Hi ladies,
Ok so my SIL has recently split up from her partner of 5 years. My husband was told by his mother just a couple of days ago as the sister is in the state at the moment. Her and the partner split briefly just after my husband and I got married 3 years ago. After they were told we were expecting our first child they got back together. We weren't allowed to tell her (instruction from MIL) that we were pregnant sooner because it would upset her too much because she wanted a baby before us. Within 2 weeks she was in the state again telling us how madly in love they were and how there would be an engagement announcement by the end of the year. I must say as a female I always say through this "happy happy joy joy"facade and it was really obvious it was all talk and all her. On the very very rare occasion he came he it was sad how distant he was to her. Anyway cut a long story short they chose to have a baby and he was born last April, they announced their engagement 2 weeks before announcing they were 8 week pregnant. My husband was happy with this that she was settling down as she has always been a little wayward.
Now, before the little baby has even had his first birthday she and the partner are splitting up.
Here si my dilemma, her and I are not close. Not by the furthest stetch of the imagination would you even consider us friends. So I do refer to her son as my husbands nephew, not mine. My husband I must say in theory takes his role as uncle quite seriously when we talk about it. He now has this sense of responsibility he feels to this child that if they move back to the state he will need some proper guidence because his sister is so unstable. I very gently explained that as beautiful that it is that he wants to help his nephew, he already has a father irrecpective of his geographical locale to them he still has a father and a loving one at that. Also he cannot question his sisters parenting (as she has done ours) despite us thinking she's a couple of sandwiches short. Thats not his place.

In my selfish world I don't think it would be good for our marriage if my husband was off being part time father to his sister son when I am left at home with our girls. Not that I don't think he has enough love to share around however I'm just not comfortable with it.
I know the sister would love for DH to have a heap to do with her son, however on his own, or just with our eldest. Our eldest looks like there family so there seems to be a clear obsession on that front, whereas our youngest is less like my husband and more like my family and the care factor on her could not be any lower.
I mean we are dealing with a very strange and mixed up family here but I cannot help but worry about the repercussions on her time spent with my husband and what she wants from him.

Thanks girls

X