Weaning a 4 year old

[beckles]

OK i've had enough, this is the longest i have breastfed.... my other 2 were 2 and a half and almost 4. I have tried to discourage and distract but he is just loves bfing so much i don't think he will ever self wean. I find him attached at night when i am asleep. i find myself feeling cross (something i have never experienced whilst bfing). I don't want to feel angry when he wants to breastfeed. any suggestions? i feel like such a terrible mother feeling as i do.
beckles

[*charmalea*]

well done for Bf this long , that is wonderful , now you think its time to wean , have you tried telling him (nicely) thats its over ? maybe that hes a big boy now and weaning comes with being older - maybe a special toy/outing/whatever he likes to mark then end of BF ?

not talking bribery but just a special something to bring you to the end and mark and new point in his life , something that your able to take a pic of so it can be remembered by both of you ?

ive never BF for that long so i cant really put my self in your shoes but i hope you two come to an end of BF , making it a happy memorable time GL

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

No advice, just congratulations for going so long!

[~clover~]

A friend of mine fed her DS til he was 3 & she said weaning was hard. The only reason it happened at all was because she had to go away for 3 weeks. When she got back, she just said 'no more, boobs are gone' & he was fine with it.
You can't really just pack up & disappear for 3 weeks though can you.

You've done great! I'm starting to have those feelings already. Only coz we still feed like a NB!

Maybe just explain it to him. He has to be a big boy & big boys don't need booby anymore?? I'm not sure, sorry.

[beckles]

thanks gals, yeah i got dh to take a photo of his 'last' bf on the eve of his 4th birthday, we printed it out but he just doesn't get it. i might try the toy or something. it is never going to end.... well maybe by the time he's 8 and he has lost his suck reflex!!!!!!

[StrawberryMumma]

Hey hun, what an amazing woman you are! Can totally understand some of the feelings you have..

Haven't really got any great suggestions..but just wishing you all the best and hoping the weaning goes smoothly for you x

[Lulu]

Know how you feel. I had to be very very very firm with DD - no boobies, boobies are finished, tired, all done now.

4 months later she still says good morning boobies, I miss you boobies and like to stick her face in my chest

[Salsa]

4 months later she still says good morning boobies, I miss you boobies and like to stick her face in my chest

oh Lulu I sympathsis but that it so cute and funny

[beckles]

lulu, we have similar convos with boosy. "i love you boosy, your are my best friend.... mummy boosy needs a shower with my mouth..... oh boosy you are so cute...." and the list of conversations go on and on and on lol. i guess it's a little cute.

[River]

Oh Beck, you are amazing. I have admired you so much through the years, and this is just a testament to your motherhood dedication.

I'm not sure if I have any advice for you, I have not been in your position. Perhaps visit the Intuitive Parenting forum though, there are a few women there who have weaned at 4 or even 5 years old who might have advice for you.

*hugs* hun

[Janie]

Good to see you Beckles And well done! Please don't feel bad about your reaction. I totally understand what you're feeling, it's so tricky.

In the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers, she talks about making a book for your toddler (for various scenarios, including weaning). Showing a progression, with photos and writing, from babyhood, through to when they are old enough to not need booby anymore. You write the story in a way that you think will be best for your child, and then read it with them every day until they get the idea!

I'm sure there's more to it, I just can't remember it all. If you would like to give something like that a go I can get the book out and check up on it for you. I think she might have had some other ideas too.....

[Jennifer13]

Hun, I am so hearing your frustration and thinking this will be me in a few months time! When people jokingly tell me I'll need to go to school to bf her, now I think they're probably right!

We are down to 2 bfs a day, but that's been for 2 years! And if she could have more, she would.

I went to an ABA meeting a few months ago with other mums who'd BTDT and they made me feel much better. I can go out in the evening and DP can put her to bed without a bf, so they suggested I do that more often. One Mum also went away for 3 weeks with her DH and the kids stayed with grandparents. Her 4 yr old DS had to wean while she was gone and had lost the correct suck in that time. Plus, her milk had all but disappeared. I'm keeping this in the back of my mind for a convenient excuse to take a holiday if I get desperate!

How many bfs is your DS having? You could try cutting back to just one (say the evening one) and miss that one here and there by being out. See how he goes and ramp it up from there.

can I just say I really hear you on this one and I don't want to provoke the tantrums that I know will come if I try to wean completely now!

[Astrid]

Oh wow! Congrats on getting that far with feeding. You might remember I had a tough time with my first, it involved a lot of tears in the end and offering a bottle of milk. As much as I did not want to go with the bottle, it seemed to help. So no real advice here, other than I know how it feels to be angry about them wanting to keep on feeding.

[Ozziehoffy]

Beck, firstly WOW! That's an effort for sure. You've done a great job. Lol @ the conversations, they are cute. I fed Oskar only til 19 months cos I was pg and it just hurt too much so I just said enough was enough and it was tough for us for about a month transitioning from one thing to another to get to sleep. We're now on a cup of milk and books before bed. He sometimes now asks for it!! He started asking about a month or so before Elijah was born - he'd say "Ogga want pa" which is what he calls boobies...lol. It's so hard to not give it to them when they ask but it's even harder in some respects to give it to them... does that make sense? I would definitely have a good chat with him and I like the suggestion of the "story" cos he could help write that. I hope that it's not too hard to do. I understand wanting your body and self back.

[Gigi]

i'm bf-ing at the 2yr 7month mark and have been wondering how i will deal with this too.

have you asked a lactation consultant about it? or a breastfeeding counsellor from ABA?

[~Saram~]

Well done on making it to 4yrs - that is fantastic!

I weaned DD at 2 1/2 much to her disgust. SHe still askes every couple of days for boobies and stickes her hand down my shirt all the time but it has been about 2 mths now since she had a feed I think???

I ended up telling her they were broken and offered her something else she likes to eat or drink. Yep I admit at times I offered jellybeans over booby. Early mornings is the worst so she often has some warm milk (we do soy as DS is on soy) in a cup

[Visitor8]

good job! I read somewhere of a mother who put bandaids on her nipples and told the child it was ouchies so no more.