Baby Alexander - born and died 28-04-08

Hello All,

I'm a first timer on this forum but hope that telling you my story might ease the pain that I'm feeling.

I gave birth to my son Alexander last Monday. Following a healthy pregnancy, Alex was born 3 days before his due date. We had geared up for this day and were fully prepared for the labour, as this is our second son.

I only felt a few movements on Sunday morning but assumed that all had quietened down by the afternoon as I was experiencing contractions. When we got to the hospital I was hooked up to the ECG to monitor our baby. When they had difficulty finding the heartbeat, they tried a scalp probe. Finally an ultrasound revealed the unimaginable. Alex had died. The midwives were as shocked as we were.

Following a long labour, Alex was born at 8:36am on Monday 28th April. We are still in a state of shock. It is so hard to believe that this has happened. I'm feeling so alone and desperate. The funeral is on Wednesday and I truly don't know how on earth we are going to get through it.

Trying to recover physically and emotionally - will this ever end?

oh hun - i cant even absorb what you are going through :hug:

I cant talk from first hand experience but, unfortunately, there are a few others here who have had to endure what you are no going through here on these forums.

Hopefully some of the ladies here can be your pillars of strength.

Oh Danek - my heart breaks for you :( What a terrible shock - I'm so sorry you lost your son in such traumatic and unexpected circumstances. Did you get any reason yet as to what might have happened to your little man? There are quite a few ladies in the late loss thread who have also sadly experienced a stillbirth - so you have come to the right place for understanding and support. I lost my son last year - he was one day old, and his death was equally unexpected and traumatic. It's the most horrendous and sad thing to experience - and only time will ease your pain somewhat - but don't have too high expectations of yourself for some time :hug:

I wish there were more I could say to ease the devastating pain and grief I know you will be experiencing, but all I can offer is some degree of understanding and plenty of cyber hugs.

Lee xo

My heart breaks when i hear of stories like this. Im so sorry for your loss hun.
I have no answers, nor have i experienced a still birth as my angels grew wings very early on. But know that we are all here for you and i will be thinking of you today and everyother day, especially wednesday. And im sure Alexander will be watching over you both and guiding you through this very emotional time.

my thoughts are with you
treelo

My heart is breaking for you :hug:

Oh Danek

I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling but lots of :hug: to you.

One of my friends had a stillbirth (also her second baby) and she has recovered - although it took a long time. We still remember her baby (who would have been 6 this year).

Take up all the support you can from everyone.

We are all here for you

Sasha

i'm so sorry
i'm so so sorry danek

I am so so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious baby boy :hug:.

You will find lots of support from the special ladies here.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family now and especially on Wednesday

I am so truely sorry to read of the loss of your darling baby boy.

A big hug to you and your family.

Thinking of you,
Debbie

Oh my, I'm so so sorry for your huge loss of your beautiful little boy. He must have just been way too special for this world. I have no words to say :( however please know I am deeply sorry for your loss and I do hope in time you and your family can find peace and a way to deal with what has happened. :comfort: :comfort:

So sorry to hear of your loss, huge hugs to you and your family. I hope you find belly belly to be a huge support there are many woman here who have also suffered losses who can hopefully help you on your heart breaking journey.

Danek I'm so sorry your little Alex passed away :hug: and how sad that these are the tragic conditions in which you've found BellyBelly. I hope you find comfort and hope amongst the women and men in this community -- some of whom have walked a similar painful road to you. May Alex rest in peace.

As the angel of life opened her book, and went to write your sons name, she gently closed her book, and whispered, "Too beautiful for this world...."

I am so so so sorry for your loss...... :comfort:

Danek,
I am so very sorry and saddened to hear about the loss of your perfect angel Alexander.
Sending you loads of cyber hugs and keeping you in my thoughts.
Lisa

Danke: I am so so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son and I sadly know the pain all to well, I lost my son at 36 weeks 2 days. At the moment the pain is just so raw, you are in survival mode so just do what you need to do to get through these horrible days. When I laid my son to rest I was almost in another body, I could not and would not believe that this was happening. I have no idea how I got through it, but I did, and you will also.

You have shown unimaginable strength giving birth to your son and that strength will get you through the next hours, days and months. I know how long those days are, it feels like the pain will never end, like life isn't worth it anymore but you will survive this hun, I promise you the clouds will slowly start to lift and the sun will begin to shine upon your face again.

Although I am a complete stranger to you, I will hold your hand through this and if there is anything I can do, any question you want to ask please do be afraid.

With compassion and understanding.

Lv Spring

Stillborn but born still.

RIP sweet little Alexander.

oh hunni...im so sorry :hug2:

Danek - I am so very sorry to hear about your son Alexander :hug: My heart breaks to read of another precious baby growing wings. You have shown so much strength to be able to post your story here. Unfortunately I also know your pain as I lost my son Nicholas at 36w1d. I remember his funeral as almost like an out of body experience, like it was someone else and I was just watching. Wednesday is going to be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do but know that Alexander will be with you guiding you through, every step of the way.

Please know that we are all here for you whenever you need us, I personally found BB to be the one place I could go for unconditional support and I hope you find some comfort here also.

Take care, big :hug: and thinking of you on Wednesday.

Mel

I am so so sorry for your loss of your beautiful Alex.

My thoughts are with you and your family... :hug:

I am so truly sorry for the loss of your dear son Alex - this is unimaginable - my thoughts are with you and your family. Life is so unfair sometimes.

I am so sorry to hear that your sweet boy has grown wings.

There is nothing anyone can say to ease your pain but I hope you are able to find solace in all these gorgeous women surrounding and supporting you through this heartbreaking time :hug:

Danek - I am so so sorry for the loss of your precious son Alexander. Nothing I can say seems enough at this tragic time.I can only imagine the hell you are living right now. I have lost 4 babies but none so far along when no one expects anything to go wrong. I truly hope you can get some sort of answers as to why. I know it will not bring Alexander back but it may help bring some closure.
Wishing you strength to get through Wednesday and I hope you will have supportive friends and family to hold you.
I also hope you can take some comfort in talking to other women who have lost as you have. You will need to speak to others who truly understand

Danek, I am so sad to hear about your loss. I hope you find strength in your nearest and dearest, you have already been through so much. My heart goes out to you for Wednesday and of course, the other days following :comfort:

:hug:

I am so sorry, words just escape me at the moment. {{{HUGS}}} to you & I'll be thinking of you and your family

Oh no Danek, I'm so sorry for the loss of your son Alexander. May he rest in peace and watch over you and your DH.

My heart goes out to you. I cannot fathom what you have experienced. allow yourself time to grieve and dont let anyone tell you what to feel.

AlisonM

I am so very very sorry for the loss of your sweet angel baby Alex. :hug:

Spring, what a beautiful and touching post. Huge hugs for you too sweety :hug:

So brave of you to share your story. I'm so sorry for your loss I could never imagine what you are going through.

We will all be thinking of you tomorrow.

Rest in peace little Prince Alex

I feel so desperate for you. My heart aches thinking how you must be feeling. Please be kind to yourself.

Danek, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your little boy. My heart goes out to you.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
I'm so very sorry to hear of the terrible news of your beautiful son Alexander.

Danek - I am so sorry for the loss of baby Alexander. My heart goes out to you and your family. Please take care of your self and drop in here to BB whenever you just need to vent or chat. Take care hon

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
Sending you many hugs.

Danek: Thinking of you and your family tomorrow as you lay your angel to rest. I will light a candle for your precious little Alexander. :hug:

Lv Spring

Danek: As you lay precious little Alexander to rest today, please know that he will never be forgotten and will always be in a special little place in my heart reserved for Angels. I hope it brings you comfort to know I've had a chat to Harry and he is going to look after you boy.

I only hope today helps you begin to heal. :hug:

With support and understanding.
Lv Spring

Hi Danek,
I have tears in my eyes I cannot imagine going through what you are going through. Thinking of you today.
Thankyou for sharing your story hopefully we can support you through this emotional journey
Big Hugs:hug:

Thinking of you and your family today.
:hug:

Thinking of you and your family today Danek... I have lit a candle for Alexander just now.

I am so so sorry that you have to go thru this pain... You will survive this and little Alexander will always watch over you.

With so much love and caring,
Deb

Oh no, that's just so heartbreaking. I'm so so sorry for you loss. May your heart heal in time. :hug:

xoxox