I know what you mean DIanne, it IS really scary. You have to give them a little bit of freedom but there's a lot of crossed fingers that they won't do something really dumb.

I've had the chat with DSD who's a bit older and who I know drinks - she claims she drinks very sensibly and I've seen no evidence to the contrary and she's only allowed to stay out overnight if DP has spoken to the parents so we know that there's some supervision.

Anyhow, I've told her that I would prefer she didn't drink (she's nearly 17) but that she should never, ever get into a car with someone who has. If that means that she phones me from woop woop unable to get home and I pay a big cab fare, then so be it, that's what she has to do. I've told her that she should never be too embarrassed to make the call, even if she's drunk - I won't be happy if she's drunk but far more preferable to her getting in a car.

She seemed to take it on board and has phoned me saying that she couldn't get home - I said, no probs and paid the cab fare.