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I get asked this ALL the time. Define the word "good". What do u want me to say. To me, she is good. But in the same sense she is a baby. I dont know why i get so peeved at everyone asking me this.
Does anyone else find they get asked the same thing? even by complete strangers?
All the time :rolleyes: to the point I now ask them to define *good* :D Usually they mean do they sleep but DS never did (and still doesn't :wall:) and DD is being a normal baby.
I think it is mostly a conversation starter but it has driven me nuts on occasion.
Yep i always get it for Zach...and my answer is Yes he is a good baby.
He sleeps through the night, rarely cries, self settles, and is so easy going an happy natured. What more could i ask for?
When Chelsea was a baby and i was asked was she a good baby....i questioned what did they mean?
I was told 'good' refers to their sleeping and eating habits, how they act when out (ie sleep easy, dont cry much, easy going and adpat to surroundings etc) and how they are in general.
Yes I get very annoyed (but try not to show it). I think people mean 'good' as in they sleep at/through the night. It's such a value laden question but I just think that people are being polite and don't always know what to say or ask so that say that. I usually get it from older people and I think it annoys because just cos DD didn't sleep well doesn't mean she is not good. Of course they are good. What type of answer do they want- no, she's not???
Being my 3rd, I suppose I am a bit more forthright now and say - no baby is intentionally bad!!! They all have their ups and downs, but yes overall he is very settled and flexible, which suits our family :)
Good to me always implies reference to sleep and crying - which ALL babies do!
Yeah I get it.
I just say yes, and keep moving. No need to elaborate cos they don't need to know my business.
YES! thats one thing i remember HATING when DD was small!
It seems to be the 'usual' question doesn't it :rolleyes:
The other one that drives me crazy is the 'is he a good sleeper?' question. Everyone asks that??
My answer: As good as can be expected.
What I'm really thinking: He's a baby, what do you think??!!!!
DH wants to say (and has done :doh:) "no, he is a **** but I can hardly send him back can I" He was kidding - the sending him back part anyway :D
:rofl: Maybe I can start saying that too!:
Yes I am sick of getting asked if my baby is good or if she's a good sleeper. And I agree that good is referring to sleeping or crying (which all babies do!)
Is there any other type?
Seriously, its a stupid question. Michelle, I love your DHs reply. Its just the kind of tonic one needs to remind the asker what a stupid question this really is.
:wall: I used to hate being asked this. "Is he a good baby, does he sleep through the night?" Ummm, no, but yes, he's good, thanks very much....
After watching Bringing Up Baby the other night, I think maybe it's some kind of 50's flashback...
:wall: I hate this question and everyone asks it. It's a dumb question. I just say yes :rolleyes:.
It IS a dumb question and so is, "are they a good sleeper" but on the other hand it's quite hard to think of a totally inoffensive opening question.
I've felt tempted to ask it myself and then I have to remind myself of convos on BB and stop myself just in time. Really, I think people are asking, "are you enjoying being a mum" but that could be taken the wrong way too. Like "what, do you think I have PND?", "does it look like I'm a bad mum", "how could I not enjoy it", "these first few weeks are a rite of passage, they're not meant to be that enjoyable." Really, I think that ANY questions, no matter, how well-meaning are bound to be a minefield.
I think they would mean is she a settled and happy baby :) All of mine were, good sleepers, rarely cried. But then my friends babies cry a lot and don't sleep much and to me that would be a nightmare! So yeah I think they would mean good sleepers and settled/happy.
Doesn't bother me, but then mine were all 'good' babies and I loved to brag about it :lol: When I was pregnant with Ashton I used to say he would be the hard one, the screamer, because the other 2 were so easy.
My answer was always 'Nope, he's awful, but they forgot to tell me that you void the warranty when you take them out of the packaging, so we're stuck with him now'.
This one does annoy me especially if it is from someone that I know just wants to score and compare your mothering. I once read that babies who are considered 'fussy and difficult' in the first few days (by their mums) are usually still considered that at 6 weeks despite no scientific difference in their behaviour than other bubs. I do really try not to label and if a mum does it about their own kid when I am around I try to reassure them that their kid is normal (of course if they want to brag then I let them - who am I to argue! lol). I tend to either make a nice comment (isn't she/he gorgeous) or ask a general question (so how is everything going?).
My top 5 responses to this:
1: She can eat, sh** and cry so yep, pretty good.
2: No, she's been in 3 bar fights and she's only a month old!
3: I don't know, we're gonna fatten her up more before we try her.
4: Not as good as gin!
5: Yes. Are you a good woman/man/adult?
Bx
Yep they are good kids, they let me know what they need when they need it, and like to spend time with me ;)
argh i always get this question and depending on the type of day or night that i have had will determine what answer they get!
my memory (of having a nb) is being asked over and over "how long does she sleep at night?" - it felt such a competitive question at the time. Like, depending on the number i said, whether i'd passed a test or not.
my child slept for two hours at a time, so i always felt i failed this "test". but that's when she was hungry and needed changing. so if that's what she needed, that's what she needed.
I especially didn't like being told that if i put her on formula, that would be the magic bullet, she would sleep, i would sleep. Yeh, but she wouldn't be breastfed then. My choice was to breastfeed, i quickly found out, most people didn't approve of me breastfeeding - hang on, this is MY baby, i have made my own choice and am actually very happy with that, thank you very much.
i did feel an emotional distance from people who had bubs who slept all night, didn't feel they understood what i was going thru, why i didn't leave home to go to playgroups etc - cos i was too shattered to get to a 9am playgroup (plus i had post birth health complications from a c-section that went wrong).
:rofl: ohhh thats a good one!:
I generally say to them "Nope she's pure evil" and smile. People usually laugh, but older people get quite upset and run away. When I said it to MIL she just looked at me, and looked at DD1 and looked at me again trying to work out what I was saying... eventually she realised it was my sick sense of humour...
I used to feel like a 'failure' too, for that very reason- if I admitted he was a 'bad' baby who didn't sleep all that much, then did that make me a 'bad' mummy? If I had a dollar for everytime I said "i'm bf'ing", only to be met with a roll of the eyes and "well, one bottle before bed would fix that problem".....:
It's a stupid question that makes good mums feel like they're being tested and I LOATHE it when people ask me that. Like because your baby sleeps through the night that makes you a great mum? Well no, actually, it just makes your baby a good sleeper!
As a nb, DS left a lot to be desired in the sleep stakes. He was a breastfed baby and slept well at night, was always settled no crying etc so to me,that was good. Did he sleep through the night? No. Nor did I expect him to!!!
Next time I'm just going to tell people to shove it! LOL!!
I think the amount of babies that actually sleep right through is minimal ... so the sleeping thing is just stupid.
Ashton STILL wakes 3 or 4 times most nights for a feed, but I don't expect him to sleep through. Who would?
I remember Lulu's response to this from a while back:
Well, she hasn't crashed the car or been dragged home by the cops yet, so she's okay.
Being now obsessed with correcting misinformation on how babies are 'supposed' to behave I would say: What do you mean by that?
God I hate this question!!! :wall:
Ad is getting sick of it too, and recently said " nup, she's a complete biarch, you want her?" :lol:
Would I go back 6 times if babies were "bad?" ;)
I used to say all babies are good, but some are unhappy, mine is happy most of the time.