Zachary - our boy born sleeping

I am new to this forum as we lost our little boy 4 weeks ago. Zacahry was born on 24th July at 6.34am. He weighed 7lb 1oz (3.2kg).He never got to take a breath and we are devestated by the event. It was so unexpected and we were not prepared for anything like this to happen at 35 weeks! I just don't know how to get through each day. I feel like I am at the bottom of a pit that I can't get out of.

Ohh thats terrible so sorry to hear this.
Huge hugs to you :hug::hug::hug:

Belly belly is an amazing place for support ask any questions or just vent anger and hurt and you will always get support.

Huge hugs to you sweetie. :comfort:
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful little baby boy Zachary.

____________________________________
DS1- 14 DD- 11 DS2- 18 months

:angel: Noah Thomas born an angel 21 Feb 2006 (20w5d)
:angel: Little Wing Oct 07

Thank you Lisa. I just can't believe it happened. I still wake up hoping it was all just a very bad dream!

Thanks feeb
Glad you have your bundle of joy :-)

Zachary's Mom I'm so sorry little Zachary was born sleeping :hug: I hope you find comfort and support amongst the BellyBelly community.

Dear Zacharysmum,

I am deeply sorry for your loss and cannot even imagine your pain.

Welcome to BB and am sure that you will find many supportive women here.

My heart goes out to you.

Be strong :hug:

Zacharysmum,

I am so sorry for the loss of your gorgeous boy. I wish I could offer you some words to make it easier.

Unfortunately, I have also lost a son under similar circumstances. It is heartbreaking and such a difficult thing to go through. Believe it or not, it will become less overwhelming with time. It is very difficult, particularly in the early days but I can honestly say that things do get easier.

Take care of yourself. Try to eat well and sleep when you can - sleep is essential for coping. Seek further support if you need it. Hop on here to voice your thoughts and concerns - you will find many women who will understand.

Danek

Hi,
So sorry to hear of the loss of your precious little boy. No parent should have to go through this. You will get lots of support here on bb. Your baby will always be in your heart, hold him close. You and your family will be in my prayers, take care.

Regards,
Dianne

I'm so sorry that you are going through this :hug:

Life is sooo cruel. To give you something so precious and then take it swiftly away. Zachary is a beautiful name and I am sure he was a gorgeous little boy
I wish there was a way to ease your endless pain but sadly, only time will soothe.
Has your Drs given any answers as to why this has happened?
Seeking answers may help at least bring some closure.
I hope you are well supported by friends and family

So sorry to hear of the loss of your precious baby. :hug:
Like another poster has said little Zachary will always be in your heart, will always be a part of you. Look after yourself during this time. Let yourself grieve. Take as long as you need. You will get better.

I am so sorry for your devasting loss of baby Zachary.
Mother nature can be so cruel at times.
My thoughts are with you..
We all handle sorrow in different ways. Never be embarrassed to ask for help.
Take care of yourself :hug:

They have not found any reasons at all. All tetsts have come back as normal/ Still waiting on some autopsy results. My partner and family have been great. I am really lucky in that area.

I send you a BIG hug.
I have such a lump in my throat and tear in my eye reading your post.

What a terrible and unfair thing to have happen.

I don't really know what to say except that I am thinking of you - as it seems are many others here. I imagine that the world has stopped for you at the moment, I am taking a little time off now to think of you and your little boy too.

x

I am so sorry. words just aren't enough. We're so conditioned to think a healthy baby is a "given"...even if you were "high risk", as I was....you just don't allow your mind to process what that means. no promises, a hope, but nothing for certain. I too am still struggling, so I surely don't know the right words to make your day easier, but please know there are people who care and would love to help you if possible.

I hope you have a picture or foot prints or something that you can hold/look at to find comfort. The hospital gave me these and although I can't deal with the pictures yet, i love to look at and hold his footprints. If not this, maybe there is some object that reminds you of your baby that can bring you some comfort.

Many prayers for you,
Mel17

I can not even begin to imagine the pain you must be going through right now but I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts.
Please look after yourself.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful little boy.

Zachary's mum - I am so sorry for your devastating loss, no words will ever help your pain but just know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Just go with how you are feeling, no emotion is right or wrong, and as one of the other ladies has said keep your strength up by eating well and look after yourself as much as you feel you can. I know your feelings all too well, in February of 2007 my daughter Phoebe was stillborn and I honestly didn't know where to turn, I was so thankful for my partner and my family but I just felt nobody really understood,...until I found this website, other than my partner and family this and the women here are what have kept me going, its the first place I would come to speak of how I was feeling and the first place I came when I felt I wanted to try again, there are women here who will understand, so I truly hope that they can be such a support to you.

I am so sorry for your loss :( Look after yourself and I am sending you lots of strength to get through this very hard time in your life :hug:

I am so very sorry for your loss, the girls here are wonderful. Look after yourself :hug:

I'm so sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby boy Zachery :hug:.
I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through. All i can do is offer you my condolences. Your post has brought tears to my eyes.

I'm so glad you have a wonderful support network around you right now. Take care.

Thank you to everyone who has been in touch. I appreciate all your kind words and support.

I am just having a bad day today and feel like writing is the only thing I can turn to. I started back at work this week (just for 2 days a week for a while to get back into the swing of things).It was really hard as I am in the financial industry and had to work with the public all day. The hardest thing for me was that it seemed like wherever I went there were crying babies and I couldn't handle it. I was an emotional wreck all day (which was embarrassing for me at work).

WILL THIS PAIN EVER GO AWAY? AM i EVER GOING TO FEEL NORMAL AGAIN? WILL THERE EVER BE A DAY WHEN I DON'T CRY? :crying:

This pain feels like more than I can bear. All I want is my little boy in my arms!

Sorry to go on - I am just really blue today.

Love to all

Theresa,

:hug: to you hun. All you can do is take it all day by day. I wish i could take away your pain right now. Just know we are all here wheneer you need to talk,vent,scream whatever it is you need.

Take care

Thank you so much. It helps to know there are kind people like you in this world. Thanks for your message on my profile page. I don't know how to reply to that message (I am a bit technically challenged :-)

Hope you are okay and looking after yurself.

hi Zachary's mom,

i am so so deeply sorry for your loss.I have no answers as to why this happened its so unfair. BB has great support. i wish i could take some of that pain away. I am sorry to you and your family. I am sorry you lost a beautiful son! I cant even begin to imagine what your going through and now waiting on results oh sweety :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: I am sorry i can only imagine if 4 weeks ago i lost my son. You are so brave to come and share with us thank you!

Thank you - and congratulations on the birth of your little boy - he is beautiful.:clap:

:hug: I too am sorry for your loss....

Please never feel sorry for writing whats in your heart.... This is what we on BB are here for..... So let it all out .... Cry scream and tell us all your hurt and pain.... with time I hope we can help you through your darkest days.....:hug:

Thank you Zachary's mom for you congrats. I dont know where you find the time to thank ppl with everything on your plate i guess its something to do to keep your mind a bit more busy.

Zachery's mom ~ How are you doing hun,been thinking about you.

I'm so sorry you lost your precious Zachary, it really breaks my heart :(

Beck

Thank you for your thoughts.:)

I am okay. I am back at work but just 2 days a week for a little while. I will go back fulltime in October. Every day is a struggle with something new usetting me all the time. I find it so hard when we had planned a future and I keep thinking of things I should be doing with Zachary. The smallest things can set me off crying - it is so frustrating. I miss him sooooo much. Thanks for thinking of me. How are you?

I'm ok hun. I can't imagine how hard this is for you,all you can do is take it all 1 day at a time. How's your partner doing? Have you looked into finding a support group maybe to talk with others that know the pain you're feeling? Just thought hun.

Take care of yourself

Well - yesterday Zachary would have been 3 months old. It was a bad day for me. I have also just got out of hospital after having my gall bladder removed (from gall stones that developed during my pregnancy). So I have been feeling very sorry for myself.

I still wonder why this has happened to us?!?! We wanted our little boy so much. I keep trying to imagine what he would have been like but I just can't picture it - which upsets me even more! I seem to be heading into a slump again. Hating the world and finding it hard to see anyone with children. I feel so guilty about my friends who have recently have babies as I want nothing to do with them at the moment. I just can't share in tyheir joy. I don't wish anyone ill thoughts, I just can't share in their joy when we have lost our son.

We are looking at ytrying again once I recover from this recent surgery but at the same time I am petrified! I guess I will deal with that one when it happens.

Hope you are all ytaking comfort from each other and your families.

Theresa:cry:

Hi hun,
The pain of losing our precious angels never goes away but somehow we learn to deal with that pain and it gets easier day by day. Keep your precious memories of your little Zachary close to you.

Take care,
Dianne

Hi Zachary's Mum,

Just wanted to drop you a line to see how you are doing. I have been thinking about you.

:hug:

I am okay. Just had surgery to have my gall bladder removed so I have been feeling very sorry for myself. I have good days and bad days and the silliest things can still get me crying!:cry:

How are you?
Thanks for thinking of me - I appreciate it. :hug:

Youch!

I hope that the surgery means that you are feeling better physically.

I noticed you mentioned Zachary would have been 3 months old recently. I am glad you have brought it to our attention as it is important to keep intouch with people when you are feeling low. 3 months is a huge milestone isn't it. I bet it still really hurts that he is not here, just as you said. I imagine that those friends of yours who have recently had babies would more than understand how you are feeling. I am sure they do not begrudge you feeling guilty that you are not able to share their joy as they would most likely feel exactly the same way if they were in your situation. I know that I would (and do) understand. I think that you have a few free passes up your sleeve to just feel exactly as you need to at the moment.

How am I? Not bad I guess. Life presents its ups and downs on many different levels. I wont bore you with the details here and now, but suffice to say, I am keeping my chin up.

I wish you and your husband the very best if and when you decide to try to get pregnant again. Zachary can take on a new role of being a guardian angel, both to you and your husband and to any potential siblings - what a lovely thought!

The surgery went well and I on the mend - so it is a good thing.

Yes - Zachary would have been 3 months old last Friday. It is extremely hard that he is not here and my heart aches every day for him.

You would not bore me. I feel like I need to be supportive to you as you have been to me. So any time you want to let it all out - I am here.

On another note. I am having problems with my account. Every time I try and access my details or someone else's profile it won't give me access? Have you ever encountered this problem? I don't know why it is doing it?

We are looking at trying for another baby now that the surgery is over. I am so scared it is going to take a long time. we will never replace Zachary but we have so much love to give. Zachary as a guardian angel is a beautiful thought. Thank you.

Thanks again for your messages - it keeps me going :)

I have only stumbled across your story now and juat wanted to send you lost of hugs. I am so very sorry for your loss. I sincerely hope that 2010 brings healing to you and your family. I hope you have found and continue to find lots of support in real life and on BB. You are in my thoughts.
Lots of love, Sasa