Vbac that did go wrong!

Hi everyone,
I really do not want to put anyone off a vbac but sometimes things do not go well. My second pregnancy was one of those, I just want people to be aware. It was always made out to be so easy if things started to go wrong.:(
I had a c-section with my first baby due to failure to progress, and with our second baby all went well and I was just told that if things did not look good they would take me down for a c-section!! Well my uterus did rupture after about 9 hours of labour and at 7cms things went tragically wrong. My uterus had ruptured and my darling baby girls head had pushed into my stomach cavity. Sadly she did not make it and I was very close to death due to the huge loss of blood.
I can let people know much more detail if you want, I have my story which I wrote for SANDS (stillbirth and neonatal death support) on my computer if anyone wants it.
We have gone on to have another baby which was a very risky one and he was delivered by c-section at 33 weeks due to complications from the rupture and the fact that this time I also had grade 4 placenta praevia.
Please do not be put off but be aware of the huge loss when you are that % that goes wrong.
If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.

Thanks Nikki

:hug: Hi Nikki

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss. :hug:

I am one of the people on here that are going for a VBAC, and I am aware of the percentage of people that have something that goes wrong. I'm also aware of the risks associated with another c-section, so I figure there is risk attached to everything that we do, and the baby has to get out somehow!!!

Its good to hear from someone who has been through the worst to get some perspective, so again, thank you for coming forward and telling your story. :hug:

Take care.

:hug: sorry for your loss. what a sad story.

Good on you for posting and talking about it.

Every side of a story should be told, when making any decision in life it is important to be well informed of the risks and possible complications and then make an informed decision.

again, i am so sorry it didn't go so well for you. :hug:

I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your baby. I can only imagine the incredible trauma. Thankyou for sharing your story with us.
:hug:

Thankyou, I hope things go well for you. I do know a few people that did have a sucessful vbac. I know it is not very common but it went wrong so quickly that there was no time and due to the fact that I had had an epidural as well I was unaware of the initial pain. I do know that at the hospital where it happened they have implemented new guide lines for vbac. I did not even have an iv line in and they even had to shave me before I was taken to theatre, all the while I am screaming in absolute agony and begging them to knock me out.
I'm sure things will go well but if you even think something is not right let them know.
Thanks again
Nikki

Nikki,

Sweety I am so sorry for your loss babe, what a tragedy. I hope that your heart is a little healed with the new little man.

Can I ask what the gap was between your first c/s and attempted VBAC? Sorry but I am considering VBAC for my next baby and want to know all I can so i can make an informed decision.

HUgs and many thanks for sharing your story sweety,
Lisa

Nikki, thank you for sharing your story. I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss of your baby. :hug:

Seriously, it's so good that you shared this side of VBAC. It must be so hard to read the posts supporting it and think - yes but! that's not what happened to me. Posts like yours are part of why I think BB is such a powerful force - information for women, to be empowered and informed.

I too was born by VBAC (a l-o-o-o-ong time ago) and I was born extrauterine. Fortunately both my mother and I made it, but it was a close call, and of course no more siblings after that for me. I had hoped things had changed since then, I think mostly they have, but obviously still alot of learning on the hospital's side to learn. I hope you may gain some very small relief in knowing that your experience may save another baby (at that hospital) and that your little boy helps you go on and brings you happiness.

Hi, I had my first DS in Sept 2002 and Lilli (VBAC) was born full term on 18/04/05. So this was not a short time really. The rupture was the entire length of my previous scar plus it also tore down towards my cervix. At first they told me I would not be able to have anymore, but after long talks etc I was allowed to try again. So we have another cheeky DS. I was probably like most others who had not had a natural birth and so desperatley wanting it, now I just feel that being able to walk out of hospital with your baby is much more important. Make the dessicion that is right for you and good luck.
Thanks so much Nikki

Thankyou for posting your story nikkialma, it is so important for people to realise that no matter how small the chances of a rupture are, the fact that the rupture risk is NOT 0% means that Real women, Real babies, DO suffer that trauma. A statistical risk still has a name, a face.

It's also wonderful of you to share details such as the iv not being in and you having an epidural which mean that potential VBACers can make more informed decisions about their pain relief options and allow them to check out their obs VBAC protocol from a more informed POV.

I'm so sorry your little girl didn't make it, and so glad your uterus was able to be repaired well enough for you to have your little boy.

Thanks again hun.

Bx

Nikki,

Thank-you for sharing your story, I second what all the others have said, trauma is trauma and just because you had a VBAC doesnt mean you cant share it, so thank-you. :hugs: Small risks are rare, but do happen - its important to know this. I had a client who had an induction and she ended up with a hysterectomy as the bleeding didnt stop. This is rare, but it happened and affected her and we spent much time talking about it and helping her through it.

A question: did you have a classical c/s or a LUSCS? From what you describe with the way it tore, it sounds like a classical (but may not be, interested to know) as classical scars are more likely to tear and I know some Obs wont recommend a VBAC if you have a classical scar. These days a classical c/s is rarely done, instead a luscs.

Hi, No I had the LUSCS. I was a ideal candidate to do a trial of scar, everything went so well throughout the pregnancy. One thing I will say is that from the first onset of labour it was very painful, nothing like the 19 hrs of labour with 1st DS. I even remember saying to my husband after 2 hrs I think I should just have a c/s as it was so painful.
You can only look back now and see how different it felt, as at the time you just want to give birth the " real way"!
thanks Nikki

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You can only look back now and see how different it felt, as at the time you just want to give birth the " real way"!

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Did your carers talk to you about your higher pain levels? I only know a few VBACers in real life but their care providers constantly asked them questions like "where is the pain?", "is the pain continuous or only with the contractions?", "describe the pain, is it burning or sharp?", "does the pain make you feel nauseus" etc. etc. I guess sometimes there isn't a way to know what is going on, as labours can feel different even within normal situations. Even in my (non VBAC, home) birth the MW asked me pain questions to ascertain how deep into labour i was and that i wasn't having an abruption. I hope you don't mind answering all these questions!

Bx

Yes I was always asked about any pain especially lower pain even throughout the pregnancy. I was given the epidural in the end because i kept getting the urge to push which I naturally did. But I was not ready it was far too early, I guess it was more painfull from the start but more like the later stages of labour. Not in a particular area.
I know it is such a difficult thing and some people will not be happy that I have put this thread on the site but hey it happened to me and you might be told that if things start to go wrong they will just take you for an e c/s. Well if you rupture the blood supply can cut of instantly to your baby and if the c/s is not done quick enough then the result is devistating.
Nikki

I can't really say what the pain was like when I actually ruptured because I had had an epidural, I felt nothing to begin with, it was DD heart rate that sent the room into caos. But believe me the pain soon started and at one point I looked down at my belly and it had changed shape due to the fact that DD head had pushed through the rupture. If you don't have an epidural it may be better as you would be aware sooner.
I don't mind answering any questions, if it helps anyone make a desicion. I know I made mine at the time and no one could have changed it!!!

Nikki hun, you are so brave to share your story and answer all the questions. I hope you don't feel like you shouldn't have posted here, because I think your experience is a very valuable one for our members. You shouldn't be afraid to share your experience and I commend you for helping others with their decision making.

Big, big hugs to you hun. I am so sorry for your loss.

Nikki, your story absolutely breaks my heart, what a horrifying thing to go through, I'm so so sorry you lost your little princess. I had a VBAC last November and it was extremely difficult, harder than I thought it would be but I'm glad I did it. It is scarey though to hear a "real" story of when it all go wrong. Oh dear, I'm just so sad for you.

thanks for putting light on this Nikki, I appreciate your story and respect you for putting it out for us to help other women make informed decisions ....

Oh Nikki, I just wanted to say that I am so so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious little girl :hug:

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It goes to show that there are real risks whichever option we choose.

Nikki, :hug: to you and I'm so sorry to hear about your little princess. Thanks for sharing this, you're very brave and inspirational. I was scared having a VBAC and for me it was successful, but scary in some respects as that was a fear of mine. I'm so happy for you that you were able to have another little bub after this and also that you were brave enough to even go there, I don't think I would've been. Again, thanks for your story.

Hi Cass, thanks for your reply. I'm so pleased your vbac went well, i know is goes well for most. I'm sure I would make the same dessicion if we could turn back time. Going on to have my 3rd bub was so hard, it was scary enough anyway and at 19 weeks we were told that I had a grade 4 placenta praevia and my risk of heomorage (cant spell) was so high now, plus there was a chance I would end up with a hystorectomy. Due to the fact that the placenta could grow through the old scar tissue. My family would not let me do anything, I managed to get to 33 weeks when I went into labour and they were unable to stop it. So my darling DS was delivered by cs, due to complications I was put straight under GA and only saw him for a minute or two ( not even allowed to touch him) then he was flown off to Brsbane Royal Childrens NICU. I did not get transfered for 2 days as I was in ICU as well. The placenta did grow through my uterus wall but yet again they managed to save it, but there is no way we are having anymore. DS is now almost 15 months and doing fairly well though we do have some on going problems that I hope to get on top of soon.
I wish anyone the best of luck with there vbac.
Thanks nikki

Nikkialma your sons are so lucky to have you as a mumma! It was so brave of you to go ahead and have #3 after the trauma of losing #2 and the (what must have been horrific) injuries to your uterus you suffered during the rupture. And to go through such a scary PG (my brother was c-section due to praevia too, mum almost died having him, also around 33weeks) and then have to have GA to have him and THEN having to have him whisked away for treatment at another hospital...

What a mama you are! I hope all of the issues resolve completely and you all get the happiness and fulfillment you so profoundly deserve after all your family has been through.

Bx

Nikki, I'm so glad to hear that your DS 2 is doing quite well. What lucky boys as hoobley said to have you as their mum. I hope that it all just gets better and better for you and your family.

Hi Nikki,
I am soory for the loss of your precious princess. I am one of those girls who has had 2 emergancy c-sections and was really wanting to try vbac when we go back for a 3rd (1st breech, 2nd heart rate to high and posteria) but my doctor has told me straight out 2 ceasers always a ceaser which was quite upsetting and no other doctor from where I live will do it so would have to travel, but reading your post has made me think that vbac would be good but I would also like to walk away with a healthy baby and a healthy mum and not risk a ruptured uterine which may or may not happen so thankyou for your story it has put my mind a ease and I think would be better if I just book in for a c-section next time round.. I still feel upset about not being able to deliver my children naturaly but to be as worry free as possible and have a healthy baby and mum thats all that counts for me!!
So thankyou so much once again.

Hi, thanks for your reply. I do understand that real wish to have a natural birth.Thats exactly why I did a vbac with dd, but after loosing her i really did not care how my last ds was born because at the end of the day we got to bring him home!!!!! The worst thing in my life was hearing my husbands words as they woke me in recovery," she didn't make it darling, Lilli didn't make it". Nothing is worth having to hear those words. I don't mean to sound morbid but thats how it was.
I wish you all the very best and even though I had complications with this c/s due to the praevia keep it a secret, but I was driving at 2 weeks. I recovered very quickly, maybe because ds was in hosp for 3 weeks.
thanks nikki

Oh Nikki your story bought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for your loss.
I'm thankful everyday that my VBA2C went well and my baby boy is happy and healthy. Your story made me appreciate it even more.

Melissa

Thanks heaps for sharing your experience.

I still haven't made up of mind - VBAC or elective-c. I guess your DH words have done it for me. My DH doesn't want me to VBAC as the gap in my children will only be 11 months and he thinks the risks are just too high. After reading your story I realise there is a risk, an unnessary risk which is fine if the VBAC goes well but would break my DH heart if I convinced him I wanted a VBAC and it didn't go well. I'm carrying our last child who will be our one and only little girl. I can't imagine if she didn't make it.

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss and wish you could of been reading this when you were pregnant with DD. I hope you realise what a great thing you are doing talking about this. Thank-you.

Thanks nikkialma - you are truely a wonderful woman and mother. I was so touched to hear your story - such tragedy with your DD, but such triumph with the birth of your DS.

Your story has been very valuable to so many.

I have had 3 c/s and have been bullied by some who are very rude about c/s whether it be emergency or scheduled........You have helped me feel more powerful in my choices. :hug: Many thanks, and my very best to you and your special family.

Hi I hope you can make up your mind as weather to have a c-section or vbac, just be sure as you have to live with that choice. I have always had so many "what if's". Even three years on I still feel so robbed of my DD especially as they made it sound so simple, that if things start to go wrong we will just do a c-section. I do have 2 very wonderful boys but there is this huge chunk of my heart that has been taken and you can never replace!! Thankyou so much for looking at my thread, it means that our dear Lilli can help others.
Nikki

Nikki, I cannot imagine the heartache and possibly guilt (at your decision) you must have felt and probably are still feeling. It was not your fault. In hindsight, you would have chosen another path, but who knows what would have happened then.
I am so glad that you managed to go on and have your second DS. It sounds like it was a very traumatic delivery, too. But one with a happy ending, fortunately.
Please do not feel bad for sharing this story. As others have said, we need to know about all possibilities and understand what they mean to make an informed decision on what path to choose.
I for one would love to read your full birth story.
It is a very brave thing you did, putting your story out there and opening yourself up to "criticism" for your choices. But BB is a very supportive community and we really appreciate your honesty. I'm gonna give you some rep points/comment for being so open and honest.

I do have a few more questions for you, if you don't mind:
How far along where you when labour started?
Did you go into labour spontaneously? Or did they help you along?

By the way, I love the name Lilli. If I ever have another girl, I will name her Lilliana.

Sasa

Nikki, thank you for sharing your story of loss, and I offer my condolences over the loss of your little on.

I think that if this story highlights anything, it highlights the faith we put in the people who look after us during birth, and the terrible consequences we face if that faith is misplaced. While reading your birth story, one thing jumped out at me:

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and due to the fact that I had had an epidural as well I was unaware of the initial pain.

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I'm so sorry to hear that your birth was managed in this way. My DW, and all of the other midwives I have spoken too, were very surprised that any woman having a VBAC was offered an epidural, for exactly the reason you describe - that often the earliest sign of a uterine rupture is pain. Standard procedure for a VBAC in hospital consists of continuous monitoring, no induction, and no epidural, to reduce the strain on the uterus and detect any complications early.

I think that all women reading this thread should keep this in mind; preparing for a VBAC should involve plenty of self-education and having a caregiver whose level of experience you know and trust. For that reason I would recommend having a doula or an independent midwife that you trust with you for a VBAC.

Hi, thanks for your reply. I do have my stroy in full version that I wrote for SANDS and it was also in Mother & Baby magazine a couple of years ago. I would happily let everyone read but I am not sure how to do that. Lilli was born on her due date, and I went into labour spontaniously. You are right about not having an epidural, obviously it was not the hospitals policy and we do so much put full faith in the medical staff. I am not a doctor or nurse, therefore I felt they know what they are doing.
If you know how I can put my story on here I will happily do so. Thanks nikki

Hi,

Firstly I am so sorry for loss.

Secondly thankyou for posting this story. I am due with my first shortly and you have made me think about a few things.

A few years ago I had an operation to remove a fibroid. Same kind of operation as a caesar same cut etc. The specialist had told me if I was to get pregnant I would need to let the OB know of this.

So I have, and they have the surgeons notes etc. One OB has said a VB is fine on the condition I am monitored the whole time.

A second OB (a more senior one) has said she is happy for me to try a VB but there is a risk that the uterus will rupture where the muscles were cut, and they will only have minutes to perform a CS. Having said that, they are still encouraging me to have a VB and now I am not sure what to do.

I am not hung up with a preference one way or the other just so long as the baby and I guess myself are okay.

I too would like to read your full story..thank you once again for sharing what must have been such a painful experience.

If you still have your story on your computer, you coud copy and paste it into a new thread in the birth stories section. Then you could provide a link to it here.
You say you have it written out for SANDS. Does that mean, it is online? If so, you could just provide us with a link.
Lots of love, Sasa

Hi I have added a new thread in the birth stories under.
Lilli Amba Our Vbac Angel.
I wanted to add her picture but I'm not sure what I am supposed to do with the http url?
Thanks for reading.
nikki

Nikki,

Click the "edit" button at the bottom of the post. Add at the bottom a sentence like "Her photo is here." Open the photo webpage in another tab or window and copy the url using the right mouth button. Back to the edit window, highlight the word "here" in your new sentence and click on the add url symbol in the post's toolbar - it's the one with the planet and the shades not shades, but looks like them :) - it says "Insert Link" if you hover over it..) A little url box will appear. Delete the hppt//: bit and then using the right mouse button again "paste" the photo's url in there. Click ok. Click Save. Your post will reappear in the thread and the pic should now be linked.

HTH

Bx

Thanks so much for your story, it is important to hear about the other side and what can go wrong!!!Mainly it's stats you hear about and people tend to think that they won't be the one. It is an extremely tough decision to make VBAC or C-section, when as a woman I tend to feel a bit of a failure if I can't deliver naturally, but as my OB wife said (also a midwife) people tend to forget that naturallly woman died and babies died in childbirth and still do!!!!
I would love to attempt VBAC after 2 C-sections and one natural delivery, but am finding myslef with reservations after reading your story as OB wife said to me generally women don't get pregnant to birth their baby, they get pregnant because they want a baby. I have to agree I would never forgive myslef if I left hospital with out my baby, a damaged baby or myself damaged when it could have been avoided, I could leave hospital without beating myslef up over a C-section.
Thanks again for your story, I have around 8 weeks of thinking left and will be doing lots of it.

Just a little footnote, my OB would prefer I have a CS but if everything looks good beforehand and with full monitering, no induction or epidural and a labour that that's less than 8 hours is prepared to let me try. I find it a bit alarming that a lot of girls have talked about being induced after already having had a c-section and being allowed to labour for long periods of time. How does that happen????

NIkki - I am so very sorry for your loss of your beautiful little princess. I am also so thankful to you for telling us on BB about your story. You may not know it but you are helping many women in this high risk category make a decision on how to birth their baby. I have had 2 c/s's already and will be having my 3rd come October. My first c/s was an emergency one after having to Natural births, yet after pushing for several hours from 4cm dialated and only making it to 8cm only to start closing, as well as my DD's heart fluctuating really high one minue to really low the next, having 2 stress tests done indicating baby was stressed, I was then rushed for the c/s. Even then they could not tell me for sure if my DD would be ok. Thankfully she was. As my labours are long anyway, have not had a short one yet, my next DD who was born 13mths to the day after DD1 the next c/s was done. I was so nervous of going thru labour after having my 1st c/s, and did not want to put another child thru what my DD1 went thru. Now I am expecting another DD, I have been thinking of seeing if the DR's would let me go into labour myself before having a c/s booked (still have the c/s tho), but have also been in the mind frame of I am not sure on how my baby girl would cope as I do not really know how healthy she really is, as they have had concerns about her thru out this pgcy, which was making me undecided about going into labour myself. So as the most important thing to me and always will be to me and always has been to me is the health of my baby when she is born etc, I feel as tho you have helped me in my decision about going into labour on my own. I am going to let them book my c/s as I did with DD2 and if it happens that I go into labour earlier as I did with DD2, they will just do the emergency c/s as they did with DD2.
Again I am so sorry for all you have been thru, and also so very glad you have your DS's. I truly wish nothing but the best for you and your family, you have been thru so much.
As for what your DH had said to you on waking from your c/s, that is a fear of mine. I am so sorry you ever had to hear those words. ( I dont find it morbid at all)
Thankyou once again for your story, I really appreciate it. :hug:

Hi, Thanks for your reply I am so pleased that reading about what happened to us has helped you think about your dessicion. It can be so hard to decide what to do, I know that the one thing you just would not want todo is walk out of that hospital with empty arms!!!
Once again take care and do not worry about deciding what to do you have obviously been looking into vbac. I guess our problem was that we trusted what the doctors told us.
Thanks again
Nikki

Nikki - thank you for your story. I have just come across it and read the thread and appreciate what you have posted here. I am in the position of deciding whether to have another c-s or try for a natural birth. I just needed someone to tell me how things can go bad with a VBAC birth so that my DH & I can make an informed decision. Thankyou very much. I am so sorry for your loss and don't know that I would have been as brave as you honey to go back again and have another but I'm so glad that you did for your sake. Thank you again.