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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

  1. #127

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    Hey Spring - sorry I have only just logged in for the first time today. I am so glad that lil'Spring was kicking around on the scan tonight. You had me worried for a minute there reading your earlier post, I can't even imagine how you were feeling. I'm glad DH encouraged you to ring your ob and what a wonderful man. You have done the right thing by putting your mind at ease, I hope there is no more spotting, which I'm sure there won't be.



    I'm thinking of you - take care and big :hugs:

  2. #128

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    Thanks Lynn, it was panic stations there for a while. Being in the negative frame of mind I was, I had already decided I was going to call you if it was bad news. I just didn't know what else to do and knew that DH would be at least 3 hours away.

    I am so glad that it didn't get to that. I have been to the toilet about 4 times since getting home and there is no more. I keep imagining lower back pain but I know it is all in my imagination.

    Now I just have to make it to Thursday with my mind intact.

    Luv Spring

  3. #129

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    Oh babe, please know that you can call at any time and I will be in there in 10 minutes (5 if I speed!!). You should have called me to go to the hospital so you didn't have to go alone. Please remember that all you have to do is ask, honestly I don't mind what you need me to do and at what time. I just want to be there for you to help you through this. I don't want you to feel like you are alone while DH is away.

    I hope you are feeling a little bit better after your scan, and please remember that you can call me at any time. Sending you and lil' Spring the biggest

  4. #130

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    Yeah, I can see the lightning out over Botany Bay.
    Your ob's sounds great, I might have to move out near you so I can stalk him too
    Yeah I will be up for a little bit too I think. It just hit me a couple of hours ago that it is the 5th tommorrow, so that will be 4 months for me. DP and I had a bit of a cry before, but I am ok. I know everyone always says it, but it really feels like yesterday sometimes and forever ago at other times. I am also feeling a bit down in that since we lost Asha, I always thought I would be pregnant by now. And those stupid HPK's still aren't giving me a line..doh!! Though, in the HPK thread, there was a discussion about this particular brand I was using and the ladies there are saying they are reliable, so if I don't get AF by wednesday, I am going to rush out and get another brand.

    Hi Lynn how are you today??

  5. #131

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    Hey Bailey - I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I know that it will be hard day and there will be many tears, but just know that your precious angel is watching over and protecting you and will be sending you a BFP very soon

    Mel - I will be thinking of you too tomorrow. Your sweet angel knows how special he is to have such a wonderful mummy and he will be sending you all his love tomorrow. Take care and sending you and DH the biggest

    I haven't had a very good day today. I just don't want tomorrow to come and I know that it might sound a bit selfish because the 5th means alot to you Bailey and Mel and I will be thinking of you but I just feel like another year older, another year without my babies. We went out to dinner tonight with the family and I told my mum and dad that I didn't want it to be about my birthday (but because I'm a twin, my twin did )Anyway, we were sitting in the restaurant and a song came on from Cooper's funeral, and I lost it. So it has been a very emotional day for me and I have no idea what tomorrow holds for me, but I will be thinking of you Bailey and Mel and wishing so much that you both get your BFP tomorrow - that would be bittersweet.

  6. #132

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    Oh Lynn - I am sorry you are having a hard time right now. Try to be positive, remember your doc has a plan for you and I know that Cooper will be helping him with it. Try to have a good day tommorrow, as hard as it is to have any celebrations while we don't have our babies.

    Mel - I hope you are well, and I will be thinking of you, your DH and beautiful little Nicholas tomorrow.

  7. #133

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    Thanks Bailey. I know I need to be positive and that I said I would be, but it is just so hard at the moment

    Big hugs for you for tomorrow. Asha has a beautiful mummy

    I'm off to bed now - speak to you all soon

  8. #134

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    I will be thinking of you tomorrow Bailey, I hope that you are ok. Will you be with your DH? Big :hugs:

    Lynn, thanks for the offer to be with me any time. I sort of just got in the car and speed down to the hospital. I am sorry that you had a tough day and that you are dreading tommorrow. I want your birthday to be a special day for you but I can imagine how mixed your feelings must be about trying to celebrate when you are feeling so sad. I don't know what to say other than I know Cooper would want his mummy to have a happy birthday. I hope you get a good nights sleep.


    Well my dog is totally freaking out in the storm. I am sitting here typing with one hand and trying to give him reassuring pats with the other. I hope this storm passes so because I have to work tomorrow and need some sleep. I get so worried that he is going to hurt himself when he gets this insane.

    It has been a hectic night.

    luv Spring

  9. #135

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    Lynn - I know it is going to be a tough day but I hope we can all help give you the strength to get through it just by knowing how much we are all thinking of you and care about you. Big :hugs: to you.

    Spring - I am so sorry for everything you went through yesterday, I had no idea cause I didnt check BB. I am so happy to hear that lil Spring is doing well and your OB sounds amazing, and re our conversation maybe he really is a keeper! I hope you are doing ok today and got some sleep in between Frank and Vinnie's freak-outs. Harrison will be in my thoughts tomorrow.

    Bailey - I hadnt realised that our angels were both born on the 5th until now, but I remember from now on. I hear you about thinking you would be pregnant by now, I feel exactly the same way and it sucks! Thinking of you, Asha, DH and DS today :hugs:

    Deb - Still thinking of you and hoping you are doing ok.

    Sorry I wasnt online yesterday. Got bfn in morning and spent an hour or so lying in bed crying cause I knew it meant 100% I had failed AGAIN this month. Picked myself up cause I had to as kids were here and my sis was coming over for lunch with her kids. So put on a brave face... until my sis was getting ready to go and DH's 5yo said "Mel, you would be lucky if you had Maya" (my 4 month old niece) and I just ran off into my bedroom and burst into tears. My sis said I could go back to their place with her and DH could come get me after the kids go home, so I did cause I really needed to get away from them and didnt really cope with them well this weekend at all. I was so short tempered! So at my sisters I felt a bit better, my poor nephew got sick and threw up.
    While I was there AF arrived!!!! Ever sine I had Nicholas my cycle has been PERFECT - O day 14, get AF exact day due. So this month I dont get any positive OPKs but bloods show I have O'd so who knows when, and I get AF 1 day early. I dont understand why and I hope it doesnt mean my cycle is starting to go all up the putt. But all the same I am very grateful it came yesterday instead of today because I dont know how I would have coped with it today. Today I feel ok, DH organised to work from home so I am not alone and that is always 1 step towards a better day for me. I feel a little sad and had a bit of a cry when I first woke up, but im not as bad as I have been leading up to today.

    HAPPY 6 MONTH BIRTHDAY MY BEAUTIFUL BOY

    You never said I'm leaving
    You never said good-bye
    You were gone before I knew it
    And only God knew why

    A million times we've needed you,
    A million times we've cried.
    If love alone could've saved you,
    You never would have died.

    In life we loved you dearly,
    In death we love you still.
    In our hearts you hold a place,
    No one else will ever fill.

    It broke our hearts to lose you,
    But you didn't go alone.
    Part of us went with you,
    The day God took you home.

    ~ Love always, Mummy ~
    Last edited by Mel1977; March 5th, 2007 at 12:07 PM.

  10. #136

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    Hi Girls,


    Mel That pome is just so beautiful, I have tears running down my face, Nicholas is so proud of his mummy, your are a wonderful and strong women. Im sending you a big hug and thinking of you today. Im sorry that the witch arrived I now only hope and pray that this is the start of a new month with positive results in 27 days time. All my love to you and DH on this day. xxx

    Lynn A big Happy birthday to you. I know its a hard day but please be good to yourself, im sure Cooper would love to see his mummy happy on her birthday. I do wish I could give you what you want the most.......But very soon you will have that babe in arms and your tears of soorow with be replaced with joy. I hope the girls are keeping you good company today! Thinking of you and sending lots of love.

    Bailey Im thinking of you also today. Im sure that all the angels are together, playing and hoping there mummies are smiling up at them because they are sending lots of love back. I hope today you find some comfort. xxx

    Spring Im so glad to hear that little sping is jummping around and still doing wonderful OK not that any of us thought and differant. It is so hard to stay positive so Im sending you lot and lots of positive vibes. Have fun with DH and I will be thinking about you. Take it easy.

    Deb I do hope you are feeling better.

    To all you other beautiful women I hope today is good to you.( I think this might help all of us today.)

    lots of love and good positive vibes.....Nat xxxx

  11. #137

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    Why does life seem to keep throwing more and more [email protected]@@ at us - I just went to drs with DH cause he has this suspicious lesion type thing on the side of his thigh/buttock area which I only noticed on him last night. So the dr said he didnt want to touch it and referred him on to a plastic surgeon. I called one of the guys in the rooms I just finished up work in and his secretary got him in on Thursday at 4.15pm. DH is really worried and has been quiet all day, especially now. He wont really talk to me about it, and I wish he would. He has admitted he is worried and I went to give him a cuddle and he let me but then tried to almost push me away, which he has never done before. I am really worried but have kind of pretended that I think everything will be fine. I keep thinking so negatively like everything else goes wrong, why not this?

  12. #138

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    Thank you everyone for your birthday wishes. It was a tougher day than I had thought it would be....................nearly over. I managed to pull myself out of bed around 11 when my mum rang the door bell. I don't know how to describe how I am feeling, it is so hard. Well I changed my sig (not sure I can get used to it!)

    I had my BT to check my prog levels so I will find out tomorrow what they are. I'm 9dpo so I am waiting for af to arrive any day but at the same time stocked up on pg tests! Don't know why, I know there isn't really a chance this month, but thought I would test just for the fun of it.

    Mel - I have been thinking about you and Nicholas all day. I hope you are holding up ok. I know today would have been a hard day. I sat here reading your poem crying, it is absolutely beautiful. Nicholas is a very special boy because he has a wonderful mummy. I'm sorry that af arrived yesterday and I hope she is treating you ok. I hope your DH is ok and will be thinking of you guys on Thursday. I'm sure everything will be fine. You are such a strong person and this is another hurdle that I know you will get over. It isn't fair that these hurdles are put in front of you all the time but I know you will get over them time and time again. Sending you the biggest

    Bailey - I have been thinking of you and Asha today. I hope you are doing ok. I'm sorry that the wicked witch arrived, I hope she is being kind. Take care :hugs:

    Nat - thanks for your call today, sorry I missed you. I will give you a call tomorrow.

    Spring - how are you going today? I have been thinking about you and lil Spring today. I hope your boys didn't keep you up all night barking. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and I hope you have a nice day with DH. It will be great to see him.

    Today has been a very emotional day for many of us, so I think we need a big one of these

    Luv & hugs
    Lynn
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  13. #139

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    Oh Lynn - I am so sorry today has been so hard As you know you have been in my thoughts and I just wish I could do something for you that would make your day better, but I know the only thing you want I cannot give you - I wish with every ounce of my being I could

    An I will definitely be in that

  14. #140

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    I am sorry I haven't been around today. I have read your posts but haven't had time to answer them as I wanted to.
    Lyn I know today has been really hard and I am just so sorry. Please know you are in my thoughts :hugs:

    Mel: I have been thinking of you all day. I looked at Nicholas's photo gallery. He is such a beautiful little boy - I was crying loudly at the end... My heart is breaking for you and Lyn and Bailey and all of the beautiful women in here. Just know you have been with me all day... :hugs:

    Bailey: I know today has been hard for you too. :hugs:

    Nat: I have had you on my mind a lot over this past week. What is happening for you? Are you still on your meds or have you ceased them? Thankyou for asking after me. I am feeling okay. My husband is overseas for 10 days so it's busy at the moment here. My bleeding is almost over and tonight is my first dose of clomid so here we go again... Thinking of you
    Love to you all. I will come back tomorrow when I have a little more time...

  15. #141

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    Hi everyone,
    Thanks for all of your thoughts. It seems as if we have all had a bad day together. Today was actually harder than I thought it would be. AF arrived too I guess that is what made it that bit harder as I was hoping I would be pregnant by now. But not to be. I am going to try not to let it get me down, this has only been my first month of TTC and it does give me an extra month for my cesarean scar to get a little stronger.

    Mel - How are you feeling now? Your poem is beautiful and so sad. I'm sorry you got AF too. I hope your DH is ok, thursday seems too far off for you two to have to wait to see the doctor. I am sure everything will be ok.

    Lynn - A big Happy Birthday to you, even though I know you don't really feel like celebrating. Thanks for your sms today. It made me cry, but in a nice way. I really really hope that AF doesn't arrive for you, I have my fingers crossed for you. I hope you get good results tomorrow.

    Spring - How are you feeling today. What has Lil Spring been up to? Are you feeling any better? I hope so.

    Dream & Flowerchild - Thanks for thinking of me today, it means alot.

    Well, as we said, we've all had a shocker today, but it's almost over so we can all try to have a fresh start tomorrow.


  16. #142

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    Hey girls

    Well today has been an emotional day all round.

    Firstly Lynn I want to say but I also want to respect how difficult today must have been for you. I hope that today was a kind to you as could be. Big :hugs:

    Mel: You deserve a bloody break! I am so sorry that today was difficult for you but I am glad that you got some time out at your sisters on the weekend and some time away from the kids. You have survived today and that is a massive acomplishment. I know you are worried about DH, but I remember how positive you were when I found the lump in my breast, so it is my turn to send you the positive vibes.

    Bailey: How are you today honey? I have been thinking about you and dear little Asha today. Just know that I care about you and I hope that you had an ok day.

    Nat: It is nice to hear from you, how are you? You are such a sweetie and you say such kind words. I can't wait to meet you at the Sydney catch up.

    Flowerchild: Thanks for helping me out last night, you are such a kind woman. I am glad that your bleeding has stopped. I hope you are coping with your Hubby away.

    Well I am feeling completely exhausted and emotional. I haven't had anymore spotting but it put such a terrible fear in me that I just feel stuffed. The storm last night went on and on and I was up until 3.30am (no word of a lie) trying to stop him barking and freaking out. I have spoken to my vet today and we are going to try some mild sedatives on him. The big issue is that he is going to end up hurting himself so I have to do something. DH is also just really down at the moment, he seems so upset. I am glad I am going to see him tomorrow but I hate the fact that I have to leave him.

    Oh well, 5 1/2 weeks down, 13 1/2 to go until he is home. I am also starting to really worry about my 12 week scan which is a week today. I don't know how I am going to cope if there is anything wrong.

    I think I am just overtired and emotional. I have to get up at about 5.00am tomorrow so that I can catch an early plane so off to bed for me.


    Luv Spring

  17. #143

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    Bailey - I am so sorry you have had a rough day. I have been thinking of you, Asha and Lynn today as I knew we were all experiencing such heartache today. I am also sorry AF showed, I understand how hard it is to get through the days, especially days like today, when you so desperately want that baby in your arms, or at the very least growing in your tummy, but I have to believe it will happen for all of us very soon. :hugs: to you today.

    Spring - Thanks for your positive vibes, I hope they work. I dont think I could get through if anything happened to him, I know it sounds dramatic but it has crossed my mind. That is pretty crap that you got so little sleep last night, the sedatives might be a good thing and like you said if anything for their own sake. I know tomorrow will be tough, I think it is a good thing you get see DH but saying goodbye is so hard when you have only had a few hours together. Sleep well tonight - I will be thinking of Harrison tomorrow and sending you all a huge

    Lynn - You are a very special person and I am also sending you more huge :hugs:

    Deb & Nat - I am sorry I made you teary, and thank you for your kindness

  18. #144

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    Thank you again to everyone for their birthday wishes. I too wish you could give me the best present ever.............but I know you can't. Cooper was in my heart today and will be in my dreams tonight.

    Spring - I'm so glad that there is no more spotting. I hope your boys are ok tonight and that they give you some sleep. Sounds like you will need it with your early flight. I know that you want DH to be there for your 12 week scan but I hope I can provide you with some support. I know that you have some fears but just know that I will be there for you for all the good news that you will receive, because that is all that you are going to hear - good news!!. It will be a tough day but we will get through it together, one step at a time :hugs: Get a good nights sleep. Big hugs to you tomorrow. I will be thinking of you.

    Mel - hope you are doing ok

    Bailey - love your positive thinking. I really do think I need to be a bit more positive. It is just so hard at the moment but I think I will try to wake up tomorrow and smile.

    Deb - thank you for thinking of me. How are you going? I hope you are feeling ok - thinking of you.

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