Chat away ladies :)
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Chat away ladies :)
well i will start!
i finally finished Arquenes birth story! there is still so much i could put in like that i was in the bb chat room when it was all starting!
im going to the homebirth conference in sydney in november which im so excited about and so scared to!
ricki lake is going to be there as she did a documentory on her homebirths!(yes ricki lake the chat show host! go ricki go ricki!)
I'm having a homebirth with this baby and I'm so excited!! I feel so much more confident about getting the birthing experience I want now that I do not have to go to the labour ward.
I had a very medicalised birth with my daughter with a classic case of cascade of intervention; induced, epidural, forced pushing, forceps, 4th degree tear. The thought of going back and having any form of intervention terrified me so I opted for a homebirth.
I'm due any day now.....
Hello,
I'm TTC ATM and am very interested in home birth and other alternatives to the labour ward. The whole idea of medical intervention and time limits on what is a natural process scares the bejesus out of me. My DF is a little scared about the prospect of a home birth, his aunt is a midwife and she doesn't recommend it in Australia, but I know that he would be supportive of whatever I wanted.
I guess I'm jumping the gun, not being UTD yet, but I am really keen to hear what other mothers home birth stories.
Also, maybe off topic but point me in the right forum direction :D, I'd love to hear more about the role of support people during labour, who women selected (mum, sister, best friend, doula...etc) to support both themselves and DP/DH) and how that worked out for them. My mum will want to be there but I'm not sure that I want her there...
We're planning a homebirth for this bub too.
I had an induced labour with DD, had gas a peth(yuck!) and had vacuum extraction to get her out and then her shoulder got stuck it was just one disaster after another.
So with DS i went to a birth centre. It was great having one midwife as my main carer. I went into labour spontaniously but everytime i headed to the birth centre my labour would pretty much stop. This was due to him be posterior and also i think a lot to do with my fear of having another traumatic birth. I went 30 hours without the need of drugs so i'm feeling confident that i can go natural all the way this time. I had an epidural for the last 7hrs because i was just so tired and also i had to have the synto drip because my labour just wouldnt start again.
So this time i want a homebirth so that i can finally get the birth i want(or close to!). We're also hiring a doula which i think will help lots too. Not sure if i want a waterbirth yet though, still thinking about that one. I might though as it'll be winter and will be quite cold i'll want to stay in warm water lol.
Sorry for that epic intro lol
Hoping for a homebirth here too. I had good experiences with the births of both my girls - no complaints, really, but I figured this sounded like a nicer way to go. I'd rather labour in my own house, sleep in my own bed, with my baby and DH beside me, be able to use my own bathroom, and not have someone waking me up every few hours (just after I got to sleep after nursing!) to check my pulse and blood pressure! I am not opposed to a hospital delivery, I just think it's not necessary when everything goes well (as it usually does!) I am keeping the option of a water birth open, because I do love to be in the tub when something hurts, but we'll see how that goes. I might not want that when the time comes.
Thankfully my DH is very supportive, and while my family might think I'm a little strange, they have kept their opinions to themselves, and have also been helpful and supportive. The only place I got trouble from was my family doctor - the nurse practitioner there thought I was reckless and crazy, and asking for trouble, and was generally quite rude and unprofessional, I thought. I was really disappointed with her reaction. When all is said and done, I might write her a letter, and present her with some of the research that has been done on homebirth. Anyways, all that aside, that's pretty much the story so far, and I hope in a few days to be able to let you know how it all went! :)
Another homebirther (to be) here.
I had my two children at the birth centre here in Brisbane, which were wonderful birth experiences. I put it down to the continuity of care and family centred care.
This time we opted for a homebirth, because the BC here is Bris is so popular, that you have to go into a ballot to access the service and a lot of people miss out. The thought of missing out terrifies me, so I went to the only other option to get continuity of care and that was to hire a private midwife. But in Bris you have to get in early as there are very few MW. All good, I got one booked.
I'm loving it though. Where I wouldn't have even had one appt at the BC yet, I've already had two appts with my MW. The appts have been in my home and I haven't had to chase my children around a hospital consultation room, trying to keep them away from the bright yellow bins that house the hazardous waste (um, someone needs to tell whoever makes those that they are toddler magnets :( ) which is how it use to be when I was pregnant with #2. The children are much easier to contain and amuse in my home. A complete bonus in my books for homebirth :).
Anyway, here's to hoping everyone is having wonderful homebirth journey's
i really loved the continuity of care i had with my m/w and now she is a friend of our family!
i can still call her now with any questions there is no time limit! just like with labour there are no time limits!
for those of you that have to pay( its most of us) just wondering how much your m/w charges? and if its one lump sum or per appt? and whats included
my m/w was a lump some of $2000 that was all the normal appt 4wkly then fortnightly then weekly then once i went over i was on the phone to her every day! the pool was included andafter the birth it was the first 3 days then weekly until 3 weeks then at 6 weeks. she also supplied all vitamins and herbal and homeopathic remidies
Wow Ellissa, that is great value.
My homebirth is costing $4000. I am paying in four payments, at 13 weeks, 20 weeks, 28 weeks and 36 weeks. We negotiated that. The m/w was open to how we pay, that was what I felt suited us best.
I don't think the pool is included, I'm not too worried because I have a friend who will lend me one. All the usual appts (as outlined above) but have also called her outside appts to ask questions which is nice to have a care provider who is "on call" all the time, not just when I'm having a baby.
I know it is a lot of money, but we have always "self insured" health wise and I guess this is one way we are spending that part of our savings. And so far, the quality of the service and care that I am getting, when compared to the hospital, is significantly superior, and therefore worth it :)
Hee hee, i'm in the UK so mine was free ;)
I loved my homebirth and can't even imagine going into hospital for birth now.
Bec
Not to be narky, but is this because babies are born differently in Australia, to the rest of the world? :D:
We have had both of our babies born at home, and my wife is currently practicing independently as a midwife - we are in the process of setting up a practice here in Port Macquarie.
As for cost, we paid $3000 each for ours. At the moment, we are looking at charging $3500 for a first baby, and $3000 for subsequent baby, only because there is considerable more time involved in the education and support side of things for first babies.
I think all up from memory my HB cost me approx $3000 for Tehya. I did have my visits broken down though and had more antenatal care with my Gp, in a shared care arrangement to try and save some funds too.
Ellissa, I am with you. I too love the extra and continuity of care. My midwife, who happens to be Schmickers wife Victoria, is now a close friend. I even recently (just this week) went and stayed at their home for 5 days. Now what hospital midwife will have you doing that ;) Victoria will also be supporting me with the birth our new baby in December. Something I am really looking forward to sharing with her.
Make sure you take time out to appreciate and support your independant midwives girls. They really are doing an awesome job for us, and the flak that some of them cop is ridiculous. For these lovely people it really is more than just a job to them. It is their way of life :D
Oh, I completely agree. Supporting groups like Maternity Coalition and other local homebirth and maternity services lobby groups goes a long way to help say "we appreicate what you do and we will support you". I'm involved in a few such groups.:
I just treats, pressies and the like also go a long way too huh :)
hi all!
i signed up on BellyBelly ages ago while going through IVF but the thread moved so fast that it was impossible to keep up so i am not sure if i ever posted or not! LOL!
But kaos just pointed me in the direction of this thread so i thought i'd jump in.
I am planning a homebirth (also in Port Macquarie). My last birth did not go as planned- partly because of some bad decisions that i made but mostly because i gave control over to the hospital rather than remain focused on my original birth plan. While i would not complain about the care i received in the hospital (the midwives really were wonderful) it is not a birth i want to experience again.
So while DH has some reservations he says that how i labour is up to me and he'll do whatever i choose (personally i'd love for him to be excited about HB! But i'll take indifferent for now!)
We had our first meeting (just a getting to know you type chat) with our midwife last weekend and that calmed some of DH's fears. The cost is the biggest killer for me. I second guess that side of things quite often and wonder if i am being selfish spending that much on me when i can just go to hospital for free. ??
There are some great books out there for those who are considering a homebirth, and aren't sure, or who want to convince a reluctant DH or other family members. One that's coming to mind is "Special Delivery" by Rahima Baldwin, and also "Homebirth" by Sheila Kitzinger. I'm sure if you talk to your local midwives' association, they could give you more resources to go on.
As far as costs go, I guess you could say it's an investment in the health of yourself and your child, but I don't know what my decision would be if I had to pay! :redface: Here in Canada, it's totally covered. :)
Anyone else thinking of a waterbirth? I just read Kelly's article on it, and am more curious than ever to try it. I'm not making any firm plans though, 'cause I don't know what I'll want at that moment, but my midwife is open to the possibility, so we'll just go with the flow.
Cricket, Tehya was my homewater birth baby. And I am planning on having the same with this baby. Alot of women do feel the need to be grounded when they give birth, however I just loved doing it in the warm water.
Jump on in it hun, you might just get so comfortable you don't want to get out. And, if when the time to pushing comes and you want out then up you get. Easy :D
Michelle, I know a great midwife in Port Macquarie. I can promise you she is well worth every cent you would spend and then some :D Let me know if you want any details. Or perhaps you have already met with her. There really aren't that many Independant midwives in Port.
I think i'm having second thoughts here about a homebirth, im not sure. Maybe i'm just really scared of the unknown? And like someone else mentioned, i feel a bit selfish for spending all that money... i dunno maybe i jsut need some more reasurence?
Thanks, Trish. There are 3 MWs in Port that i know of (incl Victoria, as i have heard of her even though i have not met her). I think i am pretty happy with our choice, but thanks for the offer.
We are also planning a water birth. I have not bought the pool yet (no rush) but i am looking forward to seeing how it works and giving it a test run over xmas. My son was posterior and the only thing that relieved the pressure was being in water. I should have stayed at home longer in the bath and things would have been easier for me. So even if i don't actually choose to birth in water this time around i want everything in place should i need to.
ETA- Tegan... if you are training to be a doula yourself what makes you fearful of HB?
I just found out our private health insurance (Teachers Federation health Fund) covers private midwives which is interesting as it sounds like other funds don't. (not that I actually need it but if any of you are teachers or have parents who are it would be worth joining.)
Tegan, I know what you mean - but what price can you put on bringing your baby into the world in the most peaceful way available? You will remember it always - and it isn't just for you - it is money spent on your baby.:
i dont really see how me training to be a doula eliviates my fear of a home birth? Ive never done it before, i dont know anyone who has done it before IRL. Ive had 2 pretty hard labours which also adds to my fear. I suppose its not having it at home in itself but more if one of the complications arise that happened before, what will happen then? Its just a fear of the unknown, like i said.
For those of you who are apprehensive about whether spending the kind of money you'd spend on a homebirth is "selfish", then consider it an investment in your baby's future. The research clearly and overwhelmingly shows that, for women who have had a normal pregnancy, homebirth has better outcomes than hospital birth. Homebirth has been proven by numerous studies to be "as safe" as hospital birth, but in addition, with a much lower risk of interventions such as vaccuum extraction, forceps, or the need for caeserean section.
Tegan - for many women, one of the biggest hurdles to overcome in contemplating a homebirth is negative previous experience of birth. A hospital birth, with its inherent interventions and complications, saps at a woman's confidence in her own ability. It may help to remember that there is also a body of research out there that suggests that the majority of the complications that occur during a hospital birth are a by-product of the hospital - inexperienced midwives, poor management by the maternity team, overbearing obstetric registrars, interventions that aere not necessary, such as induction for "post dates" when the dates have been worked out using older methods that have since been superseded, and the emotional stress - both conscious, and subconscious - that results from upping sticks from your comfortable home environment and driving to a less comfortable hospital. Remove all of these factors, return the natural process of birth to its natural place at home, and the complications that occurred last time simply don't occur at home.
I also think don't think that spending the money is selfish. I agree, it is an investment in my physical and emotional health, my babies health and the wellbeing of my family. I know that with a homebirth, because of the amount of education pertaining to informed choice that is being provided to me by my MW, that I have the best possible chance for the birth I want and can be empowered no matter what happens because I have all the information and a care provider I trust.
[QUOTE=Schmickers;961525]Not to be narky, but is this because babies are born differently in Australia, to the rest of the world? :DQUOTE]
The concersation was in relation to the UK where home births are more the norm, & more supported. Concerns in Oz being lack of access to private midwives, the high (and often prohibitive) cost of hiring them, the general discouragement of family and friends because it isn't seen as the norm, distances in Australia to hospitals if things do go wrong (we dont all live in the 'burbs)...shall I continue?
Gosh, i thought this was a general chatter thread about homebirth, is it now going to turn into another debate about how homebirth is potentially unsafe!? There are many obstacles to homebirth, or indeed any birth the way the WOMAN want it, and Tegan said perhaps she needed more reassurance, rather than a debate.
Tegan you can email me off board if you like? Then you can get to know me better and you can easily know me nearly-IRL (i'm in the UK so vists might be harder ;)) before bubs is born. I have never had a hospital birth, but i have been present at one (my SIL's) which was a long induction/posterior baby/traumatic delivery so i have seen to some extent how frightening these things can be.
The way we birth should be about how we WANT to birth - yes, many homebirthers have to overcome fear, but it is not hard because they feel strongly about it. I DID NOT WANT to go to hospital unless medically necessary. The system you're working with, having to find an independant midwife, having to pay $$$ for it, conspire to make homebirth seem different/abnormal and make you feel bad and that maybe you should do the normal thing and go to hospital (i sympathise there - as much as it is supported in the uk, only 1% of babies are actually born at home here). But your desire to birth out of the hospital setting is NOT abnormal, the system which doesn't comprehend and support this desire is the abnormal thing. Most animals want to feel safe and secure to birth, it is a competely normal desire.
So if you find when the time comes to pay $$ you are still very unsure that homebirth is for you, that's ok, maybe it ISN'T for you. I have a friend who had an elective c-section because of the way her time was scheduled (she felt waiting for a natural birth was out of the question) and i would NEVER contemplate that, but how can i judge her? She did what she felt was right at the time - that is all our children can ask of us, and all we should demand of ourselves. You do what you feel is right, and know you did your best. Yeah, sure, it could go wrong, but hindsight is 20/20 in EVERY situation. Personally knowing womens bodies work just fine (and having IRL friend's who'd homebirthed years before i fell PG) i knew that homebirth was the safest option for a long time before giving birth and i can't tell you how many horrible hospital birth stories i hear when i can pinpoint the things that happened that drove it all off course.
You will know nearer the time, further on in your research what you might want to risk and what you might not want to risk. If you decide homebirth isn't for you that's great - we have to know what we want in order to get it. :)
Bec
Thankyou hoobley. I think i will email you. Maybe on the weekend as i'm starting a new job tomorrow!
I have had a thought more about this and i do want it. it's just my fears from mainly DD's birth arising in me again. It happened while i was in labour with DS and i think that's why my labour was so long and kept stopping/starting. So I think i just need to overcome these fears and then i will feel a whole lot better about everything. I thought i was over it all, but i guess i'm not. I'm glad i have 8 months to think through it all!
Tegan, why dont you look into calmbirthing or hypnobirthing classes to help deal with your fears? I agree that it can be the most gentle, beautiful way to bring a baby into the world but if you cant deal with your own fear and anxieties then its not the best place to give birth... we all know what too much adrenaline does.
You have time up your sleeve, meet some IM's, attend the homebirth conference if you can (Sheila Kitzinger there this year) and try some classes as above. Knowledge, information and support is power.
I would love to go to some hypnobirthing classes but there just isn't any around here. i've been looking and jut can't seem to find any near me.
There are a few around Newcastle, Maitland and the Central Coast. Look on the calmbirth register.
Oh thankyou so much Kelly! Maitland is only a suburb away, so i will be definatly ringing her soon.
Hi Hoobly, dont get me wrong...I was just a bit cross about Smickers comment re are babies born differently in Australia....I am really keen on learning more about homebirth. In reading birth stories published here and on other sites, they just seem like the most comfortable births for mums without time limits and unnecessary intervention. You are very lucky that the UK is so supportive of homebirthing, I wish is was the case here. I´m sorry if I sounded like I was against them, just felt a bit patronised - but this medium is tricky for taking things the wrong way. I love your photo of your little girl BTW.
Babylove, I think you will find that Schmickers was being mildly sarcastic. He is very much a supporter of homebirths. And I'm sure he was patronising you.
Tegan, as you work through your doula course you will do a reflective practise. Perhaps you can use this to your advantage and work through the issues you still have with Lily's birth. Maybe this will provide you with some healing and also help you to decide once and for all if a homebirth is really what you want.
It is totally normal btw to feel apprehensive. I mean, no matter where we birth we have some sort of fear deep down inside. It's merely the fear of the unknown. Now, whether you birth in a hospital, at home, or on a plane no one can predict the outcome. However, that said, we all know that we are more likely to recieve more intervention in a hospital setting. Sure intervention does have it's place when required. But in most births it simply isn't neccessary.
Hi all, I had DS in a private hospital and as I like to say, despite this (and the fact that I was made to lie on my back while birthing a posterior baby and hooKed to machines) I managed to deliver him vaginally without pain relief or assistance. I also got to 9cm on my own before arriving at the hospital so know I can do birth "well" IYKWIM. As soon as (and just before) DS was born I regretted my care choices and was sorry I wasn't at a Family Birth Centre. So baby #2 is due to be born at the Mercy FBC but I have always joked that if this one goes well I will end up with a homebirth for baby number 3. Now as the birth approaches I am more keen on a HB than ever for our next, but the kicker for me is the expense. Stupid I know, especially when I paid around $3k for my OB with DS#1, but it is crazy how expensive it is. I don't mean that those attending shouldn't be paid (far from it!!) but it is crazy that I should have to pay for a model of care that is actually less stress (all going well, which it should) on the public health system than a hospital birth. And I totally agree on it being an investment in mine and my baby's health.
Sounds like I am trying to convince myself huh? I shall enjoy the discussion - hopefully in a couple of years I will be planning a HB myself :)
Rory, I totally agree with you. It's funny though, as you said, women seem to have no issue whatsoever handing over around $3,000 for an OB, who will supposidly give them a better birth in a hospital setting. They feel safe with this option. But, when it comes time to hand over $3,00 to an Independant midwife we baulk. Now, I know it's not because we don't feel them worth the money, nor is it that we don't think the do as good or even a better job than an OB. Perhaps it's again the unknown. We pay this money out and then there is still the chance we will require a transfer to hospital and maybe even a c section. Still, for me, the support and backup I get from my midwife is worth all of that.
Maybe we need to follow the UK and have HB's be a normal everyday occurance, and one that the government actually helps to pay for. It sure would take some of the strain off our already over crowded medical and hospital system.
it's interesting cos i imagined that doulas and midwives must be really confident about HB! I never imagined that they would have the same doubts and fears that i have- My fears are the exact same- that if my labour progresses the way it did last time then i can't imagine birthing at home at all.... but i figured that my lack of confidence was becuase of my lack of knowledge... seems not! LOL! It's probably rude but i feel a little better that someone with HB training shares the same fears when it comes to doing it themselves. :redface::
I'm not sure how to best overcome my doubts either. JUST DO IT! seems to be my current motto.
I think what convinced me the most about homebirth was the statistics on maternal and infant outcomes (just as good if not better than the hospital) combined with the stories that I heard from other mums. I have NEVER heard a mother say she regretted her homebirth! I've only heard of ones who say it was wonderful, they will never go back to the hospital for birth, and it was the best thing they've done. There's got to be something good about it if everyone is loving it! So I decided to go for it. And yes, I am nervous. But as others have mentioned, every birth is a little scary, and I am confident in the caregivers I have, and looking forward to a good birth.
...Sorry, I apologise. I was making a joke, but it's been a difficult week for our practice here - Victoria has been copping a lot of flack over a baby that was born recently, so I guess I was in a sarcastic mood.
So once more, I apologise.
Homebirth midwives in Australia have strict admission criteria so women who are living in areas where access to emergency care are limited are not offered homebirth as an option. And I'll concede your point about the cost of homebirth being higher here than in the UK. I just don't know whether I'd go so far as to say I wouldn't recommend them based on cost, when the research is so overwhelmingly in favour of them as a safe(r) alternative to giving birth in hospital.
As far as family or friends being unsupportive, somewhere on my todo list for setting up our practice here in Port Macquarie, is putting together an introductory package that contains a few research studies and their accompanying "normal language" press releases as a kind of an introductory package for people who are unsure about the safety of homebirth.
I think it's item #237...:(
Anyway, once more Babylove, please accept my apologies for making a sarcastic comment, and please excuse me for almost derailing this thread into a debate.
It would be good if Aus provided homebirth as a normal option but then from reading your comments it'd be nice if the UK was doing what you all think it is!
About 1% of UK babies are born at home. Yes, it's paid for, but you've no idea the hassle it can be. I am one of about 4 women i know who only suffered minimal stress about it - that's seeing the midwfe and having them cluck and tut at your blood pressure, exclaim "a homebirth!? You're mad! What about the mess!", the Ob tell you you'll need inducing and won't get your homebirth afterall etc. etc. THat's MINIMUM stress. I know lots and LOTS of women who were booked for homebirth and told in their 38th week that "there aren't going to be midwives available, your HB is cancelled" - this is especially common in England. Also to get the homebirth you would get, with your own, known midwife, i would need to pay about $6000 (private midwives are more expensive here) since in the NHS model you get who they send on the day, the same as if you go into hospital. I had met one of my midwives once, when arranging my homebirth at 22wks, the other, who arrived frst and caught DD, was a stranger to me. In addition the majority of society still thinks a c-section is the safest option and you suffer the same comments from friends and family about how unsafe it is.
The UK government theoretically fund homebirth but they theoretically fund breast augmentation too - after 9 years of anxiety and depression and 12 years after initially visiting the doctor with her flat chest (literally, PCOS, no breast tissue development) my friend just got her implants put in. So even though i got my homebirth and it was paid for i still demand more! LOL.
Bec
See, this is the thing. In Aus, I hear the UK NHS homebirth scenario touted as a model for Australia. But the thing is, as Hoobley mentioned, there is not necessarily continuity of carer there. It is essentially a stranger coming to your house while you birth. I don't think this is an ideal scenario at all. The best outcomes are when you have a known carer, not just birthing in your own home. I think in Australia, consumers should be pushing for medicare rebates and insurance for homebirth midwives, as well as continuity of care models such as caseload practice. We need to create a level playing field and until these two basic elements are addressed (medicare and insurance), then homebirth in Australia will stay a minority option.
So what you all really need then, is to follow the CANADIAN system. ;)
My homebirth is completely covered, with my own personal midwife, and a secondary midwife (whom I have met) also present to care for the baby when it arrives. I will also have a student midwife there, since our local practice is training someone new, so I'll have caregivers coming out of my ears. (Or, maybe, since it is a birth, not my ears, but elsewhere..... ;)) If by some chance, my midwife is already attending a birth when I go into labour, I will have my secondary midwife, and some one else. (who I wouldn't know.) But I figure those are pretty good chances, and I'm quite comfortable with that.
I have the choice to have a birth in the hospital with an OB or a family doctor, or a midwife, or to use a birthing centre, (there isn't one close here though) or to give birth at home. The government has realized that it takes quite a burden off of the health care system to have women birth with a midwife, especially if they do so at home. Way cheaper for them, and good outcomes for the mum and baby.
As far as getting flak for my decision I have gotten some. But that was just from my nurse practitioner, who works at my family doctor's office. She thought I was crazy and putting my baby at risk for a "warm, fuzzy, hippy birth." I was pretty ticked. I had gone there for my first pregnancy appointment, because I didn't know if I needed a referral to the midwife. Turns out I didn't - I can just book in with the midwife right away next time. Anyways, that was the only trouble I've had. The midwives themselves are very supportive of homebirth. Mine said they would like to have about 20% homebirths in their practice, and they are having trouble getting that percentage, so they are always thrilled with a healthy mum and bub interested in trying it. (BTW - I had already made up my mind to try it, she wasn't talking me into it, or anything.)
So do some research on the Canadian model of health care, and start writing letters. :)
BTW - Schmickers, at least you got some discussion going! It was pretty quiet in here before that. Hope all is well in your practice and that you're having a better week this week. :hug: to you and your wife.