newly seperated

[widdly]

Hi guys, just after some single mum support and love.

Last week DH and I decided to seperate, but with the view to reconciling in the future, however since I have experienced the single parent life, I am loving it so much, and my feeling toward DH seem to have changed dramatically!

We have been best friends for 7 years, and weathered many a storm together, but no matter what we always stuck together, and thought we always would. I really feel a bit claustraphobic in our relationship though. I haven't earnt money for 3 years now, and as much as he thinks and I thought he was very generous and always told me it was 'our' money not 'his', when it comes down to it, he always gets the last say cause its his money. I really feel like the wifey in the background of his awesome life.

gotta go, DH is here, will be back for some more details

[AliBaby]

Widdly, I admire you for being so strong and thinking of yourself hun I am glad you are enjoying this time and working out who you are, building up your self esteem and enjoying life without the stress that your relationship was causing. It might be what you both need. I am sure he will soon relaise what he has lost but stay strong. have a great Christmas break and look forwad to hearing some more from you.

[mrsmac]

Oh Elissa I am so sorry to hear about this. Is Archie OK?

[~shazz~]

holy moley Ellissa you ok hun you i'm a shoulder if you need me you are very brave and i admire your strength to think of you for a change ( if only i could do the same )

[MantaRay]

It sounds like you are adjusting well to the changes. I am sorry that you are going through this. It will be pretty tough but I feel sure you will manage well. I wish I could be of more help.

[widdly]

oh gosh, thankyou so so much guys, it makes me feel so much less alone to read your posts x

DH and I had a huge talk and I blubbered away for an hour trying to get him to understand where im coming from (poor thing, he is just a mere male after all lol), inthe end I did get my points accross. Thing is when I decided to move away by myself for a while, i thought that we would still kiss and cuddle and shag, so basically we would still act the same way toward each other, but we would have our own space for a while. What he thought I said was that I didn't want him in my life any more, I want to move on to better things!! Glad I cleared that up, thats why he has ben so cold and distant over the last couple of weeks.

So we are still seperated, but we still absolutely love each other, he understands that the only way our relationship can keep working is if I feel like an equal in the relationship, so that means I need to get out on my own and have my own finances and my own car and my own self, then when we come back together sometime in the next couple of years, we will keep money, bank accounts, bills seperate and go halvies, that way I can feel we are equal.

I dont know if any of this will make any sense to any of you, as I have spent the last 3 days crying and not sleeping.......

thanks again, atm I really need the support of all of the wonderful ladies in here xx

Christine - Archie is perfectly fine, there have been no fights or anything between DH and I, im sure he feels some stress from me, but he seems his normal little self.

[Isadora]

Whatever it takes I say. Hope you can one day sort out the issues between you both. In the meantime, its great that you have kept arguments etc away from your son.

[C~Q]

Wow your story sounds so much like mine! I also thought we would get back together till we seperated and I realised that being by myself was so much better than being together.

My only advice is to try and remember how you are feeling now as over the next few months you will go through so many different emotions and situations. I've found things are so up and down and round and and inside out and backwards!

I hope you both make it, if thats what you want. And i'm so glad things are amicable for you.

Good luck hun, take care x

[widdly]

combat queen - its great to here from someone who has been in such a similar situation. I am glad that things worked out well for you, even though you didn't get back together. dh and I are both looking forward to living seperately even though we can't imagine not loving each other and not ever getting back together. You know I can imagine us staying together but living in sepderate houses for ever! Thankyou for letting me know that if we do decide to go our seperate ways life wont end for me

[~Kim~]

Oh Elissa, I had no idea.
You sound to strong and positive, I hope ot goes the way you need. :hugs:
Consequently when I got my break last year (different circimstances but by necessesity for both of us), it was just what we needed.

[widdly]

thanks Kim. i do remember you having your break and loving your alone time with Darcy and wondering whether you would rather live like that always. Its great to hear that the break worked well for you guys, it gives me hope that my world isn't going to completely change.