How to keep your mind busy??

[Sus]

Hi
We lost our baby last Tuesday at 10wks 5dys. It really is hard to think that this time last week we were looking at bigger cars, all happy after a wonderful mothers day. My family had planned to come over from the UK to be here for the birth and to help out afterwards(we have 2 other little boys)and now its all changed just like that!
I really wish I knew if it was a boy or a girl so we could think of either her or him, what do you do...go with your instinct of what you thought it was or what? We dont even have a scan of the baby, all we have is pregnancy test stick!
I know that if its going to happen its better for it to happen early on and that we are still young enough to to have plenty more and all that kind of thing you get told. I think as the days are going on I'm feeling worse rather than better about it. My husband has gone back to work today and I really don't think I can get through today with out him here to keep my mind off it all.
I wish I knew where the baby was and if it was safe and being looked after. Last Monday night just before we were about to turn off the TV I had the strangest feeling that everything was just not right and what and where I was I didn't recognize even my husband seemed different...we just put it down to being tired, but maybe it was something to do with the baby or maybe I'm just going mad!!! The week before I had a lovely dream that a family member was hugging me and said everything was going to be fine and that yes it was a girl......we did think this was a nice sign that all was going to work out and that maybe we may end up with a baby girl(which I had thought it was). I just hope that the dream meant the baby was going to be in good hands.
Sorry if I seem a little can short of a six pack, I am normally very normal.

Love
Sus xx

[ellen21]

I know you are going through a rough time .............just try to divert your mind in other activities i know its difficult but its not the end................loads off hugs for you and my heart and mind wishes are with you take care girl