am i being naive to think i can have a natural birth?

i'm looking for some reassurance here that i am not comletely naive to think i can do this without pain relief. so please, your stories, experiences, reassurances are all welcomed here!!i have to give my ob my birth plan tomorrow and i really want to be able to say- "i know the pain relief options that are available, please don't offer them to me. if i want them i'll ask". we had our birthing class today, and we were the ONLY couple who were attempting a natural birth. people were looking at me like i was a naive little girl who really had no idea. i felt really deflated as i was sure there would be other people who felt the same way. we were also the only couple that didn't know the sex of our baby- but that's a whole nother story!!! seriously, we felt like circus freaks at one stage there!!! ok, i'm exagerating now, but i would like some reassurance from you guys that it is something i can do, cos i left there really doubting myself. i'd love to hear from people who have gone in there with this intention, and how it worked out. thank you in advance :)

I dont think your being naive at all and if you are then so am I. I am going to try for a completly natural birth, my plan is to stay at home for as long as possible so there is less time for hospital staff to badger me about pain releif. My DH knows my intentions and will be supporting me all the way. With him by my side encouraging me and reminding me that I am strong and that my body CAN do this I am confident.
I would rather go into labour trying to do it all naturally and fail then not try at all.

Oh Gracie

It is so sad isnt it that other people judge...and love to put the 'negative' on it all

but guess what? you can so totally have a natural birth...its what our bodies are designed for, its just a matter of going with the process of labor and birth and not trying to control it

I think you should be so very proud of yourself for wanting to do it your way..yay for you :D

I wont post my birth story...its on my web page if you want to have a peak...birth can be a beautiful and empowering expereince, and you are certainly on the right path to achieve what you want for yourself and your beautiful baby

xx yogababy

not at all!! sooo many people do have drug free births every day!! plus most people in birth classes are on there first baby and dont know what to expect!! dont listen to what anyone tells you,its your birth and how you want to do it!! people shoud be supporting you not looking down on you!!

I think it is very very naive of the other parents to assume that it is too hard to have a natural birth. If that is what you want then no one has the right to laugh you off and say 'yeah, right' and then preceed to tell you their horror stories. You've done your homework and know what is available to you if you want it. That said there is also no point in being a martyr and simply refusing it on principle either kwim?

I have every confidence that you will get the birth that you want Gracie but if you change your mind then that is perfectly fine too - we do what we have to do. I think it would be interesting to see a follow up of your class after all the bubs are born and see just how many who went the whole kit and caboodle of pain relief and were unsastisfied with their births ;)

Gracie, good on you for wanting a natural birth, it is in the very low percent of people who do have one these days. Less than 3% of women in hospitals are having normal physiological births (thats with no thrid stage injections, pain relief, nothing). It's not because it's not possible, but the environment and socienty. I think the thing is you need to know and be aware of is what you are up against. Being in a private hospital with an Ob, you have a tougher job than in other environments :)

If you want a natural birth, it's important to surround yourself in an environment with carers who will help you have the best chance of that, those who believe in you and your ability to birth naturally and don't see birth as a minefield. The people I think are 'misguided' are the ones who write a birth plan saying they want a natural birth, but don't do anything about it, they don't educate themselves, plan and make sure they are prepared and supported for that, and think it will just happen! You don't just get what you write on the paper for your birth plan - you have to work for it and educate yourself!

Ways you can help to have a natural birth is to attend independent birth classes (check out Rhea Dempsey's classes), choose low risk birth facilities, like a birth centre or homebirth, educate yourself about the risks of drugs so that you have a real reason not to want them... and what I mean by that is someone saying they just dont want drugs so they can say that they had a natural birth - well thats not going to hold them in labour when the going gets tough. Knowing why, e.g. not wanting to have a c/s, or their baby to be exposed to those drugs for xxx reason, is going to give you more of a reason to hold on. You need to be committed, educated and supported. Get a doula or private midwife to support you.

Read the right books and not the popular commerical books like Up the Duff and What to Expect When You Are Expecting. Check out BB's recommended reading list, and there is also an article about aiming for a natural birth on the main site. Good luck :)

Gracie you're not being naive at all! In fact its quite wonderful and empowering for you to be taking control of your choices there, as its your birth and you have every right to have want to enjoy it without the intrusion of any drugs or intervention. I can also say that it is indeed possible, there are many many women around here who've given birth without drugs, and imagine all the women who did so before drugs and intervention became mainstream! Your body is designed to do this on its own :)

Personally i also received much flack for not wanting an epidural, even had people laughing and rolling their eyes. So it was great when i was able to say that i didn't have the epidural and that it had been a great experience. So stick to your guns... in many cases i think people are just make these commments based upon their own experiences.

aahhh, i feel better already...reassurance...
katie- it's good to know you have the same intentions. are you waiting to go into your labour now? your ticker indicates that your overdue is that right or am i reading it wrong?
yogababy- yes can i look on your website please?
thanks maddysmummy- i agree with you...i think they're all just a little scared too cos it's their first birth too. it is very overwhelming isn't it?
sherie- i totally agree with you about not being a martyr. i've accepted that i may not succeed in my plan, but i really want to give it a good shot iykwim??

just click on the Yoga Baby Bliss on my signature and it will take you thru :)

Gracie, that's the starting point - knowing that you want it. I really can't see why women are ridiculed for wanting to do it naturally - afterall it is the most natural thing a woman can do so why interfere with that? You know that in yourself you are determined to do it and the more determined you are the more likely you will succeed.

kelly- thank you for your advice. i will check out those classes...and the truth is i wish i knew that about obs and private hospitals when i first fell pg. i had no idea!! and thought it was the best option. i have read the articles on your website about birth plans and needing to have a reason to back you up. i also downloaded the one on there to guide me, so thanks for that..do you know the funniest thing about your post? every second couple today had read 'up the duff' and 'what to expect when you're expecting' and nothing else. too funny!!

ourlux- great to hear your story..thank you

oh, forgot to say, i'm gonna read New Active Birth too!

Gracie, yep I am overdue (only 2 days) and waiting for labour to start. I am sure we will both be fine and get through our labours nicely, with the added bonus at the end of knowing we did it (or at least tried to doit) naturally. I am just going to stay positive and remind myself that my body is made for birth and I CAN do it.

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kelly- thank you for your advice. i will check out those classes...and the truth is i wish i knew that about obs and private hospitals when i first fell pg. i had no idea!! and thought it was the best option. i have read the articles on your website about birth plans and needing to have a reason to back you up. i also downloaded the one on there to guide me, so thanks for that..do you know the funniest thing about your post? every second couple today had read 'up the duff' and 'what to expect when you're expecting' and nothing else. too funny!!

ourlux- great to hear your story..thank you

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Hi Gracie,
My labour was natural and drug free, with an OB in a private hospital, without a written birth plan, so it is not necessarily a bad option! I had my husband supporting me, midwife came and went but provided minimal support and that was all that was needed. Like you, I wanted a natural birth. It wasn't until the very end that I considered requesting pain relief by which time I was ready to push (so didn't even ask for it - as my focus changed to pushing). YOU WILL DO IT!!! Also, I used a TENS machine and found it most helpful to work through my contractions. Without this, I don't think I would have done it without pain relief............. Good luck, your positive attitude and belief in your ability to do it will definately make a difference.

The only naive thing I can see is believing hospital staff will adhere to your request not to push pain relief; that's what I believed too and now distrust hospital births even more.

I had a posterior bub and was pushing before I got so tired of fighting the midwives I agreed to pain relief. It really isn't painful so long as you accept it's not the most comfortable thing you'll ever do.

Gracie, good on you for deciding that you want a natural birth. What a sad state of affairs it is though that this is an unusual thing to want or plan though.

I had my last baby at home, and constantly got questioned about the drugs and told how brave I was. Simple, there are none !! I don't go into labour with a plan to need pain relief, I have a shower, a bath, massage and that's about it really. It wasn't about being brave either, it was just my choice.

I plan on doing exactly the same for this babies birth and fingers crossed all goes well.

On the other hand hun, if when the time comes that you do need some pain relief there is nothing wrong with that either. Labour and birth hurts, it's as simple as that. It's how you deal with that hurt that's up to you.

Goodluck for your impending birth. I wish you well and hope you come back to post your story afterwards.

Oh BTW, why not have a read through the birth stories on here. Mine is in there somewhere too. Although it will be a little diff to what you may be after, as like I said, it's at home. :D

Gracie - you're in good company right where you are! Up here in the hills there is change happening in attitudes. Yeah, it's taking its time, but we've got some pretty good people who are all too willing to talk about natural birth to normalise it!
I read Up The Duff and was appalled by its messages. What to Expect wasn't too bad, I did take away some good things about diet (making every bite count...although I didn't eat 100% perfectly, I did a lot of the time!) that I still use now, for breastfeeding. DP read "So, you're going to be a dad" just before we did our HypnoBirthing class (and during our FBC birth classes), and when I read a bit, I asked him not to bother reading it (he hadn't read much of it), because I was not going to have the kind of birth that book prepares you for!
New Active Birth is excellent, as is Janet's Waterbirth (even if you're not planning to give birth in water!). I wish I had read Sarah Buckley's Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering before the birth, but we did well without it.
As much as having a good birth is a great thing because it sets you up better for the next part, you might do well to think abotu the next part, too! So, with that in mind, I would recommend Pinky Mackay's Parenting by Heart, as well as having a good browse through the Ask Dr Sears website.
If you can get your hands on it, I absolutely recommend reading a book called The Vital Touch, by Sharon Heller. Beg, borrow or steal! For me it's a reference point when I start to doubt myself and the kind of parenting I want to do.
All these books get you back in touch with your intuition, because it's always there, it's just often ignored especially where there is peer pressure!
I was scoffed at (sometimes heartily!) when people asked about my intentions for our birth, and I early on developed a retort (either to say in my head, or more often than not out loud), and that is "Bite me". It really helped!
Put it this way, I am surrounded by women who have had one or more children already. They had births I didn't want to replicate. I knew what I wanted and I could picture it. I didn't have their support, but that was ok because I had my partner's support. Here's an honest admission; when my waters broke and we had told the FBC that we were on our way, I had doubts about my ability to stick out my plan. Turns out this was what Kelly has referred to previously as a Crisis in Confidence (or something like that), that happens near or at transition (correct me if I'm wrong!). That's fine, I can deal with that. However, as much as I love my friends dearly, it is with a tinge of bitterness that I recall thinking to myself during this very temporary crisis "Who the hell did I think I was? I was so ****y, I thought I could 'cheat' the system and have this zen birth". I did end up regaining myself and 'cheating the system' anyway, but I really resent that at the last moment, their negativity fed that crisis a little more than it needed and I did feel naive. Thank goodness I had a brilliant midwife who recentred me, and my partner used no words, just actions that brought me back to my aims.
Stick to your game plan and you never know, you may even affect someone in your circle and influence them to believe in themselves more, too.
Actually, you know what would help? I think you should come to the next Vic girls lunch in Ringwood (3 Sept) at the Coach and Horses - it really helps to be in the physical presence of supportive people to give you something to go on! And when you're closer to your due date, consider coming along to the local breastfeeding group of ABA. You'll get heaps of support there, too :)
Long post, sorry!

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i wish i knew that about obs and private hospitals when i first fell pg. i had no idea!! and thought it was the best option

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Gracie I might not have technically had a natural birth but I had no pain relief (gas when you are 9cm dilated doesn't do much LOL!) and pushed my posterior-presentation son out with no forceps or vacuum in a private hospital with an OB. So if you read up all you can, your DP/DH/birth partner is ready for it and supportive, and you believe you can do it then you are giving it your best shot :)

You are not being naive at all!! I had the same experience when I was having my DD (even my mum would roll her eyes at me and say just wait until you are in labour!!) I just went into it believing that I wouldn't need the drugs and I didn't. I think most of the pain of childbirth is in our heads, once you get past that it really isn't that bad. Now I am sitting here waiting to have my second little monkey (sex UNKNOWN!!!! we choose not to find out too) and I am actually looking forward to the whole birthing process. Just relax and believe that your body can do it and you will :)

Obs & private hospitals aren't always the worst option Jac, but statistically, you are more likely to have a c/s and intervention by a long shot if you have that care. Not always going to be that way of course, not saying it is as, nothing is 100% in labour, but it's worth stating that as fact so women know.

Gracie - I had people roll their eyes when I said I really wanted to avoid pain relief. In the end I chose who to talk about it to & who not to. I only discussed it with those who were supportive. This may sound silly, but in a way all the negatives from other people just made me more determined to prove them wrong ;)

I had another support person other than DH - so I can highly recommend getting a Doula. It just made me feel more confident that I had someone else there to help me through it.

thank you so much for all your reassurances!!! it is important for me to know that other people have done it...i was just feeling really insecure last night when i started this post. my dp is very supportive and has in fact, had an epidural himself when he had a motorbike accident and fully supports and agrees with my desire to try not to have one. he has a strong belief in the ability of my body, and reckons my instincts will kick in and take over and that i'll be great. he makes me feel heaps better. i've been doing heaps of reading- have gots lots more books to add to my 'wanted list' now (thanks mayaness!!!). i basically read the books and then summarise them and tell dp all about them (he doesn't read at all). we've been doing lots of talking- heaps of it last night actually and he is a big believer in my abilities. thank you everyone

I am also hoping for a natural birth. Unfortunately due to GD I may be induced a bit early so I am not sure how it will all fit together. DH is very willing to support me and help me get through without drugs - we know what is there if it is needed but I plan to try all other options first. My hospital doesn't have a problem with physiological third stage, provided there isn't too much bleeding.

I have not discussed pain relief with anyone other than DH. A few people have told me to go straight for the epidural, I just nod my head and let it go.

I am just hoping that I will go into labour before 39 weeks to avoid the induction pressure from the hospital.

BTW, we also don't know the gender of the baby - I am hoping the curiosity will be a bit of inspiration if I start to run out of steam during labour.

Gracie - Sounds like you have fantastic support from your husband - that's great! That is so important!

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A few people have told me to go straight for the epidural, I just nod my head and let it go.

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Great idea. That's what I ended up doing. Because if that's what they had they will feel passionately about it, which is fine, but I'd rather just do my own thing IYKWIM.

artechim- i agree about not knowing the sex providing more inspiration during labour. i'm dying to know what it is!

Artechim, I would recommend reading THIS article by Henci Goer and also you will find in the Cochrane Database, they have found that inductions for suspected fetal macrosomia (big for dates babies) result in more c/s without improving outcomes.

Also this is from my induction article, of particular interest is the midwife's story:

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Induction For Gestational Diabetes
Even where there is a medical condition involved, for example, Gestational Diabetes, it is worth researching and asking your Obstetrician and / or Midwife to see if induction is going to offer more risk than benefit. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has published a study which you can read here (which you might like to print out and show your own Ob), which concludes:

“Based on data from observational studies, labor induction for suspected fetal macrosomia (large baby) results in an increased cesarean delivery rate without improving perinatal outcomes.”

They state:

“Summary statistics for the nine observational studies showed that, compared with those whose labor was induced, women who experienced spontaneous onset of labor had a lower incidence of cesarean delivery and higher rates of spontaneous vaginal delivery. No differences were noted in rates of operative vaginal deliveries, incidence of shoulder dystocia, or abnormal Apgar scores in the analyses of the observational or randomized studies.“

Apart from this, not many Gestational Diabetes babies or other babies believed to be ‘huge’ end up being born abnormally ‘huge’. I have heard more stories of these babies being born early through recommended inductions only to arrive tiny, of average size or to have breathing problems due to unexpected pre-maturity. One midwife recalls a birth in early 2006:

“Overuse of inductions is a real concern to me. So many women coming in for induction and the reasons seem so vague sometimes. I was involved in a birth a few weeks ago where the woman was induced because of previous macrosomic (big for dates) baby. She had gestational diabetes with that pregnancy and previous shoulder dystocia (first baby, this was her 3rd). We attempted induction at 36 weeks and it failed. Induction was again attempted at 37 weeks which was successful – baby was only 2750g – hardly macrosomic! The ultrasound had estimated a baby weighing 3500g so it wasn’t even close. I think if she had that baby at the first induction attempt at 36 weeks it would have had to go into Special Care as it would have been under 2500g which is our cut off. Frightening.”

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Thanks Kelly, I have read just about every googleable resource on GD and can't find any reason for induction, provided that the BSL are controlled. After questioning the doctor, she changed it from induction at 38 weeks to 39 weeks. I think it was because she didn't have any real reason except the standard 'increased risk of still-birth'. I have had a sizing scan and it showed a completely average baby. I will hold off as long as I can, to me it seems there is more risk involved in a failed induction.

bought a copy of New Active Birth on ebay -it got posted today so i'll be able to start reading it this week!

Woo hoo Gracie. That's great - I think you will find it a huge help. I know you are going to have a great birth experience - knowledge is power!!

thanks mel, i'm hoping it comes in the mail today. got it for $11. what a bargain. i can't work out why habs are so expensive on there though. there's one in the exact colour i want on there but it's $90!! ok, i'm going off topic now....hope to start reading the book tonight..

Gracie - I wanted to have a natural birth for my first, and people thought I was mad too. I didn't write a birth plan for her, but I did tell the Ob that I wanted to be left alone as much as possible. As it happened, he was only there for the last 1 1/2 hours of herbirth and the midwife and my DH supported me through my labour. I was in a private hospital too, and the midwives were fantastic. My labour was 7 1/2 hours, and the pushing was the hardest as the Ob had me lie down (NOT RECOMMENDED!!!) to deliver her. I had 6 stitches though and I think that was also due to the fact that I was laying down (so effectively pushing up hill).
For Nicholas, I wrote a birth plan, did hypnobirthing classes had the full support of my DH and my Ob for a natural labour. I stayed home as long as possible and spent time in the shower. My sister came to watch my girls, and also helped me during that first stage of labour. She thought I was mad too! By the time I got to the hospital, I was 9cms dilated. The Ob sat in the corner of the room, while the midwife and my DH supported me through the rest of my labour (which was only another 1/2 an hour!!). I delivered Nicholas standing up, with the midwife in "catching" position. It was beautiful and very peaceful, and was just short of 3 hours from start to finish.

Good luck to you, have faith in yourself and in the fact that your body was made to do this. I wish you the best of luck with your labour!
xx

Hi Gracie and Ladies!

I am expecting my first baby in 4 weeks or so and I too am quite determined to have a birth with a minimum of intervention (fingers crossed!). I read a book called 'A Labour of Love' by a Perth based doula named Gabrielle Targett - and it was fantastic! I can't recommend it enough. The book is written in such a reassuring and positive way - and made me believe that my body is perfectly capable doing what it is intended to do! :)

Best wishes!

Hey all the best Gracie and Possum!

I had a drug free birth, my body actually took over and it never occurred to me once to want drugs, the hormones in my body (and maybe the fact I had a waterbirth, which eased pain) provided all the pain relief I needed!

I had an injection to hurry the placenta out, which totally wasn't in my birth plan, but I was losing too much blood and they wanted to figure out what was up - I was pretty out of it by then, but I know my birth support partners would have said something if they'd thought it wasn't necessary. Oh, and I had gas for when I was getting stitched up, cos I tore - I didn't even realise I'd torn!

I had people go 'oh you won't be able to go drug free, you'll be begging for an epidural'. I don't know why people try to discourage other people. But there you go, not only can you go drug free - it might be heaps easier than you think because of your body's ability to birth!

Hi everyone!

I am so glad I came across this thread! Over the next few weeks, whenever I hear negative comments or am feeling a little vulnerable about what I want, I will come back to this thread and re-read everyone's positive and reassuring comments! Isn't it too bad that most people respond negatively when they hear that you want give birth without a 'cascade of intervention'?

Many thanks! :)

I had two totally natural births, both VBACs.
I think of it as an athletic endeavour, for want of a better comparison. It IS hard work, but it's work your body was perfectly designed to do. It is one of life's great experiences.
For those who might think I was lucky, I don't have a great obstetric history and I did not have especially easy labours/deliveries. Both labours were long. My first VBAC presented ROP and delivered face up. My 2nd had an elbow up by his head and it took an amazing amount of time and hip swinging for him to get the message and finally pull it down. However, I had carefully chosen my caregivers. For the first, i had a private midwife and delivered in a freestanding birth centre. . The midwife and her assistant were with me the entire time--all monitoring was done by regular auscultation--and most of all they were calmly sure that a VBAC was very straightforward. For the second, I went through the public system with a small team of midwives who cared for me, and had an underwater birth in the teaching hospital. I believe that feeling supported during labour is the best way to ensure a natural birth. You will feel on top of the world after the baby comes!!
Did I mention that DH completely supported all my ideas & plans? He is now an enthusiastic advocate of natural birth and staunchly supports it whenever it's mentioned in public.

hello again everyone! possum when is your baby due??
my friend was 10 days overdue and was booked in to get induced on monday night. yesterday i got a text message saying the induction had failed and that she was having a ceasarian...she had a little girl and both mum and bubs are doing fine..but she didn't get to hold the baby straight away..i'm not sure why i needed to tell you guys this..it's just been on my mind all night

Hi gracie.....

I had a drug free labour with DD#2. THere wasnt much time for drugs as i arrived at the hossi fully dilated ready to push ( had her in emergency, no time to get me upstairs to maternity ward).
I am gearing up for another drug free labour. A epi has never, ever crossed my mind and i dont think i will ever opt for that. Even during DD#1 labour which was pretty traumatic (retained placenta, post partum haemorraging, didnt get to hold baby either) i had pethidine...i felt crap afterwards.
With DD#2 i felt like i could have walked out of the hospital that afternoon. I looked fresh, i felt great - 30 mins after she was born. Even my DH couldnt believe how content, relaxed i was.......for me....drugs are the last, last option if all else fails (i.e my mind !!!!;))

that sounds awesome mbear...i've pretty much caved in on the pethidine thing and said i'm willing to give that a go..i got talked around. i am standing strong on the epidural thing though and dp is as well. he really wants me to do it without one. it's weird, i guess i just didn't understand the system when i first fell pg iykwim? now i feel pretty confused by it all.

Just see how you go Gracie. You might not need pethedine (and also keep in mind that drugs don't work wonders for everyone, I know people who find pethedine made them feel sick, and I think it can make your baby sleepy?). Just see how you travel. I always thought I might consider gas, but it totally never crossed my mind at the birth!!
Where are you planning to have your baby?

Pethidine is a narcotic which takes an adult a couple of hours to metabolise through our body, but for a baby, it takes over 24 hours, so it is born sleepy, sometimes flat (narcan shot can be given to counteract it) and as a result of a sleepy baby they can have breastfeeding problems due to not attaching well. Some birth units no longer use it. Not nice stuff.