My 12w Appointment...

OMG guys, I can't believe there are so many of you waiting for my update!! Bad news though - no scan today :(

It was all very boring really. They asked medical history & all that rubbish, weighed me, did my height, blood pressure & more bloods cos they didn't get my blood type last time. Stupid guy taking my blood was very rough, so wasn't real happy about that either :mad:

I had to fill out this questionnaire about how I have been feeling in the last week too. She said that it shows the potential risk of you developing PND & if you get a certain score you are sent off for counselling to catch it early. I was borderline, so not sure if that means they will keep an extra eye on me or something...

I found this really odd though - the midwife said that there was no point trying to hear the heartbeat cos it's still too early.... Now I know alot of you guys have heard heartbeats way earlier than 12w so I just don't understand. She says I have to wait til at least 14w.

She asked about the NT test & said I was cutting it pretty fine to be able to get it done before 13w, nevermind that I asked about it at least 2 weeks ago & I was told I had to sort it out at this appointment today... So anyway, they couldn't fit me in & it's not such a huge thing seeing as I am fairly low risk anyway.

I told the midwife I was worried cos I don't have any symptoms & all she said was don't complain, you're one of the lucky ones. Thanks alot, that really helped!

Anyway after all that, I have to go back to the hospital in 2 weeks to get checked out by the actual Dr just to make sure there will be no complications & confrim whether I can keep doing shared care. They will check the heartbeat at that appointment, then I get the u/s at 16w. I don't know if I can wait that long :-s

Phew, I started to worry about why you were doing a seperate thread and am very pleased to see you are ok. Cant the heartbeat only be detected by ultrasound and then by doppler a bit later and then later even via normal stethoscope? Not 100 percent sre but interested in seeing what people have to say on that. Anyway Sarah I am sorry you didnt get an Ultrasound and that when they took blood they werent exactly gentle from what it sounds.

Hugs

Kayla

Well That really sux!! So you don't get you n/t scan? But you wanted one! Are you annoyed? Oh well. only FOUR weeks till your scan!! I'll have to wait till I'm 18 weeks for mine....only SEVEN more weeks!!

Tanya

Awww Sarah, sorry it was such a boring experience! They just don't get it do they? Just cos they go through all of this every day, when it is your first time, you do have questions and expectations and fears and excitement etc. etc.
What a bloody insensitive thing to say about how you shouldn't complain about not having any symptoms. Geez! You have every right to feel the way you do and she shouldn't devalue your feelings like that!
Would have been nice for you to hear the heartbeat for reassurance. Honestly, where is the bedside manner??

Urgh Sarah that really sucks. Can you goto another hospital they sound like right pains in the butt.

If you want an early u/sound can you have one done at a private clinic and just pay for it ??

I'd be very mad if they had done that to me and i have never heard of the questionaiire thing about PND before either.

Love :smt049

<Insert expletives here>

*Has a tantrum*

I want to knoooooooooooow!!!!! NOT FAIR!

Well I guess I am going to have to wait ANOTHER 4 weeks!

I can't believe they didn't listen to the heartbeat, that is sooooooo weird imo.

Well goodluck :) And I can't wait maybe we'll know in two weeks when they find 3 heartbeats ;) Yours and two others ;)

*hugs*
Cailin

Sarah, so sorry to hear you didn`t get your u/s. Sounds like you had a pretty awful experience, it would not have hurt her to try and find a heartbeat - obviously too difficult for her to do or perhaps she was late for morning tea, sorry but I know how anxious you would have been and some kind words don`t go astray!!!!!!

Deeanne

Oh yeah just read Kathryn's post and DITTO! I agree totally!

*hugs*
Cailin

I'm very cranky about the whole thing. I don't see, like Kayla said, why she couldn't just try to find a heartbeat - but then again if she couldn't find it I would have totally freaked out!

I knew you'd be annoyed too Cai, I think you're as excited as I was!! I read about three heartbeats & thought oh no she can't be wishing triplets on me, glad you clarified that one ;)

Yeah there is another hospital that I could go to Kathryn, but the two are linked with apprently the same Drs and midwives rotating between the two so I would assume it would be the same at either hospital.

I think I'll try to hold out at least for the 2 weeks to hear the heartbeat. Everyone keeps telling me I'm lucky for having no symptoms so I am going to try & convince myself of that. As much as everyone says it's a bad thing to do, I just wish I was a little bit sick, just for the reassurance IYKWIM.

Did you tell her that you thought you were carrying rather big? Did she feel you fundus? Was it high?
Sorry Sarah... I spose we are now crowding you!!
Tanya

Nope, didn't touch me other than to take my blood pressure.

Right that's it... where does she live? What's her phone number? LOL

Tanya

Urh Sarah, bugger about the boring appointment... :smt091 That is so strange that they couldn't have given you an u/s there and thern as they would have the facilities to do one, on hand. BIG :hugs: matey.

That is crap that they couldn't hear the heart beat as they would've been able to if they had given you the u/s. I rememver when they did my 1st one with Nicholas they looked at the heart using different colours on the screen and looked at the valves of the heart.

How insensitive he woman was, speaking the way she did to you. Like Kathryn, I have never heard of that questionaire either.

I will be hanging out for another 2 weeks to see how you go.

Kazz & co \:D/
Nicholas 26/10/02

Awsww sweetie, big hugs for you, and Aaron.

You know I went through the same thing, it not feeling real for so long, and when I was about 16 weeks I saw my GP and asked her to use the doppler so I could hear the heartbeat for some reassurance and she couldnt find it, so like you said, I dont know which is worse. But atleast she tried. As you know all is just fine, so maybe the midwife was unsure of checking for the heartbeat as she was worried if it would only make you stressed if she couldnt find it?

Jess

Sarah... sorry you had such a crappy appt. You'd think they'd at least try to ease your mind a bit, considering you even told her you were a bit worried. *smacks* to the norty midwife!

If you decide you can't wait that long, maybe trying for a private u/s might be a good idea?

Anyway.. hope you have a better time of it for your next appt :D

If I might intrude... I'll join in Cailin's tanty... cos I want to know too!!! I was hoping you'd get to see bub(s) before saturday! I'm waiting for you to move over to 2nd tri with me.... I'm too scared to go on my own ;)

aww bummer sarah,
pitty they didnt give u an u/s i asw joshuas heart beat which was a flash on the screen at 7 and a half weeks, i read just the other day in a book that the heart beat can be heard using a doppler thingo from 9 weeks onwards, i always heard joshuas from 13 weeks onwards she was always checking it and feeling my belly to check things...

4 weeks :( im hopinh they'll give me a scan at 12 weeks which is another 7 weeks away darn it! lol
though im not as worried as my bb's are still so very sore im even having to wear a sports bra to bed for extra comfort


Lesley

Too scared, I thought you'd be doing the dance of joy ;) Don't worry I'll be with you on Saturday :D Can you believe that we are already on the way to 2nd Tri, seems like yesterday that we had our big tanty chat!! BTW no probs with joining in Cai's tanty!

Thanks Jess, I know you have been exacty where I am which is a bit of a comfort :)

Just had another thought - was anyone else told not to have their DH at the first booking in appointment at the hospital? As the midwife was going through the questions there was a thing on her computer about domestic violence & she marked it as "Unable to ask". Aaron commented & she said he wasn't even supposed to be there - it says so in the letter we got confirming the appointment. Well nevermind that we never got the letter!! He offered to go away while she asked any questions she needed to, but she said not to bother.

She sounds like a right cow! It's Aaron's baby too...he should be totally involved from the beginning. If there are things they need to ask you privately, they can ask him to leave for a while. Maybe she needs another good smack!!!

I am doing the dance of joy..really! But it's a pretty huge step for us, having never been far enough through a pg to think about 2nd tri before. I need you to hold my hand ;) It does only seem like a little while ago that we were chucking tantys... maybe we should let the girls still TTC in on the secret :)

I totally agree with Zola, she sounds like a cow and it is Aaron's baby too and he should be as much apart of it as he wants to be and that includes going to the hospital with you.

I have never heard of questions like that being asked. When i had my appointment with Nicholas she just went through my medical history.

Kazz & co \:D/
Nicholas 26/10/02

I think we should let them in on our secret ;)

Munchkin & I will be there to hold Feliola's and your hands whenever you need it. Except during birth cos we will probably be in the same position at the time :)

GRRRRRRR@that woman! How bloody rude! I remember marc did have to go into another room whilst they asked me personal questions, but they never asked anything about abuse :evil:

Ok I'll ask...whats the secret?

*hugs*
Cailin

OMG Sarah. That woman sounds absolutely dreadful.
I can't believe she didn't even try to listen for the heartbeat.
From memory I heard DD's heartbeat around 10 weeks?? I know it was earlier than i expected. Definately know it was before 12 weeks.

Hope you and Aaron get to see and hear munchkin next time.

Nic

What a weird question to ask! And how bizarre to assume that you wouldn't want your husband - the father of your baby, at your appointment! Friggen hell! What kinda backwards hospital are you going to?? (though I shouldn't comment - haven't been to mine yet, lol).
Domestic violence? Honestly, do you think anyone would answer it truthfully to a complete stranger n e way?
Sarah, have you thought about submitting a complaint to the hospital? This is just too bizarre!

Sarah,

Like all of these lovely ladies, I am horrified to your appointment - golly, I hope that doesn't make you feel bad!

It seems that every doctor, including ob's and midwife's do things differently. I' ve seen my ob twice and both times he has used his sethiscope (sp?) and has told me he can hear the heartbeat - and the first time was at 10 weeks? My gp said that this couldn't be done? Very confusing!

My ob booked me in for a scan at 12 weeks, unbeknownest to me, for a n/t test as well - didn't even give me a choice! And that it cost us $90 that we can't claim back. If given the choice I would not have done it but maybe he does it for all his patients over 30? I meant to give him a piece of my mind last appointment but I totally forgot!! pg brain at it's best.

So I sort of understand what it's like Sarah, let's hope that your next appointment you get another midwife. I can't believe that they said that Aaron shouldn't be there?? I have DH at every appointment.

Oh well, I hope that everyone goes well from now on. :)

Special note to zola - tsk tsk girl!! 2nd tri is not scary in the slightest - get over there now!! ;)

LOL Cai, Zola even said what it was!! The secret was out big tanty that we had... A few weeks after it, we were both pregnant - obviously that's what did it, not the copius amounts of BDing that was going on ;)

Not sure if you guys would have heard about it in Melb, but there are 2 hospitals in the middle of a big scandal with patient deaths in Southwest Sydney atm - Campbelltown & Camden. I'm at Campbelltown..... Don't worry the deaths were totally unrelated to obstetrics and the relevant people are gone now, but yeah kinda makes you wonder! I can't go to another hospital either cos my GP can only go to those two & I am NOT leaving him for anything.

At least I only have 2 appointments at the hospital plus the birth, the rest are with my fantastically lovely GP (even if he did tell Aaron he dropped me on my head when I was born LOL).

I was never asked about domestic abuse either and Andrew was always welcome at all my appointments. Sarah you can request not to have that midwife again, it is a paitents right.

Love :smt049

It seemed like a standard thing. She went through all these sections on the computer asking questions in each - like family history, past pregnancies, height/weight etc details & then this section.

I think I will ask not to have her again cos she was a bit mean. We walked out of there & looked at eachother & both said "She was a bit mean don't you think?!"

Awww Sarah, I feel so bad for you and Aaron. BIG :hugs: :hugs: to both of you.

Kazz & co \:D/
Nicholas 26/10/02

Oh no!! What a disappointing appointment..... and I agree with everyone, what an absolutely rude lady!

I find that weird re. the heartbeat. When I went for my first U/S at 7 weeks exactly the sonographer picked up the heart rate and displayed it on the screen and measured it. So I'm sure they would have been able to do that with yours. Then at my NT scan at 12 weeks the OB in Germany did the same and he even could put on the sound and you could hear it swishing away.

If you do want the NT scan, I agree with everyone else, just go private and pay out of pocket. If you're not too fussed about it (=read, wouldn't have an abortion anyways), then just wait til the scan at 16 weeks (though I can understand it must be annoying to have to wait another month). I know it's a bit of money, but for me it was totally worthwhile! I found it so reassuring to see our Snowmonkey pogo-dancing inside my belly.

I hope your next visit goes a lot better!! (and how weird that they supposedly sent you a letter saying your husband shouldn't come, what the... ?) It's such a wonderful experience for a couple! Weird people! (change the hospital!)

Snowy

C'mon Zola and Sarah, venture your way into the 2nd trimester - we talk about so many fun things like heartburn, belly hair, back pain, stretch marks - how can you refuse!!!!!!

Jess

Hi Sarah, i'm sorry to hear that your appointment didnt go to well.
That midwife sounds awful, i would deffinitley ask for a different one next time
I dont get my booking in appointment until 19weeks because i am doing share care and my gp has been on paternity leave so i only saw him last week and i'm 15weeks tommorrow, i thought he woul of checked the heartbeat, but told me that i have to wait for the midwife to do it, i eep saying to dp that i'm going to end up having this baby without seeing a midwife LOL

Anyway i hope your next appointment goes alot better, and come on over to 2nd tri, its great.

I don't want to offend any Australians but I think the way they treat pregnancy over here is terrible. In the U.S. with my first prenancy we did a home prenancy test that came back positive at about 6 weeks. We called my Gyno and they made us an appt for the next monday where they did a urine test and then an internal ultrasound to tell us when conceptions occured. They even let us take the pictures home with us. Then they set up an 8 week appt. where they checked my blood pressure, urine, and also checked with doppler for the heartbeat- which they found. Not only that but they gave us the option to take a machine home so we could listen to the heartbeat anytime we wanted at home in case we were worried. Then I had another appt after the third month, and one a month until the third trimester where I went every two weeks and then once a week in the last month. Not only that but all the blood tests and genetic tests where covered by medicare- not like here where if you want them you have to pay for them. When I found out I had to wait until 10 weeks to even see someone I almost died! We're planning on going back to visit family for Christmas and I'm seriously considering staying over there until the baby is born because think the care is so much better.

Wow, that's amazing Pandora, I wish we had that type of care here in Oz.

Kazz & co \:D/
Nicholas 26/10/02

Wow, it's amazing how things are so different between here & the US.

its the same as the UK, everything is free from the NHS, man i miss that!! lol, but yeah i had great care theyw ere always checking for joshuas heart beat,they listend to the heart using some thing they put on my belly and then put there ear too and then used a doppler thingo so i could hear it you had an appointment with the midwife at your local doctors surgery every 2 weeks untill after 32 weeks then it was every week, , ultrasounds were good u got to take piccies home too, they made all the hospital appointments for you, the best thing i thought though was it was all covered by nhs and aswell u got a mdical expemption certificate or whatever it was called so up untill the baby turned one and from date of conception you didnt have to pay for any perscriptions or dentist work, loved it hehe

i think i may be in for a bit of a shock going through a pregnancy here.

Pandora - isn't it a whole other story if you don't have insurance over there? I was told there was no such thing as medicare over there? Just curious.
I only ask because a friend of mine went back to Florida while she was at the end of her 2nd Trim/ start of 3rd and she had some bleeding. She managed to clock up $6000 worth of bills because she no longer had insurance (even though she was born there). If it had been the other way around and she was coming back to Australia, medicare would have covered most of it. Guess there are pros and cons to every medical system iykwim?

I don't necessarily think its country vs. country (although the british do have a great FREE system as far as I am aware, even free dental for pregnant women and new mums). Moreso hospital vs Dr. With Paris I got a 6 week U/S then another one in two weeks then one at 11 weeks then 18 and 22 weeks. I got pics from the last 3 u/s and videos to take home with commentry & measurements etc. I could see my share care Dr whenever I wanted, I could go into the hospital whenever I wanted (I was public). I would have prefered to see the same dr but that was because I was going public. Next time I will be going private with famous Dr Nick :)

And I have heard in Aus you can check to see if your private OB has an u/s machine on site (like the ones they use in emergency) and they can do a little check for you at every appt.

I think you can get a high level of care here in Aus you just have to know who to go to and to ask for it.

As Debbie said I think there are definitely pro's and con's for both. For example I know in the US you do not need a referral to see a specialist/ob/gyn/paed etc which I think in some instances is a good thing ie. when you have a screaming baby and you know your dr is being a pain in the butt ;)

Don't get me wrong I think the US has a great medical system but I also think Aus is pretty good too!

*hugs*
Cailin

Interesting discussion, having lived in Oz, UK and US I have to say, Australia has a great system, but when it comes to pregnancies and births they seem a little bit lax.

The UK I would rate as the worst. Sure, they pay, but it takes FOREVER to get to see a doctor. If I ever got sick in the UK I would get on a plane or train and head over to continental Europe.
I had a bladder infection over in the UK and they wouldn't give me an appointment with a specialist for 12 weeks... hello?? I passed out from the pain in the end and was taken to the emergency ward, where the doc on duty asked me after looking at my urine sample, whether I was sure, that I didn't have my period .... (I guess the upside was that, yes, it was paid for, but ... )
My friend from NZ got sick over there and was severly dehydrated and couldn't even walk anymore. No doctor would see her for 3 days, because she wasn't registered. When she kept drifting in and out of consciousness, her friend called me in tears (I was in a skilift in Austria at the time) From my own experience I told her to go to the emergency ward. They did help her there, but why won't a doc see you, when you are in that state is beyond me!
Last but not least a very good friend had really bad headaches. His UK doc told him he was just stressed. He persisted and asked to have a scan when it didn't go away. He kept ringing the hospital over and over and over but no one knew anything. Finally after 6 months he found someone who would have a look at the scan. The specialist called him back and said that he is very sorry but that it turns out he has Hodgkins and if someone had looked at it 6 months ago, he would have a 90% chance of survival (like Delta Goodrem), but that now, unfortunately, he only has 6 months to live. This friend died in February this year.
So, I'm sorry, I can't agree that the UK has a very good system at all. A lot of patience in the UK actually go to Germany and France to have their operations, because the hospitals over there have not enough beds, doctors and theatres to treat everyone. Chances are you die before you get treated if you have something serious.
I personally feel a lot safer in Australia and better taken care of.

Sorry this has turned into such a huge rant but it's a very personal issue for me. I think the Australian system is really quite good. Some public hospitals are in a bit of a sad state, but the doctors are excellent. Sure, it could be improved, but that would cost money and I don't think people are willing to pay more for their medicare. And I like it that if your GP sucks, you can still go to a specialist and pay for him out of your own pocket - but at least someone will see you. - unlike in the UK (though it's usually not that hard to get a referral)

Snowy

Wow snowy, I had never heard that. Thanks for the info ;) It just goes to show that everyone has a different experience no matter where you are.

*hugs*
Cailin

Sorry to hear your appointment didn't go as planned Sarah. What a horrible midwife!

I do shared care with my GP and my local hospital and i can't even see the midwife only doctors coz the midwifes don't do shared care at all!

I am lucky though that all my tests (blood, u/s etc) were covered by medicare. But i didn't get them done at the hospital. We have a seperate pathology and u/s place.

Except last time i had a blood test i did get it done at the hospital because before that at the pathology the woman was such a b!tch, she just shoved the needle in me and then moved it around til she found my vein! It hurt like hell.

Anyways, sorry to take up your post, got a little passionate with my winge.

Take care,