1 week late, no OB...

I have just had the worst night of my life, and its taken me 3 hours to stop crying uncontrollably.

My Dr, who I've been seeing throughout my pg is on leave (bereavement), and since I'm at 41 weeks, the midwives I'm seeing sent me to see the OB who's filling in for him.

So I go for my appt.

First, he does a stretch & sweep without asking me or any prior warning.

Then he says he's booking me in to be induced tomorrow, which when I questioned it he tells me I'm going to kill my baby cos I'm past 41 weeks.

The he goes on to say 'I'm not into any of that airy fairy b@lls#$t! You'll deliver on the bed, on your back. I'm not a vet.'

So I said I was planning an active birth, (which is what my Dr prefers)
and he says I'll have to see someone else and good luck getting in to see anyone else at this stage of the game.

So now I have no obstetrician, no doctor and I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm seriously thinkg about fronting up tomorrow at the Royal Womens to see if I can have my baby there instead of the hospital I'm booked in at - can they turn you away if its a public hospital?

oh Rach- how terrible - that is the last thing that you need right now - honey i hope it all works out soona nd you get to have your active birth...

Rachel hope you are able to sort something out.

Good luck with y our active labour.

Oh no Rachel, I hope things get sorted out quicksmart.

I wouldn't think so. Is he right?? That is terrible. I wish I could help you out here, but unfortunately I don't have the knowledge.

Do you feel any better after having slept on it? Doubt it. Surely it can't hurt to ring and find out from the Women's and explain your position, take it from there?
Maybe ring or go into your own hospital (then they can't fob you off) and have them organise something alternative? I take it you are private and are paying top dollar

I'm sorry I am unable to assist you further - I really hope you get this sorted asap - you shouldn't have to worry about all this at 41weeks!!!

Good Luck and I'm looking forward to seeing your birth announcement - you will be fine, it WILL work out :hug:

OMG Rachael! What a horrible dr!! I'd be ringing anyone and everyone to see if they could take you, whether its your hospital or another OB or anything!

Can you talk to the midwives about it? I hope you can get in soon and have your baby your way.

Thinking of you. *hugs*

That is absolutely disgusting. I can't believe someone would say that to you!!!

This man needs to be complained about - how incredibly awful. I can only imagine how upset you must be..........

OMG Rach what an A-hole?

I'd front up and explain the situation, cry if you can, SYMPATHY, though after the way you've been treated Im sure you wouldn't need to pretend, they won't turn you away hun, not at all. That DR shouldn't be aloud to practise with a bedside manner like that?

Either that or you could demand another DR, or OB, tell how rude and most of all uncomfortable he makes you.

Good luck hun, oh Id like to punch him 4 you. :evil:

That is disgusting behaviour from him! I'm not sure, but I'd say if you go to the public hospital they would have to help you out. Thinking of you, just try and relax if you can, you will meet your bubba very soon.

Rachel, that is so awful for you. That OB is a vile man, imagine doing this to you now at the last minute, as if you need the stress. I am thinking of you and I hope things work out and you get the help you need and deserve.

Oh No, Rachel, what a horrible thing to happen..

Don't worry the public hosptial WILL help you - you have no issues there. Just go to casualty, they'll get the O&G Reg to see you, and take it from there. Just explain to them what has happened to you, and I am sure they will be as taken aback by that behaviour as we all are.

Best of luck, and I hope bubby makes their appearance very soon.

OMG I can't believe that he said that to you, argh I just want to slap him. If you are worried about just fronting up to the hospital maybe you could ring them now and explain the whole situation to them and see what they say. But I doubt that they would turn you away anyway.

And don't worry about what he said he's just an a$$hole like the other girls said. And maybe after buba has arrived and your other Ob is back you can ring or write him a letter about the other ob's behaviour because that is just unacceptable.

TELL HIM TO GET STUFFED.

There are plenty of alternatives, PM Kelly, she should have some ideas too.

It is not too late, this is STILL in your hands.

WHAT AN *******!

Have a lovely birth my dear, this is only a small spanner in the works, but what we have been fighting for for too long.

He is unbelieveable!!! How dare he say stuff like that. When you have bubs I would complain to the medical board. Try not to worry and concentrate on delivering a healthy baby. I would think that they can't turn you away, what are they going to do? Let you deliver in the car park, I don't think so.

Good luck Rachel, I hope you sort things out.

I agree with the other girls - how DARE he talk to you like that?
It is not his decision as to how and when you should give birth - it is NEVER his decision, and he has no right to determine what position you should be in for HIS convenience!

When you have had the baby and feel up to it, DO file a complaint - this man should not be practicing with an attitude like that.

Kerrie

Rachel - So sorry you had to endure that! I hope you have something sorted out now and that the birth goes to plan and is stress free!!

I recommend that you complain to the Health Services Commissioner about him. They have a website - I can PM you the link if you like. You can ring them and they will listen to your complaint and advise what actions they can take against him. I am absolutely appalled by the way he spoke to you and doing a procedure/test (sorry, am not sure what the stretch & sweep is) without your consent is just not on.

H

Thanks to everyone for all of your support, I'm only just getting time to update this now. Much more relaxed now too.

I called the hospital (I'm going to a public hospital) this morning after spending most of the night unable to relax enough to get any sleep, and spoke to one of the midwives.

She told me not to worry about it, asked about the kind of birth I wanted & osaid she'd organise it, and called me back within 20 minutes to let me know she's arranged another OB for me to see instead.

It means being induced earlier than I would have liked (although I'm starting to notice a lot more, and more noticable BH today), but at least he's supportive of the overall birth I'd like ideally.

The midwife said if all goes well after they put the gel on, or I go into labour naturally beforehand, that I probably won't see him at all unless theres a need for forceps or other intervention. Fingers crossed - I know this is more likely after an induction, but at least he's respectful of/open to the kind of birth I want.

That's good to hear they found you an OB willing to let you do your own thing.

I would be reporting that other OB to someone as that is just plain rudeness!

I am so glad to hear that you called about this, and that you feel comfortable now. [-o< that things will go smoothly and you won't need any intervention or induction for that matter.

Come on bubba :cheer:

Rachel
Please report him to the health commision.
This sort of person makes my blood boil.
Also remember, when you are in that labour ward it is still your body no matter what any jumped up idiot says. You can refuse to get on the bed.
I think there are 2 reasons why these obs insist on the woman being on her back to give birth.
1 Its a power thing. When on your back you are in a submisive position.
2 He is not confident in any other position because he refuses to listen to women and there midwives.

I got my fingers crossed for you hon.

Alan (Midwife)

good luck rachel - i know it will all go well...

Good luck Rachel.

That is utterly terrible! But one thing, he did you a favour, by showing his arrogance NOW instead of hitting you with it, whilst you were in labour. Imagine how much worse that'd be, trying to deal with him, whilst in all that pain? I just think it's great you got to see his true colours in time to make other arrangements. I would be reporting him for sure, and I wish you all the best with your birth. Good on you for not just 'taking it' and seeking out alternatives

Rachel, I'm glad you've had the midwife arrange a new OB for you.
I was shocked when you told me about this yesterday.

I wish you all the best and hope your birth is wonderful. I can't wait to read about it in the birth stories forum :D

Rachel,

I am so glad the midwives have sorted it out for you. I hope that you have the kind of birth you want in the end.

Very best of luck, and I cannot wait to hear how it all went!

Labour vibes +++++

Oh Rach, this is completely disgusting, appaling and I am so, so angry. This man needs to be reported - please write a letter with dates / names etc and send it to the Maternity Unit Manager, CC it to the Hospital CEO and Bronwyn Pike if you want to get things done - things happen quickly then. He deserves forceps and an episiotomy on himself, without any anaesthetic! I am so angry!!!

Please contact me if you want any help or support sweety. I'd be there for you in a flash, and would happily be your birth attendant to hold your own space for you at no cost.

I'm SOOO glad to hear that the midwives would be able to help you out!! As I told you on Saturday, its absolutely disgusting that someone would even suggest that birthing on the bed is the best option ](*,)

Gosh it makes me soooo sad and yet so angry to hear that this sort of practice can still go on. I hope he is reported and cant intimidate and bully another woman. All the best for a wonderfully active birth... :D

Jo

Hi Rach,

I was just so livid when I read your post and utterly amazed that someone like this can even get anywhere near pregnant women!
It's probably not something you want to put energy into until after you
have birthed your bub, but I wholeheartedly agree with the other ladies.....REPORT HIM.


If he did a stretch and sweep without your consent, it is surely nothing short of assault on your person? You could possibly have him charged....perhaps talk to Legal Aid. Sounds like more stress I know and with a new baby hard to contemplate going down that road, but a positive thing could come of it.....It would certainly stop him from doing the same thing to other ladies in future.

Well, I will now send you lots of good vibes for a positive birth experience......try hard to get your mind focussed back to where it was before your unfortunate encounter with this disgusting man and look forward to meeting your beautiful baby.

All the best
Tracie

I was appalled and outraged to read your post Rachel.
This is the type of person who most definitely should not be in the business of assisting women birth their babies.
If you did not give consent for a strip and stretch (or sweep of membranes) it could be assault.
I encourage you to write down what was said in a letter of complaint to this practise. A copy of this letter needs to go to the Health Rights Commission and another to the AMA. Very clearly state how his behaviour made you feel. Words such as violated and that your rights as a patient were not met. I am more than happy to assist you with this if you would like. Another option is to contact the Maternity Coalition in Victoria. They may be able to offer assistance. I can supply you with a contact if you would like. Well done for having the courage to seek out an alternative for you and your baby. I sincerely hope that you can feel safe and supported in your new birthing environment.
It sounds like your original obstetrician made a very bad choice in who he had replacing him. Did this happen in the public system (I am in Qld and not knowledgeable about hospitals in Victoria)? If so the hospital will have a 'Charter for Patient Rights and Responsibilities' - or some such document. I don't even need to read it to know he has transgressed it!
A very similar situation happened to me in the weeks prior to birthing my fourth baby. It was deeply deeply disturbing. I was to have my baby at a public hospital birth centre (the only one in South east Qld and the place I had birthed all of my other children). In the end the hospital paid for me to have the birth of my choice (active labour with the option of water) at a private hospital. I had more time up my sleeve. (that is another story for another time!)
I wish I could offer you more practical support in this difficult situation.
Remember you are about to embark on the journey of birth. Put all of this on hold (except for documenting what was said for later reference, as often it is hard to recall) and focus on birthing your baby. Gather support from your partner, friends and family.
You are very strong and courageous.
I look forward to hearing of your birth and beautiful baby. Later I hope to hear of the outcome of this most disgraceful fiasco at the hands of this most misguided man.
With love and positive thoughts for you and your baby,
Deb

I just want to add. Please release the fear and ridiculous notion that you will kill your baby if not induced. PROVIDING there are no indicators and the advice you have from your carers (apart from this tosser) is that your baby is well. Two of my four babies were born at 42 weeks. 40 weeks is an indicator, it is normal to birth 2 weeks on either side of that time.
This obstetrician wants you on the bed so he doesn't get his tie messed up and so it is easier on him. It suits this character type to have you in a position of subservience. Forget easier on anyone but you. The World Health Organisation (WHO) have guidelines for birth - trust me on a bed in the lithotomy position is not one of them!
Try to put out of your mind all that he has said and focus on birthing your baby in a calm, supportive and nurturing environment....Much love,
Deb

I havent read the Birth Announcements forum but i hope theres one in there saying what a magical birth you had.

What an utter loser...

Please check the announcements forum, Rachael finally has her little man. Both mum and bubs (oh and DH) are doing well and will be home in a few days.

Once home and settled I am sure the Rachael will be in to post her birth story and thank you all for the amazing support you have shown her.

I'm not sure that she had the actual birth she invisioned but I know that she could be active and that she was definately not confined to the bed and the pig of an OB (don't worry Kelly I wont name him) was nowhere near her for the experience.

What a relief Kerry, I would be interested in his name if you could email me? Thanks :)

Email sent Kelly. :D

Oh Rach you poor poor thing.....I'm so glad that you had your baby... Good Luck with everything