Gigi - feel free to PM me re your safety concerns / issues anytime hun.
You've done the right thing, and yeah - Lu would kick your butt for thinking otherwise
xoxox
Gigi - feel free to PM me re your safety concerns / issues anytime hun.
You've done the right thing, and yeah - Lu would kick your butt for thinking otherwise
xoxox
My sister and my friend are both single mums on CL and both pay $230 per week rent. It is doable. Housing trust will pay your bond and first weeks rent for you if you ring them and ask.
Please, please, please stop beating yourself up, you have done the right thing and it will work out and get easier xxxxxxx
See what the financial councillor says, but I think with careful planning and budgeting that you could do it from what everyone else has said.
Another thing to consider for saving money is (and you might be doing this already) - op shopping. Some places have some really great stuff, near new in many cases for so much less than brand new.
Huge :hug: I don't have any great financial advice for you (I wish I did) but I couldn't read this and not post. You are making the best of a crappy circumstance. That in no way make you foolish. It's tough what you are doing and lots of people would take the easy option, but not necessarily the healthiest. You are doing the best you can for your and your bilby -- that is what makes you a great parent, making the most of your circumstances and putting your precious baby first. You really have to make the best choice of a pile of less than ideal choices. You are amazing and you have a lot more strength than you realise. Don't beat yourself up. :hug::
Gigi.. you can do it. I am in a similar situation, I'm single, I have a baby and I rent privately. I pay $190 rent a week for a 2 bedroom house in a nice area and still have at least $80 left over each week from centrelink payments which I put into savings. I also get the baby bonus which I have not needed to touch, it gets transferred automatically to a savings account.
You just need to save where you can, which I'm sure you do anyway. If you want some tips,here are some of the things I do.. hopefully even one thing will help:
use cloth nappies (mainly terry squares), and cloth wipes. I bought a flannelette sheet from an op-shop and cut it up to use as wipes
use soap nuts in the washing machine to save $$
don't buy expensive cleaners etc, I use vinegar instead
op-shopping as daniellabella above suggests.. I go every week, and buy 4 pieces of baby clothing for $1.. they always have stuff in good condition. Also good for kitchenware, toys etc
don't buy pre-prepared food.. I make everything, biscuits, muffins, it takes time but saves so much money
buy things when they are on special
use the library to borrow dvd's. It's free.
I choose to rent close to shops, doctors, library, everything I need is in walking distance, or a very cheap taxi ride if it's raining. This means I don't need a car, so no petrol, insurance, maintenance costs. No unexpected expenses like flat tyres etc either, and I get lots of exercise.
I don't have a proper backyard, just a small paved area so I grow vegies in containers (yoghurt containers, polystyrene boxes free from the fruit shop etc)
I make toys out of whatever can be used.
There's lots of ways to save, just have to think outside the square a bit. I'm sure you can do it. The only thing I'd think about if I were you is if you can survive without a car. Perhaps try to rent close to town or close to a bus stop, it's amazing how much cars actually cost to run.
I hope things work out for you :hug:
Hunni, You are not Foolish and stupid. You followed your heart and that is okay, that doesnt make you foolish or stupid. You are very smart, you know how i know? Because you had a problem in your r'ship, and you took control, you have used so much courage and strength and you are making a better life for you and bilby, that shows me a very smart, couragous, woman right there.... xoxoxox I have faith in you xoxox:
Gigi, I havent read all the replies but thought I'd give you some advice from my personal experience....
You will be able to do it but it will be tough, at least until you get into a bit of a routine & know your budget properly.
Approach St Vinnies. I know in Forster NSW they have 2 bedroom fully furnished townhouses for families who need them. You pay $250 a week & they put aside $50 of that & save it so when the time comes for you to move out you have saved $50 a week.... a big help & savings you normally couldnt manage (well I couldnt!)
Dept of housing can help with bond & 1 or 2 weeks rent so you can move straight in (they paid my bond (4 weeks rent) plus 2 weeks rent in advance a year ago when I needed a place asap) Go in & see them, see how they can help you.
With moving costs approach St Vinnies, Salvation Army & life line..... they paid the majority of my $1800 moving cost in Dec just gone, I was only out of pocket $350 in the end, if your moving costs are cheaper (mine was interstate which is why it was so high) they may be able to cover the whole lot for you?
Freecycle is great, join your local area one online (google freecycle) & people give away so many different things, you can ask for things aswell, just make sure you "offer" something first before asking for something.
Dont be affraid to ask for help & accept help. Everyone needs a helping hand at some stage (well most people anyway!)
Please dont go back to your X simply because you think you're not doing a good enough job on your own. Believe in yourself, you've taken the biggest step by actually leaving, you will regret it if you go back for that reason (I did in 2006, if it weren't for me having DS in that time I was back I would totally have regretted it)
You are doing a great job..... really you are!!
Good luck hun xoxo
Gigi, I havent read all the replies but thought I'd give you some advice from my personal experience....
You will be able to do it but it will be tough, at least until you get into a bit of a routine & know your budget properly.
Approach St Vinnies. I know in Forster NSW they have 2 bedroom fully furnished townhouses for families who need them. You pay $250 a week & they put aside $50 of that & save it so when the time comes for you to move out you have saved $50 a week.... a big help & savings you normally couldnt manage (well I couldnt!)
Dept of housing can help with bond & 1 or 2 weeks rent so you can move straight in (they paid my bond (4 weeks rent) plus 2 weeks rent in advance a year ago when I needed a place asap) Go in & see them, see how they can help you.
With moving costs approach St Vinnies, Salvation Army & life line..... they paid the majority of my $1800 moving cost in Dec just gone, I was only out of pocket $350 in the end, if your moving costs are cheaper (mine was interstate which is why it was so high) they may be able to cover the whole lot for you?
Freecycle is great, join your local area one online (google freecycle) & people give away so many different things, you can ask for things aswell, just make sure you "offer" something first before asking for something.
Dont be affraid to ask for help & accept help. Everyone needs a helping hand at some stage (well most people anyway!)
Please dont go back to your X simply because you think you're not doing a good enough job on your own. Believe in yourself, you've taken the biggest step by actually leaving, you will regret it if you go back for that reason (I did in 2006, if it weren't for me having DS in that time I was back I would totally have regretted it)
You are doing a great job..... really you are!!
Good luck hun xoxo
Gigi, I wish you were in WA so I could help you.
I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time :(
wow, thanks for all the replies.
I am doing some of the moneysaving ideas already (opshopping, i repair clothing by handsewing, freecycle, ebay, gumtree, stock up on basics when they are on special. No cable tv, don't hire dvd's, ). Before i left X, i was a big library user, but since leaving X, i have been too upset/busy/unable to concentrate to read a novel. when things improve, i'll go back to the library (wherever we're living).
Planning to do some vegie growing in styrofoam boxes, buying the potting soil has put me off ($$$). the soil here is rubbish, needs alot of organic matter to get it "happy" again. I've transformed awful dead soils, to healthy black loam full of worms - but it takes me about three years to do it (constantly adding organic matter, sheet mulching). i could do that here, but i don't think me and bilby will be here in three years time. i really hope we aren't. the foundries in this neighbourhood spew out so much air pollution, i'm not sure vegies would grow that happily here anyhoo. First place i've lived where i'm so reliant on eyedrops (my eyes are irritated by the air pollution, just walking from back door to get in my car).
I have felt too upset/overwhelmed to get into the baking of muffins etc, but when life goes more smoothly, that is the sort of thing i start doing again - on a small scale compared to how you are doing it Bec293.
Meal planning is an area that interests me (healthy, economical), but for many reasons, i don't understand the nuts and bolts of how to make it happen. My supermarket shopping is haphazard which i know is bad, and i read that people who do the meal planning for real, do very planned supermarket shops - and thereby shop wisely. i feel so lost about the whole "meal planning" stuff.
i'm doing one of the worst things multiple times per week, bilby is such a fussy eater, i feel like she holds me to ransom every single mealtime, and in desperation i give her individual quiches from the Coles deli section ($2.60 each) a few times per week. if i'm lucky, she will eat half. She refuses to eat my home made versions (i and other adults eat this happily, mine are actually edible). So that's prepared food i buy her on a regular basis, so i know she is actually eating a meal for a change, and it's got eggs, cheese etc. i feel guilty each time, not knowing what else i can do. Bribery doesn't work, she just is not interested in food.
When i was looking for somewhere to live, one of my criteria was to live close to public transport, near to services e.g GP, shops,etc - to save petrol, have a plan b if my car died/i could no longer afford to run a car. Where i am now, i am two blocks from a bus that goes into the city (i have no need to go into the city). but no public transport to get to bilby's childcare, future school, her GP, her dad's etc. I can walk to a very exxy supermarket (type of shop that is more like a 7day deli price wise, rather than an everyday place to shop. Such a small range, no clearance racks like the bigger supermarkets have). but once i get in my car and drive 10 mins away, the supermarkets are so much better, cheaper and have more stuff on sale, marked down etc. i think it sucks that a supermarket in a low socio economic area, is actually dearer, than supermarkets in a slightly better economic area.
Once i get the budget details back, i will not be surprised, if my car expenses aren't the biggest part of the budget.
Last year when i asked HT for help with paying bond (for private rental) they told me they wouldn't unless i found rent that was 35% or under, of my income. and because $250 rent per week is more than 50%, then they woudln't help me. There is only one guy on the counter at Modbury, maybe i should try other HT offices, to see if i get a different answer.
the thing is, i could see their point. If i get a rental, that is 50% of my income, well rents go up much more than CL income does. so i thought to myself, yeh, they might be trying to save me, from being on a rent that's eventually 70% of my income or something drastic like that.
Bec, i might PM you about where you can get decent accom for $190, cos i'd love to know about that. When i was shopping for accomodation, looking at the private rent ads everyday, often teh cheapest rents were in areas i knew nothing about. So hard to make big decisions, based on zero info.
Today, i re-did bilby's curtain, bought a 2m curtain rod, more rings, so i could make it look nicer. I'm sure it was purely psychological, but after i had rehung the (opshop) curtains, it did look nicer and she was happy when she saw it. I NEED to know i'm making things better for her, in SOME way. Her window is not big, i know she doesn't like having so little light in her room, and i'm always nervous cos the window is so close to the footpath, and i'm terrified of some drugcrazed idiot carrying on when she's in the room awake. I've been so lucky, so far, she's either been asleep, at x's, or at childcare when it's happened. i don't expect that luck to hold out forever.
i also fear men from the hostels, looking in her window, when she's getting changed, or running around just in a fairy skirt, cos she's 4 and thinks just wearing a fairy skirt is a fun thing to do when it's hot. I have a lace curtain at the window, but sometimes she puts the main light on. (in the day). she is so trusting, i can't tell her WHY i'm so scared. She would run out to the letterbox just in her undies if i let her, she has no idea, let alone, about the drugged up people who are around us literally on our corner. i am scared for her to be outside in the front yard. If she is singing and carrying on near the gate when i'm trying to get us in the car to go out, i'm scared people walking past will hear her, i don' twant the druggies to know there is a child living here.
i'[m so glad she wasn't here to see the broken bottle after NYE thrown inside our gate, i'm so glad she wasn't here to see the two druggies menacing me, demanding a car ride to the nearest chemist, to get their "done". I'm so glad she wasn'[t here to see the guys thump my auntie's car roof (with us inside). I'm so glad she is a heavy sleeper, when the screaming and fighting goes on outisde our windows, so close to where we are.
i'm on high alert, she picks up on my anxiety. she talks of "the bad men" and "the naughty people". She was upset by the gang tags on our gate and fence a few days ago.
i find it hard to put on a brave face, pretend everything is fine, when i have to see X (pickup and dropoffs).
SHe is so happy and relieved to go there (he is not on high alert, it is safe there, she is allowed to go to the front letterbox there, no-one can see in her bedroom window, she has lots of light.
i think i need to do some research
- discover if HT WILL do the bond and first two week's rent thing (or knock me back, if weekly rent is over 35% of my income)
- discover the criteria and how Rent Relief is worked out. So i can make valid calculations.
- start stalking the RE websites/pages again.
- work thru my fear of "how will i move again so quickly, when i've just spent heaps on moving, trying to make this new place liveable/safe etc". it takes money to move, to set up somewhere else again." Most of the money i've spent here, will have to stay here (for benefit of the next tenant).
- work this out THIS year, before bilby starts school NEXT year. i want her settled, in routine. And the thought of moving somewhere i don't know, makes me feel anxious. i cheated with this move, cos it's only a few minutes from where i was, although it feels like a world away in some ways. but a short car ride and i am at my usual shops/services. so that made it less scary.
GiGi just wanted to send lots of :hug: and good luck vibes your way. You are being such a fantastic mum to your little Bilby trying to get her a better place. I hope HT comes through for you in the end.
Was also going to suggest that you could go into real estates and let them know what you are looking for and to keep you in mind if something comes on the market within your price range. you sound like a fantastic tenant and any landlord would be lucky to have you. Also check out gum tree and places like that for people that are renting out under their homes / private rentals, you might be able to get into a better area for the same rental price.
Do you have any family and friends that could help you move? That always makes it so much cheaper, or even hiring a trailer from a petrol station.
Look forward to hearing about your new adventures this year :)
thanks so much UsPlus2.
i don't have a towbar on my car, and apparently my car is not strong enough to tow stuff anyhoo. I'd love to hire a "move yourself" trailer if i could. Maybe i will look into hiring a "move yourself truck" - see how much they cost. but the lifting of heavy and tall furniture on and off the truck, that still is an issue. My "family" is one elderly auntie.
i think i am an ok tenant, but have nothing on paper to prove that. i've never been in arrears, have never lost a bond, never caused damage etc etc.
rental market is so competitive, but i'll give your ideas a whirl anyhoo.
thanks again
Gigi
Sweets, check with the Salvation Army, up here they have a truck and will move you, if you qualify. So no moving cost!!!
I wished you lived closer, I would certainly put you and Bilby up till you found somewhere... xoxoxoxo
just wanted to say your doing a great job with the situation you are in!!! and your trying to make it better, dont judge yourself so harshly!! your little one will thank you in the long run for all you are doing for her and for your self. things will get better! have confidence and be proud that you were brave enough to make a very hard change rather than just staying put casue it was easier!!! big big hugs.
If you let us Adelaide BB girls know when you move we might be able to help shift stuff for you (or con partners in to help shift some of the heavy stuff somehow)
Yeah, Gigi, I have a big hefty man who *loves* to help people, he has an inexhaustible source of physical stamina AND a trailer AND car with a towbar...he will even turn up wearing his kidney-belt from the gym, just so he can lift a few things that are too heavy for everybody else :rofl:. Seriously hun, whatever we can do to help. Consider this the beginnings of a working-party. :hug:
You're kidding, really? wow. that is so kind of you to offer. far out. i didn't post my post hinting, it was just what i was thinking out aloud. (blocks to me moving).
i find it so hard to trust that things will work out. i find it hard to trust full stop.
very humbling to log on and find these messages.