how do you all do it?

[Butterfly Child]

Ok im living with my parents at the moment as there's no way i could afford to rent etc at this point in time(being a 19 yr old single mum), also having their help and support has been a life saver i know.
I'm just really feeling i want and need to move out next year and rent a place (i need to feel like i can look after my DD and provide for her and look after her on my own etc as its getting to me abit) but i dont no exactly how to go about affording house equiptment, bond etc, ive saved atmost 3k and i will continue to save as much as i can this year and thought for xmas asking family instead of other gifts if it could be little bits n peices to help out for wen i move out, like cutlery,house stuff etc not anything astronomical,

I Guess i need some tips on how i can do this , and how i can afford to rent on $800 or so a fortnight on my own, how does everyone else do it?, i also want to study next year i just finished my hsc last year, (being 6mnths pregnant didnt stop me)but i dont see myself affording to do it now! i just want to make a great life for us, even though its been a really tough year i want to make the best life possible for my daughter and myself..

[Bathsheba]

Ok... thinking back: DH and I had a 'whoopsie baby' together and I wasn't working. We didn't have much other than a few personal possessions. We needed to buy everything from scratch and it was tough... we also had to find bond for rent. Then as my DD got older we decided to send her to a private school.... huge school fees.... plus i wanted to return to uni... pressure pressure! And then we wanted more children... and I also wanted to be a SAHM (have been for 6 years). So i am pretty used to scrimping and saving... these are my tips:

* Learn to love Op Shops. Live by the philosophy: "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or Do without!" I made a cross stitch sampler using this saying!

* Learn to cook from scratch. Convenience food is too expensive. Want a biccy? Don't buy them, make them... a batch of shortbread can cost about $2... for 3 times as many biscuits as you'd get in a box bought from the supermarket and MUCH yummier!

* Learn about keeping a house warm and cool without needing to spend a fortune on heating and air-con. Don't rent a hot box or a cold dungeon. Make sure it has good natural light so you aren't always turning on lights to see in the day. This is a big saver if you can get this right.

* Join the library. Maybe you can use the internet there for free?

* Learn to use public transport. I don't drive but manage to get me and my 3 kids around ok. We spend about $5 a week on petrol. My DH trains it to work. You will however need to buy a good pram and comfy walking shoes.

* Try to resist spending lots of $ on toys. Know that in even the best private Early Learning Centres (I worked in one) prefer to give the children natural things like smooth stones, sand, driftwood, seed pods etc for the kids to play with. They never bought expensive Fisher Price toys. You are not being a bad mum if your kids doesn't have the same toys as other kids. I regret spending too much on toys... but I don't regret buying open-ended good quality toys like Duplo/Lego. Less is more with toys!!!


If I can think of anything else I'll add

[Erin_25]

I agree with buying from op shops, it's amazing what some people don't want anymore....we don't need the best of everything.
As for toys etc, kids will play with anything, make your own or also get at the op shop. Lay by where possible.

Not only is making from scratch nicer & more affordable...you don't have all the nasty ingredients etc too. I'd rather make my own pizza than buy one from the shop that will cost $20 & not taste any good most times.

You can clean most things with stuff such as bi-carb & vinegar, no need to spend $$$ on bulk cleaning products.

One thing I do & I swear by, I get $$$ to automatically come out of my bank account at particular times for things such as ph bill, house pymt, car rego etc....so the bills get pd automatically. Or when they do come in they are not a huge shock as $$$ have been already pd off. This also allows you to know what you then have left to spend.

If you are needing things for a house, check out second hand shops or even somewhere like IKEA or Fantastic Furniture........not always best quality but great for beginners. You can always fix things up, paint etc to make them look nicer or different.

errr think that's all from me.

[Bathsheba]

*just back from cleaning my kitchen*

Y'know, being frugal becomes a habit/mindset groove that once you get into it's hard to drop. I just dried my dishes with a raggy old tea towel that was a hand-me-down from my MIL who passed away a few years ago. That tea-towel was probably made in the 1950's. It's 100% linen so has lasted. My DH is on a very good wage now... and technically I can afford to go out now and buy a brand new tea towel LOL ...but no... i'm going to use it right up until it can't be used any more. Sure it looks daggy hanging on the handle of my oven... but you know what? Who gives a rat's! I have better things to spend our money on! French lessons for a start.... A lot of women I know would have chucked it out ages ago despite it being still functional... hmmmm.

[Asparagus and Lemons]

I was able to furnish my house for under $300
I got all my items from ebay and got my dad and dh to go get them for me, most items I picked up were in top condition from people who were just upgrading or moving into a smaller home.
Also, try freecycle on yahoo, people are giving away their unwanted items for free. I have not used this service but some of my friends have and they love it. There are also a few auction houses in my area that I go to for fun.. Last week I picked up a whole bedroom setting for $5!!!! I plan to sell it in peices on ebay, so maybe look around for that kind of thing?
My dh and I are paying off a mortgage with one steady income and we are doing well. Although we dont have a bub, dh is a messy and hungry boy all the time. We do most of our work on the house by ourselves too and that saves money.
The only things we buy are grocerys and paying for our bills. We dont go to shopping centres in fear of tempting to buy things. If you have people that will baby sit for free then you should be fine One of my friends has a 2 year old and a one day a week job. I dont know HOW she does it, but she manages!

Good Luck to you!

[Butterfly Child]

Thank you so much Bathsheba, Erin and poopie for all your help means alot im kinda freaking out as its abit scary but i know i need to make the move but i want to stay in the same area as my fam too

Bathsheba- Wow thanks so much bathsheba you have given so many amazing tips!
especially these two which are my favs making sure theres good lighting in the house to save on electricity, silly me would have never thought of that.
aswell as use it until it can't be used any more..
Thanks again for your help suggestions means alot

poopie- thats a great idea about finding furniture on ebay and freecycle ill have to check it out, Im lucky too my dad loves looking after grace so theres my free babysitting wen i decide to venture back to work even though that scares me big time

Erin_25- I love your tip on using bicarb and vinegar as cleaning products thats a great one and IKEA is great i love that place thanks heaps for your help!!

[Bathsheba]

You're most welcome darl I learnt that thing about renting the right place with good light/insulation after renting so many different places with DH over the years... the last place had such a dark kitchen (it was in the centre of the house) that we had to have the overhead lights on there all the time, no matter what time of the day... such a waste of money! Doesn't matter so much if maybe the bedrooms are dark... all the better actually... but not the main living areas.

The main thing is just not to be too proud IYKWIM. My DH's parents never shopped at Op Shops because the idea was just too embarrassing... what a shame... they had 5 kids on a single income and money was always tight... they really would have benefitted. Pride is a very expensive thing to maintain... as long as things work, fit and are not dangerous then they'll do... don't get caught up in the perfection myth or the fashion treadmill. The best things in life are free... and all that

[Jennifer13]

Also, try freecycle on yahoo, people are giving away their unwanted items for free. I have not used this service but some of my friends have and they love it.

I completely attest to this! I have given away heaps on freecycle and received this over the last few years:

- A double bed and a double mattress
- A queen sized bed and a queen sized mattress
- A complete fish tank
- A spare toddler car seat
- A three seat sofa bed for the playroom
- A two seater couch for DP's business
- A small desk for the granny flat
- A sandpit, Fisher Price doll house, various other toys and little table and chairs set for DD

Some of the stuff we've given away includes fax machine, printers, toys, double ensemble, pram and stroller, and more stuff that I can't even remember! In our area, people are using Freecycle because of the speed and convenience of getting rid of things that are too good to throw out and because they can't be bothered with ebay. We have been so surprised at the quality of stuff we've picked up, in no way is it second-rate.

Look for your local group and hopefully that will help enormously.

[Oorki Galoorki]

if you have space at your parents place pick up the big stuff as you see it.. and store it until you need it.
even eachweek as you go shopping buy utensils (hardly notice it when its with your groceries)

[PinkPalace]

i often think of my early days and how i afforded living on my own.
I earnt a total of $240 a week and my rent in a studio flat (one large room) was half that.
I didnt have a phone - i would walk to the phone box down the road if i need one, and had a prepaid mobile for incoming calls.
I would go to fruit and ve shops and bought very simply.
Didnt go out , found free activities on the local council websites to attend for fun.
I owned a washing machine but no dryer - used a clothes horse to dry things.

I had a car loan (which was the worst thing ever to have so go rid of it quickly) and drove around a cheap old car.

I was studying (so could get rent assistance - something to look into) full time too.

It was doable. I actually didnt realise until years later how i managed to live on nothing. it was normal to me back then.

I think once you realise that you can do it, just need to give up some pleasures in life you will be fine!

and good work on the 3K this is great!

[Mak]

Great ideas!! I think it is very easy to get caught up in the idea that things have to be the latest release and brand new - buy the basics you can add things as you go. We don't buy things if we don't have the $$ - so we don't get caught in the buy now pay later cycle (fine if you do - but not so cool if you can't). We have old mobiles on prepaid plans and limit their use. Being organised helps - so I do a meal plan to max food use each week, plus try to shop once a week rather than always picking up extras. DH also does a weekly review - so checks the upcoming bills and adjusts his projections (annoys me but it works). Factor in a treat for yourself - it will help you keep on track, a bit like a diet!!!!
Good luck - you have heaps of great advice here - I am sure you can do it!

[Novella]

We avoid using credit
We have $20 a week come out of dh's bank for our electricity so that at the end of each quater we only have a small amount left to pay. We have tried to space our bills out so we dont have everything due at once.
I buy cleaning products in bulk, saves heaps.
I layby christmas pressies to space out the cost, my mum has a christmas bank account
I have spoken with family and we are doing secret santas this year for christmas and it should save as all a couple of hundred dollars as it was getting out of control and our family has expanded with partners and kids etc
I always welcome second hand clothes when they are ofered, 9 times out of 10 the clothes are in fabulous condition and as they aren't 'this seasons' you dont see every second child wearing the same clothes as your child. I always get 2 new outfits or each of my dd in summer and winter but I wait until they have the 25% off sales. (and always buy them a bit big so hopefully they might last 2 seasons)

making your own food saves heaps and tastes soo much better. I buy a lot of my meat in bulk packs or from the butcher in bulk when he has good specials then i portion it out at home and freeze it. I love our chest freezer, it costs a little bit to run but it means we have been able to buy a 1/3 off a cow butchered to freeze, dh has a friend who can get cheap frozen chickens so we buy them by the dozen and my dad always brings as frozen fish he has caught (he only likes to eat it fresh but it saves us money and doesnt go to waste). We also share fruit with fmaily members depending on who has what ripening at the time.

when I first moved out all my towels, kitchen utensils etc were second hand, I did buy a new fridge and cheap microwave but that was it.

good luck

[Bathsheba]

My theory regarding second hand items is that if it can be thoroughly washed then buy it secondhand. Some people might cringe at secondhand cutlery but that's what ours are! Pop them through the dishwasher and voila! Clean! It's what you use when you eat at a restaurant isn't it!?

My mobile phone is a late 90's model... ie a grey screen BRICK! No one I know has a mobile phone older than mine. I soooo don't care though. I don't have my ego linked to my phone or my car and that saves me heaps! Once again, I could buy a new phone, but *meh* I'd rather spend the money going to the Canberra Birth Rally if given the choice.

You know what? It's often battlers that struggle to keep up appearances My DH is a private banker to seriously wealthy people and the "old wealth" especially are amazing in how they don't need $ to feel good about themselves. It's a common thing for him to go round to millionaire's homes and find them sitting around in tatty old thread bare cardigans (not because they are scrooges and tight, just because they don't really care that much about what they wear at home)... but the next day he'll have to make a call to a struggling client and find him in the latest Armani suit... interesting isn't it?

[PinkPalace]

bath - you made me laugh. Up to about 2 months ago - i still had my unclaimed lost property mobile phone (from a nightclub) i got in 1999 !

i am not coping with having photos on my mobile now! lol!!!

As for 2nd hand. Even now i still go 2nd hand everything. I love recylcing and especially clothes.

I dont think i have bought clothes for myself in about 5 years (underwear excepted). Either passed on or 2nd hand and no one can tell.

My kids have wonderful 2nd hand clothes. i have only bought 1 item for each of them in 2 years (their christening outfits). they dont know the difference.

[Bathsheba]

Hehe, yeah, no one should have to suffer second-hand undies though... I do allow myself that luxury! I buy the Bonds undies in a box though... their Premium range... cost more but the elastic NEVER goes and they are comfy, never ride up Oh and I wouldn't cope with photos on my phone either... I don't like multifunction devices... don't know why. I'm probably will buy a new phone soon... but that's just it... I just want a new PHONE, not a camera etc.

[Butterfly Child]

lol you girls are hilarious, no i dont do second hand underwear thats for sure haha, i love op shopping too you can find somee great stuff

Thanks girls,Bathsheba,PinkPalace,Sararose, Mak,PinkPalace,doudou,Jennifer13,Poopie,Erin_25 for the suggestions and help given me some great ideas on wat i should do and wat i should watch out form Its means alot as i need all the help i can get xx

[Jennifer13]

I always think that by using secondhand you're doing the environment a favour too. All that stuff that would otherwise be in landfill and then all of the resources to make 'new' things when the secondhand will do. I like to think I'm going something about leaving the planet for my children! Plus, much more community minded to go to op shops and pass things around.

[Butterfly Child]

just thought id bump this for anyone else who wants tor ead all the great bidgeting tips i got from alot of ppl