thread: Delicate question re baby boys

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jan 2007
    where cosmopolitans and margaritas flow all night

    Delicate question re baby boys

    I'm not pregnant yet but hopefully this is my month. What I'm wanting to know though is your thoughts on circumsision. If we have a boy we want to get him circumsised. I am not going to go into the reasons why just yet, I don't know how much would be TMI. I just would like to know your reasons for/against circumsision and if you've had a son who has been circumsised, what where your family's experiences?

  2. #2

    Mar 2004

    Danni, I'm just moving this into the general baby discussion where I think you'll get more answers than in the gentle parenting forum.

    We had both our sons circumcised within 6 weeks of birth for religious reasons.
    Niether of them had any complications.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jan 2007
    where cosmopolitans and margaritas flow all night

    Danni, I'm just moving this into the general baby discussion where I think you'll get more answers than in the gentle parenting forum.
    Thanks I wasn't sure where to put it

  4. #4
    mooshie Guest

    hi daniella

    we had our ds done a day after he was born, he is now nearly 7yrs old and there hasn't been a problem. we got him done for some very personal reasons which i will not go into on a public forum

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Member
    Add Tobily on Facebook

    May 2004

    We have a son and we chose not to do it. Our reasoning was pretty straightforward - it's not my penis...it's not my husbands penis....so we don't feel that the decision to alter it permanently in such a way is ours to make.
    A few other reasons - we would never even have considered it if he was a girl so could not justify doing it to a boy, and once his foreskin is gone it's gone - if he grew up to feel that he never wanted this procedure done it is irreversible. And we did not see any compelling medical evidence that there is any benefit to it.
    But the main reason by far was simply an issue of his personal autonomy - his penis, his choice.

  6. #6
    Fee Guest

    We didn't get our DS done. I don't see any reason for it to be done.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jul 2006

    Im hoping this one is a boy and we wont be getting it done. Similar to what Flea said....DD didnt have it done... so why would i do it to my son.

    Its not needed unless it is for medical or religious reasons....DH isnt done....and he is fine. Its a personal choice and its one that i would have done....but DH spoke his reason for not doing it and i changed my mind...its up to my son if he wants it or not.
    Last edited by visitor1; March 6th, 2007 at 09:56 PM.

  8. #8
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...

    You can read some recent discussions on circumcision HERE and HERE.

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2007
    on the sunny Eastern Shore

    Hi Danni,
    I didn't honestly think about it until my DS was born. I asked the midwife about it and she told me it was difficult to get someone to do it and told me all the info about why it shouldn't be done. This caught me off guard and I got quite angry at the time. DH is done so I had thought we would get it done too. DH's family put a lot of pressure on us too to get it done (like it's their business???). BUT I couldn't do it. For me (apart from not wanting to hurt my little bub!) the big thing was I didn't want him to be different. Sounds stupid I know but it's not a common thing anymore, not like it used to be anyway. I didn't want him to be getting changed at footy or the pool or something and notice he was different to most of the other boys. Plus, I figured it's his penis, if he wannts to do it later on he can....like someone else mentioned it's irreversible. I'm not for or against, it is personal thing and everybody has their own reasons. Each to their own, do what you feel is best and right!!

  10. #10

    Mar 2004

    It isnt my penis , It isnt my husbands penis (and my dh has been circ'd and has NO problems in the whole look like dad bizzo because its more against Circ than for these days so the fors aer in the minority at the school chnge rooms which is where any comparing is going to happen more so than with his father besides they are going to have different everything elses!)

    ITs our sons penis and if later in life he chooses to have it done under amasthetic then that will be his choice
    I think that the majority in the school change room might depend on where you live. Here in kebabistan uncirced boys are in the minority and in some of the eastern suburbs too.
    As for getting it done later in life - ouch!! I know a Dr who does adult circumcisions and trust me it's much better to get it done earlier than later.

    Recent research in Africa and NZ suggests that there are much lower rates of STD's in circumcised men. this is after taking into account cultuarl factors. Of course it's not a sunstitute for safe sex but the figures are pretty convincing. The African study was actually halted early because the scientists conducting it thought that in light of the disparity of infection that it was unethical not to offer circumcision to the uncircumcised group. The American Medical Assosciation is currently reviewing its recomendations on circumcision in light of recent research.
    There was a really intresting feature about it in New Scientist recently. I threw out the magazine in a recent purge but my sister and SIL are both subscribers so I should be able to access the online article and post it somewhere *fingers crossed*. I've emailed them both but they're both very busy so they might take a while to reply.

    ETA - I'm not quite sure why but I've noticed that people who have worked in old folks homes often say they're getting thier sons circed. I think that for an old/infirm man maintaining the hygiene might be difficult.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Mar 2006

    It's not a 'cruel' procedure if its done right. I would never subject my children to 'cruelty' and all my boys have been circumcised. Words loke cruel and barbaric are hurtful and unnecessary.
    Last edited by hannanat; March 7th, 2007 at 11:40 AM.

  12. #12
    Add Rouge on Facebook

    Jun 2003

    Just want to put my mod hat on for a moment. Can we please just offer our opinions and leave it at that. I would hate for this to turn into another one of "those" threads.

    So perhaps if you've already posted your view once maybe leave it at that. There have been 2 links supplied so the previous discussions can be viewed easily.

    Thanks guys!


  13. #13
    mrmoo Guest

    When my DS1 was born I had him circumcised at the hospital he was born at. He was done a day after he was born. I was not allowed to go with him when the nurse took him but when he was returned to me the look on his face is burned on my memory and this was in 1992. His face was red from all the crying. Instantly my heart melted and I immediately regretted the decision. The decision had only been based on the fact his father is also circumcised. Big deal his father was! Back when children were born in the 60's the majority of boy babies were circumcised. Even so... the healing went well and my son is almost 15 years and has never had a problem.

    Two years later (1994) my DS2 was born and he was not circumcised. Why? Because we live in a clean society. We have clean, running water and hygienic values and my son has been taught how to look after himself. He is almost 13 years and has never had a problem.

    At that time a lot of religious folk tried to point to the bible and say it is meant to be done. My reply was and is... the bible was written at a time that required such measures due to the living conditions at the time... sand, dirty, desert, no clean running water, no hygiene values... etc. When DS1 had his foreskin removed there was no anaesthetic but I'm now assuming a local is put in these days. Still, a needle has to be inserted and that is pain enough that no-one would ever want to endure... adult, child or newborn.

    In 2006 my DS3 was born and he too is uncircumcised and in time he will be taught how to look after himself, as we girls are taught how to look after ourselves. I hold no judgement to anyone whether they choose to circumcise their baby boy or not, I just didn't get two of my three boys done.

  14. #14
    BellyBelly Member

    Dec 2006
    Caboolture QLD

    We had our son done,
    1st reason because DH is, my dad is, my brother and so on...
    2nd reason... I saw my little brother have constant infections as he wouldn’t leave his "noonie" alone!! was halerious... well not really... but he wouldn’t leave it alone for a second!

    It is now a plasti bell procedure that takes 5 minutes and is over and done with within 7 days.

    When people talk about "why would you get a boy circumcised you wouldn’t circumcise a girl" It is female genital mutilation... not the removal of a tiny piece of excess skin from a baby boy.
    I can understand that argument that its the same thing morally but medically its worlds apart.

    Good luck with your decision danni...

  15. #15
    BellyBelly Member

    Dec 2006
    Caboolture QLD

    When DS1 had his foreskin removed there was no anaesthetic but I'm now assuming a local is put in these days. Still, a needle has to be inserted and that is pain enough that no-one would ever want to endure... adult, child or newborn.
    Just wanted to add that there is no needles involved at all with the plasit bell procedure.... there is a numbing cream that goes on 2 hours before with a reapplication 1 hour before... they stretch the foreskin over the plasti bell and tie a string around the end.... then it falls off
    Totally agree with the part about the bible too!! its taken out of preportion big time hey!!
    I just wanted my boy to look like his dad and the rest of his family... if DH wasnt.. then DS wouldnt have been either....
    Each to thier own

    Boy what a topic!! he he he :P

  16. #16
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2005
    Blue Mountains

    DH isn't done, and neither of us see any point in having it done, so it wasn't a decision that we had to research and decide. I think after seeing a topic on BB about it, I turned around and asked DH about it and we both just went "nup, we won't get it done" and that was THAT decision made. hehe.

    ETA: I didn't see any virtual sparring as I read through the thread?? *confused*

  17. #17
    BellyBelly Member

    Aug 2006
    ex-Melbourne girl in Hong Kong

    I'm from the 'leave the damned thing alone' camp of forskin philosophy parenting!

    Our little boy will be allowed to grow up enjoying his penis as it was intended by mother nature.

    The foreskin is an important part of the anatomy which in the vast majority of cases does not cause any problems for the owner at all. Yes, occasionally a health issue may come up necessitating it's removal or adjustment but it's the same with tonsils and apendixes. A far greater number of people have apendectomies and tonsilectomies than medically warrented circumsisions, yet we don't routinely remove those at birth or in infancy do we?

    The introduction of non religeous circumsision across the board was introduced in Victorian times when it was seen by puritanical doctors as a way to prevent boys from playing with their penises (aka masturbation). A circumcised penis is just not as sensitive as it gets desensitised from rubbing against underwear and therfor is not as much fun for the owner to play with. One way to compare it to something you ladies may have experienced is if you have ever worn an orthodontic retainer and after many hours of wear, taken it our and run your tongue across the roof of your mouth....it's been protected from sensation and is very sensitive isn't it!

    Any of you who have had the chance to compare partners with and without forskins will know that the skin on the glans of a man who has been circ'ed is not nearly as soft and delicate as that of an uncirc'ed man. Same thing.

    I have a friend whose older done is done and younger son is left au natural. After seeing how barbaric it was on her eldest, she couldn't do it to her younger one.

    A little boy's foreskin requires about as much care and cleaning as his elbow and should be left alone to sepparate when the layers of skin are ready. When a little baby is circumcised, the forskin is actually still fused to the glans and has to be torn away. It's by about the age of 3 that the little layers of skin have matured and sepparated and can be retracted.

    You can find some websites that show videos of the circumcision procedure if you're interested.

    If you insist that your son must be rid of his forskin without making the decission himself, at least wait until he's 6 months old and can have it done under anesthesia.

  18. #18
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    The Hawkesbury

    Jesse is circumcised and would definately also circumcise any furture sons. We did it for a lot of reasons, but mainly health reasons. The only time he cried during or after the proceedure was when he was getting the local needle. He spent the whole time we had to wait afterwards talking his head off to me and mum. He did not feel any pain during or after the proceedure and wont in the future due to possible infections.
    My sister hasnt circumsiced her boys but my friends have. I think its a 50/50 thing these days.

    I say, if you have your mind on going for the circumcision, dont let anyone make you feel guilty or bad for your choices because they choose not to and think its cruel. That is just their opinion. It is your decision on what you feel is right for your baby.