Any advice for someone with multiple miscarriages due to trisomies

[buliej]

Hi

I have had 3 m/c's in 11 months due to trisomies (chromosonal abnormalities). Both DH & I have been tested and the conclusion is that these are spontaneous trisomies (they have all been different chromosomes) due to age - meaning that we are not genetic carries of any chromosonal abnormality.

I get too few eggs for them to try growing to blast and doing PGD - my FS thinks the costs associated with this (both $ and risk of loss of a good embryo) outweigh the benefits for my situation.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Do you have any suggestions? I don't know how many times I can go through the process of getting a BFP - only to m/c after 5/6 weeks.

Thanks

[DaintreeDream]

I do not have any advise and I am so sorry that you have miscarried as a result of trisomies, my DD1 has a chromosome abnormalilty and my DD2 has a problem with her heart which they thought was linked to a trisomy, both of these mean a stay in NICU at birth and surgery as an newborn.
Both are random, not linked our genetics passing them on, I am 27 and DH 31 so we shouldn't be high risk, and no other cases in the family.
I know the feeling of not knowing if you will ever concieve a healthy baby and the constant worry even though I have been fortunate to carry to term (at least with DD1 so far).
I am sorry I do not have anything to offer I just hope that you are able to concieve your healthy baby soon.

[diannescruffy]

Hun, I am so sorry for your losses. I really hope and pray that one day you will be able to carry a child full term and get to hold them in your arms. Have you been told which Trisomy your babies had? Three years ago I had a baby with Trisomy 13 who was stillborn at 24wks but then went on to have a beautiful healthy little girl. I will keep you in my prayers and if you ever want to chat please feel free to PM me.

Regards,
Dianne
Emmanuel born sleeping 24wks
Trisomy 13

[buliej]

Thank you for your responses. I guess my fear is that because of my age, I have no hope of having an egg without a chomosomal abnormality. I'm not sure if statistically, 3 out of 3 indicates this or whether 3 out of 3 abnormal embryos is not that unusual at my age and that others have gone on to have a baby. I wish I could compare myself to someone younger who has had success but I really think that age is the defining factor of my situation.

[diannescruffy]

Hun there really is hope of your carrying a healthy child, many women have had healthy children in their 40's. I was 36 when I had Emmanuel who had Trisomy 13 then at 37 had a healthy child. Wishing you all the best.

Regards,
Dianne
Emmanuel born sleeping 24wks
Trisomy 13

[DaintreeDream]

I completely get where you are coming from and I hope that someone comes in that has a similar experience to you.

I understand what you mean in regards to the statistics and wanting to find out if the 3 out of 3 is a direct result of your age, I suppose I am in a different kind of boat where my babies have the abnormalities yet I am mean to have age on my side.

I really do wish you all the best in you TTC journey.

[buliej]

I think I'm coming from a pretty raw place as my latest loss was just confirmed yesterday - although I was certain of it for about a week.

I hope I didn't come off as dismissive of your respective journeys - although our struggles may be unique, I think the feelings, frustrations, joy, sadness and true appreciation for the miracle that babies are, are understood by everyone who posts in these threads. It helps so much to know that I am not alone - although I wish none of us needed to find this part of the forum to begin with - can you imagine a world where no one has anything to post in a Loss thread because there are no Losses - how wonderful that would be.

[DaintreeDream]

I could never even begin to imagine where you are coming from so please do not feel that you came across in that way.

May I just add that I have also had 3 losses, 2 at 12 weeks and 1 at 5 weeks, the reason is unknown as I did not investigate.

I am so sorry if I have made you feel any worse it was not my intention .

[buliej]

Daintree - of course you didn't make me feel worse - it was wonderful to get responses to my thread - I wasn't even sure what I was looking for when I posted it. I just feel at such a loss and a bit hopeless at the moment - I know these feelings will pass - the 3rd loss was just confirmed yesterday so I'm a bit all over the place at the moment.

[anney]

I totally understand where you are coming from with the miscarriages. when we really stopped trying it was a relief to know I did not have to go through that heartbreak again. The problem you have is that the only way to know whether you have a good egg in there is to keep on trying. I really think it is worth it for you as you do have a relatively good success rate with getting pregnant from transfers. There may be just one good one in there and you just have to find it.
I had a miscarriage at 38, our healthy DD at 40, and then 2 miscarriages after that (one being a very early loss of a natural pregnancy and then a miscarriage of an IVF baby at 10 weeks). Maybe we were lucky with DD and she was the only good egg in there but then again maybe if I had started IVF at 42 instead of 44, we would have hit another good egg. We will never know and you will never really know unless you keep trying I guess.
sorry, not much help but I totally get where you are coming from.

[buliej]

Anney - your post was very helpful. It made me cry but not in a bad way. As we will continue to try I need hope (but not false hope) which I am very low on at the moment and you gave me some real hope. Thank you.

[satya]

I think there could still be hope for you, but of course none of us can tell if there are any viable eggs left in there. I think that's the really hard bit about it... you just don't know.

I had three pregnancies in the space of a year at age 40/41. The first two miscarried at around 5 weeks & were not tested so I have no idea what the problem was. My gyno believed it was due to egg quality & other age factors. He told me the only way I would have a successful pregnancy at my age was to go on IVF.

Whilst waiting for a lap before heading towards IVF I fell pregnant again. I was quite paranoid that it wouldn't stick, but stick it did. I was quite paranoid that the bub would have a trisomy (1/37 risk), but the amnio showed he didn't. My lil man was born when I was 42.

I don't know if my story helps you at all, but I hope it does.

[buliej]

That is the hard bit - if someone said "there is one, but you will have to do this 10 times", that would make it better - it's just so hard to keep going while not knowing if there's any good eggs left. I truly never thought this would be so hard - I feel so silly for thinking, well, if we can't get pregnant on our own, there's always IVF - as if it is a guaranty...

[anney]

Yes, I can really relate to this too:
"there is one, but you will have to do this 10 times" - I always thought I could keep going if I just knew there would be success in the end.

[nanananny]

I agree with the last two posts