OK, so just to make things clear I do NOT want advice on whether DSD moving out is a good idea or not. DP and I have discussed it at length and have decided that if she wants to give it a shot then we will not stand in her way but will make it clear to her that we will always have room for her at home if things don't work out. We actually think that she needs to give it a shot and it may be best for her to learn a bit about taking responsibility in terms of having a job, paying bills, renting a place.
So, my question is more around how feasible will it be for her to rent a place? I don't like her chances. The Melbourne rental market is notoriously tight and I can't see an agent renting a place to a 17yo with no work history (she's currently trying to find a job). I don't think she will get Centrelink payments because a)we're not actually kicking her out and b)we earn too much so she would still be seen as our responsibility.
I haven't spoken to her directly as yet but I'm thinking her best chance would be in a shared house rather than taking on a lease in her name.
For others with teenagers who've moved out, where did they end up living and how difficult was it for them to find a place?
I would say a share house would be the best option. Then she can see someone else wants her do her bit not just you guys IYKWIM. I agree her chances of getting a rental by herself are pretty slim.
Yeah - she can't sign a lease until she's 18.
She can always try sharing. It usually works out a bit cheaper but still also gives her the responsibility of budgeting, living on her own etc. I was the same age when I first moved out and it was one of the best experiences to do it this way as it made me look at the bigger picture.
Sorry, I forgot an important bit - she's looking at two bedroom apartments with a 19yo friend of hers who's a hairdresser. But hairdressers don't earn that much and 2br units around her are at least $300pw so I don't think her friend could just take the lease on in her name. Their other option, I guess, is to rent a 1br place with just the hairdresser's name on the lease.
But yep, I think a shared house is the most likely option.
So they definitely want to share a place together then? Perhaps they could both find share accommodation together somewhere? I can't see it working out if they share a 1br place for obvious reasons having to share with strangers helps a lot with the responsibility too because they wont take your crap like someone who knows you will kwim?
No way known would she be able to afford it on her own in her current situation, let alone get a look in with the agents in the first place. Her best bet would be shared accommodation for sure. I was 19 when I first moved out of home and it was into share accommodation. I think it was good for me as opposed to being on my own right away because I was still able to have that independence, but it wasn't 100% my responsibility kwim? All the bills were shared so it made it more affordable and after 8 months I was ready to move out on my own and confident enough to handle all the bills myself etc.
My DD moved out at 16 to live with her boyfriends and his parents, but that didn't work out and they found a private rental. It's a totally unique situation though, the house is next to his Grandparents and hadn't been lived in for 10 years. The owner has the land as an investment, as it's in an industrial area, so they actually went to him and asked if they could rent it. They don't have a lease and the rent is only $70 a week. She always seems to land on her feet! I don;t give her any financial assistance, but our situation is different as she ran away from home.
If you are considering giving DSD financial help, maybe only do it as long as she continues her schooling, and only help her out with school fees/stuff for school etc... If she wants to play grown-ups she needs to be able to stand on her own two feet and BE a grown up.
Back in the old days when I was 17 I moved out of home into my own rental place.
I didn't share, I was dealing with the difficult fall-out of a dreadful family situation and desperately wanted my own space. To qualify for rent assistance and a higher level of Austudy (can't remember what it was) I had to fill out a stat dec with my reasons for no longer living at home. I only moved about 10 mins away from my family home. I concede that was so long ago that no doubt the last ice age may have seen some changes come in since.
I got a flat through a friend. Her parents owned two units and she rented one, I rented the other. After six months I moved in with a different friend and that was a disaster. You don't need anything fancy on your own, and after several failed attempts at sharing I ended up renting a granny flat - best decision ever! Not too $$ but I had my own space and no more flatmate dramas.
I never had any trouble getting a place, my first rental was through a RE agent, even though my friend smoothed the way for me. If you rent privately (like a granny flat) you'd have even more leeway. The important thing would be to have good refs and be able to prove you can afford it. If a landlord is going to be ultra-picky, they probably aren't worth renting from anyway.
Moving out at 17 was a great decision for me, not just because of my family issues, but in terms of giving me space to grow, managing my own life and really becoming an adult. If she knows you are there to support her I think she's got a great safety net and she'll probably do much better. GL!
Last edited by Jennifer13; May 10th, 2010 at 02:42 PM.
PZ, there are different reasons and classifications. The forms don't always give all the information as it's assessed individually. It's not reasonable to be supported by the govt just because you don't want to live under your parents rules iykwim?
The school can come into it because it is unreasonable to travel so far to continue education - this part is important for the country students that need to leave home to get be closer to Uni/TAFE etc. Or if your parents move away from your school.
There are grounds if there are family issues - but in this case SDD just wants to be independent and is not being asked to leave home. Income more than likely will affect all this anyway.
If she does leave without a job - Fi let her know Clink will HASSLE THE CRAP out of her to look for a job/go to the job centre etc etc etc.
Oh okay, thanks Lulu I was under the impression that DSD was causing a few problems/stress to the family etc, but I may be mixing this up with someone else on the forum And yep, Clink WILL hassel the crap out of her, my brother is a 'job seeker' and it is not fun! More worthwhile just getting an actual job IMO haha.
Last edited by PumpkinZulu; May 10th, 2010 at 03:04 PM.
: meant to say 'job' not 'jon' lol
Yep, I'm not sure that the 90 min thing will apply - her current school will be 90 mins away from where we're moving to but obviously there's other local schools that she can go to - just that she doesn't want to transfer. At this stage she SAYS she wants to finish VCE but her grades and attendance don't support that, so she may get kicked out anyway. She always seems to 'get' that it's important to carry on at school, do as well as you can, you'll have more options that way - we'v been telling her that for three years and she says all the right things. But she skips classes, doesn't do homework, fails every subject and still believes she will get into uni. There's only so many pep talks/punishments you can give - she needs to learn the hard way that actions (or in this case inaction) have consequences.
Yep, I'll make sure she knows about Centrelink hassling her - I mean, she'll NEED a job anyway to pay rent, buy stuff so that will be a good incentive in itself. And, as I said before, a much better incentive than if she failed school, was living with us and it was just us telling her she needed to get out of bed and get a job.
Just to clarify PZ - I've certainly posted a few vents about DSD but it's fairly mild stuff in the whole scheme of things. I've kind of withdrawn from the situation a little and am not putting in much effort with her. There's a whole lot of reasons for this and without bogging down this thread, the bottom line is that there are no real arguments, the atmosphere in the house could be better but it's certainly civil and probably a whole lot better than in a lot of houses. So room for improvement but definitely not a crisis situation.
Yep, they do Lulu. Unfortunately, as the stepmum I always feel like I should leave the school side of things to DP (who is very hit and miss). I've just asked him AGAIN to arrange a talk with her coordinator to see where we're at in terms of attendance/finishing VCE/other options. I've actually been suggesting the VCAL thing for the last 12 months.
Good to know. It would probably be more beneficial for her to be working anyway, to pay her own way completely. Like Lulu said VCAL is a good option that gets them out there learning some really good skills/trades that can be applied in real life, and they leave qualified do do a lot of courses.
17yo DSD Wants Rental Place - How Feasible?
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having to share with strangers helps a lot with the responsibility too because they wont take your crap like someone who knows you will kwim?
I was under the impression that DSD was causing a few problems/stress to the family etc, but I may be mixing this up with someone else on the forum 
And yep, Clink WILL hassel the crap out of her, my brother is a 'job seeker' and it is not fun! More worthwhile just getting an actual job IMO haha.
Good to know. It would probably be more beneficial for her to be working anyway, to pay her own way completely. Like Lulu said VCAL is a good option that gets them out there learning some really good skills/trades that can be applied in real life, and they leave qualified do do a lot of courses.
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