Has anyone heard enough horror stories??

Hi Everyone
I'm new to this forum - I stumbled upon this website when I was looking for a picture of something my widwife was explaining to me on my last visit to the dr.
I am due to have my first baby in 3 weeks (30yo) and I am very excited to see exactly what it is my husband of ten years and I have produced. Har, har. I hope it looks more like him than me!!

Did anyone else have the experience of people (all women) - well meaning to a degree I am sure - passing on horror stories of varying degrees.
When I first announced that I was pregnant at work I was informed by several individuals that I should not have announced it so soon as miscarriage was possible. So pangs of guilt and great concern racked me everyday up until about 20 weeks when I thought I was sure I had hit the "safe period". I've never been pg at all before so who did I think I was announcing this so early???? My Hus and I were just sooooo happy.

Ever since I have had all kinds of horrific labour and birth stories. The latest one was last week when I heard that a girl having a baby didn't listen to the Ob or the Midwife and had to have surgery immediately after to repair the damage. I personally think this is a load of garbage and would like to know why the whole small town in which I live thinks they know this to be true. The next question has to be - why do you feel obligated to tell me???? I frightened of the unknown as it is.

My cousin had her first baby last week, was in labour for five hours and popped out the baby - all good. Why do I never hear these stories.

Anyway, I was just wondering. I was thinking of compiling a book through the journal I have been keeping for new mothers entering the frightening world of the unknown events in a labour ward. I'm sure I'll hear all about horror 'baby and children' stories next.
:wall:

I agree with Shannon, check out the birth stores here. AS she said - they're told as they happen.

And with the girl not listening to her OB, she would've torn abit. Although it CAN happen (but so could alot of things!!) 99.9 percent of the time they dont, and you'll have nothing to worry about!!

Good luck!

Yes, Simone and Shannon you are right. There are really great, positive stories there. The main thing about them is they are "real" and not hear say. Hear say and old wives tales are frightening for new mums like me.

Welcome to bb... I'm due to have my first in 7 weeks time... and have to agree im sick of the horror stories... I tell them all now to shyt up before they start! Scared shytless enuff! lolz!

Hope all goes well, take care :)

Hi Letsypuss! Firstly welcome to BB.
Why dont you come and join us in Feb 15th to 28th thread. You will find it in the belly buddies part. I have had 2 babies so far preg with my third (due 2 days before you) and im happy to announce i have had 2 wonderful births. No stitches/tearing etc. So it can happen. Its not all horror and gory.
Hope to see you in the belly buddies thread!
Jenni

Hi there,

Welcome to BB, and there are some great stories. There was a thread on here a while ago about some of us talking about what we liked/enjoyed about labor and giving birth. I will see if I can find it for you and bump it up!

Scorpiomum - I can't find the thread you're talking about. How do I get there? Dumb question I know - but hey!! Sounds like a great thread!!

lestypuss, I have bumped up the thread I was talking about which is titled Women that enjoy labour and birth! ( sorry I don't know how to post the link) but it is under Labour and birth

heheheh thanks Shannon! LOL

Thank you for everything guys. This is a great website.

lestypuss, Hi and Welcome :D

It is a shame that many see a PG woman and use it as reason to start spouting off horror stories.
It's good to be prepared for the fact that sometimes things do go wrong, but in the majority of cases birth is an uncomplicated and wonderful occasion.

All the best for the remainder of your pregnancy and birth of your bubba :crossfingers:

G'day lestypuss :D

I'm also expecting my first, and so far no horror stories have been given to me! Now whether that's cause I work in a male-dominated industry or my personality, I don't know. But I'm glad either way. Good luck with your pregnancy.

I'm going to go against the grain and say that I WISH I'd been told some horror stories when I was PG with DD!

If I had, then I wouldn't have been soooo naive about the fact that sometimes things just don't go as planned. And then I wouldn't have beaten myself up because I was a "bad mother" because things went other than perfectly! I was NOT in a good state of mind after her birth!

Either way, I'm going back to have another (although it's taken me 9 years!), so it's something I feel was worth experiencing for the joy I now have in my beautiful daughter.

Welcome matey and welcome to the b/buddies group too :)

I worked (finished Friday woohoo) in a really big ofice enviroment and I can tell you I heard every horror story there was going. there was this one woman that must have told me about 4 times about how she could never have children and miscarried 5 times and also each time would tell me about her friend whos baby died in the womb 2 days before her due date. She had to relay that one again last week and I got really upset with her and told her off which I should have done the first time. We stress enough about our baby being ok without having to hear these things, the mind really boggles. Thank goodness for BB and all the beautiful people here :hugs:
Nets

OOOH yeah I had a friend of the family call to say Congrat's then in the same breathe started telling me about her sons ex who was preg & the baby died at 25ish wks... Gee Thanks for that!!!!

Yep Netty and Tracey. That's exactly the sort of stuff I'm talking about. Everyone is different and there is no doubt that people suffer from tragedy - and boy, my heart goes out to people who suffer from horrific numbers of miscarriages and/or still birth.
While finding out you are pg is such an exciting time there is an air of trepidation. I remember sitting on the toilet with the supermarket pregnancy tester thinking - "OMG!!! What have we done?? I'll have to give birth now!" Of course, at the time you don't realise that by the time you get to the end you feel like there was never a time when you weren't pregnant and that your body has to do a heck of a lot of work in between week 1 and 40 to get you to the end point.
Sometimes it seems to me that some people have had horrible experiences and, seeing as you are pg, you would be a great sounding board for their life stories. Most of this sort of information has come from women in my work place and, realistically, these are people I work with. They're not family and I like to keep people at work at a distance.
I found the one thing that really helped me were the midwives at the ante natal classes. They brought realism in to the whole thing. They didn't mince their words and put "frills" on anything. They told it how it is and who better to know than these women that are there everyday?
One midwife told me, "It is not your issue, it is theirs - so don't take it on board." Very true.

Hi Lesty.

My sister said to me at Christmas that she wouldn't let herself get excited about my baby until I was 6m gone "just in case" - didn't stop her telling the world and his wife though. I didn't tell anyone until after the first scan (at 9w, otherwise it would have been after 14w) just in case, plus my husband thought I may have a brain tumour making all the hormones. Actually, I lie, I told the girls in my office the day before the scan because they'd notice me vanishing with my DH for a couple of hours.

I got so p*ssed off with the horror stories I just told people "well, you had more than one so it can't be that bad" and walked off. Well, aside from one friend who did have a complete horror story for both her births and can't have any more children and is still suffering a couple of years on, but she makes sure she doesn't tell pregnant women her story because it is very rare.

I actually work with women who either can't get pregnant or have recurrant miscarriages as part of my job (or I did work - now on leave) and, much as my heart goes out to them, I never thought that there was going to be a problem with something happening to Liebling. I thought we may have more trouble conceiving than we did, but as I'd just finished helping fit and plumb in a bathroom when I found out I was pg (and 8w pg) I figured it would take a lot to shift this baby - and I'm very grateful for that! It really has stopped me worrying now I know just how tough my little darling is and it really has made me feel we are destined to have this baby - although that hasn't stopped me being careful about things.

I'm actually really looking forward to giving birth (but daren't tell people that!) because I can't wait to meet my baby. And the experience - even if it does all "go wrong" then it's still a new experience and, by and large, pregnancy has been such a fantastic experience I can't wait to see what birth is like! (Although I'd never have thought that pre-pregnancy: that was an experience that I wouldn't mind not having then LOL.)

I suppose people are trying to be well meaning and help you with advice - but it gets a little overwhelming, especially in the first trimester. Like I said, by the time you get to the middle of the second trimester you're over it and have probably spoken to some suitably qualified people about your concerns.

I found that in the first trimester you're sort of left out on a limb a bit. I suppose the OBs are waiting for viability and that sort of thing. Then, once that's reasonably assured they'll quite happily move in to the nitty gritty. I could be wrong - but that's what I found.

Ryn it is very considerate of your friend to keep her story to herself. Evidently it would have been very traumatic but she obviously realises it is a rare thing and not necessarily going to happen to you. She obviously sees there is no point in worrying other pg women. But I am sure she would be there for anyone with a similar experience.

Along the same lines of old wives tales (there is some element of truth in this however, you'd still take precautions, wouldn't you?) one of my friends was told by a nay-sayer that there is no way she could get pg while breastfeeding her new daughter. Her second baby is due in March!! Oops.

To quote Jurassic Park (of all things) - "life will find a way".

I think its all part of how birth is evolving and changing to become more medical, women are giving birth in unfavourable positions, in unfavourable environments and not having the support, resources and knowledge they need to birth well. Many are leaving birth 'up to the experts' which they say are obs, and if you look to them for a normal birth, they are trained in things that go wrong and tools to use to make birth quicker. Women and their partners need to educate themselves well, and not through hospital classes, but with things like the Pink Kit and read great books. Popular books are the worst, like 'What to Expect When You Are Expecting.' So many things are setting women up to fail, and they need someone provide an outlet for them - i.e. any pregnant woman they come across. This is only going to get worse if we continue down the same path.

There's my deep and meaningful LOL

My favourite book????

Kaz Cooke's - "Up The Duff"

Great book and extremely informative.

It's a humourous book yes, but wont tell you what you need to know to get through birth as you want it to be :)

No, you are correct - but boy, did I laugh!!!!!

Kelly - is there a list of books you recommend? My friend gave me a lend of what to expect and I can't stand the language they use so haven't read it. All the shops seem to have all the same sorts of books and it is hard to tell what is and what isn't good.

Thanks

Sure do!

Recommended Reading from Conception to Parenthood

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Along the same lines of old wives tales (there is some element of truth in this however, you'd still take precautions, wouldn't you?) one of my friends was told by a nay-sayer that there is no way she could get pg while breastfeeding her new daughter. Her second baby is due in March!! Oops.

To quote Jurassic Park (of all things) - "life will find a way".

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My boss has told my DH this - I'm going to properly insist on the condoms post-birth rather than just leaving it up to DH to pick if he wants to or not. (My boss does some obstetrics, but very much the medical complications rather than the actual birthy stuff.) Yes, a high prolactin can suppress ovulation (and does in the patients he treats for it), but it's not the best contraception ever. And don't tell my husband it is!

Yeah, go the contraception Ryn - unless, of course, you are looking to have the closest thing to twins you can get after having a baby!!! I certainly will be.

Breastfeeding is not a completely reliable contraception. Just goes to show!!

I havent really been told alot of horror stories except for one really, but EVERYONE feels the need to tell me all about such and such who had to have 70 stitches after giving birth, and so and so who nearly had their baby in the lift at the hospital. Everyone just likes to say stupid things like that its going to hurt (what am i? stupid?) Most people who have something to say to me, dont really have any positive things to say. I have however read plenty of positive stories right here on Bellybelly. Its annoying how people find the need to comment with dumb comments.