Ideal gap between bubs?

[Sterla]

I know there was a thread about this a little while ago, but I'm not sure where it is.

Just recently I have been starting to think about when would be the best time to have another bub. I'd assume that having them close together would be harder, but perhaps nicer for the kids growing up? What have your experiences been? Is it better/easier/harder to have a smaller or larger gap between bubs?

[danniellabella]

I'm starting to think about this as well as DD is now 16 months old. I think we're planning on a fairly big gap but haven't set anything in concrete. I know that I'm not ready for another one yet though. For us we are just going to wait until we are BOTH ready and/or when we have saved a bit of money.

[hj1981]

Hmmm im wondering the same! so this thread could be interesting! sometimes i think it would be great for them to be close together but other days (most days) i would like to wait until Miss B is atleast 2 before another one comes along!
However in saying that - DH is under the impression that it will happen when it happens oh gosh!!!
Are u trying????

[Sterla]

No, not yet. Some days I think maybe we'll start trying when DS is 12 months, but other days I think I'd like to wait till he's 2.5-3 years... so hard to decide...

[csab]

hi there, I dont think there is really any ideal age gap between kids only because you may choose to fall pg with a small age gap but in all honesty what you plan may not happen as you plan it. It may take longer to have that much wanted bub, and it may be quicker than you expect. So if you feel you are ready to ttc than start, if not then wait. JMO. All the best.
Actually I think I need to clarify what I mean, as it may have come across the wrong way. I have my first 2 with an age gap of 4yrs, my reasoning for that was so that I could give each child the attention they deserved while babies, so had one almost ready to start school, was at preschool when the second one arrived. Then I thought ok, there is no way I would have another until the next one was at school, only because he was a handful. We then started to TTC when the second started school and fell pg, but m/c at 16wks, then again fell pg a few months later and m/c at 12wks, then we needed to wait for approx another 4-6mths before TTC again, which we then had our 3rd, age gap of 7 1/2yrs, then low and behold a precious surprise while BFing our 4th born 13mths to the day from the 3rd. So of course I nagged DH to TTC again while the 4th was still at home and the 3rd was ready to start school the following yr. Well plans did not happen the way I would have liked, as 2 m/cs later and a yr after TTC again, I finally found out I was UTD with No. 5. So now leaving an age gap of 5yrs to no. 4.

So there you have it, have experienced both ends of the scale and both have their advantages and disadvantages and again it may or may not work out to what you would like. No matter what happens tho, once that bub is on its way you will be blessed either way. hugs

[alicia]

We are at this stage too. DD is 19 months old now. We had never really planned on having our second too quickly after DD, at the moment our plan is to begin trying again around her 2nd birthday as we think a 3 year age gap might be better for us.

[Olive]

oringinally we thought we'd start trying when DD was 1 but i just wasnt ready! i was afew months later so i decided to wean DD at 18months as i didnt want to be pregnant and feeding but wanted to get to 18 months. we got pregnant the next month, my girls are 2yrs 3 months apart and i love the age gap! she's old enough to be in her own bed, shes just toilet trained, she can help me out etc..but the gap isnt too big IYKWIM!
but i only know this age difference, i know no difference!

[Erin_25]

I agree there is no ideal age gap & we can only comment on the one we have I guess. I would imagine it would be very hard close toghether but much better for them playing together & for you to continue with arvo naps etc. DS will be a couple months off 3 when we have our second, I like that he will be TT, is sleeping through & can communicate....but at the same time I can't sleep when bubs sleeps as he's dropping arvo nap already & will have to time naps etc around kindy pick ups & so on. I think once you have made the decision it will be what it will be.....

[hj1981]

i think i want Miss B too be at an age where she knows and kinda understands that mummy is pregnant so she can get excited about it as well and be mummy's little helper when bub comes along!

Do they understand that sort of thing at 2?????


(Sorry sterla for asking questions in ur thread )

[*LovemyKids*]

There is almost 3 years between my first and second and only 19months between the second and third. There was not alot of difference although i must say i am glad i had mine pretty close together. I personally was a middle child and my brother was 5 years old then me and my sister was 4 years younger then me and i always wished we were closer together. Its a personal choice i suppose and you will know when its the right time. Goodluck with the decision!!!

[Nelle]

Not sure there is one. If you have them further apart, then they can experience the pregnancy with you, and be a bit more independent, but if they're close together then they go through the same stages together.
I think it depends on the kind of child they are too - our #1 is laidback, so was an easy decision to fall pregnant at 9 months, whereas #2 isn't difficult but is more energetic, and at 16 months I'm still in no hurry to have another.

[MeganH]

I'd assume that having them close together would be harder, but perhaps nicer for the kids growing up?

IMO I think you answered your own question. I fell pregnant with DS when DD was only 5 months old.

YES, it was hard, but now it is sooooo good. They are still both very young, but they play together really well and they love each other so much. They also hate each other alot too LOL but I think that happens no matter what the age gap. It was scary having a baby when DD was so young but I believe now it was definitely the right thing to do.

I am due with baby number 3 very soon and this will be a slightly larger age gap so I will know what its like both ways very soon. I am sure they will both dote on their baby brother or sister and want to help alot (which may be a pain sometimes). They are both very excited about us having a baby.

[~Kim~]

i think i want Miss B too be at an age where she knows and kinda understands that mummy is pregnant so she can get excited about it as well and be mummy's little helper when bub comes along!

Do they understand that sort of thing at 2?????


(Sorry sterla for asking questions in ur thread )

Yep, there's 2y10m between my two - not by choice just took 2 years to fall. Darcy was fantastic, she even kept her 'brudda' a secret when we found out at 34 weeks. She named him too. She is the most fantasic little mother to him. He and I are both very lucky to have her.
She appreciates that he's needy of my time and is that little bit more independent.
I always wanted mine close, but for us the situation is just perfect.

[hj1981]

Awww Kim - Darcy sounds like a great big sister! thats what i want Miss B to be like!
I think we will definatly wait!

[danniellabella]

Kim that sounds lovely. I really want DD out of nappies before I have another one and I do want her to understand that I'm pregnant (when I'm pregnant) and what it will mean...though she did freak me out the other week when she patted my tummy and said "baby" at only 15.5 months old...I have no idea where she got that from and can assure you that there is no baby in there.