Sorry you feel like people are criticising, I don't think that is the case, just people trying to explain the way the system works.

As a primary teacher I would not be contacting parents if a child was 6 mths behind where they need to be, especially as kids can be making really great progress, be happy, positive and enthusiastic, and not "struggling" but just happen to be behind a benchmark that is set by government. I also expect all parents to attend pt interviews which doesn't happen all the time so maybe I am unreasonable in that expectation.