Trying to grieve against family wish's
I'm new to this, i've had a read of some of the stories people have posted and i have decided to also tell my story. This really seems like a place where women can relate and understand eachother.
I am blessed to have a two healthy boys, a 2 year old and a 5 year old. I have just experienced a MC after 6 weeks, and i haven't had any support from my family. My husband has been great but everyone else expects me to get over it and i'm told i shouldn't be worried or upset i already have children and that i can have more.
I don't see it that way, yes i am lucky to already have children but does that mean i'm not entitled to feel the loss? What hurts the most is that because we have two children we had everything basically planned for the third. I had been trying for 9 months to concieve and when i did i was over the moon. We were looking at buying bunks for the boys so they could share a room, i was trying to organise myelf at work so that i could perhaps stay home with the baby for a while etc.
So as you can imagine, the baby was good as born. I can't understand why people around me quickly disregard my anguish and tell me i can have more. Who are they to say that? I've had to push people away like that right now because i can't deal with them. All i know is if i don't deal with this how i feel most comfortable, it may haunt me in my future attempts to concieve. Has anyone else experienced anything similar? How did you cope?
My Response to all the wonderful women you cared to share my story
Curl, Csab, lulu2, LiZjessie, AuntyM & Rowie,
Thank you all for sharing your stories and your heartfelt apologies, i know i've done the right thing by sharing my story with you all.
I'm exhausted from visiting the hospital and i feel mentally drained. I haven't returned to work yet, i just need a little more time. I still have HCG levels in my blood so i still feel like i'm pregnant physically but mentally i don't.
if anything at the moment i have been letting my kids know how much i love and appreciate them. I have never had this kind of loss before and i can't help but feel bad for all you other ladies that have experienced far worse. I do know life goes on, we are battlers by nature, nothing is as strong as a mothers love and we do amazing things to preserve this.
I went to my sons first sports carnival yesterday with my husband and watched our son proudly. While i was basking in the beautiful sun, i wrote a poem which i would like to share with you;
Opportunies present themselves at any given moment
So envolved in current torment to even consider involvement
Days are passing really slow
still not sure which way to go
Those around me are unsure
How to treat an aching sore
They quickly dismiss the pain i feel
And tell me to move on, i will heal
In time i agree i will heal
But the anguish now, it is so real
Plans were made, accomodation too
Unfortunately now, it won't be seen through
Hoping in the future, things will go my way
I may carry for 9 months and celebrate a birthday
So many women are so kind
To give comforting words at a grieving time
We keep going so that we can remain
Mentally healthy so we can try again.....
A Big hug to all of you amazing women, thank you for making me feel welcome.:pray: