crying crying cryinngggg

DD is 7 weeks old and barely sleeps at all during the day. Sometimes she will for a couple of hours, and other times (like today) she will not sleep at all. She fights her tireness like crazy - we can get her to sleep and a minute later she is wide awake. We have been told its because "she wants to be around us" - so we have accepted it.
At night once we get her to sleep, she is great and will usually only wake 2 or 3 times (after 9pm or so) for feeding, and after feeding at night will go straight back to sleep no problem.

The problem is that come night time we will try and settle her in the cot and 9 times out of 10 she will create a huge scene the moment we walk out of the room.
We wait 5 minutes and DP will go and cuddle her and she will go quiet. AS soon as she's put back down she will start up again. So we wait 7 minutes, then DP will again go give her a cuddle. DD cries and we wait 10 minutes.
After the 10 minute scream she gets a cuddle and will sometimes goto sleep.. other times, like last night, she wont, and we had 3 10 minute screams before she decided to goto sleep.
I'm not sure this is an issue or not?.. or is it normal? DP seems to feel as though we are "neglecting" her by letting her cry. I see it as a way of tiring her out to make her goto sleep. The episodes to date have probably not gone more than 30 - 40 mins, and i have heard of babies taking alot longer than that to get to sleep, but i do sometimes wonder if what we are doing is the wrong thing? Today she has not stopped crying. Its just been constant and we cant stop it. DP is seriously wired out and depressed and i feel much much much worse (that i wont write on here).

I just wanted to know if anyone has any better suggestions we could possibly try to get DD into a routine or to sleep a bit easier - without getting herself so worked up? (she really lets it fly!!!)

Thanks

it sounds like your dd just wants to be with you, she's so young and she just needs to be with you, which is perfectly normal. have you guys tried putting her in a sling like a 'hug a bub' at all during the day?:hug:

Hey there :) First of all big hugs to you. My son is nearly 12 weeks and those first couple of weeks were shocking!!!
The best advice I received around this time was just cuddle them. If that makes them stop and allow you to get some peace and quiet just then do it. I was so stressed out cos my bub would sleep all day and then be up all night. I was worried that too much cuddling and rocking to sleep would cause a rod for my back and make him need those things to get to sleep. The Maternal and Child Health Nurse told me that at this age their brains are not actually able to learn habits (apparently that doesn't kick in till about 3 months). I was so relieved when I heard this that I happily cuddled him to sleep and even had him in the bed with us a few times. He now generally settles quite easily and is not needing the cuddles etc to settle.
I really hope this helps you and DP, I know it worked for us :)

Yes, we have a hug a bub and a rocker, which we use all the time during the day.
There must come a point where she "needs" to sleep, but she will just not goto sleep without the torment.
This is seriously ridiculous, today she has cried constantly. if she is put down she cries and if we hold her she cries as well. We just cant stop it and now we both feel like $hit parents coz we cant please her.

:comfort: oh I'm so sorry. It is so hard when they cry for "no reason"
Do you think she could have wind? Have you tried any wind drops or a bit of gripe water? What about trying a bath? Or maybe a massage? Have you tried swaddling/wrapping?
Just throwing you some ideas sorry if it's not helpful.

ben- did she cry all day today even when you were holding her/ carrying her around? is she feeding ok?

Oh Ben hun, she is only 7 weeks old. The first 3-4 months are the hardest they really are. There is waaay too much pressure for us all to be 'up and at it' with a perfect sleeping angel all too soon.

She needs you, its not a want and she isn't trying to manipulate you. A good alternative is a hug a bub or something similar so baby can be close to you and you can still have your arms. She needs to be close to her mummy or daddy, its a big big world when you are a newborn. Letting her cry wont help anyone, it really wont.

You need to be able to see her tired signs which will usually be about an hour after she wakes - once they get overtired, the wakefulness and irritability cycle starts. Get her wrapped when she starts making jerky movements, yawns etc.

Have you got parents nearly that can come and hold her for awhile whilst you or mum have a shower etc??

If all else fails call the maternal child helpline - they were a godsend to me in the turbulent few months. I dont have the number now, it used to be stuck to my old fridge.

hang in there, most babies are like this xoxoxo

yes pretty much gracie crying all day... she stops every now and then but for the most part shes grumpy as hell and crying all day.

Feeding just like normal i'd say.

Only thing i can think of is that usually she does a BIGGG poo every day... she has not had a big one for 2 days now, only a tiny lil one yesterday and thats it.. Dont know if this could be causing discomfort?

I rocked, I sang I walked her in the pram, I patted and shushed. In the end I took her to bed and that worked for both of us.
She could be going through a big gorwth spurt and just generally be out of sorts.
Little bubs can't self settle and can't be 'taught' to do so at such a young age (some lovley babies are just born self settlers though - not mine). She's getting worked up because she thinks you're leaving her alone and that's scary when you only know mum and dad.
Have you got someone else who can take her for a walk while you chill for a little while? or have a sleep?
Take her out in the pram, the screaming isn't so bad out in the open.
I used to wonder why me screamer wasn't doibg what I thought she should. Then I thought - hey she's only little for such a short time, I'm not going to spend it with her on her own screaming. It's such a short time. I know it feels like you're spending every second of the day with her, but very soon it won't be like that. Enjoy those snuggly moments and let her drift off with you.
You won't creat a rod for your back. I promise.
You are doing everything you think is right - and that's what good mums and dads do. Go with your instinct.
:hug:

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She needs you, its not a want and she isn't trying to manipulate you.

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We know this... this isnt the issue.. we arent all hating on her coz shes out to get us.

Ok if she's boob fed, the poo shouldn't be a problem.

Lulus best tips for the overtired cherub.

*lights down low, telly off/down
*rug her up in the pram and hit the road
*she may settle in the pram inside (I learnt to sleep on the couch whilst jiggling the pram with my foot)
*warm bath, lights down low. Maybe with mum
*into bed with you
*try not patting, just holding her - my kids got too worked up with patting/rocking
*walk up and down the dark hallway singing
*call the maternal helpline

You can always try the car but then you have to get them outta the seat again..

I second Lulu's suggestions. My first daughter used to scream from 6-8 hours a day. I couldn't understand. She had severe reflux...

My suggestion is to take her to a GP as well. Make sure there isn't something going on like reflux. Or see a lactation consultant if you are breastfeeding.

The reason everyone is suggesting cuddling her and not putting her down & leaving her is that 7 weeks is just a bit too young. Most people who suggest that form of settling would say to start around 6 months. Their bodies generate a hormone called cortisol in extreme levels during those episodes and their bodies often have a hard time setting up for life when that happens. So the new research suggests not doing that for the first 6 months.

Where do you live? You could get a night doula in to help overnight to help you with settling.

So my suggestions:

1. :hug: its hard
2. try Lulu's
3. night doula for help
4. Take a class in infant massage & do it when she is calm in the evening before bedtime.
4. When it gets too much & the crying is hurting you mentally, pop her in a pram and go for a walk. Get outside & away from the constant noise & emotions. It will relax you & in turn help you to deal with it better.
5. Check out information about sleep signals & try to get bubs to sleep before she gets too tired. Its 100 times more difficult when the bubs is too tired.

Tired signs to look for: rubbing eyes, yawning, jerky movements in arms & legs, squawking at a different level.

Hey every one thanks for your replies
We have thought of reflux but when we took her to the GP at 4w old because of her constant crying he said it ws too early for her to have reflux..i dunno?? Might make another trip see what he says (this ones a diff one).
I feel really bad now for leaving her cry :( its not that we are tired of cuddling her and trying to settle her, but for me after trying all day, i just need a break to take a breather..and so does Ben..he does really well..id cuddle her all day every day if i could handle it, but sadly its starting to get to me mentally :(
We have done the whole putting her down to sleep when she shows tired signs, but she cries as soon as her head hits the mattress, and we have tried her in the HAB, it works, for short periods of time, then she will wriggle around, want a feed, so i take her out to feed her but then i have to re do the HAB and it gets too much doing that fifty times a day :( so i kinda give up with the HAB.
The rocker is okay, short periods of time though. She will fall asleep, and like DP said, she wakes up a few seconds later. She only seems to have a good solid sleep in her cot, once she is asleep in her cot that is.
Its just funny, coz we had a pretty good thing going with her for about a week, she would sleep during the day, and sleep during the night (although it still took a little time to get her to sleep at night) and she would be a happy chatty baby.
And she is still happy, in the mornings once she has had lots of sleep, she smiles and laughs, but then come lunch time, she is a monster and just cries and wont sleep, and if she does its for 5 mins max..
Sorry, im just rambling i guess, i just need to get it out.
P.S: some one asked if we were using wind drops, we used infacol, that did nothing, we use infants friend and that seems to help quite a bit, or it seemed to, i dont know whats happening now.

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Their bodies generate a hormone called cortisol in extreme levels during those episodes and their bodies often have a hard time setting up for life when that happens. So the new research suggests not doing that for the first 6 months.

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Either way she was going to be crying..but what exactly does this hormone do (if you know??)

Another thing to try is an osteo or chiro who specialises in babies, just to make sure there is no underlying problem. I found an osteo really helped with DD1, she had reflux and issues turning her head. Sometimes the birth can get parts of their little body out of alignment. I recently read about one bub who had a misaligned coccyx that was causing their crying episodes, a chiro found the problem and treated it successfully.

Chiro!! Yess we have been considering this, and i had completely forgotten, thanks for reminding me!!

Hi Meg. I just got really confused but I see it was your DP posting the other messages :doh:
If you can get your hands on a baby bjorn carrier I can recommend that. I don't really know what a hab is like but it sounds fiddly? The Bjorn is really easy (IMO!) and if she does have reflux having her upright should help. Also (if it is reflux) try putting her mattress on a bit of a slant, that has been helpful for us.
As Astrid suggested give the chiro a go too. A friend of mines bub bad a dislocated (or something like that) shoulder and was very unsettled all the time, chiro fixed it and they had no more problems.
Also do you have some family close by who could come and give you a break? I know how hard it is to care for a new bub 24/7 and it's ok to say you aren't coping, and you need a break. You need your sanity and sleep deprivation plus crying bub will send anyone balmy.
The MCHN said that they shouldn't be born until they are 3 months old!! Those first 2 months esp are extremely difficult. It will get better. :comfort:

Hi Ben and MummyMeg and Ben01!

Firstly, you guys are doing an amazing job. reading what you guys are going through is bringing back ALL the memories of our DD! terrible during the day and fought like crazy for the night sleep (but slept well during the night...).

things we did were many. rocking in the pram, drives, hallway pacing...all had success and failure to varying degrees. and the big letdown is that it took its toll on both my sanity and DH's. and i think to an extent it was the same for DD.
We soon found that when she was really tired, she just didnt want to be held, so we had to put her in the cot. she would fight it and we would be in there every 3-4 minutes. placing a hand on her and using a shushing sound, until she calmed down. in the end sleep would come. the worst would be an hour (any longer and i recommend getting them up and trying a bath or massage...), and the best would be straightaway.
the fact that she is managing to sleep in 40 minutes is pretty normal at this stage. dont beat yourselves up about it! she is a gorgeous little girl and she WILL eventually be able to sleep on her own. our girl was (from what i have read) EXACTLY the same he he he, cheeky little buggers! and despite all the crying she did in those first 12 weeks she is the happiest, most confident (and of course most gorgeous he he he).
putting her down when you guys are tired and need to rest (or eat dinner) and save your sanity is necessary. bubs need healthy and happy parents.

i recommend getting some kind of a routine happening to keep day and night separate. what we did was to keep the stress levels of day sleeps to a minimum (if she slept, great, if she didnt, she would later!). if no day sleep is happening go for a drive - even the 10 minute nap in the car can make all the difference to their mood). or go to a shopping centre and have her sleep in the pram. come night time, i recommend giving her sleep signals (bath or massage or both!), then (yes, against all the books!) i would feed her to sleep in the dark. sometimes getting the wrap almost done up around her so when i lay her down in the cot i had to only do minimal jiggling. i would start this bedtime routine around 6-7pm. we still do this routinge 9 months on and it works a charm!
the best bit of mach nurse advice i got was this:" whatever you do, be persistent and consistent!" if you go in with a firm plan, things tend to go better as you are more mentally and physically prepared!

oops this has raged out of control. i hope that it may help a wee bit...

yours in solidarity!

P.S. the 7-8 week mark is particularly trying! it appears they hit a crying peak, but it does get better, by the 12 week mark, there is a pattern that you can all start to make out and it soon flows from there... :)

Lol catherine, yeah he jumped off and i jumped on and i replied for him.
Im thinking there is a chance she might have reflux, i have noticed she is a lot more settled when she is held upright but she still gets unsettled then too, but not as much.
I love the HAB, wouldnt want another sling/carrier unless absolutely necessary (plus they dont all come cheap lol)
We have my parents, but they both work full time, plus i dont really want to pass Isabell onto my mum, i know i have asked her for help and all she replies with is "Its been a very long time since i had babies i wouldnt know what to do." so its kinda like she is in it for all the good times and cant handle the tough times..i dunno. She also has my 15yo mentally disabled sister to look after when she isnt at work, my dad works away a lot of the time, so its also kinda complicated for her to just drop those things to come help. *sigh*

Cassius2 Sorry i posted when you posted lol :)
Thanks heaps for your reply!! I feel so much better (and so does DP) I must admit isabell loves going for drives in the car, im unsure if she actually sleeps while in the car, coz most times ill ge tout and see her and she will be wide eyed and seeming to be quite happy, looking all cute in her car seat. But it costs lots to go for drives all the time, so i try and think of excuses to go for a drive all the time lol.
I must admit, i am a bit nervous to take isabell out to a shopping centre, i dont know if this is a normal feeling at all??

I love her so much, she is so beautiful and she is my everything (as is my DP) and i just hurt so much when she is crying so much and no matter what i try it doesnt seem to be good enough, its so painful and it tortures me. Id do anything for her.

I know how you feel. DD2 was kinda the oppisite to your little one. She had Colic. She would start between 5 & 7 at night & scream til 3am. Every night.
By the time she finally went to sleep I was crying out of frustration! I have to admit that I looked at our concrete walls in a whole new light. - I would never hurt one of my kids, but when you are pushed that far, stupid things go through your mind.
I then had DD1 getting up at 7am. I was getting 4 hours sleep a night. For 10 weeks.
She slept great once she was asleep. Wouldn't wake till 2 in the afternoon. I think about twice for feeds & thats it.
So she did sleep through the day, but I had a mischevious 3 year old as well, so I couldn't.
Being the time of night she did it, I couldn't go for walks & all that. All I could do was stress & feel like I wasn't good enough. PND hit pretty bad with her & I was put on anti depressants.
You can try what everyone else suggested. I spent hours walking back & forth in my lounge room holding her, or using a sling, trying to get her to take a dummy. I had no help too.
The best thing I can say is be patient. I know it's hard, but it does get better. DH used to lay with her on his chest coz they like the sound of the heart beat & it helped a bit. you could try it.
Just remember that you are doing the best you can. You are a great mum. You are just having a hard time at the moment.
Offer constant breast feeds if it helps. Don't worry about doing the wrong thing by always feeding or constantly holding, or even walking away for 10 minutes to take a breath. No more than 10 minutes though. Try leaving the tv on, vaccuming, putting music on. All these can help.
Babies don't like quiet.

Anyways, I hope at least something in here helps. It will get better, I promise.

ahhh :hug: you have tried so much. I'm sorry if my post seemed like I was condeming you, far from it.

Matilda did this starting from around 4 weeks, she would scream. It didn't matter if I was holding her or not, and I felt so guilty when I put her down and walked away. So even though I posted about cortisol and all of that, sometimes, not a regular thing... its the best thing for her.

I guess with all you have done the best thing may be to take her to someone for help. With Matilda, I went the general method. I went to GP's, Paediatricians, sleep school and MCHN's. With Jovie, I went the alternative route, I went to a lactation consultant first because her stuff affected her feeding. Then I took her to a chiro and then an acupuncturist. We got the most and best relief from acupuncture out of everything we did, for either child. And we found out at the same time that Jovie reacted to cows milk products and soy. So I changed my diet and Jovie got better without anything else. A few months later Matilda was diagnosed with a severe milk allergy.

A few people who have been known to be help with reflux:

osteopaths
chiropractors
acupuncturist
lactation consultants

I would start one at a time. Concentrate on one thing and in a week if you haven't found relief, move on. Sometimes it helps to have GP's working with alternative therapies to get the best relief.

Hi MummyMeg!

LOL at the 'all cute in the backseat'!! so true! at least she is calm though!

yeah, i think the shopping centre fear is there for all of us first timers! but i bit the bullet pretty early on in the process as it is a place FULL of desperately overtired mums and bubs, you see us everywhere pushing bubs around while they sleep peacefully away in the prams...so there is some solidarity...also, the parent rooms are a good place to go when bubs is screaming and needs a feed as invariably there are other mums with bubs doing the exact same thing. i found that i haunted shopping centres, cafes (have a coffee - decaf if necessary! while bubs is feeding or sleeping), or if worse comes to worse go for a walk around the neighbourhood...DH and I found that we got to know our area SO MUCH better after having DD! LOL!!

i also recommend joining a parents group (if you havent already). this was my saving grace as it meant that despite having horrible nights and days i could go somewhere and vent and compare notes with other mums. it was also GREAT to see other mums going through the same things as me! made me realise that DD wasnt crying because i was doing the wrong thing, she was crying, because that's just what they do! now 9 months down the track we are great friends and meet up a couple of times a week, for much needed coffees...

Also, remember, if things get really tough on the sleep front there is always the sleep school option. i recommend giving tresillian or QE2 a call and trying to book in. there is generally a waiting list, so put your name down and if in the 2 months things sort out, great, otherwise hang in there and go along. everyone of the mums in my group that have gone have found it really helps. Also there are day sleep schools that you can go to, generally run through the MACH centres. talk to your nurse or on the helpline. i went to the day one and it changed my life! (i went when DD was 6 weeks). check it all out online, there is alot out there. also, if you are interested in more attachent style, there are some great people who can come to you and give you some ideas on what to do. for this i recommend starting out with Pinky McKay (she has her own website...google her name...sorry not sure if i can mention it on here...).

Hi Meg,

Noticed that someone reccommended Chiro. I just wanted to second that! My DS was a "screamer" and nothing could stop him. I started to take him to a Chiro at about 6wks and it definately made a huge improvement to his overall wellbeing. I know it can sound extreme sending a baby to a chiro but it is all very very gentle and DS didn't even flinch throughout it. I'm not sure whereabouts you are but I saw Dr Adams from the Adams Family Practice on Hutton Street Osborne Park.

Good luck and sending you plenty of sleep vibes!

Meg and Ben,
I notice you are in Perth? you can call Ngala and they are a big big help. We had serious isssues with Caden at 6 weeks and I phoned them constantly. In the end we took him there for a day stay and it was the best thing we ever did. He was 11 weeks by then and it made the world of difference. They are so gentle and serene, and really know their stuff. Plus you can see a social worker and get it all out.

I know how hard it can be, it was perhaps the hardest thing I have done in my life. It breaks your heart over and over again and you are so tired and desperate.

You might wonder, as I did, what they can do to help, but they listen to the bub, look at their body language and translate it for you. They teach you the difference in cries, and with all their experience they will be able to tell if it is a pain cry or other.

Going to your GP is great too, but they are doctors and are quick to prescribe medicine - ours did, Caden was diagnosed with reflux, but the tablets didn't work so I took him off them. Funny, after Ngala, his "reflux" disappeared. Doctors are not privvy to those terrible moments when the baby is screaming, so a more lengthy visit with a child specialist is better.

I also recommend a paediatric chiro as someone else said. There is one near Fremantle on Canning Highway that I use for Caden. That also seems to help him sleep better during the day. PM me if you want the name.

Lastly, it DOES get better. By 12 weeks things will have improved so much. You are doing a FANTASTIC job as parents, otherwise you wouldn't have tried everything and anything to help this poor little soul. I am in Fremantle also, so again, PM me if you need someone to chat to or give you some moral support.

*hugs*

Meg - you poor thing! I don't know if anyone has suggested this, but are you wrapping her for sleeps? I didn't wrap DS once we got home from hospital and couldn't get him to sleep, but once I realised there was a reason why they made me do it at hospital :lol: I started again and he slept so much better. Firstly he couldn't fling his arms around and hit himself in the head and also there was the comfort thing of being all snuggly and warm in his wrap.
My DS has reflux and our chiro worked well - but we did also use medication. You can try elevating your cot matress a bit if she prefers to be more upright - use a pillow or rolled up towel.

Thanks so much every one,
I have booked her in to see a chiro, so hopefully things will improve at least a little bit.
We also spoke to the child nurse (we had appt yesterday) and she said Isabell is fine (physical wise lol) and that we are doing a great job. She is being loved and not neglected and hurt, and thats the best we can do for her :) she also said there is no wrongs and rights (which i knew any way) as long as yeah she is being loved and treated right.
I think i might also get her checked out for reflux or silent reflux just incase :)

You have all been a wonderful help!!

I'm so glad you have booked her into a chiro. I took our youngest DS to our paediatric chiro when he had reflux and the reflux was gone a few days after the visit! I also took my eldest DS when he was 10 weeks old because he was so unsettled all the time, it turns out his right shoulder had been dislocated from birth and nobody had picked up on it. He was a new baby after he was fixed up.

How long do you keep your DD up for during the day before giving her a nap? Babies of your bubs age can usually only handle between 45 - 60 minutes of wake time (this includes feeding time) before needing a nap. Once they get over-tired they become hysterical and extremely difficult to settle. I was keeping my DS2 up for too long when he was younger and when I cut his wake time back he settled and slept heaps better.

Also, what settling techniques do you use when you put her in the cot? I had a MCHN show me some settling methods for DS2 which worked wonders. I gave him a dummy and wrapped him, then put him on his side in the cot and patted his back rhythmically and made a "shhh" sound quite loudly in his ear. He would soon go quiet and then eventually go to sleep.

If all else fails, I highly recommend trying an Amby baby hammock!

We have done the chiro from birth too. She's now 2 and a ahalf and we were there today!!

I just wanted to say that it sounds similar to my DD's and I know now that they were both overtired. After 9 weeks, we would put DD in the cot and go in every minute until she settled. She was never alone for more than that, but what came of it was that she knew her cot was for sleep and ever since then (DD2) cot is for bed and I don't get her up once she's in. I even used to pat her in the cot for an hour or two at a time, rather than get her up, as i knew she was tired and I knew she would sleep. It also meant sanity for me, as I could put her down and knew that even if it took a bit of patting, she was going to sleep and I'd get "my time" to revive myself!!!
Good luck xoxo
PS I have to say though, that at 7 weeks, neither of mine slept AT ALL. Not even during the night for more than a hour or two!

I found overtiredness a big issue at that age (and still do). My DD cried and was unsettled for hours and hours day and night and it is very debilitating being that exhausted and at your wits end. Like others have said, I would go with trying to get her to sleep ANWAY after 45 mins of being awake (including feeds, changing etc). This includes being rocked, fed, walked to sleep- whatever it takes. Once the overtiredness cycle starts it is very difficult to get out of and bubs finds it impossible to get to sleep. Even if you have to hold baby for an hour or two during the day to get her to sleep it beats days of crying..

Did you check out the ACA clip Kelly posted? Good stuff....

I think she just needs you around she is only 7 weeks old,she needs to know she is safe and its ok.

Sounds like my DS...he was a shocker and rarely slept...day or night... (He still has issues now unfortunately) I was lucky if DS would sleep for 20 minutes during the day and he woke maybe 6 times a night for a feed still (every 2 hours) for months. I know that doesn't make you feel any better but eventually it does get better...it may take a while though.

Personally I don't agree with leaving a tiny baby crying for too long, and even now we do 2, 4, 6 and sometimes 8 minute intervals for our DS (he's 21 months)...but I understand that everyone does what they feel is best and what they can cope with. :)

The only suggestion I have is that maybe she has bad wind and/or reflux problems (I'm a 'pro' dealing with those unfortunately)...with DS it certainly caused problems with his sleep and he just wanted to be held upright all the time.

Anyway, good luck and I hope it improves soon for you. :)

HI,

Baby's crying cuts through you like a knife, doesn't it? It's meant to, but that doesn't make it any easier. I was wondering, is your little one breastfed or bottlefed? How many feeds would she have in 24hrs? Is she gaining weight? At this age, she will rely on you heavily to help her settle and sleep. At this age, she is not able to "learn" by being left to cry. A little crying can help some babies "wind down" (that grizzly sort of cry) but other times they just get really wound up, and that makes getting to sleep more difficult. The interesting thing about babies is, the more sleep they get, the more sleep they seem to want. If a baby has been up for about an hour and a half then they will be tired and want to go to sleep. Has anyone explained how to read you baby's "tired signs"? Often, when they become tired they will start crying or whinging, turn away from you when they have been playing and "crack it" or shut off, or rub at their eyes and suck their fists. So, you might like to just make a note of what the time will be an hour and a half after she wakes up. Then, note what she is doing around that time. It takes practice! For the first few days you might want to feed her, rock her, cuddle her or put her in the sling to go to sleep - so she feels that going to sleep is a nice feeling, not a scary feeling. When she is "really" a sleep (pick up their arm and let it drop and if they don't stir they might be asleep enough to put down.) If you "miss the cues" ie dad comes home, and picks up baby and distracts her, she will "wake up" and won't seem tired, but then may be harder to put to sleep later. Kind of like when we are all snuggled down in bed, having cleaned our teeth, gone to the toilet etc and then the phone rings, or something happens and then you can't go to sleep for hours. Often when the daytime sleeps are sorted out a bit, then the nightime sorts itself out. People tend to want to start with the night-time, because that causes so much grief - but you are all tired! And it's hard to stick to a plan. You might want to show your DP this post so that you two are on the same page. Also, if you have been going out a lot, you might want to spend a few days on this, maybe when your dp is home from work so that you have support, and some-one else to hold a sleeping baby. This stage doesn't last forever, it will pass!
Regards
Barb