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Thread: Should I assume the worst?? (Long - sorry!)

  1. #1

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    Angry Should I assume the worst?? (Long - sorry!)

    Ok, so DS goes to day care twice a week whilst I go to work. He's been going since November, and I'm told, always has a great day while there.

    A while back we got a bit grumpy at the day care because some of the staff were arguing in front of the kids (and parents that were there dropping kids off) and they wouldn't give DS his weetbix - EVER - at 9.00 like he had at home, he would have to wait until lunchtime to have something to eat. On top of that, two girls from the nursery area (his area) both left and told me that it was a really bad managed centre (I got along with the girls really well obviously - still email one cos we became friends) and that they hated working there.

    So we put DS's name down at another centre about 10 minutes drive from the one he currently goes to. That was ages ago and we haven't heard anything from the new centre.

    So today, I went to pick DS up and he was sitting on the floor, and I didn't recognise the two carers there, so they must of been new, one of them pushed him with their foot and said look who's here. So DS looked up and walked over to me. I didn't appreciate the fact that they just used their FOOT to get my son's attention, but like, whatever, didn't bother me too much.

    Then I went to the fridge and discovered that his sippy cup of milk, and sippy cup of water were both still FULL. So basically, to my knowledge, my son was NEVER given liquid at all today. I know they didn't give him the milk, cos they wouldn't of replaced it, but if they give him water, its always nearly empty, or is empty. So I would assume that if they did give him some water, he drank it all, and they filled it up again. (Which would be strange cos they usually leave it empty!!?)

    So would you assume that they just didn't give him anything to drink at all today?? Or give them the benefit of the doubt??



    I'm going to give another centre a call tomorrow to see if I can change DS cos I'm still not overly impressed with the centre, but very interested in everyone else's opinions..

  2. #2

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    Oh hun Iz doesn't go to CC so I don't know what usually happens but that sounds odd to me. For a start - using her FOOT to get his attention??? I'm a teacher and I would never do that to a student, completely disrespectful to Aricyn and to you babe.
    Also, I would be questioning them about exactly what he had to drink, and why his milk and water was untouched, and if they did give him something, why wasn't the milk and water given to him????? Sounds very odd and I would definately look into it and also maybe look into other centres in the area. HtH from an inexperienced me.

  3. #3

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    I would say trust your doubts and just look into a few other centres to see if you get a better feeling about them. The foot sounds very... just like a shove it's not very caring or nurturing and i'd question the drinks too. My DS goes to fdc so it is slightly different but i get informed on what and how much he ate of what i provided and even the nappy changes. If you're not happy with your son being cared for in that way look for something that makes you happy.

  4. #4

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    Did he have a big drink when you gave him one? If so, assume the worst and lodge a complaint!

  5. #5

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    Well the milk was in the fridge so long that the top of it was a bit frozen, so I had to mush it up a bit, but yeah he drank most of the milk and about a third of the water in the car on the way home...

  6. #6

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    It sounds like they didn't offer it to him. I went through something similar with Nina's old daycare. I would be contacting other daycares around your area and trying to get him in.

  7. #7

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    Kick up a fuss mate. In a fair, reasonable, 'no-I'm-not-a-nutter-but-this-is-NOT-good-enough' kind of way. Ask questions and see what they have to say, give them a chance to explain things, but mention reporting them if you're not satisfied with answers they provide. It sounds like they might need a bit of a wake-up call.

    It could have just been a bad day at the centre, bad communication, and chaos, but that kind of thing regularly isn't acceptable. Hope it's not as bad as you think, and they have a good and satisfying explanation.

  8. #8

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    Oh that doesn't sound good at all!! Like Tanstar I don't have any personal CC experiences but that doesn't mean I can't see something pretty wrong with that picture. As if it isn't hard enough for parents (especially mums!) to have their little ones in CC in the first place, to have any doubt at all that they are nutured, cared for & respected just as they should be is awful.

    Poor little guy!! I agree with Nelle about making a fuss, it really is unacceptable & even if you get him into another centre the fuss you make now can certainly only benefit other kids in the centre's care. Give Aricyn a hug from me!! (& all the water he can drink lol)

  9. #9

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    Mel,

    I would definately be questioning it. At our DC, the never refill a bottle, and I even got a call today cause DD was out of sorts. She is only there 2 days a week and they know her really well (so much so that they can tell me when something is wrong long before I notice it LOL).

    You have to be comfortable leaving him wherever he goes, and with your 2nd one nearly here, you don't need the added stress..

  10. #10

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    Look, I am one of the most easy going people on the planet and I'd be the same as you and not really react if someone tried to get my baby's attention with her foot.

    But like you too, it would gnaw away at me later.

    And I just think it's rude and not a nice way to treat a baby. And the more I think about it, it's just not right and IT'S JUST NOT BLOODY ON.

    The milk/water incident on top of that. Something's not right. I too would look at other options.

  11. #11

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    WOAH HONEY.....MAJOR warning signs here, totally unacceptable behaviour for the staff to treat you litle man in such a fashion, DEFINATELY see the co-ordinator and express your concerns, are they an accredited centre? I have been a long day care worker for nearly 13years and I know for a fact that I would at least be given a written warning for such behaviour in the work place.
    Have you been in to see the other centre you put your name down at, again?...I would call back in now, let them see that you are really keen , are their other centres near by you could try?
    I really hope so, big hugs to your little man and good luck, you are totally right to be feeling uneasy, not acceptable even for a really bad day at work!!!!

  12. #12

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    Hmm.. yeah.. I know... *sigh*... its such a hard job being a mother!!!!! You know that nobody takes care of them like you do, but if you don't work, they won't have a roof over their heads!!!!

    I think I will ring the Director tomorrow and just suss out the situation (in my non-threatening way of course) and see if they were short staffed or whatever (not that that is an excuse anyway).

    Then I'll ring Tadpoles and see if I can chase them up.

    Then I'll ring the other Tadpoles near our home and see if they have any vacancies...

    Gee, this really isn't what I feel like doing at the moment!! I hate to feel that someone is treating my boy badly...

  13. #13

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    Honestly I would have left already if I was told by people who worked there that it wasn't a good centre.

    Trust your instincts. Because the consequences are too high if there is something going wrong.
    My ds didnt get his bottle at daycare the other day but they went through it with me because he refused it. He had refused his bottle that morning too so it was probably just due to teething. But the point is that they explained what had happened.
    But also I think you should ask the carers (nicely) point blank what happened as it is a lot easier to tell how sincere they are then if you go to the director and she gets their story and tells you second hand. Plus it lets them know that you notice these things and they might pull up their socks.

    Good luck!

  14. #14

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    Your lil man deserves better than that, and you deserve better for the money you pay!

    But.......

    is he actually happy there? If he is happy and settled, it might be better off to sit down with the manager of the centre and express your concerns. If he isnt really happy there, try somewhere else - he will adapt and chances are he might even be given his milk!

  15. #15

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    Its so hard isnt it mel
    Because (although it isnt our fault) we to an extent blame ourselves because we were the ones that put them in day care!
    But i know exactly how you feel and i would be up front and direct with them. Even go in face to face if you can so that you ensure it is sorted out.
    I would have snapped if i saw someone nudge DD with their foot like a dog! you are a stronger person than me... makes you wish there were little spy cameras in there!

    as for the drink.. i was say that yes it wasnt given. I made sure i made it clear that DD is to have her water available 24/7 to her (as it is always in her reach at home) because she doesnt have bottles of milk anymore (only one at night b4 bed). so if it isnt then she doesnt drink at all! iykwim.

    Leaving your child in daycare is hard enough without the stress of mistreatment or high turn over of staff!

    let us know how you get on!

  16. #16

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    id ring and just ask some questions. You have the right to know- your paying for his care. I dont use my foot to get my sons attention, what makes them think they can do it to someone elses kid? When i was looking into dc for my lil man, they all were telling me that they let you know how your child was that day- nappy food drink and behaviour. If your not happy with their responses let them know that youll be watching them (and if your son talks) talking to your son. Still ask at other centres, maybe theyre more communicative.?

  17. #17

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    Rhianon - nah he doesn't talk that well yet, he can say words, but nothing to convey whether he is happy or not? I mean, he only cries for a second when I drop him off, and most of the girls are really good at distracting him.... I think its funny that they all think he is sooo laid back, and just goes with the flow - and he is SO not like that at home!! lol
    But I will call the director and suss it out this morning (probably when DS is in bed so I won't be interrupted by screams.. lol)

    Thanks for your opinions guys..

  18. #18

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    Ok rang director, waiting for her to get back to me about the water/milk thing, she knows the girl who must of been the one to use her foot, and when I remarked that I just thought it was unusual because thats not how the other girls get babies attention, she said no thats not usually the way it is done. So I've probably got the girl into trouble..the director is pretty fierce too, I wouldn't want to fight with her!! (and I'm big and tough too!!)

    Soooo.. just waiting to see about if they totally starved my child of liquid or not.... I mean he wouldn't go without water here because even if he has run out or something, he goes into the kitchen and says "cup" but I'm sure he wouldn't associate their fridge to be able to do the same thing...

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