Should I assume the worst?? (Long - sorry!)

Ok, so DS goes to day care twice a week whilst I go to work. He's been going since November, and I'm told, always has a great day while there.

A while back we got a bit grumpy at the day care because some of the staff were arguing in front of the kids (and parents that were there dropping kids off) and they wouldn't give DS his weetbix - EVER - at 9.00 like he had at home, he would have to wait until lunchtime to have something to eat. On top of that, two girls from the nursery area (his area) both left and told me that it was a really bad managed centre (I got along with the girls really well obviously - still email one cos we became friends) and that they hated working there.

So we put DS's name down at another centre about 10 minutes drive from the one he currently goes to. That was ages ago and we haven't heard anything from the new centre.

So today, I went to pick DS up and he was sitting on the floor, and I didn't recognise the two carers there, so they must of been new, one of them pushed him with their foot and said look who's here. So DS looked up and walked over to me. I didn't appreciate the fact that they just used their FOOT to get my son's attention, but like, whatever, didn't bother me too much.

Then I went to the fridge and discovered that his sippy cup of milk, and sippy cup of water were both still FULL. So basically, to my knowledge, my son was NEVER given liquid at all today. I know they didn't give him the milk, cos they wouldn't of replaced it, but if they give him water, its always nearly empty, or is empty. So I would assume that if they did give him some water, he drank it all, and they filled it up again. (Which would be strange cos they usually leave it empty!!?)

So would you assume that they just didn't give him anything to drink at all today?? Or give them the benefit of the doubt??

I'm going to give another centre a call tomorrow to see if I can change DS cos I'm still not overly impressed with the centre, but very interested in everyone else's opinions..

Oh hun :hug: Iz doesn't go to CC so I don't know what usually happens but that sounds odd to me. For a start - using her FOOT to get his attention??? I'm a teacher and I would never do that to a student, completely disrespectful to Aricyn and to you babe.
Also, I would be questioning them about exactly what he had to drink, and why his milk and water was untouched, and if they did give him something, why wasn't the milk and water given to him????? Sounds very odd and I would definately look into it and also maybe look into other centres in the area. HtH from an inexperienced me.

I would say trust your doubts and just look into a few other centres to see if you get a better feeling about them. The foot sounds very... just like a shove it's not very caring or nurturing and i'd question the drinks too. My DS goes to fdc so it is slightly different but i get informed on what and how much he ate of what i provided and even the nappy changes. If you're not happy with your son being cared for in that way look for something that makes you happy.

Did he have a big drink when you gave him one? If so, assume the worst and lodge a complaint!

Well the milk was in the fridge so long that the top of it was a bit frozen, so I had to mush it up a bit, but yeah he drank most of the milk and about a third of the water in the car on the way home...

It sounds like they didn't offer it to him. :hug: I went through something similar with Nina's old daycare. I would be contacting other daycares around your area and trying to get him in.

Kick up a fuss mate. In a fair, reasonable, 'no-I'm-not-a-nutter-but-this-is-NOT-good-enough' kind of way. Ask questions and see what they have to say, give them a chance to explain things, but mention reporting them if you're not satisfied with answers they provide. It sounds like they might need a bit of a wake-up call.

It could have just been a bad day at the centre, bad communication, and chaos, but that kind of thing regularly isn't acceptable. Hope it's not as bad as you think, and they have a good and satisfying explanation. :hug:

Oh that doesn't sound good at all!! Like Tanstar I don't have any personal CC experiences but that doesn't mean I can't see something pretty wrong with that picture. As if it isn't hard enough for parents (especially mums!) to have their little ones in CC in the first place, to have any doubt at all that they are nutured, cared for & respected just as they should be is awful.

Poor little guy!! I agree with Nelle about making a fuss, it really is unacceptable & even if you get him into another centre the fuss you make now can certainly only benefit other kids in the centre's care. Give Aricyn a hug from me!! (& all the water he can drink lol)

Mel,

I would definately be questioning it. At our DC, the never refill a bottle, and I even got a call today cause DD was out of sorts. She is only there 2 days a week and they know her really well (so much so that they can tell me when something is wrong long before I notice it LOL).

You have to be comfortable leaving him wherever he goes, and with your 2nd one nearly here, you don't need the added stress..

Look, I am one of the most easy going people on the planet and I'd be the same as you and not really react if someone tried to get my baby's attention with her foot.

But like you too, it would gnaw away at me later.

And I just think it's rude and not a nice way to treat a baby. And the more I think about it, it's just not right and IT'S JUST NOT BLOODY ON.

The milk/water incident on top of that. Something's not right. I too would look at other options.

WOAH HONEY.....MAJOR warning signs here, totally unacceptable behaviour for the staff to treat you litle man in such a fashion, DEFINATELY see the co-ordinator and express your concerns, are they an accredited centre? I have been a long day care worker for nearly 13years and I know for a fact that I would at least be given a written warning for such behaviour in the work place.
Have you been in to see the other centre you put your name down at, again?...I would call back in now, let them see that you are really keen , are their other centres near by you could try?
I really hope so, big hugs to your little man and good luck, you are totally right to be feeling uneasy, not acceptable even for a really bad day at work!!!!

Hmm.. yeah.. I know... *sigh*... its such a hard job being a mother!!!!! You know that nobody takes care of them like you do, but if you don't work, they won't have a roof over their heads!!!!

I think I will ring the Director tomorrow and just suss out the situation (in my non-threatening way of course) and see if they were short staffed or whatever (not that that is an excuse anyway).

Then I'll ring Tadpoles and see if I can chase them up.

Then I'll ring the other Tadpoles near our home and see if they have any vacancies...

Gee, this really isn't what I feel like doing at the moment!! I hate to feel that someone is treating my boy badly... :(

Honestly I would have left already if I was told by people who worked there that it wasn't a good centre.

Trust your instincts. Because the consequences are too high if there is something going wrong.
My ds didnt get his bottle at daycare the other day but they went through it with me because he refused it. He had refused his bottle that morning too so it was probably just due to teething. But the point is that they explained what had happened.
But also I think you should ask the carers (nicely) point blank what happened as it is a lot easier to tell how sincere they are then if you go to the director and she gets their story and tells you second hand. Plus it lets them know that you notice these things and they might pull up their socks.

Good luck!

Your lil man deserves better than that, and you deserve better for the money you pay!

But.......

is he actually happy there? If he is happy and settled, it might be better off to sit down with the manager of the centre and express your concerns. If he isnt really happy there, try somewhere else - he will adapt and chances are he might even be given his milk!

Its so hard isnt it mel
Because (although it isnt our fault) we to an extent blame ourselves because we were the ones that put them in day care!
But i know exactly how you feel and i would be up front and direct with them. Even go in face to face if you can so that you ensure it is sorted out.
I would have snapped if i saw someone nudge DD with their foot like a dog! you are a stronger person than me... makes you wish there were little spy cameras in there!

as for the drink.. i was say that yes it wasnt given. I made sure i made it clear that DD is to have her water available 24/7 to her (as it is always in her reach at home) because she doesnt have bottles of milk anymore (only one at night b4 bed). so if it isnt then she doesnt drink at all! iykwim.

Leaving your child in daycare is hard enough without the stress of mistreatment or high turn over of staff!

let us know how you get on! :):hug::hug:

id ring and just ask some questions. You have the right to know- your paying for his care. I dont use my foot to get my sons attention, what makes them think they can do it to someone elses kid? When i was looking into dc for my lil man, they all were telling me that they let you know how your child was that day- nappy food drink and behaviour. If your not happy with their responses let them know that youll be watching them (and if your son talks) talking to your son. Still ask at other centres, maybe theyre more communicative.?

Rhianon - nah he doesn't talk that well yet, he can say words, but nothing to convey whether he is happy or not? I mean, he only cries for a second when I drop him off, and most of the girls are really good at distracting him.... I think its funny that they all think he is sooo laid back, and just goes with the flow - and he is SO not like that at home!! lol
But I will call the director and suss it out this morning (probably when DS is in bed so I won't be interrupted by screams.. lol)

Thanks for your opinions guys..

Ok rang director, waiting for her to get back to me about the water/milk thing, she knows the girl who must of been the one to use her foot, and when I remarked that I just thought it was unusual because thats not how the other girls get babies attention, she said no thats not usually the way it is done. So I've probably got the girl into trouble..the director is pretty fierce too, I wouldn't want to fight with her!! (and I'm big and tough too!!)

Soooo.. just waiting to see about if they totally starved my child of liquid or not.... I mean he wouldn't go without water here because even if he has run out or something, he goes into the kitchen and says "cup" but I'm sure he wouldn't associate their fridge to be able to do the same thing...

I hope all goes well with your talk with the Director.. Even if they don't give him his weetbix like he usually has at home.. Most centres that I've seen have a breakfast time between 7 & 8, but then they have morning tea at about 9, so he should get something before lunch time, especially since he's so young. I mean they could even let him have weetbix during the morning tea time.. It wouldn't be that hard! As for the milk and water that just isn't on. Unless they have said, like at my sons childcare, that the children can't bring in bottles of milk, but that they can bring in bottles and the centre will supply the milk or water (something about sometimes parents mix in medications or things with their childrens milk and if other children snatch it away or the child wanders around puts it down, another child could drink it and get sick.. never thought it could happen but better to be safe than sorry i guess). Or they might have forgotten and been using their own sippy cups for him? I don't know. You won't know unless you ask I guess. But nudging him with their foot to get his attention, if I saw anyone do that to my son I would lose it. There should be an "ethos of attachment" and that includes respect, trust and a caring relationship between the caregivers, child and parents, which honestly doesn't sound like you or your son are getting any of that from the day care.

Well the director called me back. She said that she will have words with the girl about the "foot" incident, that she is young, and still learning, and just a relief worker, but that she has no justification for it. I said that was fine, just that I was a little surprised thats all.

And she said that she asked the girls in his room about the water/milk, and they said that they DIDN'T offer him his milk..... but that he had his water bottle all day....

I dunno..... I don't believe them. They have NEVER filled up the water bottle before, just left it empty if he finishes it...

Hmm..... dunno if I'm overreacting or acting on my gut instinct...

BUT - as a plus - they have agreed to let me use cloth nappies on him... small positive out of today!!

*** UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE **** ;)

DS's last day at the centre will be on wednesday. I have booked him into a local Tadpoles centre (nice and new - just recently built -woohoo!) for Tuesdays to start with.

Plus, they have a specific toddler room - which is different to what he has at the moment, which is in a room from 6 weeks to 2 years. So now he goes into one that is 15 months to 2 years. I guess that is better for him??

Decided to go with my gut and get him out of the old one.... just do it I told myself!!! And managed to make all those phone calls (including one to centrelink to change provider numbers over) whilst DS was sleeping!! Wooohooo!!
Thanks for your support everyone, greatly appreciated. *mwah*

Good for your Mel!
It is hard to take the plunge! I had a problem with not being comfortable with the group DD was in and i pulled her out (still in the same daycare though) until she can go into another group.
I agonised over it for ages then just did and and felt so much better!

lvoe the idea of a new day care centre too! flashy

yay for moving him. I have to feel comfortable leaving Cadence at kindy. I did have her at an ABC until I picked her up one day and I could smell she had a pooey nappy I thought ok maybe she just did it. When I got home her nappy was soooooo full it was leaking and her bits were red raw and blistering. When I ripped it throught them They tried to tell me they changed her half an hour before I picked her up, I wasn't going to believe that cos it would take longer then half an hour to do that and there's no way she would have wee'd that much in half an hour. moral of the story they will tell you anything to get out of trouble

Mel, that's great news. I have trying to find time to post in here today but only just managed it now. I was going to say that the way you feel when you pick him up is the best indicator - but you've figured that out anyway LOL!! I am so pleased for you, that other centre really didn't sound very good to me.

Great news for you.

I always say trust your motherly instinct - you have it for a reason.

Thanks guys... I'm excited about checking out the new centre tomorrow. If its anything like the other one that we checked out months ago, it will be brilliant!!!!!
Just means that I may have to rely on the IL's and my mum during the week a bit more cos I'm only down for one day... but STILL.. much better feeling in my tummy now..

(Oh and I've conned DH into calling the day care and letting them know that we have pulled him out - I'm too much of a wuss to do that.. lol)

So glad you got him out of there!! Didn't sound very good to me.

Although, having said that, I once picked up DS from CC and his bottle still had milk in it. I asked them about it and they were all horrified and really apologetic. I was a bit upset by it, but they said that he had HEAPS of lunch (like he normally does...he eats three times what the other kids do). It was a while ago, and I can't remember what reason/excuse they gave, but I promised myself that if it happened agian or I had anothe problem then I would pull him out, even though he loves the place, and all the girls there love him.

Since this happened, they have put a white board up in the kitchen with every different kids meal routine/diet requirements etc on it. Was glad to see them do something about it, not just pay lip service to it.

But if the other girls were all talking about how poorly it is run etc, then you have totally done the right thing. I hope you are all really happy with it, and I hope DH enjoys making that phone call...you chicken...be-gerk!! :)

Gudi - that's brill news! Will tadpoles let you use cloth too?

Well done. I don't blame you to get your DH to ring to cancel!

Let us know how the new centre goes! I'm so glad you're moving him. Honestly- he didn't get offered water or milk. They're fibbing. No one refills the bottle the same level and replaces it in the fridge- especially young relief staff.

Gosh....poor little man...and poor you. How awful that your baby 'may' not have had any liquids all day. Good on you for approaching them. At least they know your onto them. Keep a close guard on everything......
Do you know any other parents there ? Maybe whilst walking to the carpark or something you could casually ask one of the mothers/fathers 'you had any probs with this place?'. Put your feelers out....good luck...

glad to hear you were able to sort out an alternative, hope it gives you good feelings hon, you have to do what is right for you and your baby boy!!
and wow are other centres allowed to dictate what nappies you send your child in????, we certainly aren't our policies are based on the individual needs of the family so if you want them to wear cloth....they wear cloth!!!!
good luck sweets xxxxxx

Blizz - I think its more a case of can they be stuffed bothering with having to work with cloth rather than disposables..
But yeah, hopefully Tadpoles don't mind!!!

mbear - you know, I have never really spoken to any of the other mothers there?? They don't come across real friendly (I think its the area that its in, sorta.. not snobbish.. but cliquey if you know what I mean??)

Ren - spot on dude, thats what I thought too..

SL - yeah its not the first time he wasn't given his milk, but they have been good for a bit (and I never got explanations as to WHY they didn't give him bottles when he was still on bottles) plus I've had stuff stolen from there from other mothers.. like seriously.. who wants a sippy cup with "Aricyn" written on it.. :wall:

Good to hear Mel!!! As PP mentioned, we have mothering/gut instinct for a reason hun and what a crock - they wouldn't admit to not giving him water/milk even if they knew so are definately covering for her. Glad you found somewhere you feel comfortable with! :hooray: Had to have a giggle at you getting DH to call them - haha!

**Update***

DH called the day care this morning and told them that because I've basically been retrenched (little white lie... well I'll be on maternity leave, and we don't know for SURE that I'll still work here, everyone else says yes, but I'm not coming back for a crappy position that I don't want to do.. ) that this will be DS's last week.... so his last day is on wednesday.. they said that it was fine, and that they would miss him..

So I called up just before to check how he was going (sleeping, yay!) and got told that he had been having a really wonderful day, and that the carer was REALLY going to miss him because she loves him a lot...

Now I'm getting the guilts... what if I've done the wrong thing?!?! What if he really likes it there?!?! What if he hates Tadpoles!?!? ArGGHhhhh.... so much guilt... feeling so bad now... :(

I know its been a while since your original post but I have just come across it and wanted to add my 2 cents in.
First - congrats on getting him into a different centre - think thats the best thing you could have done.
Next - I spoke to the director at my centre and she said that it is a LEGAL REQUIREMENT for the carers to document feeds/drinks etc every day - more so for under 18mo than other ages. Do you know if that centre did that? Every afternoon when I collect C from daycare I read about her day - her last feed, sleep, BM etc. Gives me the best idea as to when she needs her next.... Every centre also needs to have a dental policy. Liek after every feed they swish some water around or have a bit of cheese or apple.
I know this doesnt help you now but I guess it might give you something to look at when you take bubs to the new centre.
And don't get me started on the whole foot thing.............

Rebecca,
They have a list up on the wall, just most of the time it isn't filled in :rolleyes: I'm lucky if it has the time of his sleeps (so I can know how grumpy he is going to be in the car on the way home!!) but it never says how much to drink they have. Oh, and I know that Tadpoles do a list that they give to you at the end of the day about the kids days, plus they have the thing about the cheese at the end of every meal - which DS will love cos he doesn't eat much more than that these days!! lol

I know its probably best.. just wish I could take that one carer with me!!!!

Mel, we left a really, really awesome carer at our old centre too. And believe me I had the guilts big time. But we have lots of awesome carers at our "new" (it's not so new now LOL!) centre and I know that making the move was definitely the right thing. I am sure it will be for you too. Try not to let those mummy guilts get you too much hun. Big hugs!