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Thread: Newly Single Mummy and ready to crrack

  1. #1

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    Unhappy Newly Single Mummy and ready to crrack

    edited sorry

    Last edited by Beatrix; April 9th, 2010 at 10:07 PM.

  2. #2

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    Oh hun sounds like you need a break!

    Have you anyone around who could give you an afternoon away from the kids?

    especially when you are going through a break up, you just need some time alone, .

  3. #3

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    Awww Beatrix, I can only imagine how hard it is, it's hard enough for me with only two and a husband around (well between 6pm and 5am anyway).

    Do you have anyone that can mind them for a while? If not, would you consider occasional care or something similar? Even if it were only for a few hours? I really do think you're going to need some time away from the kids to regroup and process your breakup.

    You poor thing...I wish I had some better advice. But keep posting, somehow it does help!

  4. #4

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    Aww. Its hard. Well I can only imagine its hard. I wont pretend that I really know what it must be like. But I can relate to the stress of the kids & then can imagine what it would be like on top of the break up.
    Can you afford an extra day of the ocassional care that the older 2 go alnog too?
    With MJ sleeping, she is probably picking up on how your feeling so is having a hard time with it too. My only suggestion there would be to speak with your GP or health Nurse about settling. I know this is third time round but maybe your missing some of her tired signs? Plus with the older 2 being so helpful when you trying to settle her MJ may be overtired & in turn not sleeping well.

    I use to have to shut myself in the room with Isla to get her down because the boys just didn't get it. Often I would come out once shewas asleep to find a lovely mess of what ever they got up to while I couldn't be 3 places at once. But the baby was asleep at least so I let it slide.
    Maybe you could use a sling for MJ? Do you have one? just strap on & carry on with your day & hope she sleeps while with you. May help with her upchuck as well...

    I hope you get a break soon

  5. #5

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    Hun, get some occasional care for the other two. 2 days a week at least and the ex can pay for it.
    thats what im doing...will come back later when i have more time ha ha haa ha

  6. #6

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    edited sorry
    Last edited by Beatrix; April 9th, 2010 at 10:03 PM.

  7. #7

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    Hi. Have you tried a mothers group?? I know what it's like to have no friends close by. We moved an hour & a half away from friends, family & babysitters back in January.
    I have my sister in law with her little girl, but the little one was over in NZ with her family for 3 months, so I was feeling really alone. Her & my brother were working same hours as DH - 5.30am til sometimes 7.30 - 8pm.
    I had no adult conversation for sometimes weeks at a time except for DH. Better than nothing I guess. I kept getting told by my gp & ECHN to get to playgroup, but sat around depressed instead.
    My neice came home about a month ago & SIL isn't working any more, so we see eachother nearly every day. The girls are starting pre-school together on Thursday & while we still haven't made it to play group we are still planning on going.
    I'm feeling heaps better. Hopefully it'll help you. There would be a few people there that have been in your situation. Get in touch with your Early Chilldhood Health Nurse - I know you haven't been seeing one & she'll let you know when & where they are. Your gp should be able to give you the ECHN number. I think the council can too. & might be in the phone book as well, but I'm nopt sure where.
    ECHN are a god send. get in touch with one soon.

  8. #8

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    edited sorry
    Last edited by Beatrix; April 9th, 2010 at 10:04 PM.

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    I know. It's really hard, but you gotta think of you too. Don't worry, I'm telling you this, but won't do it myself!
    MJ is only little & things are hard at this time anyway without 2 extra kids to deal with on your own.
    I'm forgetting alot too. I just walked away from the sink with the hot tap runnung slowly - was gonna wash up - to go to the toilet. Finished on the toilet & heard DS crying, so I walked back past the sink picked him up & started feeding him. It wasn't til I heard water on the floor I remembered the tap was on!
    Then there's doctors appointments & crap. If it's for the kids it gets done straight away, but for me....Sometimes I get there.

    Just be careful of PND. Hopefully you'll be fine, but i've been through it & it's not fun.

  10. #10

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    edited sorry
    Last edited by Beatrix; April 9th, 2010 at 10:05 PM.

  11. #11

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    Bl00dy hell - Nessa!

    You get onto that lazy @r$ed ex of yours and make him take atleast the eldest 2 over night.
    Even if he's not living with you babe

    THEY ARE STILL HIS RESPONSIBILITY TOO

    If he cant take them, ring his mother and get onto her.

    YOU NEED A BREAK

    you havent even had time yet to mourn the loss of your relationship.

    Thinking of you

  12. #12

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    I was gonna say the same as Maz. Get the ex to take them for a night. Or go spend a night at a mates house with the kids. Preferably someone with kids, who you can talk to. That way your older ones will hopefully go off & play to give you a bit of time.
    I don't really know what else to say, just hang in there. Remember that we are all here for you. It will get easier. It might take a while, but it will.
    I hope you feel better soon.

  13. #13
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    I'm so sorry. I'm a single mum. I left my partner after a 2 year relationship. He had been hiding how he truly felt for such a long time. He never loved me. I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn't love me.

    I can't imagine how you feel. We are all here for you.

  14. #14

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    Hun, if you havent cried for him yet i doubt he is worth crying over at all

    when i left my ex dd was staying in his bed, so i didnt have the bed worries that you have, but he moved into a share house! which scared me no end.

    eventually things will settle and you will feel "smoothed" out. It might take a month, it might take a year - but i am sure YOU AND THE GIRLS will be much better off in the long run.

    Keep your strength up girl, but dont forget to let it all out if you need to.

    there is light and happiness at the end of the tunnel, trust me xoxox

  15. #15

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    oh gosh I am so sorry to read of your situation.

    I would love to be able to help you. I don't honestly know how your coping with three children, running the house and coping with the breakup of your marriage.

    Is there anything I could do to help?

  16. #16

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    edited sorry
    Last edited by Beatrix; April 9th, 2010 at 10:07 PM.

  17. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Beatrix~ View Post
    He has informed me he has gone and taken out a 5k loan to pay all his bills so as soon as that come through he will give me the money to pay half the credit cards and the bills that are in and when the gas and elec come in he will pay half of them too.

    But still i worked out what he needed to pay including his recent court fine( haha dont have to pay for that anymore) he only has aroun 2300 in bills so god knows what he is going to do with the rest of the money.

    I am thinking on contacting legal advice as in to what i can expect from him to have for the girls when they are there. I dont think its to much to ask that they have a bed to sleep on

    Maz- your right i havent even really cried over this relationship, havent had time.
    Beatrix,

  18. #18

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    At the very least buy some multivitamins and make sure you take them ok?

    back later...

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