Letting off some more steam

I don't think I'll ever sleep properly again.

I can't stand this, I wish I had weaned DD a long time ago. I've had success with no boobies during the day, only one to go to sleep. But that ONE turns into 15, she keeps demanding boobs over and over again at nightime. If she wakes at night "boobies, need you mum, boobies". So this is usually 2x a night.
I've got Mitch waking once to go to the toilet, sometimes another time with a bad dream. I start dinner, bed, bath at 5.30pm every night to get the plenty of time to settle. I've been doing the SAME routine, verbatim every single night for at least a YEAR.
What does my head in the most is that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't and when it doesn't I'm stuffed for the rest of the night. 2 weeks ago, DD was going to sleep fine, minimal yelling (2-3mins), maybe waking about 3 for a quick boob then back to sleep in bed with me (its bluddy COLD here).

Last night

5.30 Dinner
6.00 Bath, jarmies quiet play
6.30 Supper, small snack, brush teeth
7.00 Story and bed
8.30 still settling DD
10pm DD wakes yelling again
10.30 give up and go to bed with DD
1am DS wakes for the toilet
3am DS wakes with bad dream and is cold - in bed with me
5am DD wakes for a boob
8am all awake, stumble out of bed and cry from exhaustion

Yes I like being a parent but FFS my youngest is 2 and I thought I would be able to get some decent sleep or even 2 consecutive hours to myself at night.
I'd love some time to myself at night to be able to maybe read, do housework, cook or even STARE AT THE WALL. Sometimes I do get it...sometimes.
What kills me the most is the whole ON/OFF thing, if it was total crap and lack of sleep ALL THE TIME I could cope with that (I think), but I never know whats in store. I can get nothing done.

I have to go back to work and quickly. How the hell will I be able to manage?
I'm tired, my boobs are tired and I just resent the hell out of everything to do with being a parent right now. I don't even care how this sounds I need to get it off my chest.

:hug: for you because you need them.
Don't feel bad about anything that you have to post in here, we all know how bloody rough it is sometimes and really, sometimes you would just like to leave home!!!!!!

I hope it does get better for you soon. If it makes you feel better, I was a bad mummy last night and pushed DS (who was screamin blue bloody murder in his cot) because he didn't want to go to sleep. Lucky he bounced on the mattress. Mummy has a temper!!

We all go through crappy stages. Hang in there. Keep your chin up and keep pluggin away.

You are doing a fantastic job. :hug:

Hi
You poor thing i could imagine how you are feeling!!! Except the trying to wean your 2yr off your breast totally!!! This might sound harsh (for your 2 yr old) but why dont you just 'shut shop' altogether and just try to ride it out.... as you said it is only the overnight feeds that he wants mummies boobs... just say no ... no more mummys boobs all gone. If we want milk we have it in a special cup and then when he wakes up and need a drink just give him a small cup a microwaved milk and settle him that way but dont give in!!!
Are you married? Where is your husband?
Ainsley x

:hug: Do you want to run away and join the circus with me?

ps..... i didnt mean Where is your husband (as if you need one) i meant why doesnt he help with all the night time settling etc etc iykwim

Ainsleyx

:hug: I know the feeling. My DD has started waking up to 6 times a night after it only being once for months. I have no idea why and I'm buggered and sooooo over it. I thought by now we'd be close to sleeping through the night again. And yep I've had the tears of frustration and sleep deprivation, alot lately and it's getting to me.
It's not easy being a mumma. We do the best we can. We're all doing a great job.

Thanks bubs, Dp is only here 3 nights a week. He's not bad with settling at night, but DD is known to throw a mean left hook is she doesn't get her mummy.

Dach - packing my bags, can we go somewhere warm?

:hug::hug: Christ babe, we've all been there!!!

I too would be shutting up shop on the boobs, unless it is something you wish to keep up. If you do, how about a "night time" bra?? As in when mummy has it on, the boobs are asleep?? I know it will be hard, but stopping the night feeds cold turkey will work eventually. My cousin put that yucky nail polish to stop you biting your nails on her boobs at night, and her daughter stopped quick smart!! They only taste nice at feed time!!

For DS maybe an all in one sleep suit will keep him warm?? They come in big sizes now. Dont know how he could toilet in it though!!:lol:

prob not much help, so have a hug instead!!:hug::hug:

I know how you feel, have been going through night waking with my DD on and off for a few months now. Not proud to say it just about did my head in last night, I was just so sick of getting up all night and really resenting the fact that even though my 6 month old was fast asleep, here I was anyway at 3am, eyes hanging out of my head.

It's hard to take, you'd think at 2 or 3 sleeping issues would be over, and they were for a very, very long time for us. She slept through the night (13 blissful hours) from 8 months and then suddenly started waking again about 6 months ago. Like you, it's not every night, not even every week, but I never know when it's going to happen.

I feel your pain...I feel like I will never sleep again.

oh well ... your dd? can try to to connect with the left hook but your bigger than her to miss it connecting lol

Seriously just be extra strong with her and the boob thing it is just a habit and she really doesnt need it for milk as such just to settle erself back to sleep... well she might be in for a total shock !

I do have a child who is nearly 8yrs but i only bf for 2 mths as i hated it but i had troubles getting his dummy off him and in the end after a few tantrums he saw me toss the dummies in the bin and he was 2 1/2yrs. I swapped the dummy for a rug thing for bed time and it worked..... so maybe swap the boob/settling habit for something else so your dear boobs are closed for ever ... welll for a milk supply at least .

xx

i have to go but if you have msn add me a_ins_ley@hotmail.com as i would love to know the outcome .... cheers ainsley

Yes, the boobie shop is officially closed. Damn it, I'm not sleeping much anyway so this is another storm I'll have to ride. I might get her a special blanket (she has rejected special dolls for bed as soon as she knows what I'm hinting at) for bed or something.

Willow, wanna come join the circus too?

Thanks laydeez, I think I needed help to totally shut up boobshop. I was hoping it would be different, but its not. So closed it is...

:hug: I know its hard, but when its time , its time babe!!

You done amazing!!!:dance::clap:
good luck honey!!:hug:

Lulu, pack for somewhere warm but don't forget your warms as well. We'll go where ever the circus takes us....

Just wanted to add my sympathies Lulu. I've been there and done that. It's a miserable time. But it's not going to last forever! They will move out eventually. :)
How's today going? Or have you and Chloe run off already? Let me know if the circus is coming my way, and I'll come and be the poo-shoveler. I'm good at cleaning up poo, let me tell you! :rolleyes:

Ooh OK -now the how-to.

I can't thrown my boobs in the bin. Do I just tell her "no more boobs" when she wants to go to bed?

OK - well I'm going to be riding an elephant I have decided...

I'll be a lion - I jump through hoops all day and night as it is anyway!!

:hug: :hug: good luck tonight.

Awww I can so relate..i was feeling the same way last September. Sammy was 26 months when we weaned and Id so had enough. I was trying to study on no sleep..it was impossible. As soon as he weaned because Mummy's boobies were broken he instantly started sleeping better. Darren and I just looked at each other and went what the???? Best of luck...youve done a brilliant job.:clap:

Jo

:

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Dach - packing my bags, can we go somewhere warm?

---

It is reasonably warm in Brisbane ......... Come save me from my nearly 35 year old child!!!

Ah LuLu - you are a much stronger woman than me, so if I could wean a boobie addict, then you can to! I would have run off and joined the circus, but I have a fear of clowns :redface: Just wish the boobie broken line worked with DD, she would just argue back that they were not broken :rolleyes:

Well you're heading up to Cairns to be my birth bouncer anyway, and it's still warm!

I hope you find a solution to this problem. I have no idea what to suggest, but I hope it doesn't take long. :hug:

Lulu i hear you loud and clear!

i am still trying to find a way to wean my boobie monster... i tell her boobies are broken/empty/gone, but she just looks at me if to say 'umm yeah sure mum' and proceeds to pull at my top.

i dread going to bed of a night.. if i could id stay awake forever. i feed Krystal to sleep- which means she has no bedtime.. she just falls asleep whenever she falls asleep! very frustrating, then is usually in our bed within three hours of going to sleep the first time. boobie again, back to sleep- at this point i cant put her back into her bed for at least 15 mins, because she will wake up- so i end up falling back asleep. she will wake again for boobie, then back to sleep. when dp gets up @ 4.30am, i shove her over to his side of the bed- she wakes and boobie again. then we have about another 4-5 hours sleep uninterupted... untill she wakes me about 9-10am.

its frustrating, its annoying, it makes me so angry.

sorry no advice, but just a big hug... and a big 'i hear ya!'

How's it going Honey!? THinking of you!

Hmmmm, good and crap.

I couldn't change everything at once, so we have dropped boobs for bedtime only. Which works fabulously well if Beth doesn't have a sleep during the day. She goes right off on the boob but tbh, its not really a solution because she is still not going to sleep on her own. If she has a sleep and I put her in bed (no matter how tired she is), she screams the house down like before. So I have put a chair in the room, sit next to her cot and sing/pat her back/juggle/do backflips until she goes off.
Still waking in the night but she doesn't ask for boobs - or during the day either. So a small win.

The next big issue is Mitch and his behaviour (put it in here no hijacking your thread Div!). I have no answers for you, let alone myself. Its sort of the same because he also has an Fwit father modelling crap behaviour, but the poor kid has been frustrated since he was 4 weeks old. With the colic/reflux he could never seem to sleep and he was always tired or overtired. It took us years for him to catch up on sleep, and to be able to get what he needs, but what's left is a hair trigger temper/reaction, and his fists fly in frustration. He also seems unable to walk past his sister without shoving her into the wall.
I do all you do, and have been for a long time, but it seems to be to be punishing the poor fella for things beyond his control and having no effect at all.
I don't let N take the kids back to his house anymore, at least until he has got some help with his ridiculous expectations of a 3 yr old, and better ways to deal with him, but also because N's mother is the QUEEN of modelling crap behaviour (remember Lulu the Bipolar Bear?), and I refuse to let either child near her. Actually N was on the phone this morning telling me how the old bat got so frustrated with her laptop that she smashed it to pieces. Of course it wasn't her fault....but I digress.

But the icing on the top of the cake and the thing that has had me collapsed in a corner sobbing all week is this. I have called somewhere on referral to have Mitch seen individually and to get some better strategies for dealing with the short fuse, I had a lovely talk with a very nice woman who made me feel alot better, but let me know there would be a 2 week wait for daytime appts, and 5 weeks for evening appts, so I put in for day appt. And waited.

Now I'm totally on the bones of my arse financially. I had to go to the community centre and ask for toilet paper and soap yesterday. I've needed to get back to work for about 6 weeks but I wanted Mitch to get seen to ASAP before he started daycare. I was a bit worried he might belt another kid or something, but they both need the stimulation and the company so I talked my way out of the guilt of going straight back to full time hours.

I still haven't heard from the parenting place, I called yesterday and it seems they have no idea what I am talking about, someone was going to call me back and they haven't bothered. I've waited all this time for nothing and I'm about to lose the plot. I've had a near migraine for 3 days, the kids are climbing the walls out of boredom which of course is no good for the behaviour side of things. I've done ok for the last few months, just cut right back on everything, and it's not been so bad - just doesn't get me anywhere financially, but with having to buy all extra security, curtains etc its blown my fragile budget right out of the water, I'm farked and all I want is to crawl under the bed and wait for someone else to come and fix everything for me, I've got no reserves left now :crying:

I've really got no answers just lots of hugs :hug:
I wish I could come down to Melbourne and fix everything up so you can stay under your bed (although the thought of people under the bed gives me the heebie-jeebies)

:hug::hug:Oh babe... Maybe you and Div can move in together?? Share the kids and the bills :cryinglaugh:

But seriously, I am just going to go ahead and assume you may be on at least one payment from centrelink, meaning you can access all their services for free. They may not be top of the line, but they are there. Also, if you are on benefits, they can write you a letter. Take it to Red Cross or Lifeline, and they will help with rent, phone and elec bills. They can give food too. It seems so emmbaresing, but I had to when me and hubby first split, and it was truly a lifesaver. It is more important to help your son than worry about work at the moment. If you cant access this help, than my post was useless, sorry!!!:lol:

Good luck babe...:hug:

I just got caught short.. THE FRICKEN BANK charged me $70 in bank fees for overdrawing my EFTPOS account. How that works I dunno, I don't have an overdraft, it was overdrawn by $18, so obviously a $70 charge is well justified :wall:. I haven't had the strength to ring and give the the riot act and get my money put back in. Its strictly my "bugger I forgot xxx during the weekly shop" account its not used often (and its my secret Hair Account, I may be poor as a church mouse but I refuse to have bad hair OR smell).

FFS!! The banks suck!! There is something seriously wrong with the world when the banks can't respect a girl's secret hair account :angry:

oooooo the BUSTARDS!! Just got my statement and they have been doing this to me for 3 months....I'm gonna go start a thread about that one.

Hhmmm had a great nights sleep, migraine gone and I've got my groove back already.
I will need help with my poor little mans short fuse, its compounded by this developmental stage being full of frustrations too!

It's funny, just when I feel the need to crawl under the bed I clicked into Mary Poppins mode. We sat down and had the greatest tea party with my babes, we talked about all manner of ridiculous things (my fav subject) and laughed our butts off. So back to it!

So glad to hear that you're out from under the bed Lulu. :)

:in my best mary poppins voice: "Just a spoon full of sugar to help the medicine go down, the medicine go doooow-ooowwwn....."

(I couldn't spell the supercali.... whatchamacallit song. :))

Here's hoping for a much better day, turning into a much better week....

Hang in there - you'll make it honey. :hug:

oh man :hug: sorry I missed this Lulu!!! I think you girls need to come to Brissy in the warm sun & chase my chickens around and frolick. Dreams.....

Lulu my stuff with the Triple P worked so well for me. They really helped me learn how to deal with the "problem" behaviour and to mentally cope. Off milk, it works well in our house. With milk.... its still a nightmare. (Milk allergy is the root of all evil).

Matilda also enjoys giving a good shove to her sister whenever she walks by :rolleyes: I wish these two kids would stop communicating via ESP... we can't keep up with them!!!

:hug: lulu!!

I have no advice fror you...except about your bank fee!
Mine did the same to me last month...so I called them and gave them hell.
Apparently even though I have not got want or requested an overdraft, when you are a 'good' customer, the Magical Computer Bank Man makes a decision to allow you to overdraw yor account. Of course, they dont tell you that Magical Computer Bank Man has made this decision, or that even though it was THEIR decision, they will charge you dishonour fees for overdrawing your account (how that is legal Ill never know)
Anyway, I rang them, got the run around, and after some not so subtle hints of Current Affair and a solicitor, they reversed teh charges and noted own that I NEVER wnated to be allowed to overdraw my account and that if it happened again, I would be onto Neil Mitchell quicker than it could make their heads spin.

So call them, reverese it and make sure they dont do it again...its disgraceful!

:) HTH