I have to make a choice...

A little back track... I have depression, have had it since I was at school. I have been medicated on & off (taking myself off).

With DD I didnt take my meds while PG and I was a nightmare to be around but soon after her birth I went back on them and when I felt fine I took myself off them which started a cycle of me going back on them, taking myself off etc...

This time we have decided for me to stay on them while PG (I want to stay on them and not go off them cause I need to be on them), it was a hard decision but with many talks with my GP, Hospital Dr, midwives & other health professionals etc we made our decision knowing there are some risks etc but the benifit of me being on the meds outway the risks...

I was told it was best I stayed on a low dosage so thats what I have been on but over the last 2 weeks have felt they havnt done anything and the last few days I have been a nightmare to be around again.

After going to a number of appoinments today(GP, Hospital Dr, midwives & other health professionals) I have been left with 2 choices..

1) Stay on the low dosage im on, feel its doing nothing, put stress on the baby, myself, my DH & DD for the nest 15ish weeks, have high blood pressure, have the chance I will have to have him early etc

or

2) Go on a much higher dosage & have bubs in special care for the 1st 3ish days after being born because of the withdrawls he will be having (this is what I have been told today)

DH & I have no idea what to do..:( cause either way its bad. I cant put him under stress for the next 15 weeks but I dont want him to have withdrawls for a few days once he is born.

:hug: lindsay, its a hard decisiobn to make, can you up your dosage a little rather than go to the much higher doase straight away? if you dont mind me asking what are you on and how much

Isn't there something else they can put you on which would be better for bubs?

Oh Linz....thats a tough call babe. Both are not easy.....i dont know what to say...but i think Jols suggestion of up the dose a little bit rather then a huge jump is a good idea.

ohh u poor thing sounds very hard.

Personally I would do the 2nd option as that way you can enjoy pregnancy and your DD and DH and not be stressed out and feel well.

Having baby in SCN for a short time is a small price to pay to know that you will be well and fit to care for baby.

If you dont increase dose you may increase your risk of PND which could end up with you needing differnet drugs or even time in a mother baby unit which is time away from DH and DD.

We are all here or you hun hope this helps a little bit

Im on Zoloft, its the only anti depressant thats in catagory 2 that I can take & the other anti depressants are a catagory 3 and they wont put you on anything catagory 3 while PG as its far to risky.

Sorry I should have the next dosage up is what I will be having but thats double what im on now.

These are my only 2 choices... :( and we are leaning more towards option 2.

i was on zoloft too, why not split the tablet so have a 50% increas rather than 100% increase, try that, but give it time to work

I am on zoloft too and took it throughout my pg.

What mg you on?? I was fine not to have bubs in special care when she was born although they did prefer me to stay in hosp for 3 days after the birth but there was no need for special care. So that might be a option.


is it possible to up your dosage for the next 10 weeks then lower it again before birth, i was given that option as well??

Lindsay, im on 150mg of zoloft, my doctor has not told me bubs will need to be in special care or anything.. most she will have is a bit of the shakes which wear off quite quickly. Zoloft has been proven in a high number of cases to be the most safe during preg and bf because alot of research has been done on it. hope all goes well

I will be on 150MG aswell once my dosage goes up, I have some more appointments to go to on Monday to discuss it further with DH there aswell.

I dont know but the hospital I will be having him at have made it clear to me today that he will be taken into special care for a few days to watch with withdrawls,shakes etc, maybe diff hospitals do do that I dont know.

Kirsty-lee -It helps me knowing someone else is taking the dosage that I will be taking if we go with that option.

Beatrix- No that wasnt mentioned to me all so I will bring that up on Monday.

AJP- Thanks, I will bring that up on monday aswell

No worries lindsay, it is stressful I know,i was concerned about taking it while pg.. doctor said to me if i wanted to i could cut my dosage down closer to the due date to help ease withdrawls but it's already a very anxious time as is and i dont want to make it worse. But also i was told that if your bfing it will help because the withrawls will be minimal as bubs will be still getting some from the milk.

yeah true it is a anxious time around birth so maybe thats why it wasnt out to me today to cut it down closer to birth.

I never thought about the BFing helping as some of it will be in the milk so withdrawls wont be as bad, thankyou im feeling more confident to go with the increase.

I guess im just feeling so overwhelmed and the though of having him taken into special care instead of being with me the whole time upset me...really it could be worse.

Lindsay, my experience was very similar to yours. This time i made the choice to stay on Lexapro 10mg which i'd been on since DS was 8 months old. In the past couple of months i have not been coping and only when it reached the point where i have been constantly anxious, not able to sleep and i knew it was affecting both DS and possibly DS in the womb, did i decide to go up a dose. I'm now on 20mg and feeling better.

I truly believe that the stress responses your body creates due to low mood/stress fluctuations (anxiety/depression) do have an effect on the baby in the womb. Its almost impossible to measure what this would be though, but just by knowing my DS and the fact i did not take medication and suffered anxiety through my last pregancy, i really felt it was better to be on it this time and especially at a level where it was working. Recently the 10mg felt like it was not working- the DR said this can be due to increased fluid levels diluting the medicaion and/or weight gains.

As for Zoloft vs Lexapro..... i read a substantial amount of research material/studies on both zoloft and lexapro during pregnancy and breastfeeding and decided lexapro was the one with the least instance of issue for the baby. Apparently the withdrawals are minute and can be combatted by breast feeding as baby still receives some small amount, so of course i'll be breastfeeding. I've also spoken the psychology department of my hospital and they assure me the baby will be fine after the birth and no need for any special check up let alone special care! in fact i go home after just 24 hours, and could do sooner if i wanted.

SO, i don't know if switching medications is an option?? Apart from that i would go up a dose, its important that you feel better now and are able to manage as theres still a good 3 months + left. I can't speak from your hospital but their opinions sound a bit extreme... especially as others have been on it and not had this occur. Can you do some more research or get a second opinion??? Certainly separation from the baby would do more harm that good, and i wouldn't condone that at all, surely that can't be the only options????

Anyway based on myself, i would go up a dose or switch to lexapro if that is an option. If not, then just try to get another opinion or do some more research in to it....

Hope that helps Linds, thinking of you :hug:

I was put on Zoloft the same dose with my daughter about six weeks before she was born and at 6weeks of pregnancy with my son. He was born at 31 weeks other complications nothing to do with the meds and was in the special care unit for a few days and then in and out for 2 weeks with me in hospital as well. I checked with DH and he doesn't remember anyone talking about withdrawal from meds or anythings involving my medication.

Remember special care doesn't mean that you cannot feed or be with him it just means extra monitoring and care.

All the best Lottie:)

Hi Lindsay,

In the end you will do what is right for you and your family. As a clinical psychologist im inclined to say to go for option 3 which is to remain on a low dose med and opt to see a clinical psych in your area for therapy- preferrable one who practices mindfulness/CBT as well as one who has experience managing pregnancy and mental illness. Talking to a trained professional will help you manage emotional issues at this very anxiety provoking time. The answer isnt always about uping/lowering meds, but I certainly understand this is something you have been battling with for a very long time so you dont want to make too many drastic changes esp now... Hope this helps!

I wish you well!

Jud :)

Thankyou ladies,

Im sure we have made our decision but we will still talk it over again and see what happens on Monday.

B-

:

---

Certainly separation from the baby would do more harm that good

---

DD had seperation anxiety when she was born so I was concerned about this bub having it aswell let alone not having him with me at all times. We are thinking option 2 is best for u (Me & bubs) but I really dont want him to go into special care unless he really has to so im going to talk that over with the hospital at my appoinment as we are thinking thats abit extreme aswell. I was planning on spending a few extra days in hospital this time round anyway to help with my BF etc so it really couldnt hurt him to be with me.

Jud- Thankyou, I have been talking with someone and will continue to talk with someone.

Hey Linds, I think it sounds like you are approaching this in a very sensible and smart way. Good on you for looking at all your options, and working with your hospital and dr's to get the best outcome for you and your family. Hugs, and I hope you feel a lot better for the rest of your pg.

I believe my DS had some separation anxiety too and he was only taken away for a few minutes (oxygen) and i also believe that it can lead to/contribute to PND for the mum too as a biological response to grieve the loss of the baby's physical presence kicks in if it is not there. I really hope the hospital can work with you on a compromise about the special care unit and the separation.

Anyway i'm glad you've made a decision and i hope you start feeling better really soon :hug:

Hi Lindsay,

can you put up with being a miserable cow for the nest 15 weeks? I would chose that over putting my baby at risk with the higher dosage...15 weeks will pass in no time but the repercussions of the meds might last a life time. What does your OB recommend?

I'm sure you mean well Chalalan, but the "risk" is impossible to measure and is different for every mother and child. It's also a lot more serious than being a 'miserable cow'. Before i went on medication (while breastfeeding - i was crying every day, too afraid to leave the house, had headaches and chest pains, unable to sleep.... for me the medication was a godsend and has had no effect on my son apart from him being so much happier as he has a happy healthy mum). Some people are at risk of harming themselves when not on medication, so the risk to the baby would be significantly reduced by taking medication. Depression is such a debilitating illness, and while i obviously don't think taking medication while pregnant is ideal, it certainly does help many women simply function in their every day life and if thats the case, then the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Mumma B - I have had experience of zoloft for the record, and by the sounds of things your son was safely delivered by the time you took up medication as a recourse to your depression.

I'm advocating that the fetus gets a chance to grow and develop away from these strong chemicals if it can be helped at all....and yes I understand the symptoms of depression since I have experienced them myself but I know that I would never put my own headaches or heart palpitaions above the life of my eagerly awaited and cherished bub.

I had anxiety not depression and yes with my first son i avoided medication during pregnancy. But knowing him as the child he is, i truly believe my anxiety had an effect on his brain during my pregnancy and whilst a happy child, he himself has a highly anxious personality despite my gentle parenting (breastfeeding/co-sleeping/everything child led). There is research which suggests the stress responses YOUR body creates during anxiety and depression DO have an effect on the baby's brain development in utero. Which is why this time i made the choice to be on medication for this pregnancy, NOT because i wanted to do without the headaches or stress but because i truly believe that daily panic attacks, hyperventilating and other extreme distress i wont go in to here would be more harmful than the effect of medication on my baby. Apart from that what you have to consider is that both Lindsay and I have other toddlers to look after while being pregnant and suffering depression/anxiety - it certainly isn't fair on the children that are already here having to witness and deal with that on a daily level.

Whilst i'm sure every mother would love to have her baby in the womb have the choice of growing and being born medication free, but we are the mothers and have to make the choices we believe best for us and them at the time.

:

---

There is research which suggests the stress responses YOUR body creates during anxiety and depression DO have an effect on the baby's brain development in utero. Which is why this time i made the choice to be on medication for this pregnancy, NOT because i wanted to do without the headaches or stress but because i truly believe that daily panic attacks, hyperventilating and other extreme distress i wont go in to here would be more harmful than the effect of medication on my baby. Apart from that what you have to consider is that both Lindsay and I have other toddlers to look after while being pregnant and suffering depression/anxiety - it certainly isn't fair on the children that are already here having to witness and deal with that on a daily level.

Whilst i'm sure every mother would love to have her baby in the womb have the choice of growing and being born medication free, but we are the mothers and have to make the choices we believe best for us and them at the time.

---

Your right on the dot hun!!!

Chalalan- If you go back to my 1st post I listed my options... apart from what B said Im also having high blood pressure now so without upping my meds its not going to get any better.... having high blood pressure in pregnancy isnt all that safe either. Im increasing my risk of having pre- eclampsia which then will lead to me being induced early(as early as 32-34 weeks)and while the survival rate is high at that stage there is also alot of complications that can come with that.

:

---

There is research which suggests the stress responses YOUR body creates during anxiety and depression DO have an effect on the baby's brain development in utero. Which is why this time i made the choice to be on medication for this pregnancy, NOT because i wanted to do without the headaches or stress but because i truly believe that daily panic attacks, hyperventilating and other extreme distress i wont go in to here would be more harmful than the effect of medication on my baby. Apart from that what you have to consider is that both Lindsay and I have other toddlers to look after while being pregnant and suffering depression/anxiety - it certainly isn't fair on the children that are already here having to witness and deal with that on a daily level.

Whilst i'm sure every mother would love to have her baby in the womb have the choice of growing and being born medication free, but we are the mothers and have to make the choices we believe best for us and them at the time.

---

Your right on the dot hun!!!

Chalalan- If you go back to my 1st post I listed my options... apart from what B said Im also having high blood pressure now so without upping my meds its not going to get any better.... having high blood pressure in pregnancy isnt all that safe either. Im increasing my risk of having pre-eclampsia which then will lead to me being induced early(as early as 32-34 weeks)and while the survival rate is high at that stage there is also alot of complications that can come with that.

So its not me just not wanting to be a miserable cow.

lindsay, i just wanted to support you in whatever decision you make. my situation is slightly different, i'm an epileptic and take valpro at what is luckily a low dose, but i know how much you weigh up the pros and cons of taking meds when you're pg. in the end if you don't look after your health, you risk depriving your children of a normal relationship with their mother. no one makes the decision to medicate during pg lightly, and all you can do is arm yourself with knowledge and professional support. you do what is important for all of your family
best of luck

Hi Lindsay hon, How you feeling at the moment? any better from 2 weeks ago? Im thinking of you, I know how hard it is to make this decision. I have been the one now to not take any higher dose and try and cope without it like you were saying. Im sorry to hear your BP is high hon.

:

---

Whilst i'm sure every mother would love to have her baby in the womb have the choice of growing and being born medication free, but we are the mothers and have to make the choices we believe best for us and them at the time.

---

I agree with MummaB, if we had a choice we try and be free of medication but some of us really need it, if I wasnt taking my Ciprimil I would end up in hospital with high anxiety and PND and OCD and that is not good for me or the baby inside me. I am doing what I need to make sure I can get through each day without falling apart, I have spoken to my OB, psychologist GP and soon to speak to my new psychiatrist in relation to my dosage of Ciprimil in the upcoming weeks before birth and after birth.

Some people need to realise that none of us would choose to take meds if we didnt feel we need to. We wouldnt wish how we feel or have felt in the past on anyone.

Lindsay - thinking of you.

Bel
xxx

Thankyou Cateblu for your post!!

Hey Belle hun, still feeling the same as when I posted this thread as I was sick last week and didnt get to go to my Monday app so it now this Monday...and will be starting higher dosage then.

I hope your ok hun :comfort:

Hey hun,

Sorry i missed this until now - usually like to keep my beady eye on you ;) Dunno how i missed this one...

It sounds like despite your current low spirits and symptoms you have your head screwed on tight as ever! Your decision making is rational and sound and it sounds like you're making a silk purse out of the sow's ear life has handed you.

No, obviously medicating during pregnancy isn't ideal - but is having the depression/anxiety in the first place ideal!? Um...nope! Unfortunately all too often life doesn't present us with ideal situations but with highly complex ones. Whatever you do at this stage, medicate or not, your little boy will be your little boy forever. It is VERY hard to know whether your own incorrectly high anxiety levels will have more effect than a higher dose of your medication on your son, but it is a FALLACY to think these two things will make the MOST difference to his life.

You are a loving compassionate mother who takes her parenting decisions carefully and with consideration. Your son might not have chemically optimal conditions in the womb WHATEVER decision you make but by goodness, it is 9 months (at this stage let's remember it's only 3!) of his life. There will be 20 YEARS after that of your love and care. You are already preparing for him and thinking about how to reduce his potential difficulties after birth (like BFing etc.) and to be honest Linz, you got given him. If he was meant for someone who wouldn't have to make this decision he'd have gone to them. But he isn't coming to anyone but you.

He's too tiny to ask now, but i'd bet you if you could ask ANY child what they wanted natural chemicals and a deeply distressed unhappy mum or synthetic chemicals and a coping, happy mum, they would choose the latter.

Hang in there hun.

Bx

:

---

After going to a number of appoinments today(GP, Hospital Dr, midwives & other health professionals) I have been left with 2 choices..

1) Stay on the low dosage im on, feel its doing nothing, put stress on the baby, myself, my DH & DD for the nest 15ish weeks, have high blood pressure, have the chance I will have to have him early etc

or

2) Go on a much higher dosage & have bubs in special care for the 1st 3ish days after being born because of the withdrawls he will be having (this is what I have been told today)

DH & I have no idea what to do..:( cause either way its bad. I cant put him under stress for the next 15 weeks but I dont want him to have withdrawls for a few days once he is born.

---

There is a third choice. Go on a higher dose for the next 10-12 weeks, wean down the meds in the last few weeks of PG. Then increase them again after bub is born.

somethign I just wanted to add in response to something MumaB mentioned. MummaB, you mention that DS shows the some signs of anxiety which you feel is related to the way you felt during his pregnancy. This could very well be the case. But don't beat yourself up about that because I don't have any anxiety or depression issues, never have. BUT Evan shows ALOT of signs that he will suffer from this. He has many little things now, even as a 5 yr old that he obsesses over. He gets it from his Dad. DH has suffered for many years with Anxiety (as you may remember for our posts ages ago when you where deciding on what meds to go on while BFing). So while you didn't use any meds while pregnant it may have made no difference to the way DS is. I believe anxiety & depression are passed down. DH & his family are proof of it. Now we see it in Evan also.
I just hope that now the "dirty little secret" of DH's family is out Evan will grow up with the best possible chance on dealing with it with out the need for medications. DH manages his anxiety with out meds. He use to be on a very low dosage (his choice to keep it low, not recomended by the Dr as the idea of taking a addictive medication was actually adding to the problem) he hasn't needed anything for a number of years.

I know everyone is different & I am by no means looking down on anyone who needs to take the meds just sharing our story. Actually just rambling really LOL.

Not ever having experienced depression myself, I can't begin to imagine how hard it is. I have had anxiety though in the past and dealt with it through cognitive therapy. But it isn't always that easy is it?

Lindsay, this must be a tough decision for you.

Hugs to you :hug: hope everything works out for the best.

Bec- Thankyou hun :hug: you are always a great support!!!

Evening star- Thankyou, I have been doing cognitive therapy since DD was born... I find it fantastic but for some reason its not doing enough right now :(

Charlotte- The 3rd option isnt really an option for me, coming up to birth is the most stressfull time (Well in my case anyway) so thats when im going to need the increase the most.