Printable View
I'm not pregnant yet but hopefully this is my month. What I'm wanting to know though is your thoughts on circumsision. If we have a boy we want to get him circumsised. I am not going to go into the reasons why just yet, I don't know how much would be TMI. I just would like to know your reasons for/against circumsision and if you've had a son who has been circumsised, what where your family's experiences?
Danni, I'm just moving this into the general baby discussion where I think you'll get more answers than in the gentle parenting forum.
We had both our sons circumcised within 6 weeks of birth for religious reasons.
Niether of them had any complications.
Thanks :) I wasn't sure where to put it:
hi daniella
we had our ds done a day after he was born, he is now nearly 7yrs old and there hasn't been a problem. we got him done for some very personal reasons which i will not go into on a public forum
We have a son and we chose not to do it. Our reasoning was pretty straightforward - it's not my penis...it's not my husbands penis....so we don't feel that the decision to alter it permanently in such a way is ours to make.
A few other reasons - we would never even have considered it if he was a girl so could not justify doing it to a boy, and once his foreskin is gone it's gone - if he grew up to feel that he never wanted this procedure done it is irreversible. And we did not see any compelling medical evidence that there is any benefit to it.
But the main reason by far was simply an issue of his personal autonomy - his penis, his choice.
We didn't get our DS done. I don't see any reason for it to be done.
Im hoping this one is a boy and we wont be getting it done. Similar to what Flea said....DD didnt have it done... so why would i do it to my son.
Its not needed unless it is for medical or religious reasons....DH isnt done....and he is fine. Its a personal choice and its one that i would have done....but DH spoke his reason for not doing it and i changed my mind...its up to my son if he wants it or not.
Hi Danni,
I didn't honestly think about it until my DS was born. I asked the midwife about it and she told me it was difficult to get someone to do it and told me all the info about why it shouldn't be done. This caught me off guard and I got quite angry at the time. DH is done so I had thought we would get it done too. DH's family put a lot of pressure on us too to get it done (like it's their business???). BUT I couldn't do it. For me (apart from not wanting to hurt my little bub!) the big thing was I didn't want him to be different. Sounds stupid I know but it's not a common thing anymore, not like it used to be anyway. I didn't want him to be getting changed at footy or the pool or something and notice he was different to most of the other boys. Plus, I figured it's his penis, if he wannts to do it later on he can....like someone else mentioned it's irreversible. I'm not for or against, it is personal thing and everybody has their own reasons. Each to their own, do what you feel is best and right!! :)
I think that the majority in the school change room might depend on where you live. Here in kebabistan uncirced boys are in the minority and in some of the eastern suburbs too.:
As for getting it done later in life - ouch!! I know a Dr who does adult circumcisions and trust me it's much better to get it done earlier than later.
Recent research in Africa and NZ suggests that there are much lower rates of STD's in circumcised men. this is after taking into account cultuarl factors. Of course it's not a sunstitute for safe sex but the figures are pretty convincing. The African study was actually halted early because the scientists conducting it thought that in light of the disparity of infection that it was unethical not to offer circumcision to the uncircumcised group. The American Medical Assosciation is currently reviewing its recomendations on circumcision in light of recent research.
There was a really intresting feature about it in New Scientist recently. I threw out the magazine in a recent purge but my sister and SIL are both subscribers so I should be able to access the online article and post it somewhere *fingers crossed*. I've emailed them both but they're both very busy so they might take a while to reply.
ETA - I'm not quite sure why but I've noticed that people who have worked in old folks homes often say they're getting thier sons circed. I think that for an old/infirm man maintaining the hygiene might be difficult.
It's not a 'cruel' procedure if its done right. I would never subject my children to 'cruelty' and all my boys have been circumcised. Words loke cruel and barbaric are hurtful and unnecessary.
Just want to put my mod hat on for a moment. Can we please just offer our opinions and leave it at that. I would hate for this to turn into another one of "those" threads.
So perhaps if you've already posted your view once maybe leave it at that. There have been 2 links supplied so the previous discussions can be viewed easily.
Thanks guys!
*hugs*
Cailin
When my DS1 was born I had him circumcised at the hospital he was born at. He was done a day after he was born. I was not allowed to go with him when the nurse took him but when he was returned to me the look on his face is burned on my memory and this was in 1992. His face was red from all the crying. Instantly my heart melted and I immediately regretted the decision. The decision had only been based on the fact his father is also circumcised. Big deal his father was! Back when children were born in the 60's the majority of boy babies were circumcised. Even so... the healing went well and my son is almost 15 years and has never had a problem.
Two years later (1994) my DS2 was born and he was not circumcised. Why? Because we live in a clean society. We have clean, running water and hygienic values and my son has been taught how to look after himself. He is almost 13 years and has never had a problem.
At that time a lot of religious folk tried to point to the bible and say it is meant to be done. My reply was and is... the bible was written at a time that required such measures due to the living conditions at the time... sand, dirty, desert, no clean running water, no hygiene values... etc. When DS1 had his foreskin removed there was no anaesthetic but I'm now assuming a local is put in these days. Still, a needle has to be inserted and that is pain enough that no-one would ever want to endure... adult, child or newborn.
In 2006 my DS3 was born and he too is uncircumcised and in time he will be taught how to look after himself, as we girls are taught how to look after ourselves. I hold no judgement to anyone whether they choose to circumcise their baby boy or not, I just didn't get two of my three boys done.
We had our son done,
1st reason because DH is, my dad is, my brother and so on...
2nd reason... I saw my little brother have constant infections as he wouldn’t leave his "noonie" alone!! was halerious... well not really... but he wouldn’t leave it alone for a second!
It is now a plasti bell procedure that takes 5 minutes and is over and done with within 7 days.
When people talk about "why would you get a boy circumcised you wouldn’t circumcise a girl" It is female genital mutilation... not the removal of a tiny piece of excess skin from a baby boy.
I can understand that argument that its the same thing morally but medically its worlds apart.
Good luck with your decision danni...
xoxoxoxo
Just wanted to add that there is no needles involved at all with the plasit bell procedure.... there is a numbing cream that goes on 2 hours before with a reapplication 1 hour before... they stretch the foreskin over the plasti bell and tie a string around the end.... then it falls off :):
Totally agree with the part about the bible too!! its taken out of preportion big time hey!!
I just wanted my boy to look like his dad and the rest of his family... if DH wasnt.. then DS wouldnt have been either....
Each to thier own :)
Boy what a topic!! he he he :P
DH isn't done, and neither of us see any point in having it done, so it wasn't a decision that we had to research and decide. I think after seeing a topic on BB about it, I turned around and asked DH about it and we both just went "nup, we won't get it done" and that was THAT decision made. hehe.
ETA: I didn't see any virtual sparring as I read through the thread?? *confused*
I'm from the 'leave the damned thing alone' camp of forskin philosophy parenting!
Our little boy will be allowed to grow up enjoying his penis as it was intended by mother nature.
The foreskin is an important part of the anatomy which in the vast majority of cases does not cause any problems for the owner at all. Yes, occasionally a health issue may come up necessitating it's removal or adjustment but it's the same with tonsils and apendixes. A far greater number of people have apendectomies and tonsilectomies than medically warrented circumsisions, yet we don't routinely remove those at birth or in infancy do we?
The introduction of non religeous circumsision across the board was introduced in Victorian times when it was seen by puritanical doctors as a way to prevent boys from playing with their penises (aka masturbation). A circumcised penis is just not as sensitive as it gets desensitised from rubbing against underwear and therfor is not as much fun for the owner to play with. One way to compare it to something you ladies may have experienced is if you have ever worn an orthodontic retainer and after many hours of wear, taken it our and run your tongue across the roof of your mouth....it's been protected from sensation and is very sensitive isn't it!
Any of you who have had the chance to compare partners with and without forskins will know that the skin on the glans of a man who has been circ'ed is not nearly as soft and delicate as that of an uncirc'ed man. Same thing.
I have a friend whose older done is done and younger son is left au natural. After seeing how barbaric it was on her eldest, she couldn't do it to her younger one.
A little boy's foreskin requires about as much care and cleaning as his elbow and should be left alone to sepparate when the layers of skin are ready. When a little baby is circumcised, the forskin is actually still fused to the glans and has to be torn away. It's by about the age of 3 that the little layers of skin have matured and sepparated and can be retracted.
You can find some websites that show videos of the circumcision procedure if you're interested.
If you insist that your son must be rid of his forskin without making the decission himself, at least wait until he's 6 months old and can have it done under anesthesia.
Jesse is circumcised and would definately also circumcise any furture sons. We did it for a lot of reasons, but mainly health reasons. The only time he cried during or after the proceedure was when he was getting the local needle. He spent the whole time we had to wait afterwards talking his head off to me and mum. He did not feel any pain during or after the proceedure and wont in the future due to possible infections.
My sister hasnt circumsiced her boys but my friends have. I think its a 50/50 thing these days.
I say, if you have your mind on going for the circumcision, dont let anyone make you feel guilty or bad for your choices because they choose not to and think its cruel. That is just their opinion. It is your decision on what you feel is right for your baby.
I think it depends where you go as Jesse had a local needle, before having the plastibell, not the numbing cream and that was only in October last year.:
i havent had a son but if i did i would definately get him circumsized..
Sorry that this became a bit of a heated topic.
Our reason for wanting it done is that DH is and as far as he's concerned it is not negotiable. I personally think it looks better and also it's kind of for religious reasons too.
Someone posted getting their little boy circumcised because of health issues. I'm a little confused with this because the only health issue would be that the penis was not kept clean ie living in dirty, sandy, squaller conditions. I do not believe this to be the case so what would the medical conditions be? Is it that your baby is a skin condition that needs urgent attention, then I'm sorry for you and your little guy. Is it that you *think* your little guy will not be able to clean himself when he is older... well you could be right, I mean how many men wash their hands after they go wee? Yes, each to their own choices but so long as they're valid reasons and not cosmetic. Another question has anyone seen both in men and had the *pleasure* of receiving both types? I believe the sexual side is not even an issue because the perfomance comes from the man in how he drives it rather than in how it looks!
Actually, it was a decision we BOTH made, his reason was because he is, my reasons I've hardly even gone into. As for what I said about thinking it looks better, that is a very small thing and in no way what I'm basing the decision on. (Although, it may have come across that way). As far as your question: When you say its *kinda* for religious reasons I dont understand ? I don't think anyone needs to really "understand" someone's religious reasons, that is a very personal issue.:
I'm sorry if this post sounds harsh, I just don't know how to get my point across. I really wish now that I hadn't started this thread :wall:
mrmoo, I believe that the poster's son had a very serious infection that required hospitalisation :( this wasn't caused by squalid conditions etc.
Ok lets not question each other.
Sorry guys but you can give your OWN opinion of YOUR situation but please do NOT question others about theirs. It is the ONLY way we can have these discussions without them being heated.
If you have already given your opinion then maybe stay out of the thread?
I do not want to close this thread. But if an argument starts I will.
*hugs*
Cailin
Caro, I'm sorry that I've upset you. I know my comments probably came across harsh, it was not intentional.
While yes we've made up our minds, I did want to hear other people's opinions for/against it because we have actually not even looked into any reasoning, it was just a conversation we had one day and both had the same answers to.
This thread has actually opened up my eyes quite a bit and I think that we might have to really work out the pros & cons and re-think our decision based on education (it might still be a yes though). I'm not saying that I have doubts, but perhaps I and DH need to actually do the research.
Thank you all for your opinions, even the very strong opinions.
Hi danni.. we had DS circ at 3 days old, in hospy, i was with him and he only made a wimper.. straight on the breast and then fell asleep .
We knew from 19 weeks that we were expecting a boy and it really took us this long to make all our research and discuss it with medical professionals etc.. i found that the best person to talk to was actually my OB and my Mothercraft nurse i had for Olivia. They both gave non biased information which is really what you need, rather than having someone tell you what is best for Your Son, and their personal opinions.
we have had DS done.. thats that.. the reason is personal and i will not be discussing it in a public forum.
hi again Danni
i have a interesting article from the American Academy of Peads about this i fyou would like to read it i can email it to you.. just leave your email addy and ill pop it across.. xox
Guys I'm going to have to lock this thread now. It was merely a question as to your reasons why or why not you've made a decision to circumsize or not but it's turned into people questioning others reasons & that's not on.
If you have any problems with this email me at sarah_h@bellybelly.com.au , please do not enter into discussions about this thread elsewhere as those posts will be deleted.