Hi I am new to this thread. I'm in a situation I didn't want to happen and need some advice. My husband has some very serious depression and alcohol issues and I am at the end of my rope and just can't tolerate it anymore. My little girl is 5 1/2 months old and I know she is picking up on the tension in the house. There have been a few incidents he's caused over the last year and this has just tipped me over the edge. I have made the decision to leave with her but doing it is the scary part. I have no family here and the only option is a refuge. I work part time 5 days a week and have to put my daughter in daycare 3 of them, while husband looks after her the other 2. So far he has been fine with this and enjoys spending time with her. The issue is the lying about the drinking.
Anyhow, I am waffling, what I want to know is, if I find a place of my own after seperating, will I be entitled to single parent payment, and is it worth giving up my job in order to take care of my daughter full time? I have to weigh up what is more cost effective. It's all very overwhelming at the moment and I don't know the first place to start with arrangements.
Any advice or wisdom is welcomed via forum or PM. Thanks.
long answer short - yes, if you seperate and get a place of your own - or are living in a refuge, you will be eligible to apply for single parent payments. your best option is to call FAO tomorrow (136150) - they'll go through the logistics of it all with you including letting you know what you'll be eligible for in terms of payments in line with your work or if you decide not to work. they will go through your obligations to receive payments at the highest rates for a single parent, including talking to you about child support obligations. they can also get you contact numbers to speak with the family relationships advice line (when you're ready) to arrange mediation for access to your DD for her dad.
i'm really sorry you're going through this - as i suggested, the best thing is to call and talk it through - don't hang up until you have all the info you need.
something to keep in mind - it CAN take up to a fortnight from the day you apply until your payment is processed - so it might be a bit of a struggle financially until this is done - so make sure you have essentials to last you a while (nappies etc) or be prepared to swallow some humble pie and approach charities for assistance with these things. it's not easy branching out on your own, and it's possible (and probable) that if you leave, you leave with NOTHING, so keep it all in mind. if you think your partner will be reasonable and divide things equally it's not biggie
in the mean time while you decide - get copies of bank statements etc showing how much joint finances you have. make sure you have a bank account in your OWN name that he has no access too. make a note of everything in the house in terms of what was his before you started living together, what was yours, and what you have obtained together - if he DOES turn nasty, you have a list you can work off
Thinking of leaving.... what next?
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