It's Over! :(

I've only just read this but big hugs to you firstly. Your XP and mine sound very alike we were always competing against mates and mates always won. Now DD hasn't seen him for 2 years (we broke up 4 years ago) and hes now saying thats ok as he has 2 other daughters now and doesnt need our DD. It is def hard to hear things like that as im sure you are learning with these phone convos.
Im glad his parents are supporting you they must feel very dissappointed in him. Stay strong if not for you for your children, it is very hard seperating but i think when you've felt like a single parent for some time its much easier, from my experience anyway!
Good luck with your future hun, it may seem like the end of the world atm as this is the man you planned on spending the rest of your life with but one day your prince charming will sweep you off your feet

Sounds like your xdp is offering to take you on a guilt trip... glad to hear you have other plans.

Have fun tonight with your friends, but today call centrelink, CSA and legal aid as when the csa assessment comes in and his drinking money is slugged, you may need it.

:hug: Next week, find someone to watch your son and another person to be your support partner for the birth of your baby. Focus your energy on you and your babies and what you need to do. With every thing you achieve without him, the more confident you will feel in your own abilities.

:hug: I wish I was closer to you to give you some help if you needed it - but you can feel free to PM me if you need - my XP was a ***** like yours, it's a long story, but I've been down a similar road.

:

---

Sounds like your xdp is offering to take you on a guilt trip... glad to hear you have other plans.

Have fun tonight with your friends, but today call centrelink, CSA and legal aid as when the csa assessment comes in and his drinking money is slugged, you may need it.

:hug: Next week, find someone to watch your son and another person to be your support partner for the birth of your baby. Focus your energy on you and your babies and what you need to do. With every thing you achieve without him, the more confident you will feel in your own abilities.

---

haaa! i wont be on that trip trust me! i've jumped off the bus! ;)
i have called centrelink and i have a meeting with them on monday morning to work out changed situations, money etc... i have been doing lots of calling around this morning, i am really not looking forward to his reaction on the whole "child support" thing!
i am so clueless at where to start with it all! i never imagined being single not even 6mths in! is there a different % for different wages or how does it work? :rolleyes:

as for my birth partner i asked his mum if she would like to as she is a nurse and she missed out on DS as she had a mild stroke a couple of months before! she didnt really know what to say i dont think she just cried till the waiter offered her some napkins!
My mum is set up to look after Oscar when it all happens and she will come up after its all gone down! as for my dr/ midwife appoitments and U/S ive decided i want to do these alone as i want to use it as kind of like bonding if you could call it that! Mum and MIL will take turns in minding Oscar depending on there working hrs.

LizJessie- Thanks :) you and all the rest of the lovely ladies have given me hope and so much support. See i really should be thanking XDP for leading me to you ladies.

OH and it felt so great taking him out of my SIG and deleting my FB!!

starting monday my sister is coming to spend a few days with me as she lives a couple of hrs away she was supposed to be my maid of honour, she and i will be ringing to cancel all things wedding :(
ive paid sooo many deposits feels just like dead money!

just wanted to stop by and give you some hugs brooke. you're making the right decision for your babies and i'm so glad you've got the support of both the grandmas to help you.

im so sorry its taken me this long to actually reply.
i havent been on the net for days, my pc is broked :(

You are such a strong and amazing woman. I wish i could be half as brave as you xxx
You are a fantastic mummy, and you are so much better off without XP
:hug:

I think you are being amazingly strong through all this, I am glad his mum is being so supportive and that you have your mum too.

Hugs, you know BB is always here for you.

I cannot read this without posting,

First of all I am truly sorry for the sad series of events that you are going through, your ex seems like a world class douchebag and I am gobsmacked that a father could abandon his family in such a way.

If he was my mate I would have told him this and would probably end my friendship with him. You know for sure that he has told his mates a different version of the story where you look like the bad guy.

Personally I would ask him what he would like the story to be when his kids are older. Eventually your kids are going to be old enough to understand what it means to break up and how they happen. If I was this bloke I would want to be able to look my son in the eye and tell him that I had tried as hard as I could...

Along with looking into centrelink and CSA etc... make sure you see a lawyer if you have any joint assets like a Car or savings fund. You will need this stuff more than than he will. Furthermore, get all his crap out of the house and change the locks ASAP, take it to his Mums or something, there is still a legal recourse for him to claim tenancy in the property and make it hard to remove him if he wants to step up his douchebaggery...

Be strong, nobody really wins in these situations and you can only do so much. I hope that you come out the other side stronger and happier than you went in

How is everything going Brooke ?

Meh... everything is going alright! i havent really talked to him as he went out drinking friday night, went to a festival saturday and surprise surprise went out drinking again sunday! :wall: i have been finding it REALLY hard to sleep atm i have just to much running through my mind.

My sister arrived today to help me start cancelling wedding plans as we were supposed to be getting married in october :(
My XMIL has asked what will be happening with the Oscar as far as sam seeing him etc..
i just simply told her that im willing to sit down with them and work out suitible times for sam to have him, (even though im 100% positive he wont stick to his words) something will come up blah blah blah!
ive told her that im happy to let oscar go for play dates with her and FIL but i said im not ready to leave him overnight just yet. as for XDP i have no idea what my rights are with Oscar, i realise that sam is Oscars dad but i really dont want to leave him with him! he is living with his single mate all they do is drink. i just wouldnt be able to sleep not knowing if his being looked after IYKWIM. :rolleyes:

So far its been his mum making arrangements as to collecting his stuff. ive sent him the text saying that im changing locks as of next weekend if his stuff isnt gone then he will have to re arrange another time at my will to collect it!
his mum has asked about Oscars arrangements etc... as far as his concerned there has been nothing from him!

as one of the ladies stated before about assets etc.. im not to worried as majority of our things are MINE like my car i brought myself the only thing really that belongs to "us" is our furniture in our house and if he really wants it he can have it! ;)

:hug: it's great you have brilliant ILs
As I said before, feel free to PM me any time you need

lizjessie- i cant pm you! your inbox is full :(

I've followed this thread quietly, but I have to say Brooke - I find you incredibly inspirational.

No worries Brooke, I'm just bout to clean it out

I am so sorry my love... :hug:

:hugs: I have to admit, I've been there myself, the whole drinking, competing with mates and a RANGE of other immature things.

DD and I DID it on our own for many years - you too can do it :)

I do not receive any child supprt from him - to the both of us, he does not exist. DD doesnt ask about him, doesnt talk about him. We are happy and have been much happier without the garbage (just like what ur going through) I am lucky in one perspective tho - he is not in the country. Life would most definately be diffucult if he was.

And FYI - I am now with someone who treats both of us well and works WITH me rather than against me :)

You too will have that one day! But for now, make small goals for yourself to get through your tough times.

I wish you and ur bubba's all the best and I hope ur XP doesnt hassle you too much or give grief

Thanks ladies. Trust me i wouldnt be so great if i didnt have great people to talk to (all you ladies) about it!
i recieved a text off him last night about 12.20am asking if i wanted him there for my 20 week scan! i didnt reply 1.because it was 12.20am. 2. because simply i have NO idea!
i msgd him back this morning saying that at this point of time i think it would be easier if we were not in eachothers presence.
I've also told him through text msg if he wishes to see DS that it will have to be at his mums house and nowhere else! i didnt get a reply so im guessing his not to fussed bout visits!

naenae- dw im not to worried on the finding a new man just yet hehe. plus im 15 weeks pregnant dont really think tht would go down to well with the superficial men of the goldcoast!!
PLUS look at my lil man (updated pic on the ticker) ill never find a lil guy as perfect!!

lol, sorry bout that! I didn't mean that you'd rush, just wanted to let you know there are sweet men out there and you will one day have someone that will love and support you the way you should be :-) i know it can be tough doing it on your own but it is possible! and if you need to chat feel free to pm me :-) i look back now and feel proud of myself and it made me realise just how strong i am! You too will have that feeling when you look back :-)