, but if in time you do want to report him I think that is well deserved. See if a complaint 'fits in' with his stinking schedule!!! Is there someone you can appoint to get your results so that you don't have to deal with that pathetic excuse for a Doctor? I am not sure if you can write something so that someone else can collect your results. I'd get DH to do it so that he can tell that coward where to go.

Take care my sweet, I will be thinking of you. If you need help writing a letter of complaint I am good at those sort of things so all you have to do is ask.

Luv Spring Angel

Hi Bun,
I have had a bit of a time away and only just got back into it. Ihave read your story and wanted to see how things are going for you.
Like some of the others have said. The treatment you received from this health care provider was appalling. I am so so very sorry... :hugs:

Hi Deb,

Thank you for your post. I was so very grateful for all the info you have posted here in relation to recurrent m/c - it has really helped me out, and I was so glad to see you back here again!

As my GP was so totally useless, I ended up finding my own referral to an RE that was recommended to me. I went to see him the week before last and posted about the appointment in the miscarriage & loss thread under 'My RE Appointment'. He basically went through all the possible reasons for it and said that I can do testing now if I want, but said that he thinks it is just bad luck and there is an 80% chance it won't happen again. He also said that there is only a 20% chance of actually finding something wrong which surprised me. As some of the testing sounded pretty awful, we decided to get the tests done that they can do by BT, and I am getting some of them done today. Then we will see him again in a couple of weeks and will start trying again if all is ok.

I am also seeing a counsellor which I hope will help, as although I am a lot better now than I was, I am definitely not my old self yet and need some extra support.

You guys here are just fantastic - the most supportive site I have found and the knowledge and the support has been life-saving.

It is just awful that so many people have to go through this, and that they don't seem to know enough yet about what to do. I am very happy to see you back and hope that soon we will both be enjoying the pregnancy journey for a whole 9 months!

Thanks again for your support,

Bun xx

Good to hear from you Bun. I am glad you are feeling a little better - counselling is a wonderful idea. I personally have found it very beneficial.
It is a tough road and I am glad you have found support from the wonderful women in here.
When you are ready join us in the ttc after recurrent miscarriage/still birth/late loss thread. We would love to have you... :hug:

Thanks Deb,

I was not sure about entering the TTC after recurrent m/c and late loss thread, as I have only had 2 m/cs, and technically 3 is considered recurrent loss. I am feeling a bit lost atm as to where I should be. I read all the other threads regularly and know what all the gals are up to, but am just not sure where to post!

I had the BTs done the other day - 18 vials! Boy, did I feel drained. I am waiting for my arm to recover (bad veins on other arm), and then tomorrow morning will get the fasting ones done. My next appt is in 2 wks, so I guess we will have some more answers then.

I start counselling this Sat, so hopefully that will go well, I am kind of looking forward to it. I am feeling quite positive atm, I really feel it will all work out next time, and I think we will start trying this cycle (am on CD6 now, but O late usually), but will take it easy, no temping or anything, will just see what happens.

Thanks for all your support - I hope things are going well for you :)

Bun xx

Hi Bun, I haven't chatted to you before but have been in the recurrent m/c thread - I know the doctors talk about it being 3 before officially termed 'recurrent' however I think once you can think to yourself it's bad luck, but after two in a row it's just as scary and daunting to start agains as after 3 or 4. So I think come on it and chat and if you do have a successful pregnancy next time everyone will just be happy for you!

I've had 4 miscarriages over a space of 18 months ( had a break for the six months or so) and they did all my testing after the 2nd one. It's true about not always finding a cause unfortunately, the only thing they came up with for me was fibroids after what felt like a million blood tests as well as analysing the embryo and having a look at my womb (if they mention a hysteroscopy it's going in with a camera to see if everything looks normal!).

I'd advise having every test they can suggest - the worst part is not knowing and if you can pinpoint a cause at least there is then action to be taken - but see what comes out of the bloods first. I hope you won't need the TTC forum for very long, but in the mean time love to see you there...

:D

Hi Mish,

Thank you for posting. I have been reading your posts in the TTC thread. You're right - one m/c you can out down to bad luck, but once you have more than that it is pretty hard to believe in the bad luck thing, and makes trying again extremely daunting.

I just had the last lot of BTs this morning - it sure does feel like millions of tests; I don't think I have any blood left in me! I agree - even though the chances of finding something are quite low, it still helps knowing if there is anything that can be treated, or at least if nothing is found, you have that peace of mind. If nothing is found and we go on to conceive and m/c again, then I will get the camera test thing done - it sounds really awful, but I suppose if it must be done, then it must be done!

I am struggling a lot with depression at the moment, and having trouble believing it will ever work out for us. This is such a tough road and it helps me so much having people like you to talk to who understand. I hope with all my heart that it works out for you next time - you deserve it!

Thank you for the invitation to join the recurrent m/c thread - I may well do that!

Thanks again for your support, I appreciate it so very very much.

Bun xx

Honey sometimes just having a purely selfish vent... just type it all out... helps with the depression, the anger, the hurt. We all do it and that's why being in the thread is great. You don't feel like a freak anymore, or that something is wrong with you, or that you are alone. We all have different experiences yet we all share the same feelings of loss.

There is nothing wrong with feeling sad, or depressed, its all part of the grieving process and all part the journey we are on.

My Grandma once said, we are never given more than we can deal with, even if we don't think we can at the time.

I like to think that someone had to carry these little angels for the little time they had and not everyone is cut out for such an important job, we were chosen because we have it within us to survive this, it may not seem like it now, or tomorrow or next month but we will, all in time, come to an acceptance of our situations.

Hi Kerry,

Thanks for your post. I just have to say that your DD is absolutely stunning! She is just gorgeous.

I think maybe I need a purely selfish vent, rather than just crying everyday on my own. I just don't want to offend anyone who has been through so much more than me by carrying on about how crap things are for me at the moment when I haven't gone through the pain of losing a baby in the second tri or later, and I have only had 2 m/cs, yet still I feel so very depressed and alone. I do read the threads all the time and think about you guys a lot, and wish so very much for a happy healthy pg for you all.

I feel like I am just not handling things and sometimes think we should just give up, even though all I have ever really wanted was a family. Even when I was a child, I knew how very much I wanted my own children to love. If it isn't to be, I am happy to adopt - I just want to love and care for a child, as I (and my Dh) have so much love to give (and our cat and dog get way too much attention!). I just don't feel like we can give up yet, but this road is so hard and scarey - I don't feel like I have actually been happy or 'myself' for so long now, and there is nothing I can do to get the 'old' me back. Your grandmother is right - we are not given things we cannot handle, no matter how bad things seem, we do go on, even when we think we can't do it any longer. I just wish things could be easy. I know no one said life would be easy, but for some of us, I just think it is time we were given a break.

Sorry, I am going on... Thank you for posting here, I am thinking of you and wishing for you to have another beautiful child to keep your lovely DD company :hug:

hi..
i am new to this forum, but obviously experiencing the same situation with some of you. I have 2 beautiful children now, but took me 4 years to have them. First couple years had problem conceiving, the last two i did fall pregnant naturally and assisted, but M/Cs 3 times at early stage (no specific reasons, just bad lucks....). However, now i am blessed with a DS (3) and DD (1,5).

I thought my battle with M/Cs is over after 2 lives healthy children, but now when i mhoping that i could get just 1 extra bundle, i have to face it again. Just had D&C for my 4th(?) M/C 2 days ago.Very dissapointed, upset, frustated,, and still cant believe it!

I had tears down my cheek when i read the posts for the loss in late pregnancies, i dont think i could face it myself. But i could see all of you are very strong and has given me some comfort that apparently i am not alone..

Those who are TTC #1, never given up hope. It will happen! and you will have the beautiful little family soon... All the best..

Cora,
Welcome to Belly Belly and I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. It is a sad and difficult time for you. :hugs:
Please feel free to join the wonderful women HERE in the TTC after REcurrent miscarriage/stillbirth/late loss thread if you would like to support and be supported through your journey to holding anohter baby. :hug:

hi flowerchild,
thank you for the courage. I'd definitely love to hold another baby if i have the chance but i still couldnt understand the repeat miscarriage at the early stage. how could it be happening so many times if there are no specific reasons (i did the complete BT before i had my children but all turn normal..), but if all normal, how can it happen again this time...

is there any special BT can be done to find out before TTC again?

:redface:

There are some tests Cora that can be done. Do you mind me asking how far along in your pregnancies you were? Have a look at this post it may help you...

They were all before 8 weeks. Fetal didnot develop as they should and either began with weak heartbeat and stop the following week or the last one no heartbeat was seen at 6.5wks (HCG not increasing as it should as well).

The pathology info is great! I remember i brought up this list of blood work (which i remember i took from an American site) and the specialist here seems not too familiar with the terms.. anyway,,, maybe it has changed in a couple year.

wondering if anyone using herbal treatment to regulate all the hormones and strengten the blood system?

xx