I have an almost 2-year-old DD and a 16-year-old DSD and the only problem we have is sleep. The teenager's sleep that is.
Her bedroom is next to the living room and at the moment, there is no door between the living room and the hallway. To get to the other bedrooms and bathroom you have to walk past DSD's room (up a wooden ie. noisy hallway).
So you can imagine on the weekends, when DD is up at 7.30am, this is a bit of a problem. I try my best to keep her in the living room and not running up and down the hallway but I think for my own sanity I'm just going to have to stop being so considerate because it seriously does my head in when DSD is in bed till 11am and I'm still trying to pad around the house to avoid waking her. I should also explain that DP is a shiftworker so often isn't around on the weekend so there's just me looking after DD a lot of the time AND DP often has a day nap during the week so I spend an awful lot of time feeling like a prisoner in my own house to avoid waking people up.
Now DSD is lovely so I don't mind being quiet for a bit. I remember what it was like to be a teenager and to savour those weekend lie-ins.
It's really me who stresses myself out trying to be quiet and DP says I should just stop worrying and get on with what I want to do but until she's up, I just don't feel right about clattering around the house.
I think the best way to go might be to say, "OK, once it turns x-am, then I'm going to start my morning properly which means washing dishes, letting DD run up the hallway if she wants to and basically just live normally."
Oooh Fiona... I don't know if it's just me but boy are you nice!
We will be in this situation in a couple of years...so ask me again then ... but I cannot imagine tiptoeing around all morning. My feeling would be, if your DSD wants to lie in till 11 that's fine but not at the expense of everyone elses' comfort.
IMO it's worth keeping in mind that other people live there too. If it's causing discomfort to them you or DD to keep it down for that amount of time, a compromise would seem fair.
You sound as though you get along well with your DSD.. maybe you could talk to her & find a time that suits you both, for things to stay quiet until then, say 9am?..after that she would have to make do & sleep if she can but without an expectation of quiet?
(I don't know how your 2yo DD copes with keeping the noise down lol....in fact how do you manage that?)
I have a DD13 (14 in 11days!) & the littlest being 20 months. I don't do any fancy padding around, however she sleeps like a log and will sleep through anything!
I think your idea is spot on. Maybe from 8.30 it's all systems go... That's fair and part of being in a family is compromise... You sound like a gorgeous step Mama to your daughter...
I have a 15yr old and a pre teen (almost 12) and a 2yr old and to be honest, if they want to sleep in, they'd better get used to the noise. I am a noisy person by nature anyway so I guess my kids are used to noise now.
I think your plan for letting your DSD know what time you will be starting your mornings is a great idea, that way if there is noise, she should already expect it.
My nearly 15yo DD has two younger, very noisy, brothers aged 2 and 5. But she doesn't tend to sleep in for that long... 9.30am at the latest, on weekends. But often the boys will rise before 7 so on the weekends she just deals with it I guess... like another person mentioned: she seems to sleep like a log. Her bedroom is off our foyer... then it's only a few steps into our lounge-room. Our house has wooden floor boards throughout, except the bedrooms too. I often get up early myself and head out (usually to the city) of a weekend so if there are any dramas i guess i miss them! LOL I suspect what happens is that the boys wake up... wander out to the lounge... or wake DD who then gets up, puts on Thomas The tank Engine for them... then she makes use of the time that I am not there to make norty breakfast like French toast saturated in maple syrup etc (which apparently she often feeds the boys too)... Dh seems to often get a sleep in. Everyone is alive when i get back mid afternoon... so life goes on LOL
You are very considerate... we seem to have a way of working around our boys noise I guess... to a large extent.... and DD knows well all the strategies of getting them to keep quiet herself. She has to if she wants a bit of peace and quiet on the laptop before Dad gets up!
Last edited by Bathsheba; June 1st, 2009 at 10:33 PM.
Thanks everyone for confirming my feelings that I just have to bite the bullet and get on with it. I just can't seem to bring myself to make noise when DSD is in bed. It just feels so rude and inconsiderate but it stresses me out immensely not to be able to do the things I need/want to do. I still have a knot in my stomach from this morning when DSD was in bed with the flu. I know, I know, I know ... it's silly.
Really, the solution as with all things in life is to talk to her and set a time. That way everyone's clear on what's happening.
Oh, and we'll be getting a door soon.
Thanks again for convincing me that life has to go on, noise or no noise.
You really are lovely. And it shows that you show your daughter the respect you would want if you were her and given the respect she obviously shows you (which is awesome). I think just have a friendly chat with her, explain your concerns that you don't want to wake her, and that you know what its like to be a teenager to sleep but you do have to get stuff done in the morning. And I have no doubt in my mind she'll love you for your honesty and she'll probably tell you not to worry and the last thing she'd want is to put you out... She sounds like a good kid so I'm sure it will be fine, just keep the lines of communication open (especially for the little things like this) and it will only come back to you 10 fold
I just go about my morning.. Angie sleeps through it all anyway. Same when its the other way round. Harry sleeps through whatever they throw up on school mornings.
Yeah, mine will sleep through almost anything too... the vacuum cleaner, DH trying to muster up help in the garden, my 5yo yelling at my 2yo to stop being a baby just meters from her door.... but strangely the sound of fluffy pancakes being served onto warmed plates seems to rouse her every time
I have two teenage step sons (15 and 16 years) and two little ones (4 years and 2 3/4 years) with a third on the way.
The 2 step sons and DS`s #1 and #2 all sleep in the same room (we`re in a 2 bedroom house), the DSS`s learn to sleep through their younger brothers waking up and making a lot of noise in the house, there is no way DH and I will tiptoe around the place just so DSS`s can sleep but they sleep through the noise anyway.
Fiona - I think there's a very easy (and cheap solution) to this issue:
EAR PLUGS.
Seriously. You provide the earplugs, and she then has a choice to apply them when she wants to sleep. Or not. You are then empowered to make whatever noise you like with impunity.
Question For People With Toddler and Teenager
Reply With Quote... but I cannot imagine tiptoeing around all morning. My feeling would be, if your DSD wants to lie in till 11 that's fine but not at the expense of everyone elses' comfort.
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