edited sorry
Printable View
edited sorry
Oh hun sounds like you need a break!
Have you anyone around who could give you an afternoon away from the kids?
especially when you are going through a break up, you just need some time alone, :hug:.
Awww Beatrix, I can only imagine how hard it is, it's hard enough for me with only two and a husband around (well between 6pm and 5am anyway).
Do you have anyone that can mind them for a while? If not, would you consider occasional care or something similar? Even if it were only for a few hours? I really do think you're going to need some time away from the kids to regroup and process your breakup.
You poor thing...I wish I had some better advice. But keep posting, somehow it does help!
Aww. Its hard. Well I can only imagine its hard. I wont pretend that I really know what it must be like. But I can relate to the stress of the kids & then can imagine what it would be like on top of the break up.
Can you afford an extra day of the ocassional care that the older 2 go alnog too?
With MJ sleeping, she is probably picking up on how your feeling so is having a hard time with it too. My only suggestion there would be to speak with your GP or health Nurse about settling. I know this is third time round but maybe your missing some of her tired signs? Plus with the older 2 being so helpful when you trying to settle her MJ may be overtired & in turn not sleeping well.
I use to have to shut myself in the room with Isla to get her down because the boys just didn't get it. Often I would come out once shewas asleep to find a lovely mess of what ever they got up to while I couldn't be 3 places at once. But the baby was asleep at least so I let it slide.
Maybe you could use a sling for MJ? Do you have one? just strap on & carry on with your day & hope she sleeps while with you. May help with her upchuck as well...
I hope you get a break soon
Hun, get some occasional care for the other two. 2 days a week at least and the ex can pay for it.
thats what im doing...will come back later when i have more time ha ha haa ha
edited sorry
Hi. Have you tried a mothers group?? I know what it's like to have no friends close by. We moved an hour & a half away from friends, family & babysitters back in January.
I have my sister in law with her little girl, but the little one was over in NZ with her family for 3 months, so I was feeling really alone. Her & my brother were working same hours as DH - 5.30am til sometimes 7.30 - 8pm.
I had no adult conversation for sometimes weeks at a time except for DH. Better than nothing I guess. I kept getting told by my gp & ECHN to get to playgroup, but sat around depressed instead.
My neice came home about a month ago & SIL isn't working any more, so we see eachother nearly every day. The girls are starting pre-school together on Thursday & while we still haven't made it to play group we are still planning on going.
I'm feeling heaps better. Hopefully it'll help you. There would be a few people there that have been in your situation. Get in touch with your Early Chilldhood Health Nurse - I know you haven't been seeing one & she'll let you know when & where they are. Your gp should be able to give you the ECHN number. I think the council can too. & might be in the phone book as well, but I'm nopt sure where.
ECHN are a god send. get in touch with one soon.
edited sorry
I know. It's really hard, but you gotta think of you too. Don't worry, I'm telling you this, but won't do it myself!
MJ is only little & things are hard at this time anyway without 2 extra kids to deal with on your own.
I'm forgetting alot too. I just walked away from the sink with the hot tap runnung slowly - was gonna wash up - to go to the toilet. Finished on the toilet & heard DS crying, so I walked back past the sink picked him up & started feeding him. It wasn't til I heard water on the floor I remembered the tap was on!
Then there's doctors appointments & crap. If it's for the kids it gets done straight away, but for me....Sometimes I get there.
Just be careful of PND. Hopefully you'll be fine, but i've been through it & it's not fun.
edited sorry
Bl00dy hell - Nessa!
You get onto that lazy @r$ed ex of yours and make him take atleast the eldest 2 over night.
Even if he's not living with you babe
THEY ARE STILL HIS RESPONSIBILITY TOO
If he cant take them, ring his mother and get onto her.
YOU NEED A BREAK
you havent even had time yet to mourn the loss of your relationship.
Thinking of you
I was gonna say the same as Maz. Get the ex to take them for a night. Or go spend a night at a mates house with the kids. Preferably someone with kids, who you can talk to. That way your older ones will hopefully go off & play to give you a bit of time.
I don't really know what else to say, just hang in there. Remember that we are all here for you. It will get easier. It might take a while, but it will.
I hope you feel better soon.
:comfort: I'm so sorry. I'm a single mum. I left my partner after a 2 year relationship. He had been hiding how he truly felt for such a long time. He never loved me. I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn't love me.
I can't imagine how you feel. We are all here for you. :comfort:
Hun, if you havent cried for him yet i doubt he is worth crying over at all :hug:
when i left my ex dd was staying in his bed, so i didnt have the bed worries that you have, but he moved into a share house! which scared me no end.
eventually things will settle and you will feel "smoothed" out. It might take a month, it might take a year - but i am sure YOU AND THE GIRLS will be much better off in the long run.
Keep your strength up girl, but dont forget to let it all out if you need to.
there is light and happiness at the end of the tunnel, trust me xoxox
oh gosh I am so sorry to read of your situation.
I would love to be able to help you. I don't honestly know how your coping with three children, running the house and coping with the breakup of your marriage.
Is there anything I could do to help?
edited sorry
Beatrix,:
At the very least buy some multivitamins and make sure you take them ok?
back later...
Beatrix,:
I suggest that you get legal advice immediately!
Have you completed a financial settlement yet? If you have not and he takes out a loan, you could find out later that legally you are also responsible for any debt that is incurred until you are "recognised as financially seperated".
Scary I know!!
Legal aide gives free legal advice over the phone, and they should be able to point you in the right direction, including in the right direction regarding his obligations in relation to "suitable" accommodation for the children when they visit.
Good luck. I have been there and it has taken 4 years to get myself back on top of things, but you can do it and you will be stronger and wiser for the experience.
Oh Miss Beatrix - I'm so very sorry for what your going through. I've not been in your situation, but I just wanted to pass on my thoughts and prayers to you :hug::hug:
Hi. Just checking in to see how you are. What did the doc say??
Hope your feeling at least a bit better.
I'm not liking XP's sister much. What a cow.
Anyway. I really hope u are ok. Let me know.
edited sorry
Glad things are getting better. Even if you are all sick!
edited sorry
No thanks. I've already got them! Sorry :)
I just wanted to post one more thing (I totally forgot to post it before)
I dunno why, but your story has really made me take an interest. I'm so very proud to hear that you're doing those things - You're an inspiration to everyone who's been through this kind of experience - Massive hugs.
Just take care of yourself and get well soon :hug:
Beatrix.........
I so understand I had my ex leave me at 8 weeks old with my son. Plus i had an 7 and 5 year old. My patience was soo not there i was not coping very well at all. But i did manage. I didnt really have any family or any friend support. Im not close to family and only had one friend at the time who just worked worked worked.
To make my life easier baked beans was my best mate for kids great quick and very good for you so that made tea time quick. or tuna bolinase boil pasta and add pasta sauce and tin of tuna. As for keeping them occupied i would say pic a movie any movie but have it down low and keep out of my hair. As long as they were occupied i didnt care they were safe and busy and i could focus on bubs. Boy did i feel run down tho. The house started to go a massive mess but as long as it was just objects and NOT un higenic i was k.
I didnt have daycare or anything i couldn't afford that. But at least hey did go to school and kindy.
Keep your chin up! if you wanna chat Private message me ill be happy to chat with you. Also internet was my only outside company with adults.
:hug: