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Username:RainbowBrite
Real name:Lisa
Number of children:7 (4 from 1st marriage 3 from 2nd)
Separated since:10 Jan 2010
Care arrangements?:He has taken the younger girls for the night but not the bub yet. My 1st XH passed away 4 mths ago so it is just me.
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: That it is just me and 7 kids.
General comments: We have separated and he has just got his own place but I am hoping that by separating we may actually be able to be back together one day.
Username: Dreamrise
Real name: Lori
Number of children: 1 - 14yr old girl (and 1 on the way)
Seperated since: July 1996 (when 16 weeks pregnant with number 1. Got pregnant with number 2 via IVF with donor sperm)
Care arrangements: Fulltime sole custody. 14yr old has never met her father and obviously bub number 2 will only have that option when he/she is 18 and can meet the donor.
Biggest Challenge: Being open to the possibility of a proper relationship... I'm so used to being a single mum it's become part of my identity that I am very proud of and whilst I'm not sure I want it to be any different sometimes I worry about being too stuck in my ways and maybe a partner at some stage in the future might be nice!
General comments: My 14yr old is amazing and whilst she wasn't planned I wouldn't change a thing. Bub number 2 took four years in the making after lots of soul searching about how another child might impact on my relationship with my daughter. Finally just before she turned 10 I decided we were both ready - never expected it to take this long to concieve but I'm now almost 11 weeks pregnant and my daughter is being a great help when I'm feeling really sick or tired etc. Hopefully she and bub will become friends when they are both adults as I know they won't have a traditional sibling relationship given the huge age difference.
I have worked and studied throughout my daughter's life and tried to give her a really positive role model that being a parent doesn't mean giving up your dreams. We now live on our own beautiful farm which she loves (though the morgage payments are a constant source of stress when work dries up or interest rates increase).
I havent been on here for a while, but as life brings recent changes I find myself looking for other single mums for advice and support...
Username: Keen
Real name: Keen
Number of children: Twin 3.5 year old girls
Seperated since: Feb 2011 (officially)
Care arrangements: every 2nd wkend with dad
Biggest Challenge: Figuring out that I deserve to be happy too
General comments:
Oh Keen, I'm sorry to hear that things are different for you now. I've also been a single Mummy - since October 2006. You're absolutely right - YOU need to be happy too.
Please feel free to PM me if you need anything. We also have a Single Parents Private Support Group that you can apply for through your settings.
All the best.
Thought I'd reintroduce myself in here, havent been around much for a while, was with out a computer for a long time.
Username: Widdly
Real name: Elissa
Number of children: 1 5yr old boy
Seperated since: March 2010, divorced June 2011
Care arrangements: 3 nights a fortnight with Dad
Biggest Challenge: Dealing with XH now living with my Xfriend
General comments: Absolutely loving life now. Have never been this happy and confident ever. Single life rocks my world!
Ooh so glad I found this thread :)
Username:~Kirsten~
Real name:Kirsten
Number of children: 2 yr old little boy, one on the way..
Separated since: n/a
Care arrangements?:living with me full time
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: money, time to myself, dealing with him on my own..
General comments: I been a single mum for awhile now.. My son father done a runner and have not heard from him for 3 years.. Baby no.2 I'm hoping the father will stick around..
Hi everyone!
Username: nurseymum
Real name: Kristie
No of children: x1, gorgeous 4yr old DD
Separated since: always :(
Care arrangements: with me full time
Biggest challenge: Dealing with the "where's my daddy questions" that are just starting to come - they make my heart hurt :(
General: Wondering why I didn't get on here earlier, such a great place to vent/empathise/sympathise and be supported, always up for a chat :D
Hi Nurserymum,
Don't worry about your daugther suddenly questioning about her "daddy". It seems common around 4 - 5 years of age for kids who don't have any contact with their father, but they do get over it. My daughter went through it when she was in prep (5 years old). She is now a very passionate campaigner for children without dads - trying to educate teachers and others to the fact that not every kid has a Dad and "there is nothing wrong with that"!
She is 14 years old now and has no interest in meeting her father. We seperated when I was 16 weeks pregnant with her and she has never met him. I am now pregnant with my 2nd child through an anon donor (IVF) so this child will have no opportunity to meet their father until they are atleast 18. Hopefully if they have any problems/issues with this my daughter's confidence will help them.
Best wishes
Lori
DD - 14
Bub due 28th Aug.
Here I am..
Username: emc2
Real name: Emma
No. of children: one - 11 week old boy
Separated since: Never lived together, split when bubs was about 2 or 3 weeks old
Care arrangements: With myself, his Dad visits here three times a week, Nanna (my Mum) takes him one day a week
Biggest challenge: Dealing with his Dad's verbal abuse that is on and off
General: I thought that I would probably be a single Mum, when I discovered that I was pregnant. It's been exhausting trying to plan for all contingencies during the pregnancy. I've always lived alone though so in some ways I guess it's been less of an upheaval. Making a lot of decisions isn't new to me, but I'm disappointed I don't have that live in sounding board I suppose. Also there's not many photos of bubs and me together (as I would like), just of bubby doing things on his own.
Username: JBug
Real name: J
Number of children: 1 DD who is almost seven
Separated since: January 2003 -- a few weeks after we found out I was pregnant
Care arrangements?: I have sole legal and physical custody, however he has recently begun weekly visits (2.25 hours a week).
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: Being everything.
General comments: My ex decided that he really did not want another child a few weeks after I found out I was pregnant. We separated immediately, and he did not meet my daughter until she was 26 months old. There were a few visits over the next two years, then no contact from him for two years. When she was almost 6 1/2 he went to court seeking visitation, and has been granted one visit a week.
Username: redrobinridinghood
Real name: Fiona
No. of children: one - 2 years old
Separated since: today (Valentines Day how romantic!!!)
Care arrangements: He hasn't left yet. Still working it out. He will move out eventually but it is amicable so no rush yet. Want DS to get used to idea.
Biggest challenge: Attachment parenting through separation!!! Is it possible???
General: Feeling excited at the same time as sad. It is a relief now that DH and I have finally acknowledged what we have denied for years. I really think things will be better now.
Username: Rooey5
Real name: Helen
Number of children: 1 - almost 2.5 year old
Seperated since: April 2012
Care arrangements: At the moment I have DS full time. The ex is playing games, have my individual mediation session on Monday :(
Biggest Challenge: Learning that I was not responsible for his abusive treatment of me, and learning to cope with the continued attempts at abuse and control.
General comments: I'm so glad that BB exists! I'm growing stronger by the day, but I haven't heard from him in over a month so I may crumble to pieces again when he finally does rear his head. Just trying to be the best mum I can be to my boy and do what's best for him.
Username: bubno.3 im 42
Name (just in case not telling)
No. of children: 3 ds 12 ds 4 ds 2 (nearly in oct)
Seperation: married 2 yrs together 4 April 2011 officially i shouldve told him to leave when i was told i had an affair a few weeks after the wedding... and 2 yrs to the day i took the kids and left!
Care: we do 50 50 now (only so i can work) and the ds12 his dad/oma have him when the two little ones spend the week with their dad.
Challenges: mentally getting through the first 12 months with the harrassement and continuing abuse....
18 months later : he has moved on and become a dad again and he is still being passively aggressive but it goes in ear and out the other plus i have thick skin now which he hates ..The big thing was the money but that is sorting itself out now we do the 50 care
Im loving my life now im happy although i found who my friends were and sad to say my bridesmaids werent true friends.
general comment : love bb my saving grace my sanity my friend :)
Username:elcee2006
Real name:elcee2006
Number of children:2. DD 9yo, DS 6yo
Separated since:since pregnant, but officially nov 2011
Care arrangements?:kids full time with me
Biggest challenge as a single parent?:i dont know how to fix car, i dont know how to assemble push bike and I can not be a father (thaaa).
General comments: He left me n kids to another woman and he got lots debts which left me anothre debt bcos the prop settlement that i got bills from lowyer i mean lawyer/soli****tor! I dont have best friends or close friends that i can talk to, only neighbour and friend that they have their own friends and close relatives :( n I dont have any relatives in here too.
my kids and I hate weekends, public hols, school hols, new years eve, new year and evrything that not working days.....*sigh*
Please anyone PM me....
Username: Pandora
Number of children: 2
Separated since: Dec 2011
Care arrangements?: 50/50
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: Dealing with his manipulation of my kids and his ongoing passive aggressive behaviour.
General comments: My kids are still quite young and having a hard time getting their heads around what his happening, especially as he has manipulated the situation from the beginning. When we were separated under the same roof he had DS1 sleep in the spare room with him til it got the the point he coulddle sleep alona nd when XH moved out and we went to a 50/50 care arrangement it was very sad/difficult to get him sleeping in his own room again.
Username : DarkDreamer
Number of kids : 2
Separated since : July 2013
Care arrangements : 50/50
Biggest challenge as a single parent? : Nothing to do with the kids - but having to put up with his bullcrap
General comments : Don't really have anything else to add