Two of her classmates pulled her pants down twice each. DD didn't tell me anything, she came out before her sister and one of the boys mums brought her son over to apologize to DD, which I really appreciated her doing. I presumed there would have been a note in DD's diary so took it out and nothing. Do you think an incident like this warrants letting the parents know what happened to their child? TIA.
The mum said the teacher pulled her aside and let her know. I asked DD if she told her teacher and she did, so I feel assured that the boys were at least spoken to about inappropriate behaviour. It just would have been nice to at least read a note about the incident.
Yes, I would expect to be told. I would not 'be waiting to see if I am told' I would be asking first thing if they could explain the incident to you and what has happened since.
However, if I am reading correctly, you weren't in an area where the teacher was able to get to you. The teacher still has an obligation to make sure all other children leave their care safely, rather than track down a parent not in the immediate vicinity to them.
Whilst i agree things could've been handled better, I think you need to approach then.
If your DD was in my class and I knew you were at the school somewhere I would have tried to seek you out to talk to you about it in person as opposed to writing it in a diary (mainly so I can answer any questions straight away as things aren't always 100% clear in writing). If I couldn't see you in person I would have made a phone call for the same reasons I just mentioned.
As an aside, I'd also question the confidentiality side of things. Did the teacher actually say to this parent that it was your DD this happened to or did her son tell her? I would never mention other people involved in a particular incident. I'd say that your child and another pulled a girls pants down but not mention any names.....
My DD was involved in a similar incident at school & I had a phone call immediately from the teacher. To be fair it wasn't clear exactly what had happened or whether there were any other elements of assault involved but the teacher I spoke to was horrified & the school took the whole thing very seriously.
So yes, I would expect to be notified. Immediately. By phone. And I would expect the children involved to be excluded from class until it was clear exactly what happened and until my DD felt safe for them to rejoin it.
Last edited by AnyDream; December 9th, 2013 at 08:06 PM.
I couldn't take DD5 in myself this morning as DD12 has Yr7 orientation but I'll be entering the Infant building when I pick her up this afternoon. As far as the teacher seeking me out in the grounds if she really wanted to let me know she would have found me. The school is very small, 210 students, parents either wait at the back or front playground and yesterday I was there for a good 10min after the bell waiting for DD12 to come out. Thank you ladies for your validation, I will speak to her teacher and ask her why I wasn't notified and I will also let the principle know.
I'd be pressing to meet with the teacher about it. And i would be inclined to approach the admin desk and ask to speak to the prinicipal re: the correct procedures for such incidents and why they were not followed (which it sounds like they were not).
Not good, I approached the teacher and she told me that DD's pants were tugged at and not pulled down. I told her that DD told me everyone saw her underwear, so to me that indicates they were pulled down far enough. She also told me that if they were pulled down she would have contacted me. I said to her that if it warranted speaking to the boys mothers I should have also been notified. The principal was not in today so I'll be going in tomorrow morning and letting her know of my concerns. I've totally had it with this school, I rang another school which is just up the road, will be making an appointment to have DD enrolled next year.
Definitely chat to the principal if you feel the teacher hasn't addressed your concerns or responded to the incident appropriately.
I will admit I feel less outraged now I know it was her outer pants. I interpreted pants to mean knickers, which IMO would be more serious & warrant immediate contact. However it's still not ok to have heard about via another parent first, and there needs to be more communication around what response the school/teacher has taken in relation to the disrespect shown to your DD's personal space.
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DD5 had her pants pulled down.
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