This is a bit of a tricky one, and I know the answer is probably not going to be the one I want to hear, but I'll put it out there anyway.
DH is his 16-year-old BIL's legal guardian (their mum died and dad is in prison), and since their mum died in August last year BIL has been living with us and claiming Youth Allowance, classed as 'independent'.
The arrangement was made on the basis that he could be treated as an adult and be responsible for his own money (he has worked part-time since he was 13 so we thought he could be trusted to act responsibly as he's had control over his own small paycheck for the last few years), and paid us $50 a week 'rent' which is designed to cover things like food, power, and general living expenses (phone bill is extra and he knows this, and sometimes pays his share when I work it out when the bill arrives).
But, since August, we have been lucky to get $50 once a month, if that. He eats all the food, uses a lot of power, SOMETIMES pays his share of the phone bill (but then seems to act like 'Oh I just paid you $80, I don't have to pay 'rent' for a month now'), and DH and I are going mad broke without his input.
We don't think we're being unreasonable - he gets just under $400 a fortnight, and we're asking for a small fraction of that to cover HIS expenses, not to go out and buy ourselves new clothes or video games, kwim? We are not asking for money to make a profit from him, but to keep our own heads above water.
DH has paid all of BIL's school fees, uniforms etc since the start of this year, not that BIL has bothered showing up to school - he was accepted into ATC (a pre-apprenticeship program) and DH paid the $700+ fees out of our savings, BIL hasn't paid us back OR done a full week of school since January.
So my question regarding Centrelink is, is there a way that we can change the bank account that BIL's YA gets paid into? I know a lot of parents who have kids receiving YA or similar payments get them paid to the parent rather than the child, so the parent can actually spend the money on school stuff or necessities like food, bills etc - I know it's probably a bit late now, but can we go and get BIL's money paid to DH instead, as his guardian, so that DH can use the money to pay whatever BIL owes and then give him the rest of his money to spend as he sees fit?
It's just getting so frustrating. The new baby is due any old minute now and BIL does stupid things like leaving the fridge door open overnight, laying to waste nearly $100 worth of groceries - which I will now have to pay for out of my own pocket, despite the fact that HE ruined them and HE will still go ahead and eat all the 'good' stuff when I replace it.
We can't tell him to leave, and we can't leave (the house is all tied up in god knows what manner of legal issues so we're all stuck here), but something has to happen, and the best thing I can think of is for BIL to lose control over his own money in favour of DH looking after it, so that whatever NEEDS to be used for bills, can be used for bills, and BIL can have whatever's left to go and get drunk with his mates or do whatever, we don't care.
We don't want to try to rip him off or anything like that, we just want some fairness back in this house, kwim??
If it is possible to change the arrangement at this stage, how do we go about it? What will need to be done in order to change it? Does BIL have to agree to it or can we just go ahead and get it done because he is a minor and under our care, or does Centrelink see him as an adult and allow him to say 'no' to this (because I know he will, he LOVES having $200 a week to blow in the space of two days on whatever the hell he likes, with nobody keeping track of it, he won't like being told he has to give up control of 'his' money)?
If he is classed as independent prob getting more money than if he was dependent on you guys. So by you saying he will dependent on you (by you guys taking control of his money) you might end up with less money.
What about sitting down with the two of them, agreeing to the money he has to put in, and getting it transferred automatically from his bank on pay day. He would have to agree, but it might stop you having to chase him for the money because it comes out before he sees it IYKWIM.
^ Lol Kate, at this point I don't care if he gets less money, as long as he can't get anywhere near it until DH and I have taken what we need, kwim?? If that means he goes from having $100 to blow on s***, down to $50, that's not my problem, you know? He has been given chance after chance after chance to act like an adult and be responsible, he obviously can't, and if he has to pay for that, then so be it.
You make a good point though about trying to arrange a direct debit thing - I doubt he will agree to it but I will talk to DH about it at lunch and see if he thinks it might work (I don't like my chances but it's worth a try).
Thanks
If he cant function as "independant", then maybe there is a way to have him reclassed as "dependant"?
I would also be laying the law down, hard. He is almost of adult legal age, and he has no idea how to pay his own way. Not a good thing. If it were me, He would be locked out of fridge, cupbourd, phone, hot water etc till he paid his rent. He has to learn the neccecities come first, or he has a very hard road ahead of him.
once he has been designated as independent it's damn hard to have that reversed. all he has to do is dispute your claims via a social worker. he has no "parental" person that is responsible for him - and i doubt anything would change the circumstances. sorry hun - it's going to be a case of sitting him down and saying "this is how it's going to happen" and not letting him get away with it. if he isn't paying his share, have something drawn up showing his rising debt. don't shrug it off, don't let DH shrug it off.
it's not going to be easy
ooh, you CAN report that he's not attending full time study as he has agreed to and he can be put on notice that if he doesn't he may lose his youth allowance or have to become a job seeker - he won't like it and may actually pull his head out and do something...
I would be telling him that you will be making a claim on the estate for the costs of providing for him unless he changes straight away and pays his own way.
I don't think there is any Centrelink advice I can give you - BG is the expert so she would know all there is to know
I just wanted to say I think you are being incredibly generous with only expecting $50 a week. I would imagine a 16yo boy would eat that in about 2 to 3 days.
The only thing that I can suggest is that you tell him that he is responsible for all his own food and meals now. Even consider putting a padlock on your fridge and tell him to get his own. It is extreme, but sometimes we have to take extreme measures. If he is getting $400 a fortnight and has no other expenses, then maybe he needs to learn that it does cost money to eat. Not really sure what you can do about the electricity side of things, but I think that he needs to see what a good wicket he is on. I think that it is sad that he doesn't have 'parents' to care for him as most 16yo do, but most 16yo don't get given $400 a fn free and clear to spend on what they like, unless they get a job and earn it.
Just a suggestion. I think you and your DH sound like incredibly generous people and it is sad that your BIL is taking advantage of that. I hope you can work something out.
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Youth Allowance question
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